by Kyle Autumn
“He’s had a rough day, and disappointing you has made it even worse,” he tells me, reaching for a new tissue.
I take another one from the box and hand it to him.
He wipes his nose with the tissue. “I think that’s what’s eatin’ him up the most at this point now. Knowin’ that he let her get inside his head and mess the day up for you. He can reconcile what she admitted, but he won’t forgive himself for hurting you.”
“I can only imagine what she said to him this time,” I utter, fury over her hold on him boiling in my veins.
“He told you about before, then?” he asks. After another cough into his tissue, he says, “Well, this is the end of it. I’m certain. So help my boy heal and move on, will ya?”
“I plan on it if he’ll let me,” I assure him, covering our hands with my free one.
“Oh, he won’t,” he stresses before chuckling. “So you have to make him. I think he’ll listen to you. You have what no one else he’s met has.”
My brow furrows as I wonder what he’s talking about. “What do I have?” I ask.
A slow smile builds on his face. “Strings,” he says, and my heart skips a beat. “Strings he wants but isn’t sure how to ask for. He’s a stubborn one, that boy.”
We both break out into laughter. That much is very true.
“We both are though,” I admit, feeling like I can talk to this man about anything. “Because I want those strings, but I want to be me too.”
“Ah, yes. He told me about that.” He squeezes my hand in a tight grip. Tighter than I thought he was capable of. “But you can do both, you see. It takes time to figure it out, but you can have both with him. He won’t let you lose yourself.”
This time, his wink seals the conversation and sinks into my soul. The depth of truth in his words rings out in a way that feels real and right. As long as we communicate and tell the truth, we work. As long as we’re honest and open, we work. It’s when we start lying to each other—or ourselves—that we go wrong and everything goes off the rails.
Matthew won’t let me lose myself. He’s always given me space to be me. He’s never complained about my schedule, how much I work, or that I’m too busy. In fact, he’s admired how dedicated I am to what I do. And I’ve made time for him when I can. In the cracks of my life. If he’s okay with that, then I think his grandfather is right.
But there’s one more thing I need to do while I have him alone. “Hey, can I ask you something?”
“Well,” he says, gesturing a hand around the room, “it’s not like I can stop ya.” After another wink, he grins. “Go for it. What’s on your mind?”
I smile at his antics, but then I get serious. “That teal and amber glass. You make that?”
His grin slides from his face, but he schools it back before too long. It takes him a moment to answer me though. “Used to. Why do you ask?”
Fidgeting my free hand in my lap, I avoid his gaze until I start to speak. “I kind of broke one at Matthew’s place. I was hoping to replace it.”
“Ahh,” he says slowly. Then he raises a single finger. “I can take care of that.”
I release a sigh of relief. “I’m so glad. Thank you!”
“That’s a pretty smile you got there,” his grandpa says. “I think my boy out there is anxious to see it again.”
Before I get up, I give his hand a squeeze. “Thanks.”
“Any time,” he says. Then he gives me one more wink.
∞∞∞
Matt
“God, that was painful,” I say under my breath as I reenter the room and make my way back to the far side of my grandpa’s bed.
Cadence takes her seat again and laughs me off. “It was wonderful, actually. Your grandfather is an amazing man.”
“Truer words have never been spoken, my dear,” he says from his bed, a smartass smirk on his face.
It warms my heart to see them getting along so well, but I also want to know what the hell he needed to say without me in the room.
“Don’t even try it. I’m not gonna tell ya.” He sits up a little, and Cadence helps him with putting pillows behind him. “Thanks, sweetheart,” he says to her. Then he looks at me again. “Now, son, we need to have a conversation.”
Cadence starts to rise from her seat, assuming that this is another “alone” conversation he wants to have. But he stops her, tugging on her hand for her to sit back down.
“No, dear.” He pulls her hand closer to him. “You should be here for this one.”
She gives me a wary smile and then a shrug, indicating that she doesn’t know what this is about. And I don’t, either, so I’m a little worried too. He’s not known for always being appropriate.
My grandpa clears his throat. “Matty. Do you remember when you told me about Cadence? That very first time about a year ago?”
I gulp and flick my gaze to her. She’s pursing her lips to hide her grin, because whatever’s coming is about to be embarrassing as all hell and today is not the day for this.
“Grandpa, maybe we should talk about this later.”
“Nonsense,” he insists. “I want this young lady to know how starry-eyed you were when you walked into my room that day and announced that you’d met someone.”
I’m not sure how many shades of red a person can turn, but I am sure that I’m turning all of them consecutively. “Seriously? We’re doing this now? You just met her.”
“I know, son, which is a shame,” he says. “It’s been far too long, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, well…” I shake my head, unsure of what else to say.
“Yep. It’s been far, far too long, son,” he repeats. Then he pins me with his gaze. “Far too long since you been lyin’ to me.”
My eyebrows fly to the top of my forehead, and my eyes go very, very wide. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” He coughs and then wipes his mouth with his tissue. “You two actually met the day you came in here and told me you were taking her to this wedding. What did we both say?” He raises an eyebrow at me. “You can’t get anything past me, son. I know all.”
My heart pounds in my chest as I hang my head and try to think of what to say to him. A thousand questions fly through my brain. Why didn’t he tell me he knew? How long has he known? Why did he let me go on with the charade? But none of them stick long enough to ask. Mostly because it’s already been a long fucking day. This is just the icing on the cake.
“You knew the whole time?” Cadence asks for me, awe in her voice.
“Of course I knew,” he says simply. “Matty here was just doin’ what he thought he needed to to make me happy.” He pats his chest where his heart is, facing me. Then he turns back to Cadence. “But I’m glad you really did meet. And I’m glad you know all about this too. This coulda gotten real awkward right about now.”
There’s nothing left to do but laugh at this point. All three of us dissolve into easy laughter, and then it hits me. I want more of this. More nights with her. More laughter and fun with my grandpa. More peaceful, light moments in my life. And I can’t have that if I’m spending all of my energy trying not to be in a relationship. This is how to achieve those moments.
By being with her.
So I pray with everything I have that I didn’t screw it all up. That I didn’t let the past ruin the amazing future I can have with her. That my grandpa didn’t tell her some stupid-ass story that’ll make her run for the hills as soon as we leave his room.
“Sorry,” I tell him when we all settle back into the moment. “I think we’re all on the same page now. No more lies.”
“Only the truth,” he says to me before looking at Cadence.
She squeezes his hand and then reaches for mine across the bed. As soon as I take it, my heart feels complete. With her hand in mine, I can see a future full of time with her. Time spent running with her. Time at the gym with her. Time during lunch breaks, and time for dinner together. Time spent here with my grandpa, and time having meals with he
r family.
So much time. We’ll make the time. The time for us and the time for ourselves. So we can both grow and heal—together.
Once we’ve all joined hands, she says, “No more lies. Only the truth.” With her gaze fully on mine, she speaks for both of us. “Strings fully attached—from here on out.”
I still need to explain this morning and be honest with her about that, but she’ll hear me. And that’s more than I can ask for at this moment. We’ll figure it out from here, and I’m so thankful for the chance.
My grandpa breaks the moment by letting our hands go and shooing us out of the room. “Okay, you crazy kids. It’s past my bedtime. You get on outta here and come back to see me sometime when the sun is actually out, okay?”
We both laugh, but I don’t let her hand go. I hold on to her the whole time I come around the end of his bed, switching hands when I have to. When I’m next to her, I put an arm around her middle and wave goodbye to my grandpa.
“I’ll be back soon,” I tell him.
“I know ya will,” he says back, waving goodbye. “But, for now, you could ask Randi if I can have some more of that green Jell-O.”
There’s never a dull moment with this guy. And I chuckle as I pull Cadence out the door with me. But she stops me before we’re halfway down the hall by tugging on my hand.
“Are you gonna tell me what happened today?” she asks, how serious she is shining in her eyes.
I lick my lips, my mouth suddenly going dry. But I tell her the truth. “Yeah. And it’s going to take some time for me to…work through it, I guess. Can we go home first though?”
Her lips start to twitch upward. “Whose home?”
Now, I’m the one tugging on her hand, hauling her close to me. “As long as we’re together, I don’t care whose place we end up at.”
Her smile lights me up inside and her green eyes sparkle at me, so I kiss her nose.
In my arms, she asks, “You’re okay? Really okay?”
To be honest with her, I shake my head. “Not really. But I will be. With you, I will be.” Unable to resist, I press my lips to hers, and she opens up for me so our tongues can slide together for a moment. Then I kiss her forehead. “What about you? You’re missing your sister’s wedding.”
“She’s the one who told me to go, actually.” Then her bottom lip pulls down on one side. “My mom and my sister know about you—that you’re not Brian. And get this.” She cocks her head to the side. “My mom knew I was lying just like your grandfather knew about you.”
I chuckle at that. “Apparently, we should just tell the truth from now on.”
“And focus on the present moment, no matter what that includes,” she finishes for me.
“Sounds good to me,” I tell her.
And then we walk out of the building, giving Randi a wave as we make our way home. Together.
Epilogue
Cadence
“What are you doing?” he grumbles, sleepiness making his amused tone gruff.
I pop my head up from my spot between his legs, bunching the sheet around the back of my neck. “Are you about to complain that I’m waking you up this way?”
He leans up on his elbows, his hair mussed from his pillow and looking sexy as hell—which is why I am where I am right now. “Complain is not the right word. At all.” Those dimples nearly knock me on my ass.
“I didn’t think so.” With his erection in my hand, I take him into my mouth, all the way to the back of my throat.
His head falls back as a guttural moan leaves his mouth.
Then I hollow out my cheeks as I release him. “I found something sweet in your fridge this morning,” I explain before licking up his length. “My toast wasn’t plain for once here.” I swirl my tongue around his tip, keeping eye contact with him as I speak. “And I have you to thank for that.”
He cocks his head to the side. “If I’d known that this would be your thank-you, I would have bought that blasphemous grape shit a long time ago.”
“Only took you three months to buy it for me.” I let him go and crawl up his gloriously naked body to kiss his lips.
He lifts my T-shirt—actually, it’s one of his—over my head so we’re skin to skin. “And it only took you one to find our perfect house,” he whispers against my lips, holding on to my waist.
“Matthew. It’s kinda what I do,” I say, leaning in to touch my nose to his.
“You’re the only one who calls me that,” he tells me, his breath fanning over my mouth. “I love that.” He captures my lips with his, so I part my mouth to let his tongue in.
They glide together as we kiss, and I run my fingers through his hair, which elicits one of his sexy groans.
“I can’t believe we’re moving in tomorrow.” He cups my cheeks and then runs his hands down my shoulders.
I freeze, hoping I’m reading too far into his words. “Are you still sure you want to? My place hasn’t sold yet, so—”
He cuts me off with another deep, soul-tingling kiss. “Stop. Seriously, I’m okay. Totally in, just like I said yesterday and the day before that and the day before that…” As he trails off, he stares me in the eyes and brushes some hair behind my ear. “I love you.”
“I love you too. I just want to make sure you’re okay,” I tell him, resting my bottom on his legs. “Commitment doesn’t come easy for us, and I know I’m all in, but you…” I take a deep breath. “It’s only been a few months and I’m not trying to rush you.”
He rises so we’re face-to-face again while sitting up. “I know. And I appreciate that. But we’ve talked about this.” His lips touch my nose. “You’re not her. What she did is in the past. I’m moving on with my life.” One of his hands brushes my bangs out of my face. “With you.”
I can’t contain my smile. Knowing that he’s putting Joyce’s horrible choices behind him and starting a life with me is everything. It’s been a hard few months with him learning how to trust all over again, but he says that I’ve helped him tremendously. That already having me in his life, showing him that love is possible again, made all the difference when she dropped the final bomb on him.
And we’ve talked about other ways to react when shit hits the fan. No more dropping off the face of the Earth and applying a Band-Aid made of beer. We’re here for each other, being open and honest—the only way it works between us.
While I’m ecstatic that he’s not thinking about running for the hills, I can’t stay like this with him all day. So I sigh and roll off him.
“Hey!” He reaches out to try to catch me, but he’s still half-asleep and too slow. “Where are you going?”
As I shimmy my underwear on, I flash a duh gaze over my shoulder. “Don’t tell me you forgot.”
He throws his own duh gaze right back at me. “You think that disgusting grape jelly was in my refrigerator this morning by accident?”
I grin as I go back to getting dressed. “Then you know exactly where I’m going. You know where to be and when?”
“That I do,” he says, passing by me to go into the bathroom, swatting my ass on the way in. Once he’s turned the shower on, he pops back out, leans in for a kiss, and whispers, “Good luck. You’re gonna do great. I’ll see you at the finish line.” Then he opens the shower door and steps under the spray.
Smiling, I finish putting my gear on for my run. My marathon run. The thing I’ve trained so hard for these past several months. The thing Matthew has trained with me for too. We’ve spent evenings in the gym together, weekends finding trails to run long distances, and mornings sprinting for conditioning. He was there for me, encouraging me, every step of the way. And that’s one of the many things I love about him.
Our strings are attached, but I’m still in control of many of them. Just as he is. We’re partners and equals. We make time for ourselves, but we make time for each other too. We’re busy as hell, but in the end, it works.
And tomorrow will make it even easier. One house. One home to choose from to go to at
the end of the night. One place that is ours together. More strings. More chances to be honest. Just the way we like it.
∞∞∞
Matt
The moment she crosses the finish line, tears of joy burst from her eyes. Even I find my eyes a little misty as her mother and her sister wrap her up in a big group hug. She’s worked so hard to accomplish something so important to her, and the pride I feel in my heart is nearly overwhelming,
It’s been amazing to watch her progress over the last few months. While I’ve had my battles to fight, she has too. She may have thought she was helping to save me, but she was saving herself in the process.
So much of her internal fight was due to not being true to herself. And she was so worried that, by choosing to start a new relationship, she’d be untrue to who she is: an independent woman who felt the need to prove herself. But I think she’s realizing that she doesn’t need a majorly successful job or a marathon under her belt to prove how incredible she is.
She helped plan her sister’s wedding. She’s always there for her mother when she needs her. And, now, she’s there for me. Those things are important too—not just what she achieves in work or by pushing her body.
Her mother and her sister unwind from the sweaty embrace and then say their goodbyes to Cadence. She waves as they head back to their cars, her smile as wide as the ocean. When I get my turn with my girlfriend and wrap my arms around her, she shakes with her sobs. So I rub her back and praise her against her ear.
“You did so good, baby. I’m so, so proud of you. You’re amazing,” I tell her. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” She quakes even harder. “I can’t believe I did that.” A forceful laugh bubbles up her throat, as if she’s amazed at herself that she accomplished that feat.
I’m not. I always knew she had it in her. I could tell from the moment she went home with me even though she was drunk. Cadence Griffith gets what she wants when she sets her mind to it.
And boy am I glad she set her mind to me.