“Of course I’ll go with you. Drive your car home first and then we can take mine to the hospital. Okay?”
I was nodding. “Yes. Okay. Let’s do that.”
“Samantha, whatever happens, just know that we will get through it together.”
“Okay. Together. You’re right. We will get through this together. I love you, Jackson.”
“I love you too, Samantha. Now come on home.”
“See you soon,” I said as I hung up the phone. I packed up all of the papers on my desk and put them in my briefcase. Then I grabbed my purse and briefcase and left my office, rushing to get home.
* * *
I made it home in record time, but I couldn’t even remember the drive. Jackson opened the laundry room door to greet me as I turned off my car. He held his arms out to me, and I walked into them, wanting the comfort they brought.
“Let me go run to the bathroom, then I’ll be ready to go.” I walked out of my husband’s arms, walked into the laundry room, and quickly dropped my stuff on the dryer. Then I raced to the bathroom, wanting to leave for the hospital as soon as possible.
When I finished in the bathroom and walked into the kitchen, Jackson was standing in front of the refrigerator, looking in it. “Would you like something quick to eat?”
“No. I can’t eat anything right now—my stomach is so tied up in knots. Let’s go. I need to see how my dad is.”
“Alright,” he said, closing the refrigerator doors and walking out to the car with me.
* * *
Jackson and I were greeted at the hospital by my mother and sister, Cassandra—Cassie for short. Cassie was older than me by a year, and six months ago she had married her husband, who was currently deployed in Japan. There had been no news about my father yet, so the four of us were silently waiting for a doctor to come out and tell us something.
“You doing okay, Samantha? Would you like anything to eat or drink?” Jackson asked me.
“I’m fine,” I said. I looked up at him and I knew that he didn’t believe me for one second. Thankfully, he didn’t decide to say anything about it.
“Does anyone else want anything?” he offered to my mom and sister. Both of them shook their heads.
Finally, a doctor came into the waiting room, asking for my family. We all raced up to her, wanting to find out information.
“Hi. I’m Dr. Knoell, Dan’s doctor. It appears that he did indeed have a heart attack. Thankfully, it was a small one and caused no irreversible damage. He won’t have to have surgery although he will need to change his diet and amount of exercise he does. We will keep him here for a couple of days to monitor him. You can go see him now if you like. He’s in room 724.”
A murmur of thank you’s were said as the doctor left and then the four of us went upstairs to see my dad. We walked into the room together and he looked pale and rather small in the hospital bed. He was awake, which I was very happy about.
“Oh, Dad. Please don’t ever scare us like that again! I feel like I aged twenty years waiting to hear news about how you were,” I said, bending to give him a kiss on the cheek.
“Sorry, Sammy. I promise I’ll try not to scare you guys ever again.”
Sammy, I thought. My Dad was the only person in the world who ever called me that. It brought a wistful smile to my face.
I moved out of the way so my sister and mother could talk with my father, and I went to the end of the bed where Jackson stood. He wrapped an arm around me and I couldn’t help but start to feel relieved and that everything was going to be okay.
* * *
After several hours, Jackson and I left the hospital. Cassie and my mom were spending the night and I promised to be back at the hospital first thing the next morning when visiting hours began.
On the drive home, I sat in the passenger’s seat, silently looking out the window. I couldn’t get the fear of losing my father out of my mind.
Jackson pulled into the garage and took the keys out of the ignition. “Come on, baby girl. Let’s go inside and I’ll take care of you. You need a really big dose of some tender loving care from your Daddy after the day you’ve had.”
I nodded as we got out of the car and walked into our house.
He took my hand and led me to the bathroom, sitting me down on the toilet as he turned on the bathtub water. He added some vanilla scented bubble bath and then began to help me undress. When I was naked, he helped me into the tub. As my husband began to slowly wash me, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, trying to relax from all the stress that had occurred.
When he finished washing me, he helped me out of the tub, dried me off, carried me into the nursery, and placed me on the changing table. Then he dressed me in a diaper and a pair of pink zip-up footie pajamas with white stars on them—probably the comfiest footie pajamas we owned.
Once I was dressed, he carried me downstairs to the kitchen and put me down in a regular chair instead of my high chair. He quickly cooked up some scrambled eggs and toast and put it on my Disney Princess plate. I picked up my fork and slowly began to eat as I watched my daddy make my nightly bottle.
When I finished eating, he picked me up, carried me back into the nursery, and sat down in the rocking chair with me cuddled up in his lap. “How are you doing, little girl? And no more ‘fine’ because you are not fine.”
My bottom lip began to tremble, and then the waterworks started flowing. The whole time, my daddy just held me and rocked me, telling me in a soft voice that everything was going to be okay.
When I calmed down enough, he popped the nipple of the bottle into my mouth. Between the stress of the day, all the crying, and the warm milk, my eyes started to become heavy.
When I finished my bottle, my daddy picked me up and walked out of the nursery and into our bedroom.
“Why did you bring me in here, Daddy?” I asked, half asleep.
“Because little girl, like I said, you need a big dose of tender loving care. That means lots of cuddles. Could I cuddle you in your crib?”
“No. You’d fall out of my crib,” I answered, giggling like a little girl would.
“That’s right. Now go to sleep, baby,” he said as he put a pacifier in my mouth. I fell straight to sleep after that.
Sometime in the middle of the night, I woke up halfway to the feeling of needing to go to the bathroom. I remembered that I was in a nice, thick diaper so I let go, emptying the contents of my bladder into it. I was still exhausted so I was back to sleep before I even finished using my diaper.
Chapter Twenty-Two
I woke up with a start. Then I remembered what happened yesterday and bolted up in bed and began crying again. Jackson was by my side instantly. “You’re okay, sweetie pie. You’re home. You’re safe, and your father is okay too.”
I still kept crying hard. I kept thinking about what could have happened to my dad.
When I had settled down enough and was softly whimpering, Jackson said, “Here, drink this, sweetie. With all the crying you’ve done, I don’t want you to become dehydrated.” He pushed the nipple of a bottle into my mouth.
I sucked on the nipple and tasted apple juice, so I took the bottle from Jackson. I held my bottle with one hand, and I kept running my other hand up and down his arm as if to reassure myself that he was actually there.
As I continued to slowly drink from my bottle, I calmed down even more and realized that I had to go to the bathroom. So, I began to fill my diaper again. I had forgotten that I had used my diaper during the night, until I felt it get really heavy.
“Did someone use their diaper?” Jackson asked, unzipping my pajamas.
Generally, I would be mortified to let my husband see how much I had used my diaper. But this morning, I was still so tired from the day before that I just didn’t care.
“Oh yes, you did. You look absolutely soaked. I’ll change you now.”
He picked me up and carried me to the changing table in the nursery. I wasn’t done with my bottle yet, so I
kept drinking it while my daddy changed me.
“All done!” he said as he finished putting a new diaper on me and had zipped up my pajamas.
I had just finished my bottle at the same time and giggled, “Me too, Daddy!”
“I think it’s breakfast time. Come on. Let Daddy go feed his b-e-a-utiful little girl,” he said, picking me up off the changing table. The way he’d said “beautiful” put me in a fit of giggles, and I was still laughing when he placed me in my high chair.
For breakfast that day, I was fed a bowl of Cheerios and milk. Daddy also spoon fed me a jar of peaches. He then took me out of my high chair and brought me back to his study. He had moved my swing in there and he buckled me into it.
“Why are you putting me in here?” I asked.
“Well, little girl, you went to bed very late last night and I don’t know if you noticed, but it was about 5:30 a.m. when you got up this morning. You need more sleep. I want to be near you, but I need to get some work done. So, I’ll go make you another bottle, and when I get back, I’ll expect you to get some more sleep.”
I was about to protest when he said, “Hospital visiting hours don’t start until 10 a.m. It’s only 6:15 a.m. right now. You have time to catch a few more hours of sleep.” With that, he left the room.
He came back with another bottle of apple juice for me. He handed the bottle to me and I began to suck on it while my daddy sat down behind his desk. Before he had sat down, he pressed the button on the swing to make it rock back and forth. I kept sucking on my bottle, fully relaxed as my eyes started to close.
* * *
I woke up and saw that there was sunlight streaming through the window and Daddy was working at his desk. I wanted to get his attention so I made a little mewling noise, wanting to get out of the swing. He glanced up from his work and smiled when he realized that I was awake.
“Well hello, baby girl. Did you have a nice nap?”
“Yes, Daddy. I feel a lot better now.”
“I’m glad. Let’s get you out of that swing, and then I want you to finish that bottle.”
The bottle of apple juice that I had been sucking on before I fell asleep was still in my lap, and it was still half full. My daddy came over, unbuckled me, and carried me over to the couch. He had picked up my bottle and began to nurse me. I finished the bottle pretty quickly and then he turned me around over his shoulder and began to burp me. I let out a really big burp, and my face turned red from embarrassment.
“That’s my good girl. That was such a loud burp. That must have made you feel better. Did you wet your diaper?”
I shook my head and didn’t protest when he unzipped my pajamas all the way down to expose my diaper.
“No, you didn’t,” he said. He began to ever so lightly caress his fingers around my tummy and he slightly touched the front of my diaper. I got that feeling again, and I let myself go, filling my diaper with liquid warmth.
Jackson put his hand over my diaper and I could feel him slightly pressing down on my diaper. He pulled his hand away when the flood of urine stopped.
He looked at me and said, “I know that this isn’t the time to be talking seriously, but thank you for trusting me so much. You have no idea the feeling that this gives me—knowing that you, my beautiful wife, will submit to me and let me take care of your every need.”
I smiled and looked up at my husband. “You’re welcome.”
He smiled back and said, “Well, baby girl. I guess it’s time to change you and get back to being a big girl.”
* * *
I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself. I was terrified to go back to the hospital. What if something happened in the middle of the night? Or else, what if my dad went home and then something happened? My dad is only fifty eight years old. He still has so much life left to live, I thought. I walked out of our bathroom and into our bedroom and found Jackson there, getting ready too.
“Baby. I know how nervous you are about this, so I want you to wear these. They should make you a little more comfortable and should also keep your little personality at the front of your mind so that you will know that you can come to me as your daddy and I will be there to protect you. I promise that no one will notice that you have them on.” He was holding a pair of training pants. I didn’t want to argue, so I just grabbed them and held onto them as I got the other clothes I would need for the day.
I took my clothes back into the bathroom, closing the door. I first put on the training pants, then a green bra, then jeans and a green long sleeve T-shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror and realized that he was right. No one would be able to tell that I had the pull-up on. I could only feel the slight bulkiness between my legs and the light sound of crinkling could easily have been from my jeans.
I finished getting ready and then we were off to the hospital.
Half an hour later, Jackson and I walked into the hospital and were told by a nurse that my father had a great night and that as long as everything stayed on the right course, he could go home on Friday. I was relieved. That meant there was no chance of my father being in the hospital for the holidays.
After we got the news, Jackson and I walked into my dad’s hospital room.
“Hi, Dad,” I said, walking up to him and giving him a hug and kiss on the forehead.
“Hey, Sammy. Hey, Jackson,” he said, waving at my husband.
Jackson waved back at him.
“How are you doing, Dad?”
“I’m alright. Except, this crazy doctor put me on a strict diet and exercise plan. I can’t eat bacon anymore, Sammy! That just isn’t right. Every man should be allowed to eat bacon when he wants to.”
I smiled at my dad. If it were up to him, he would be eating bacon every day for almost every meal.
“I’m sure that you could eat some low sodium bacon every once in awhile,” I said, trying to make him realize that not all hope was lost.
“I refuse to eat that stuff. If I’m going to eat something, I’m going to eat it right,” he said, crossing his arms across his chest.
“Don’t worry, dear. When I make you some low sodium bacon, you won’t be able to tell that it isn’t regular bacon,” my mom said, sitting down next to my dad.
“Okay dear,” my dad said, winking in my direction as he gave my mom a small kiss.
“Would you like to go for a walk before we leave, Dad?” Cassie asked, standing at the end of the bed next to Jackson.
“Nah. I’ll go for a walk later. Why don’t you two go on home now? I’m sure that you’re both tired.”
“Alright, dear. No funny business or bothering the nurses when we’re gone,” my mom said, giving him a kiss goodbye.
“Do you really think that I would do something like bother these nurses, after how well they’ve treated me?” my dad asked, pretending to be appalled at the idea.
“Funny dear,” my mom said, giving my dad a gentle slap across his shoulder as he smiled like a goofball.
Cassie gave him a hug and kiss on the forehead. “Bye, Dad. See you in a few hours.”
With that, the two of them left the room.
“Now that they’re gone, let’s bust me out of here so I can get some decent food,” my dad said, throwing the covers off of his legs.
“Funny, Dad. How about if we go for that walk now?”
“Fine.”
My dad and I walked around the hallway and then went back into his room. He took a little nap right before lunch and once he awoke, his lunch was served. Of course, he complained about his food tasting terrible. I tried a piece of his boneless chicken breast and had to agree with him.
After lunch, we watched Grease, and then my sister and mother came back. We sat in my dad’s room for some time, talking and laughing before dinner was served. Jackson ran down to the cafeteria to get my mom, sister, and I some food so that we could all eat dinner together.
“Hey, Sammy. I forgot to ask you. How was Disney World?” my father asked as he pushed his half
-eaten dinner away from him.
“It was unbelievable! We had so much fun and we went on pretty much all the rides,” I said.
“Did you ever go on the Tower of Terror? You called me before to tell me that you were going on it, but you never called me afterwards to say if you went on it or not,” Cassie said.
My face turned bright red at the mention of the Tower of Terror. I couldn’t help but remember what I had done while I was on that ride.
“Yes… we went on it,” I said quietly.
“What aren’t you telling us? You look really embarrassed. Did something happen?” Cassie asked.
“I…” I began to say, but Jackson cut me off.
“She’s embarrassed because of me. When we were on that ride, I screamed like a little girl, while she rode it like a pro. Truth be told, I never knew that my voice could go that high,” Jackson said, chuckling.
The entire room burst out into laughter, and I was just relieved that I didn’t have to come up with a lie to tell my family because no one would have believed me. I am a terrible liar.
After dinner, we watched Chopped on the Food Network. It was such a fun show to watch. My family and I each chose a person who we thought would win before the show started. Then during the show, we would talk to the TV, trying to encourage the person we supported. We all ended up sounding crazy, but it was fun since we did it together.
At 9 p.m., Jackson and I were shuffled out of my dad’s room by the nurses. My mom and sister decided to spend the night again with my dad, which I was glad about. Despite the circumstances, I was really happy that I got to spend the day with my family as I hadn’t done that in a while. It was also nice to be able to see that my dad was getting better. Knowing that he was going to be okay after all started to make me relax a little,
I was also happy that no one had known that I had worn my training pants. Jackson had been right when he said that no one would notice I was wearing them. And as crazy as it sounded, they had helped me relax. Wearing them kept my little personality at the front of my mind, and I knew that my daddy would take care of me and my family.
Little Samantha's Choice Page 17