Why I’m torturing myself with a drawing that brings only bittersweet memories makes no sense. Despite having deleted his number from my phone, my feelings for Jaeger haven’t faded or changed. They are as stubborn as I am.
He glances over with a smile. “Maybe some other time.”
Leo’s cute, with a week’s worth of stubble and shaggy blond hair. His eyes are a warm brown and he’s on the tall side, if a bit skinny. When I’m with him, I feel nothing. No zing, no spark. Between my new job and classes, I’m surrounded by available men, and I can’t appreciate any of them. It’s like Jaeger sapped me of the chemicals needed for attraction.
Leo pulls into my driveway and I reach for my book bag on the floor, shoving in a pencil that’s sticking out of the side pocket.
“You expecting someone?” Leo says.
I look up and my heart does this weird throb thing that’s so powerful, I feel it in my throat. Because Jaeger is waiting at the front door.
“No,” I say shakily.
Leo glances from me to Jaeger, his expression hesitant as he takes in Jaeger’s size. “You want me to stick around? I could—”
“It’s okay. He’s a friend.”
For some reason, I feel guilty calling Jaeger a friend, like I’m betraying him with another guy when that’s not the case. I can’t call Jaeger my boyfriend after his ex-girlfriend has moved in. For all I know, Jaeger is here to downgrade me to friend status in person.
Leo nods. “Okay, well, have a good evening. Pick you up same time Friday?”
“That’d be great. I really appreciate the rides, Leo.” He smiles.
I step out and close the car door behind me, waiting for Leo to reverse. He holds up his hand briefly before pulling out onto the street.
I slowly shift, shoulders, then feet, then my eyes from the gravel to the house, and to Jaeger with his hands shoved in his jean pockets. His elbows are bent the way they do to accommodate the length of his arms when he has his hands in his pockets, the muscles below the sleeves of his T-shirt tensed and corded. His mouth is tight and twisted to the side in a concerned, edgy expression.
I make my way over, passing him as I approach the front door.
He grabs my hand, but I slip it out of his grip. “Cali, please. We need to talk.”
“Tyler told me you’re living with Kate.”
Jaeger blinks, surprised, but not upset. He lets out a deep breath. “I wanted to tell you.”
“Does it matter how I found out? You’ve moved on. Obviously.” I unlock the front door and he follows me inside. No one’s home, and that makes me mad. I don’t want to be alone with him.
All those chemical reactions that hibernated around other guys flared up the second I saw Jaeger.
I walk straight to the backyard. At least out in the open I don’t smell him, feel him so close to me.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to call. I had a commission that was late, and then I went out of town for a couple of days.”
He went on vacation? With his ex? He thinks that’s an acceptable explanation for why he waited days to call me? “Whatever, Jaeger. Why are you here?”
He flexes his jaw. “I’m trying to tell you, Cali, but you’re making it difficult.”
“Difficult? I’m making it difficult? Do you want to know what sucks? Finding out your boyfriend has a child. Want to know what else blows? Having him leave you for his ex-girlfriend. Get out of my house, Jaeger!”
I’m hysterical. All that pent-up pain unleashing itself on him. At least it’s aimed in the right direction.
“I’m not leaving,” he says calmly. “We need to talk. You don’t underst—”
“What?” I hold up my hands. “That we’re over? Oh, I got that when Tyler told me you’re shacking up with your ex. Not much to misinterpret there.”
“Cali”—his eyes are warm and soft—“if I wasn’t so frustrated, I’d kiss you. I missed you, feisty.”
I squint. “Have you lost your mind?”
He lets out a loud sigh, walks over, and scoops me up. “Maybe. I feel a little crazed at the moment.”
I glance at the dirt I’m no longer standing on. “Put me the eff down, you giant lumberjack!”
“Done.” He swings around and stalks into the house.
“Wait, wait,” I say in a panic. Not the house! What asshole didn’t lock the back door? I wiggle to get loose. “Outside, Jaeger. Put me down outside.”
He looks back with a concerned expression. “You’re not really mad, are you?”
“I’m going to hoist your balls in a—”
“Okay, good. Just making sure.”
He shifts me over his shoulder, cups my ass with one hand, and opens the bedroom door.
“Not there! We need to stay in the living room. I’m not going near a bed with—”
I land on my back cockeyed, my breath rushing out in whoosh. “What. Are. You. Doing!”
“Trying to get my girlfriend to listen for a minute.” Jaeger leaps on top of me, bracing his weight on his arms on either side of my head.
He completely ignores my frown and pecks my lips before his gaze goes distracted, hovering above me like he’s going to camp out there for a while. “Kate’s up to something,” he says. “I can’t prove it yet. I drove up to North Shore, where she supposedly lived for a couple of years.”
He’s speaking as if we’re having a normal couple conversation, not like it’s been an entire week since we spoke to or saw each other, and I am incredibly furious with him.
Maybe he has lost his mind.
“I tried to track down her friends, an old employer—I found nothing. The woman I spoke to at the Chamber of Commerce said there’s never been a business by the name of the last employer she gave me.” He leans on his elbow and sweeps a lock of hair off my forehead.
I swat at his fingers.
Just because he explained that his trip wasn’t a vacation with his ex, it doesn’t justify his absence.
Jaeger’s lips quirk briefly, then turn down. He plays with the collar of my shirt. “Kate showed me a picture of the child.” He lets out a puff of air. Even his breath smells good and minty. I scowl. “The girl looks like her, but I don’t know. I can’t tell if she looks like me. Kerstin saw the picture, too, and thinks she could, but I don’t see it. I’ve told Kate I want to take a paternity test. She raged, but finally agreed… as long as we live together.” His gaze slides to mine and holds.
And that’s why this entire thing is messed up. This chick is living with him.
He’s not a bad guy, and that makes everything so much worse. It would be easier to hate him if he were selfish and terrible, but he’s trying to do the right thing. Plus, he’s extremely hot, and if I’m being honest with myself, I’m glad he’s here.
“She doesn’t have money and says they took her daughter away because she couldn’t provide. The little girl lives with Kate’s sister and husband in Reno. Kate refuses to give me her sister’s number for some reason, but I discovered the address through a mutual friend. I’m driving up there tomorrow to hear her sister’s side of the story. I’m positive there’s something Kate’s not telling me.”
As mad as I am, I’m listening, and the one thing that keeps looping is that he called me his girlfriend at the start of this discussion. He meant it. In his mind, nothing has changed. “Why does she have to live with you?”
He shakes his head, and suddenly I notice the fine lines at the corners of his eyes. Dark circles mark the tender flesh below them. “She says she has nowhere to go. If this little girl is mine, I can’t do it, Cali. I can’t turn my back on them. That includes Kate.”
I squirm and shove him with all my strength. “Get off me, Jaeger.”
He rolls to the side. “Will you please listen?”
I sit up. “You’re living with your ex-girlfriend, you jerk!”
“It’s not like that! You know I’m not like that. I told you. I’m with you now. I want to be with you. I love you, Cali. Being away from
you kills me. The only thing that has kept me sane throughout all this is thinking about getting back to you. About making all this right so that we can move on together.”
He loves me…?
“If that’s true, why did you wait so long to call me?”
“I’ve called and texted you numerous times.” I send him a pointed glare. “I should have called the day after our date. It wasn’t intentional,” he grumbles. “Have you any idea what a massive pain in the ass my ex is? Trust me when I say I’m ready to move out. I’ve been sleeping on the couch in the shop. I stay away from the house as much as possible.”
He sits up beside me. “As soon as I figure out the girl’s paternity, Kate’s gone. I’ll pay child support, whatever I need to, if the little girl’s mine. But Cali”—his eyes are pleading—“if she is mine, I can’t abandon her. She didn’t have a choice, you know?”
I let out a deep breath. Why does he have to be such a good guy?
He leans over and rubs his nose along my jaw and kisses me below my ear. “Please don’t be mad. I mean, you have every right to be upset, but please don’t leave me over this. I haven’t meant to be an absent boyfriend. I’ve just had a lot of crazy shit going on that I’ve never had to deal with before. I love you, Cali. I love you.” He kisses and nuzzles me some more.
Oh, Jesus Christ. I want to be mad at him, but I can’t! I believe him. “I love you too, but I’m angry with you.” He wraps his arms around me and pulls me to him. “Everything’s not okay, Jaeger. You waited too long to get in touch.”
He sighs. “I did. Not intentionally. My phone ran out of juice on the trip to North Shore. I was in a hurry to get answers and forgot my charger. I didn’t bother buying another, just wanted to get back. My parents and sister were ready to wring my neck. I’m sorry, babe.” He brushes my lips with his and my mouth softens.
I can’t stay mad at him. Not when everything he says makes sense. Jaeger doesn’t give me uneasy feelings. He’s all heart.
“I missed you.” My words come out angry. “And I love you.” This time my tone is softer.
He looks in my eyes, searching, and then his mouth is on me before I can get another word out. I’m drowning and burning, a hot-cold fire spreading from my chest to my toes. I clutch him with all my strength and kiss him until we’re both gasping. Jaeger wraps my legs around his back and I arch into him.
He moans and kisses me harder. “Love you. Missed you,” he says between kisses peppered along my neck and the tops of my breasts.
He leans back and stares at my chest.
I prop up on my elbows, dazed. “What?”
“Are you wearing—a Wonderbra? Your boobs…”
My face heats. “I might have gained a few pounds. Like five,” I admit, chagrined. “I sort of ate a pint of ice cream every night this last week.”
He lifts his brow.
“Can you really tell my boobs are bigger?”
He gives me a look that says, Come on, give me some credit.
“Guys can tell these things?”
He lowers his head, pushes my top and bra down, and mumbles, “Yes,” while kissing and licking my breast.
And, wow, that feels amazing… but I’m kind of hung up on this boob thing. If they look bigger… “Do I look fat?”
Jaeger groans. “I hate that question.” He reaches around and cups my bottom, pulling me against his erection. I slip off my elbows and land on my back. “You feel incredible,” he breathes into my neck. “You smell unbelievable, and you’re beautiful and feisty. Have I convinced you how much I want you?”
I circle my hips. “Um, yes. As you were,” I say, and place his hand back on my breast.
He grins eagerly and unbuttons my shorts with his other hand.
We make good use of Gen and Tyler’s absence. After an hour of nakedness, I decide I’d better not press my luck. “We should get dressed.”
Jaeger looks up from his position at my side, one of his legs with a light dusting of brown hair thrown over both of mine. He groans. “I don’t want to go home.”
“Then stay here.”
“Really?” He props up, head in his hand, looking down at me.
God, did I just ask my boyfriend to move in? I sort of meant for him to stay for the next few hours, but I don’t think that’s how he took it. I could never let him live here without talking to Gen first. Besides, where would we sleep?
“Maybe not permanently. I have a roommate, and there’s not much space with my brother around. But you could crash on the couch for a couple of days if you really don’t want to live with Kate.”
The offer is purely selfish. The last thing I want is my boyfriend living with his ex.
“Are you sure? Because if you are, I’ll take you up on it. I was already thinking of moving back in with my parents until I work things out, but this is much better.” He kisses my nipple.
“Jaeger! We can’t do this with my brother and Gen around.”
“I know, feisty.” He grins. “But while they’re gone, naked time is in full effect.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
“Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?” My legs are crossed at the ankle over Jaeger’s lap on the couch in the living room. He spent the night, and we were perfect angels while Gen and Tyler were around. Probably because we’d taken care of our pent-up sexual needs before they returned.
“You’ve got work, and I probably should drive up to Kate’s sister’s on my own.” Jaeger rubs his forehead and runs his fingers through his hair. He lets out a breath, the fine lines around his eyes deeper than ever. He doesn’t seem convinced.
“You’re worried you might meet your daughter and you want to keep things simple,” I say, guessing what he must be thinking.
He sucks in air through his nose and closes his eyes. “If I have one, yes. I’d bet anything, though, she isn’t mine. If she is… I’ll do what I have to, but Kate’s a liar. I haven’t figured out why she’d lie about this, but she must be. We were—careful—or I was.”
I hate thinking about Jaeger with another woman. “No need to elaborate.”
He pulls me to his chest and rubs his lips along my hairline. “I should be back by the time you get off work. See you then?” I nod and he kisses me on the head, then wraps his arms around my waist in a lung-crushing squeeze.
I love his hugs. I could stay in his embrace for the rest of the day without food or water and be perfectly content breathing in his scent for sustenance.
And that’s what I have to hold me over for the rest of the day while I’m at work, the memory of being held by Jaeger and knowing I was so blissfully wrong, thank God. I mean, Kate’s still a problem, but she’s not as big of a problem as I thought. As long as Jaeger and I are together, everything will be okay.
That doesn’t stop me from worrying entirely. If Jaeger has a daughter, what does it mean for him? For us? I like kids, but I’ve spent next to no time with them.
I didn’t expect to need a working knowledge of children until I had my own—a loooong way off. What if Jaeger realizes I’m no good with children? Then what?
“Cali?” Architect Bill jars me from my bout of anxiety. I’m supposed to be working on a new design for the company’s business cards, but instead I’m staring off into space. “Do you have time to make an artist’s rendition of the Lakeshore property? We think it will help with the planning council.”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Great, I’ll send the principal your way. John’s son. Have you two met? Nice kid.”
Several of the guys that come through the office are on the younger side, but they spend most of their time on job sites. Sallee Construction is located in a nice office building, but space is limited. Most employees don’t have offices. My own desk is in the copy room. Kind of pitiful, but I don’t mind. The way I see it, it gives me more time to chat with the receptionist, who’s really sweet and always coming in to make copies for John and the others.
A little while later, I
’m trying to recall whether any of the guys I’ve met could be John’s son, when a knock sounds at my door.
I carefully finish the line I’m working on for the business card mock-up, and turn around. My head notches back in shock. “You?”
The word is out before I can stop it, but what the hell?
Lewis’s brow furrows. “Gen’s friend,” he says, as if confirming the obvious. After a pause, he seems to gather himself and takes a step inside. “I’ve worked in the field the last several days. I didn’t realize you were the artist my father hired.”
Lewis is Mr. Sallee’s son? It makes some sense with the connection to Nessa. Nessa’s how Gen met Lewis.
After a long hesitation, in which I attempt to process the fact that I now work with Lewis, I gesture to the one chair in my office.
He takes a seat, looking like an adult in a toddler’s chair and consuming the room’s limited breathing space. Lewis isn’t as bulky as Jaeger, but he’s athletically built and just as tall.
“How’s Genevieve?”
The hair on the back of my neck prickles. Most people don’t even know Genevieve is Gen’s full name—and it makes me nervous that this guy does. “Good,” I answer warily.
Lewis is tall, with dark hair and tanned skin like his father, though his face is free of laugh lines—probably because the guy never smiles. Add high cheekbones and a strong, proud chin, and what’s not to like? But no way in hell am I throwing my BF back into the fire with a cheater, and last I checked, Lewis was in some complicated relationship with Mira.
If I’ve learned anything though this summer, it’s that Gen doesn’t need me to fight her battles. She’s done just fine on her own. I should keep my mouth shut.
I relax my shoulders and tell myself to simmer down.
Lewis pulls two reduced architectural CAD drawings from a file in his hand. He explains the general aesthetic of the Lakeshore building and shows me the landscape plan. The final product will be a multilevel Swiss lodge with a modern bent and eco-friendly plants.
Off Limits Page 19