Ethan looked me deep in the eyes, seeing the hopelessness behind them, before reaching for his gun. He pointed it at his head, but I managed to whack it away before he could pull the trigger.
“Let me do it! I don’t want to be one of those things!” he boomed, reaching for his weapon again. I threw it out of range, and the rifle clattered to the floor, skidding away from us.
“You might be immune too! Just wait!” I said desperately, trying to hold him in place.
We both knew it was a long shot, especially considering the state of his wound, but Ethan listened, eventually slumping against the booth seat. In the end, no one really wanted to die. Fighters would keep fighting until the bitter and bloody end.
Both Rose and Lucas cast me a sympathetic look. Why were they looking at me like that? Ethan was the one who was dying! Then they both took off to ensure the infected couldn’t breach the restaurant for the moment, giving Ethan and I some privacy. Infected banged and clamored against the windows but we paid them no mind.
I didn’t think it was possible to physically see the moment someone’s heart broke, but when Ethan whispered Chloe’s name, there was no denying it. Ethan grabbed me by the arms, a wild look in his eyes.
“Please take care of Chloe!”
I laid a hand on his. “I’ll protect her with my life.”
He slumped back down, tears streaming down his face. “I won’t even get to say goodbye.”
“I’ll tell her whatever you want me to,” I whispered.
“Tell her I love her and to not be sad,” he said with a faraway look, like he was imagining telling her himself. “Tell her to be strong for the both of us—and to listen to you.”
My eyes teared up. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. I had gotten Chloe back to her brother only to have him die. It wasn’t fair. Ethan just had to play hero. He would have been okay if it wasn’t for me. Chloe would still have a brother if it wasn’t for me. Guilt weighed my heart down. This is all my fault. I should have never let him come out here in the first place while he was still recovering from his concussion. Chloe would hate me for this. I’d broken my promise to keep her brother safe.
Ethan snapped out of his trance. He looked at me, then pulled me in for a hug, sliding out of the booth. We sat there on the ground, holding each other, trying to hold back the hysterics.
“I’m so sorry, Bailey. I know you said you didn’t want to hear it but please listen.”
I nodded into the crook of his neck. He was right. The last thing I wanted from him on his deathbed was an apology—I should be the one apologizing—but if it made him feel any better, then I would listen.
“You have no idea how much I regret tellin’ Wyatt about you. And when we found out they had sold you off…” He paused to swallow. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt so low.”
“It’s okay. I forgive you, Ethan,” I said, trying to contain my sobs. “Do you forgive me?”
He pulled back and held me at arm’s length. “For what?”
“For this. You wouldn’t have been bitten if it wasn’t for me.” My voice broke at the end. I’m to blame. He got bit saving me. And I’m the immune one.
“This isn’t your fault, Bailey. I wanted to help you. That was my choice.”
I didn’t say anything. Ethan wrapped me in a big hug again as if willing me to listen to his words. My mind drifted toward us. I wondered that if the world hadn’t gone to shit and if I’d met Ethan during my time in Louisiana, if we would have even said a word to one another. I was no fool. Our relationship was more of a result of circumstance than of true love. I didn’t believe in that nonsense. But that didn’t mean that he meant nothing to me. My eyes clouded with tears again and I let out a sob so he hugged me tighter.
His body was a furnace. Our grip started to slip as Ethan slumped to the ground. His breathing was ragged and harsh. I helped him down to a lying position and took his hand in mine. I briefly heard footsteps behind me, but they quickly disappeared.
“Promise me you won’t let me end up like them.” He refused to say the word “infected” but I knew what he meant.
“I won’t.” He squeezed my hand as he let out a wet sounding cough.
“Promise me you’ll take care of yourself.”
More tears fell from my eyes. “I will.”
“Promise you’ll love Chloe like your own sister.”
“I already do.”
He closed his eyes, his face pinched. “It feels like I’m burnin’ from the inside out.”
“Do you want me to find you some water?” We were in a restaurant. There had to be bottled water around here somewhere.
“No! Just stay with me.”
I wiped away the hair matted to his sweaty forehead. He didn’t look like he would last much longer. He was suffering. As if reading my thoughts, he let out a loud cough, blood starting to dribble down his chin. Shivers traveled up his body, shaking my hand along with his. But he never let go. He took a couple of deep, grasping breaths, then let out a long whistle of air. His chest never rose again, and the grip on my hand finally loosened until his hand fell away completely.
I stared at his dead body. No, no, no. He couldn’t be dead. I started to shake his torso.
“Ethan, please wake up,” I cried.
He will wake up, my unsympathetic brain reminded me. He just wouldn’t be Ethan anymore. A hand touch my shoulder—I shook it off.
“He’s gone,” Rose said lightly. She was standing behind me.
“No,” I mumbled, my eyes still glued to Ethan.
“We gotta take care of him before he turns,” Lucas said.
I heard a smack. “Fuck you. Give her a minute,” Rose hissed.
Had Rose not just gone through this with Leo, I’m not sure she’d be so understanding. As it were, I did need a minute for my brain to come to terms with Ethan actually being gone. He was lying right in front of me and I couldn’t wrap my head around it being real. Maybe it was a prank. A terrible one. Don’t be stupid. He’s dead.
I wiped at the new tears streaking down my face. My fingers curled around the butt of my Beretta and I pulled it from my waistband, flicking off the safety. Another hand touched my shoulder.
“You don’t have to be the one to do it,” Rose said.
“Yes I do.” This was my punishment to bear.
I pointed the gun at Ethan’s head and whispered, “I’m so sorry, Ethan. I hope wherever you are, that you’re at peace.” I wiped at my running nose with my free arm. “And thank you—for everything.”
I pulled the trigger.
Chapter 33
To say I was numb was an understatement. We were barreling through the streets of South Baton Rouge with Ethan’s dead body tied up in tablecloths in the bed of the truck. I was simply dead inside. I had refused to leave him in the restaurant to be eaten by the infected. This was the only way. I must have looked crazy because neither Rose nor Lucas argued with me. Instead, they helped me scrounge up some table clothes to tie together and wrap Ethan in.
We had a hell of a time clearing the infected, but we eventually got them to rally to the side of the restaurant while we made a run for the truck with Ethan’s body. I shot the infected without feeling. I couldn’t even register fear as all the infected surrounded the truck. Lucas managed to get us out of there without too many dents, but the whole time I just stared blankly out the window.
Find Zoe. Don’t think about Ethan. Find Zoe. Don’t think about Ethan. This was my new mantra. If I expected to make it through what we were going to face soon, I needed to keep repeating it to myself.
Lucas had given the map to Rose to read and she was currently telling him where to go. She was good at that. We were heading west toward the river. Street signs passed us by, but I wasn’t paying attention. Soon Lucas was slowing down the truck; I could see the reflection of dark water in the far distance. We were on the edge of a massive parking lot that was close to one-thirds full, all cars nestled in their painted parking stalls. I
f anyone dared a glance, we looked like just another vehicle parked among the others. It was good camouflage.
“You goin’ to be okay to do this?” Lucas asked.
The way he said it sounded like he was accusing me of something. We were there because I insisted on going after Zoe so I needed to nut up. I took a shaky breath, Rose and Lucas eying me warily. I hadn’t said a word to them since I had them help me wrap up Ethan. Now wasn’t the time to check out. I could do that after, even if all my body wanted to do was lie down at the moment. It seemed all I was doing lately was pushing my mental breakdowns to the side.
“Yes,” I answered.
They didn’t look convinced.
“Shawn ain’t goin’ to be as pleasant as the guys at the hotel.”
That was his version of pleasant?
“I said I’ll be fine,” I snapped. He didn’t say anything more.
I filled up the magazines to both my guns using what little ammo I had left over—it wasn’t enough to fill them. Lucas and Rose did the same. We had used a fair number of bullets killing all the infected after leaving the hotel. I looked around the area Lucas had parked us in. There was an enormous casino and hotel in the middle of a roundabout road, and a parking lot fit for a stadium.
“You think this is it?” I asked. There didn’t appear to be any people near the casino.
Lucas extended his arm, his index finger pointing into the distance. “See that giant black SUV?”
I squinted until I spotted the vehicle. It was just a small speck on the asphalt horizon, off to the side of the casino. I had no idea how Lucas had spotted it. It looked like it was in the middle of the road blocking the throughway.
“That’s one of the lookouts. They usually have one when deals like this go down. Most guys don’t play fair. Chances are, they’re in the buildin’ closer to the river.”
I could barely spot the building Lucas was referring to.
“Think he can see us?” Rose asked.
“He would’ve taken off by now or warned ‘em if he did. Probably sleepin’ on the job,” Lucas said. “We’re goin’ to have to sneak up on ‘im. No firearms.”
I gripped the hilt of my metal bat more than willing to go Babe Ruth on their asses. We filed out of the truck, closing the doors softly behind us. I didn’t dare a look at Ethan’s covered corpse in the back, in fact, I specifically avoided looking past the cab of the truck.
In a single line formation, we followed Lucas as we made our way to the large SUV, using the random cars in the parking lot for cover. The numbness slowly trickled away, replaced with the familiar rush of adrenaline. It took forever as we zig-zagged through the casino’s surprisingly full parking lot. All the vehicles were empty. Just how many people had decided to come to the casino instead of an emergency shelter? Some addicts were just hopeless.
We got to the last car in the parking lot, bringing an end to our cover. The SUV was still parked in the middle of the road. Behind it was the Mississippi River, glinting in the late afternoon sun, and a waterfront bar and grill. There were more cars parked outside the bar, but they weren’t inside the designated stalls, instead haphazardly parked at all angles. Had to be the mercenaries.
A couple of infected were sniffing around the large, blacked-out SUV. Whoever was inside didn’t seemed too concerned with a couple.
“I’m gonna try and sneak up on ‘im. You two wait here till I’m done,” Lucas said.
Before we could argue, he took off in an awkward crouching/running position across the rest of the distance—he looked like a monkey. I just hoped the infected were enough of a distraction. I dared a glance through the windows of the car we were hiding beside to see Lucas pull open the driver’s door. The two infected that had been sniffing around previously were now lying dead on the ground. He stuck his head in, then shut the door and came crouching/running back to us.
“He was already dead. Someone slit his throat,” Lucas said when he returned.
“What the hell?” Rose asked.
Lucas shrugged his shoulders. “No clue, but I could definitely hear noise comin’ from the bar and grill. Sounds like they’re havin’ themselves a party.”
Find Zoe. Don’t think about Ethan. This was one party I would be happy to crash.
“We’re gonna approach from the side.” Lucas motioned to the left of the bar and grill. “And scope out the perimeter before we make a move.”
Lucas led the way again. We crossed the roundabout road before we came to the side of the building. There were two men talking and laughing outside the front door. I crinkled my nose; I smelled the cigarettes even though I couldn’t see them. One would think that the apocalypse would be the ultimate time to quit, seeing as you had to risk your life to find a pack of smokes. I guess smoking was risking your life too, so whatever, wouldn’t ever be my problem.
The men had been too engrossed in discussing whatever they had been to notice us sneak up to the building. I gave Lucas a ‘what now’ look. He leaned in close and waited until Rose did the same before whispering, “We need to secure the perimeter. Rose, you stay here and keep an eye on this side. Bailey and I will continue to the other sides.”
Rose nodded and squished herself against the side of the building, slowly daring to glance into the giant windows. Lucas and I kept going until we reached the back side of the building. My eyes were immediately drawn to the river. It had been a while since I’d seen such a big body of water. It was a relaxing sight with the water sparkling in the sunlight and the gentle movement making the sparkles look like they were winking.
Lucas didn’t wait for me to finish my admiring as he disappeared around the next corner to check out the north side of the building. I tore my eyes from the river to the back side of the building. I had to stand on my tiptoes to even reach the windows. They were giant to allow the patrons inside to view the river. Footsteps crunched behind me. I whirled around expecting to see Lucas or Rose, but instead I found a strange man. We both froze as we regarded one another. He must’ve come from the direction of the river because we hadn’t spotted him two seconds ago.
He didn’t sound an alarm or start yelling—he held a finger up to his lips. His eyes were wide with fright. I had a distinct feeling that he wasn’t a mercenary. He cautiously approached me with his arms slightly in the air to indicate he didn’t mean any harm. I still didn’t lower my bat. He had a pleasant face. It reminded me of Ethan. My heart clenched at the comparison.
“What are you doin’ here?!” he asked accusingly.
“Me? What are you doing here? Are you a mercenary?” My hand itched to pull out my Beretta, but I didn’t want to make any sudden movements.
“I’m not one of those animals,” he scowled. “We’re here to shut ‘em down.”
I was now completely confused. That’s what we were here for. “What?” was all I could get out.
“My team and I are here to take those men out,” he said.
I spotted more movement along the river, this time from walking bodies, not the water.
“You trying to take out the other gang as well?” I asked.
The man smiled. “We are the gang.” He used finger quotes for the word gang.
At my confused look, he continued. “We pretended to be a gang to get in with the mercenaries. We needed to gain their trust so they’d tell us where they were takin’ the kidnapped girls and the immune. Our leader is in there right now pretendin’ to be tradin’ a couple of girls for peace.”
“You were the guys who took out their other compound,” I said.
The guy nodded. “We went to the hospital where they were shippin’ off the immune they grabbed, but it was lost to the infected.”
“I may have had a hand in that,” I said.
The guy regarded me completely different now. “Why are you here?” he asked again. He was growing impatient with having to explain all this to me.
“They took my friend and we came to get her back.”
“She one of the gi
rl’s inside?”
“Possibly. I haven’t gotten a chance to check. Been here chatting with you.”
The guy gave me a droll look. “She’ll be fine. Once that scumbag Shawn hands her over, we’ll get her outta harm’s way.”
I had zero reason to trust this guy, but for some reason I did. He seemed so sincere. It only seemed logical that if there were bad people, there were a couple good ones out there as well.
“I’m Bailey, by the way.” I lowered my bat and held out a hand.
He took it and shook. “Mercer.”
“So why are you out here, Mercer. Not in there?” I hefted a thumb at the bar.
“We’re the cavalry in case somethin’ goes south. One guy on the inside has a walkie. If we get one distress call, we storm the place.”
“You the ones who killed their lookout?” I asked.
“Had no choice. Can’t afford for our cover to get—”
He was cut off by someone inside yelling, “Ambush!” then gunfire erupted.
Oh God, Lucas and Rose.
“Shit!” Mercer yelled.
He waved his arm toward the river and more bodies emerged. I tensed until I spotted a few women mixed among the armed men. Clearly, they wouldn’t be with the mercenaries. They stormed up to the building. Mercer grabbed my elbow and steered me further away from the building. One of his men pulled out a rather scary looking gun and pulled the trigger, the bullet shattering the giant glass windows. The shards rained down on the spot Mercer had just pulled me from. These guys were a lot more organized than we were.
This Would Be Paradise (Book 3) Page 23