by Lane Hayes
“Last night was good, yeah?”
Oh. Blood rushed from my head to my dick so fast I felt dizzy. I gulped and nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
Alex’s mouth curved in a sexy smile. His tone was low and laced with potent sensuality.
“Getting off with me in a dark hallway was better than me being your wingman, right? What if we change things up and I act as a direct liaison. You know, someone to help you take a more active role in getting you back in touch with your gay side. We can take it as far as you want. If it’s no more than a blowjob, that’s cool. If you want more, even better.”
My forehead wrinkled in suspicion as my mouth went dry. I was speechless, but I couldn’t let this go. I had to find my voice. “You’re offering sex? For what exactly?”
“It sounds sordid when you put it that way,” he said, clearly irritated.
“Oh, gee, excuse me,” I snarked, recrossing my arms. “What’s in it for you? Other than an orgasm or two?”
“I hope for more than two, but—”
“Spill it. What’s the catch?”
“I need a boyfriend.”
“What?”
Alex guffawed merrily. “Not a real boyfriend. I just need you to play a small part. Like an actor. But since you’ll actually be getting some fringe benefits, it shouldn’t be too hard.”
“I don’t get it. Why?”
“Because I want to come out. My father won’t believe I’m serious unless I have a man in my life.”
“Wait! I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”
“Hey, I know. I’m not pushing you out of your bi closet. It’s only with my family. Well, my dad. Selena will catch on, so there’s no point in trying to fool her. But my dad… he’s old school. To him my being gay isn’t an issue because I don’t have a significant other.”
“Excuse me if I’m missing something, but why would you need a significant other to come out? People do it all the time.”
“It’s not real to him. Don’t you get it? He thinks my gayness is like an extracurricular activity. A peculiar habit I’ll eventually grow out of. The only time he thought otherwise was when I told him about Armand. He doesn’t hear me. When my life went to shit when I came back to LA, my dad was fucking thrilled. Not because I was crushed. He’s not quite that heartless. But because it was a reset. A stupid blip. A ridiculous interruption before we could all get back to the regularly scheduled program. No harm, no foul.”
He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and raised his eyebrows in a gesture I translated as him willing me to understand. I shook my head slightly in confusion.
“Let me get this straight. You came here this morning, plying me with sausage and the memory of an amazing orgasm to ask me to be your ‘date’ to meet your dad? And the exchange for me is what? You’re gonna give me a blowjob and maybe even let me fuck you to help me get my gay back on? No offense, but that strikes me as more of a win on my side than yours. What’s the catch? And why me anyway?”
Alex had the nerve to look terribly insulted. I was about to call him out on his absurd reasoning when he held up an authoritative hand.
“First of all I didn’t come here with an agenda. I would have brought the fucking chorizo anyway, asshole. The idea just came to me. I know it’s unconventional. I can’t just come out without completely alienating and upsetting my dad. I think easing him into this and making it clear I’m serious will make a difference.”
He came toward me and stood between my thighs. I could feel the hair on his legs brush against mine as he tilted his head and gave me a sultry stare.
“As far as why you…. Well, there’s a couple reasons. You’re my type. You’re tall, fit, and hot. You look like Clark Kent with those sexy glasses. Total fucking turn-on. I can’t bring some guy around I don’t find attractive. I’m not that good an actor. Plus, if we attempt this little experiment, we can continue what we started in the dark last night. No guilt. No worrying about unrealistic expectations because we know the score.”
Alex closed the tiny gap of space between us, caging me against the countertop with his strong arms as he pressed his hips against mine suggestively.
“Whatever is happening here goes both ways. Don’t deny it, Nate. I think you want to blow me, and something tells me you really want me to fuck you too.”
Alex nuzzled his shaven chin against my scruffy one before gently biting my jaw, then licking his way to my mouth. He kissed me softly, smiling devilishly as he pulled away and ran his fingers absently down my chest. My heart was beating like I’d run a marathon. Blood rushed to my ears, making it difficult to hear, but as he rounded the island and stepped toward the door, I knew I had to pay attention or risk falling behind before anything really started between us.
“Be ready at five tonight.”
“Huh?” Too late. I was lost already.
“Sunday night family dinner. You game?”
He didn’t wait for my answer. He turned back when he reached the door and flashed his brilliant smile at me. This time I noticed something personal in the gesture, and I was immediately struck by a realization. As seductively charming as Alex Reyes was with the way he moved like a tiger stalking his prey, exuding easy confidence and sexual energy, it was his smile that did it for me. Knowing the extra spark in his eye was for me alone, a private sort of communication, made me more likely to say yes to anything he asked.
Even go to a family dinner.
SOOTHING STRAINS of Vivaldi’s Four Seasons drifted through the condo. The up-tempo, furious workings of a violin’s bow created a frantic yet somehow pacifying mood. The juxtaposition had always fascinated me. Classical music calmed me the same way surfing did. It helped me relax and mentally shift my muddled thoughts from the unknown to a plane of thought where simply being was what mattered. I could usually count on Mozart or Chopin to chase away useless musings or anxiety if I didn’t have the time or the conditions weren’t in my favor to get on a surfboard.
Not tonight. I was a nervous wreck.
I’d changed my shirt three times, finally settling on the first light blue button-down and a pair of khaki trousers. Casual but dressy enough for a family dinner. I combed my hair and adjusted my glasses as I eyed myself in the mirror one last time. I had to pull myself together. I was being ridiculous. Or was I?
I’d never been introduced as another man’s boyfriend. Scott and I never made it that far. Even though this was a phony title, I felt as skittish as I would have were it the real deal. Alex’s description of his father hadn’t helped. Chances were high his introduction would be met with a cool reception at best. It was more likely full-scale theatrics would ensue. I had to wonder for the umpteenth time since he’d sauntered out of my condo that morning, what the fuck made me agree to this.
The answer was obvious. Alex. My attraction to him went beyond anything I’d felt for anyone in a very long time and it had me acting strangely out of character. I should have been completely turned off by his proposition to use sex in exchange for playing the role of his boyfriend. But the mere memory of him pressing his body against mine as he claimed to know my secret desires made me uncomfortably hard. In fact the idea alone of being naked with Alex was enough to make me dizzy. It wasn’t just about sex, though. It was about the challenge. He was using a flimsy excuse to make what we both wanted seem like a friendly agreement between two consenting adults. A contract. He was offering a roundabout means to assuage any guilt or oddness from creeping in by making this into a game. Alex was daring me to play a part I hadn’t in well over a decade. He was asking more than the average bi guy emerging from the closet after years in the dark would be comfortable with. It would take courage. And maybe that was the point.
THE DRIVE from Santa Monica to Redondo Beach took half an hour. Typical of LA, the shortest route was the 405 freeway, where a traffic delay was a given. Even on a Sunday. Alex didn’t seem concerned about being late for dinner. He chatted nonchalantly in the passenger seat about his busy day training
two new clients. I tried to pepper the one-sided conversation with a couple “mmm-hmms” so he’d know I was paying attention, but I was too nervous to say much more.
As the cars came to a standstill near the airport, Alex laid his hand gently on my arm. “Nate. This will be fine. Honestly.”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“You don’t believe me, do you?”
I glanced over at him briefly. God, he was sexy. He wore a dark emerald check button-down shirt with designer jeans. The color of his shirt made his eyes pop. He looked gorgeous.
“Did you cut your hair?”
Alex grinned broadly as he ran his fingers through his newly coiffed head.
“Yeah. What do you think?”
It really wasn’t that much shorter. Maybe along the sides, but he still had those wavy locks on top. He looked amazing. As usual.
“It’s good,” I commented offhandedly.
Alex burst into a short round of laughter. I could feel him studying me with amusement, though I had no clue what the hell was so funny.
“Gee, thanks. Carmen worked out at the gym today and offered to give me a quick cut. She’s one of my trainers who also happens to be a beautician. I didn’t want to hear my dad gripe about my messy head of hair. Again.”
“I like your hair long.”
I hadn’t meant to say that aloud. It was true, but it sounded like a strange compliment to give another man. Or did it? Maybe it was old paranoia speaking for me. Don’t stare too long. Don’t stand too close. Don’t say weird things, or surely someone will catch on you aren’t who you say you are. I shook my head, hoping to shake off ancient neurosis.
“Thank you. I do too. Actually I don’t really pay much attention to it, and it can get a little wild.”
“It suits you,” I said with a small shrug.
“Thanks.” I didn’t have to look at him to feel the warmth of his smile.
My shoulders slipped down a notch, making me feel instantly relaxed. I couldn’t figure him out. It occurred to me the man next to me had an uncanny ability to either make my pulse race or surprise me with an unexpected calm.
Of course the moment we pulled in front of his sister’s house, my nerves resurfaced. I parked at the curb and turned in my seat, setting my hand on his before he opened the door.
“Alex, I have no clue what to do in there. I don’t know how I’m supposed to act or—”
“Hey. Shh. I’m not dragging you into a war zone, I promise. My family is very welcoming. I’ll introduce you as my friend and then later, as we’re about to leave, I’ll spring the boyfriend part. Just be yourself. Don’t think too hard. Okay?”
I sighed deeply and reached for my door. “Maybe we should come up with a hand signal, in case I’m not being—”
“Nate. You’ll be fine. Honestly. Come on.”
HIS SISTER Selena and her husband, Raul, lived in a two-story Mediterranean-style home on a quiet cul-de-sac a mile or so away from the beach. The exterior was much like the others on the street, with an ecru-colored stucco exterior and a tiled roof. Three large palm trees stood sentry outside the gated courtyard. Alex pushed open the wrought-iron gate to a pretty garden area with a wooden bench on one end and a trickling fountain surrounded by flowers on the opposite side. It was a tranquil, inviting space that reminded me of the house in Oxnard where I’d grown up. However, the second I stepped into the large, sunlit entry, I knew I was wrong. To say it was bright would be an understatement.
The terra-cotta tile from the courtyard carried inside and throughout the downstairs living area. And though the walls were mostly neutral shades of taupe, there was ample color in the huge throw rugs, jewel-toned pillows, brilliant artwork, and tin-framed mirrors decorated with vivid classic tiles. This was a traditional Mexican family home filled with finely crafted elements that could only be found in their native Mexico. Knockoffs might be readily available all over Southern California, but I knew enough about design to recognize authenticity when I saw it.
Alex’s voice boomed off the walls and vaulted ceilings as he called out a loud greeting and left me to close the door. I could hear the answering call of children laughing and pieces of a conversation in Spanish as I followed him into an enormous great room beyond the formal living room area. A brightly tiled kitchen with a huge island anchored the space opposite the family room, where a large flat screen televising a soccer game hung above a generous stone fireplace. Comfortable-looking furniture was strewn with brilliant pillows in reds, blues, oranges, and yellows. Every piece of furniture was seemingly positioned with an unobstructed view of the soccer game.
“Tio, Tio, Tio!” three small dark haired children chanted, jumping around Alex’s feet.
He scooped a small boy into his arms and hung him upside down by his feet, making him giggle helplessly. He set the child down carefully before dutifully giving the others the same attention. I looked on wearing a silly grin as I found myself charmed by yet another side to the ever-bewitching Alex.
“Selena, help!” he called to the tiny woman standing behind the island. She shook her head in mock exasperation before telling the children to find their grandfather and let him know Alejandro was here. The younger two, a boy and a girl, scampered to do as they were told, but the eldest boy stayed to engage his uncle in a short conversation about a new video game he’d mastered.
“Cool. Get your iPad, and show me. Let’s see if I can get to your level.”
“No way. It took me two weeks!” the boy said with a winning smile before darting away.
I stuck my hands in my back pockets, feeling awkward as Alex greeted his sister with a kiss on the cheek. They spoke in a hushed tone I couldn’t decipher, though I guessed he was filling her in about their guest. Me.
“Nate, come here. I want you to meet Selena.” Alex wrapped his arm around the small plump woman with shoulder-length jet-black hair and kind eyes.
“Hi. I’m Nate. Thank you for inviting me to dinner.” My voice sounded a little wooden and businesslike but hopefully not insincere.
“It’s our pleasure. I’m so glad Alejo brought a friend.”
I looked for similarities between the siblings and came up blank. Other than their dark hair and skin coloring, they didn’t look alike. At all. Alex was tall, handsome, and fit while his sister was short, maybe five foot three, plain, and on the heavier side. Her smile, however, was wide and welcoming. I liked her instantly.
“Nate’s my neighbor. He’s renting the place next door for a few months. I brought him some of your chili verde a couple weeks ago, and the guy couldn’t stop talking about it. I figured I’d bring him by for the freshly made version of… what are you making tonight?”
“Enchiladas,” Selena replied, giving her brother a sharp sideways glance.
“Ohhh. Hmm. Maybe we better come back another night, Nate. Those are definitely not her strong—ow!” Alex covered his head dramatically where his sister smacked him with a dish towel.
Selena switched to Spanish and gave her brother an earful about being rude and disrespectful. He rolled his eyes, then picked her up and spun her in a circle until she screamed with laughter. I watched their silly antics with a chuckle. It was easy to see they adored each other.
“Where’s Papá?” Alex picked up a carrot and moved toward the refrigerator.
“He’s out back with Raul. He brought over one of his prized tomato plants,” Selena said with an eye roll.
“Be nice, Lena. The more hobbies he has the better it is for everyone. Nate doesn’t drink beer. I’m going to grab a bottle of tempranillo. I’ll be right back.”
“That’s okay—” I protested.
Whatever. I could certainly use a glass of wine and Selena seemed very pleasant. Not suspicious or overly inquisitive in the slightest. Just friendly.
“Nate, come sit, and tell me about yourself while I chop onions,” she directed me as she resumed her place behind the island.
Selena peppered me with basic get-to-know-you questions: Where ar
e you from? What do you do? She kept her eyes on her chore, occasionally looking up with a sweet smile to let me know she was listening. Alex sailed back into the room a few minutes later and asked me to choose between the two bottles he held. I studied the labels in an effort not to stare at him. He was beautiful. He only had to walk into a room to brighten the atmosphere. It was tangible and intoxicating. I pointed to one of the bottles and chuckled when he immediately shook his head.
“Nah, you don’t want that one. This one is better,” he said with a wink.
“Why did you ask me, then?”
“I was being polite.” He shrugged as he moved away to get a glass.
I smiled at him and caught myself admiring his broad shoulders, his tapered form, and his gorgeous—
“What is your favorite kind of wine, Nate?”
I tore my gaze away from Alex’s ass and turned toward Selena in time to realize she was on to me. Her watchful eyes flew between her brother and me, then back again. The siblings shared a silent communication. Without uttering one word, he confirmed her sudden suspicion there was more between us than merely being neighbors. Selena opened her mouth, but Alex cut her off with a quick shake of his head. She nodded and gave him a funny look before smiling and patting his hand in a gesture of sisterly affection and support.
The exchange made me think about my own sibling. I hadn’t seen Ryan in three months, which was pretty normal for us. He was busy with his family and his job. And I was just busy. Every time I saw my niece and nephew, I was blown away by how much they’d changed. They were young enough to not remember me well each time we met, and though it made things awkward at first there was a part of me that realized I had the power to change things by making myself more available. The way Ryan had been for me last year when everything went to hell so fast my head spun for months afterward.
I shook off the bad memories as I took a sip of wine and tuned back into the conversation taking place in Spanish next to me.