I laughed a little unconvincingly. I didn’t want her to know that I was worried. I think that at times Sabrina herself did not believe in these accusations. It was a game to her, like charades and I Spy. She had always loved treasure hunts and games of detection.
‘You won’t need a taster now,’ she said. ‘You have the ring.’
I said thoughtfully: ‘I think the best thing you can do is take it back and put it where you found it.’
She was astounded and I went on slowly, playing her game: ‘It is best for them not to know that we know where it is.’
She nodded darkly.
I sat still, watching her speed across the grass to the house.
Was it possible? I asked myself. Was he in love with my sister? It was feasible enough. She was attractive and she shared that all-consuming passion. They were together a great deal. She was often invited to accompany him to gambling parties. I was left out because people knew I did not care to play. How often had I heard them laughing together or growing excited as they discussed the manner of some past play.
Was it so absurd? Was I wilfully blind to what was happening about me? Did I need the awareness and the possessive love of a child to make the picture clear to me?
After that I seemed to become conscious of a certain menace all about me. At times I thought it must be due to my condition. Women had strange fancies at such times. Sabrina had planted suspicion in my mind and it grew.
There was Lance. What did I know of Lance? He was in a way a secret person and this was all the more alarming because he showed no signs of secrecy. He appeared to be light-hearted in all ways, reckless, even careless, but always kind… avoiding trouble or any form of unpleasantness. How could he be capable of intrigue, of plots to be rid of me—for that was what it amounted to. I looked for motive. He had been both passionate and tender, a lover and a friend; but I had always known that his real passion was for gambling, and it had made a barrier between us. I had made it clear that I thought his gambling foolish; and there was Aimée, pretty enough and very elegant, with a love of gambling which almost equalled his own. They were together a great deal. There was one other dark thought. I guessed that there were debts and they might be enormous ones. He was constantly staving off his creditors. If I died, my fortune would be his… except the Hessenfield inheritance which had so rapidly increased at the time of the South Sea Bubble. But Aimée would have that because my money was to go to her and hers to me in the event of either one of us dying.
So there was a motive.
I wondered about the extent of Lance’s debts, but he would never tell me. He would always shrug the matter aside if I raised it, as though debt were a natural sequence in the life of a gentleman. Then it occurred to me that he might be in dire financial straits in which case my death would be a necessity to him for it would give him escape from his creditors and, at the same time, Aimée, if it were true he was in love with her. How could I be sure? He was charming to her, but he was charming to everyone and it was his nature to pretend that people were of the greatest importance to him. My death might even have meant to him escape from a debtors’ prison… and marriage with Aimée.
No, I could not believe it. There were times when my doubts seemed to have grown out of wildest imaginings and to be quite absurd.
Oh Sabrina, I thought, I am as bad as you are!
I found a certain pleasure in escaping to the woods which I loved. I found them enchanting, and different every day. I liked to watch the leaves change and to listen to the birds’ song. There was peace there and when I was among the trees everything seemed natural and normal, and my doubts faded away.
Of course, I would say to myself, it must have been Eddy who gave the bezoar ring to Aimée. She had been intrigued by it from the time she had first seen it and knowing how I felt about it she did not want me to know that it was in her possession. She probably felt she ought to hand it back to me and I could understand that she wanted it for herself. As for the suggestion that she and Lance were lovers, it was too ridiculous to stand up to credulity. He was my devoted husband; and I did not believe that he had ever been unfaithful to me either in thought or deed.
So I went to the woods in the late afternoon of each day; that was when Sabrina was having her riding lesson, and it was something she would not willingly give up. She was learning to jump now and was very excited about it.
I had returned from the woods that afternoon and was resting, as was my custom, when I heard Madame Legrand in the corridor outside my room talking excitedly to Aimée.
I rose and looked out.
‘Has something happened?’ I asked.
‘Oh dear,’ said Madame Legrand raising her hands and looking extremely annoyed with herself. ‘Now I have awakened you, which is méchante of me. Oh, but the ’eart it go pit-pat, pit-pat. I think it burst from the bosom.’
‘Maman had a shock near the common,’ Aimée explained. ‘There were gipsies there a day or so ago. One of them was lurking in the bushes. He called out to her as she passed… something about telling her fortune.’
‘He look… evil,’ said Madame Legrand. ‘I begin to run…’
‘And he ran after her, or so she thought,’ went on Aimée. ‘Poor Maman, rest a while and I will bring you one of your tisanes.’
‘And now we have return and disturb poor Clarissa. See to her, Aimée. I will go to my room. Clarissa, you must forgive.’
‘Oh it was nothing,’ I assured her. ‘I wasn’t asleep. I’m so sorry you’ve had a fright.’
‘Maman is nervous by nature,’ whispered Aimée, ‘but she will be recovered in half an hour.’
I went back to bed and shortly afterwards Sabrina came in to tell me how high her horse had jumped and how Job, the groom who was teaching her, had said he had never had as good a pupil as she was.
She was so proud of her achievements that she could think of nothing else and was not even very interested when I told her how Madame Legrand had been frightened by a gipsy.
It was a few days later when I took my usual walk in the woods. My favourite spot was a little clearing among the trees. There was an old oak there under which I liked to sit. From there I could just glimpse the dene hole between the trees. I would sit there and wonder about it and imagine for what it had been used in prehistoric days. I would dream too of my baby, who had now become alive to me. I could feel its movement -and I longed above everything to hold it in my arms.
I knew that to have a child of my own would be the greatest happiness I could hope for.
There was something strange about that afternoon. Was it a premonition? I wondered afterwards; but from the moment I had entered the woods I had been aware of something… I was not sure what. It was a certain uneasiness. I had felt it before… in Enderby particularly… as though I were being watched, that I was menaced in some way. The servants had said it was the ghost in Enderby, but were there ghosts in the woods?
Little sounds made me start; a crackle in the undergrowth, the displacement of a stone, a sudden rustling. It was probably a squirrel getting his hoard ready for the winter; perhaps a rabbit or a weasel or a stoat scuttling through the foliage; the breeze making moaning sounds as it moved among the branches of the trees. They were the natural sounds of the wood which, but for the unusual nature of my mood, would have gone unnoticed.
When I came to the clearing the strangeness passed and peace descended upon me. I sat there under the oak, thinking of my baby. This time next year you’ll be here, my little one, I thought. And how I longed for the waiting to be over.
And then… there it was again. I was not alone. I knew it.
I turned my head sharply. I thought I saw a dark shadow darting among the trees… scarcely a human being… a shape.
I sat very still peering into the wood. I could see nothing.
I had imagined it, of course. I turned away. And then… there it was again… the sound of a footfall, the eerie certainty that something was menacing me… something ev
il.
I must get back to the house. To do so I had to go through the woods and suddenly I was afraid of what might be lurking there. There was no other way, though. It was absurd to be afraid of those familiar trees which I loved.
I had let my imagination run on. Sabrina, I thought, you are responsible for this!
I was getting a little cumbersome and not able to get nimbly to my feet, and as I attempted to do so there was a movement from behind. I turned. Something struck me on the back of my head. I had fallen to the ground. I was not sure what happened then. I think I must have lost consciousness for a moment or so, before a terrible realization came sweeping over me that Sabrina had been right. Someone wanted me out of the way and here I was in the woods, alone and helpless.
It could only have been for a few seconds that I had lost consciousness. I was aware now that I was being dragged across the grass. I could smell the scent of earth; the grass brushed my hands; I had returned, from blankness to horror and a fearful understanding of what was happening to me.
I was being dragged towards the dene hole.
I could not see who my assailant was. It appeared to be a dark, cloaked figure… man or woman, I was not sure. I was lying face downwards on the ground and I could not see who was looming over me. I could feel my head beginning to throb and I knew that death was staring me in the face.
Sabrina… oh, Sabrina… I was thinking. You were right after all.
I had stepped into a nightmare. I was going to be taken to the dark pit and then… I should disappear.
Suddenly I heard a voice; ‘Clarissa! Clarissa!’
Everything seemed to stand still. Time itself. But the voice I heard was that of Sabrina. I thought I must be dreaming. It was the last moments of consciousness before death took me; and it was significant that it should be Sabrina of whom I was thinking.
Sudden silence. What had happened? I knew I was still above the earth; vaguely I could see the light; I could smell and feel the grass beneath me.
I tried to rise. I heard Sabrina’s voice again. ‘Stop. Stop. What are you doing to Clarissa?’
Then she was close to me, kneeling over me. I could see her face hazily through the mists which seemed to be settling over my eyes.
‘Clarissa… oh dear, dear Clarissa. Are you all right? You’re not dead, are you?’
‘Sabrina.’
‘Yes, I came. Buttermilk was in a bad mood today. He wouldn’t jump. Job said leave him. He’s touchy today. So I did and I came here to find you… and talk. Then I heard you call out and I saw… I saw…’
‘What did you see?’ I was fighting the desire to slip back into unconsciousness. ‘Sabrina… Sabrina… what did you see?’
‘Someone… was pulling you across the grass.’
‘Who was it? Who?’
I was waiting for her to tell me. It seemed like a very long pause. I was praying, I think. Oh God, let it not have been Lance.
‘I didn’t know. It was the disguise. A long cloak and a hood over its face. It could have been anyone.’
‘Oh, Sabrina, whoever it was was going to kill me. I felt the strangeness as I came into the woods today… something evil… lurking there.’
‘Yes,’ said Sabrina, ‘yes. I ought to get you back to the house. Can you walk?’
‘I think so.’
‘We ought to get someone to carry you. I can’t go away and leave you, though. It might come back.’
I was sitting up leaning against her and she had her arm protectively round me.
‘Oh Sabrina,’ I said, ‘it was… horrible.’
‘It was attempted murder,’ she answered. ‘If I hadn’t been here they would have killed you.’
‘You saved my life. I am sure of it. I know what it was going to do—take me to the dene hole.’ Sabrina was shivering.
‘I knew I had to save you,’ she said. ‘I knew it.’
We clung together for a moment. Then I said: ‘We must get back. If whatever it is comes back…’
‘I’d kill it,’ said Sabrina.
‘Help me up.’
She did. My head was swimming and I could feel a large bump coming up. I felt I was going to faint.
Then I thought with alarm of my baby. I felt it move within me and for a moment I felt exultant. I had greatly feared it might have suffered from the assault.
Sabrina put her arm round me and although she was only a girl of ten I felt safe and secure with her beside me.
I took a few tottering steps towards the trees.
‘It’s not really far,’ said Sabrina. ‘Can you do it, dear Clarissa?’
I said I could and I would.
As we came within sight of the house I saw Lance. He was on his way to the stables. When he saw us he stopped and stared.
‘Clarissa! Sabrina! What’s happened?’ he cried. He had run to us and as I looked at his kindly, handsome face, so full of concern, I was ashamed of myself for thinking for a moment that he could wish me harm, let alone do me any.
I said: ‘I was attacked in the woods.’
‘Good God! Are you all right?’
‘I’m very shaken… and I can feel a bump on my head. I think Sabrina has saved my life.’
It was as though a radiance had settled on Sabrina. She smiled and nodded. Then she said excitedly: ‘Something told me to go into the woods and save Clarissa. I came just in time. I saw this man… or whatever it was… all dressed in a cloak like a monk’s… and there was Clarissa on the ground. It was dragging her along to the dene hole.’
‘What are you talking about?’ demanded Lance.
‘It’s true,’ I said. ‘Someone did attack me. It didn’t seem like robbery. I was being dragged across the ground and I can only think it was to the dene hole.’
‘It sounds mad. But let’s get you in.’ He picked me up in his arms, and the tenderness in his face touched me deeply.
As we entered the hall Madame Legrand was coming down the stairs’.
She stopped suddenly at the sight of me and murmured: ‘Mon Dieu!’
Lance said: ‘Clarissa has been attacked in the woods. Let’s get her to bed.’
He went on up the stairs, Sabrina still at his heels with Madame Legrand joining her.
‘Attack, you say? What is this attack? This dear child… is she well? The little bébé…’
‘Everything is all right, I think,’ said Lance. ‘I’ll have the woods scoured to see what prowlers are about. Everyone must be warned.’ We had reached our bedroom and he laid me gently on the bed. ‘I shall get the doctor,’ he said. ‘I think that wisest.’
Madame Legrand said: ‘I will nurse her. I will see that she is well again. No harm must come to this little baby.’
Sabrina said: ‘I’m staying with her.’
‘No… no…’ murmured Madame Legrand, ‘she must rest. It is best for her to be quiet.’
Sabrina insisted stubbornly: ‘I shall stay.’
I smiled at my little defender. ‘I should like Sabrina to sit by my bed,’ I said.
Madame Legrand started to protest and Lance said: ‘If that is what you want, Clarissa…’
Sabrina smiled complacently.
Nanny Curlew had come in. She had heard what had happened. It always astonished me how quickly news travelled. She said a hot sweet dish of tea was what was wanted and she was brewing one immediately. I had had a nasty shock and that would help until the doctor came.
Lance went off to send someone for the doctor. Then he came and sat by my bed. Sabrina sat on the other side. When the tea came she took it from Nanny Curlew and tasted it.
‘It is not for you, Miss,’ said Nanny Curlew.
‘I know,’ retorted Sabrina, ‘but I’m the taster.’
I wanted to tell her how she comforted me; how happy I was to have her with me. It was to her I turned before I did to Lance, and that was significant. I could not feel suspicious of him as he sat there at my bedside, looking so anxious and tender, and yet… lurking at the back of my mind
there were still a few doubts and fears.
Those shapely white hands of his with the Clavering crest on the signet ring he wore on his little finger… were they the hands which had dragged me along? I kept thinking how much he would have gained by my death. He had had plenty of time to discard the monk’s robe… perhaps leave it somewhere in the woods… and then appear sauntering casually towards the stables.
And so I turned to Sabrina… the only one of whose fidelity I could be absolutely sure.
The doctor arrived. He shook his head gravely. It was a nasty blow I had had on the back of my head. My arms and legs were grazed too; but fortunately the baby appeared to be unharmed by the adventure. As for myself, I was very shocked—perhaps more than I realized just now. I must rest for several days and take nourishment. If I did so, he believed I would be myself in a week or so.
The news spread. Madame Legrand had been chased by a gipsy and now I had actually been attacked in the woods. The next day Aimée came running in from the woods in a breathless state. She had been chased by a figure in a dark cloak with a concealing hood which hid the face. She had been terrified and just managed to make the edge of the woods before the apparition caught up with her. As she came into the open, her pursuer disappeared.
‘It is some madman disguising himself with the hood and cloak,’ declared Lance. ‘I’ll set people to watch in the woods. He has to be caught.’
This he did but the apparition seemed to have learned that he was being looked for and made no appearances.
I recovered quickly. Sabrina was constantly with me, and I began to be glad of what had happened because of the change it had wrought in her. She had never forgotten that it was her disobedience which had cost her mother her life. Now she had saved mine and felt she had expiated her sin. Through her a life had been lost; now, through her, one had been saved.
I loved to have her near me, tasting my food as she insisted on. She was now even talking about the baby, and admiring the clothes which were being prepared for the child.
I found that I had lost a garnet brooch during my adventure. It wasn’t very valuable but was precious to me because Damaris had given it to me long ago.
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