by Alexa Davis
“You smell good,” I murmured into her locks. “Like coconut and lemons.”
“That’ll be the shampoo.” She was trying to act unbothered by me, but I could practically feel her skin prickling beneath my touch. That sizzling chemistry was a two-way street between us. “I use it to attract losers like you.”
With that I spun her around and pulled her in for a powerful kiss. I snaked my tongue between her lips and pressed her back up against the counter. I liked the way Blair felt in my arms, petite, delicate, sweet.
“Yeah, well, you have this loser well and truly hooked.”
“I think your phone is ringing...”
I stepped back and grabbed it, praying desperately that it wasn’t Cameron. I didn’t think we had any plans, but I’d been wrong before. I couldn’t lie to him about my whereabouts, especially as he was probably at my place, wondering why I wasn’t there.
Oh, God, it was worse. It was my dad.
I swiped to shut the call down, not even bothering to let it ring out this time.
“Who’s that?” It was only when Blair spoke again that I remembered where I was. I tried my best to unfurl the snarl on my lips and straighten out my eyebrows. I didn’t want Blair to know how mad my dad made me. It just wasn’t a conversation for now.
“Oh, no one,” I ended up replying evasively, shrugging my shoulders as if it didn’t matter.
“Your ex?”
I hadn’t realized that Cameron had told Blair about his insane theories! I needed to shut this down right away. “No, there is no ex. Cam has it in his head that I’m heartbroken, which is the easiest excuse I can get on board with when it comes to why I don’t want to hook up with lots of women.”
“Oh, right.” Her expression went from one of glee to hurt as she realized I still wasn’t about to open up to her. I at least needed to try.
“It was my dad... I just don’t want to talk to him.” My voice was stiff, my body language like a board. I hated opening up, even just this tiny bit, but I wanted Blair to know how serious I was. I wanted her to know that I was doing my best.
“Oh, okay.”
She handed me a plate of food and sat down opposite me, refusing to ask me any further. I was grateful; it showed that she understood how hard this was for me. She just seemed to get me in a way no one else ever did. A sense of misunderstanding had always shadowed over my life, I never quite felt like I didn’t fit in anywhere, but here with Blair, I did.
“Do you have work today?” A change of subject seemed like the safest thing for us, even if I knew she wasn’t working. She had plans for her dad’s birthday. “And have you had any more ideas about photographs you want to shoot?”
“Oh, tons.” She smiled happily. “And I’ll get to it. But for now, I just want to enjoy the calm before the storm. It’s my father’s birthday dinner tonight, I don’t know if you heard that before. I need to get some awesome gifts for him so that when I break the news to Cameron, I have something to make the evening more pleasant.”
We both laughed, but there was a knowledge there that she was right. Everything could be about to shift in the worst way possible. I hoped it didn’t go down like that, but we needed to gear ourselves up just in case.
“At least once Cameron knows, all will be good...” I trailed off as I realized she didn’t look as pleased as I thought she would. “What?”
“Well, it’s Maddie, too. I think she assumed she had a shot with you, and I don’t want her to hate me.”
I nodded slowly, remembering how much Maddie had made her feelings for me clear. I had done my best to let her down easy, but female friendships seemed to be tight, yet fragile. Something like this could utterly tear them apart. I could almost see a massive fight breaking out in front of my very eyes.
“So, yeah, that one isn’t going to be fun.” Blair smiled thinly. “But one problem at a time, hey!”
“I’m sorry you have to tell all these people.” I took her hands in mine and gave her what I hoped was a reassuring look. “Let me know whatever I can do. I want this to be as easy on you as possible.”
“No, it’s fine. It’s my responsibility. I can do it. Don’t you worry about a thing.”
I wondered if Blair was always this way, taking too much on. She had a kind soul, one that seemed very willing to open herself up to the emotions of others. It was sweet to see, but I couldn’t help but worry. What if this all became too intense for her and she gave up on us before we had a chance to get started? I really wasn’t prepared to lose the best thing that had ever happened to me because of everyone else. I would have to continue fighting, however hard it got.
Chapter 24 – Blair – Sunday
“Okay,” I muttered to myself as I flicked my eyes over the room. “Do I have everything?” I had the cashmere sweater for Dad from me and a lovely-looking vinyl record as a present from Cameron, all wrapped up and ready to go. I was dressed, I had my purse... I should have felt ready, but I didn’t. “Am I prepared?”
I was doing my best to work my way up to telling Cameron everything like I’d promised Marcus I would. I wanted to after the debacle this morning, but terror bulldozed through my body at the mere idea of saying those words. “Cameron, I’m dating Marcus. I really like him. I know he’s your friend, and that he’s some important English person, but I really adore him.”
Nope, it was not going to go well. I could almost see a vision of the argument in front of my very eyes. I would have to make sure it didn’t happen in front of our dad; the last thing I wanted was to wreck his birthday.
The sound of a car horn told me Cameron was outside waiting for me. I didn’t have any more time to prepare. I had to go now whether I was ready for it or not. I grabbed the gifts, rubbed my hair down, took in a deep breath, and made my way down the stairs. My chest ached with fear, and I had to keep gulping, but somehow, I hoped that it’d all be worth it.
“Come on!” Cam yelled the second he saw me coming out the door. “We have to get going. Dad’s at home waiting for us.”
“Where are we going tonight?” I hadn’t bothered to ask for the details when Cameron came over in the morning because I was in a desperate state to get him out of my apartment before he spotted Marcus. “Has Dad made reservations somewhere?”
“Yep, that new French restaurant near his place. Apparently, it’s amazing.”
We both fell into silence for a moment, thinking about our mother. She was a sucker for French food, always the one delving into the snails and frog’s legs without even thinking about it. I couldn’t help but wonder if this was Dad’s tribute to her.
When she first passed, he was too crushed to even mention her. He removed everything that reminded him of her in the house. But as time was creeping forward, he was slowly coming back around.
We all were.
“What did you get him from me?” Cameron suddenly asked, breaking the tension in the car. “I was going to send you a text to remind you, but I forgot, so I really hope you didn’t.”
“I remembered. I got him a record he’ll love. It’s the sort of thing you would’ve gotten for him anyway, so he might not even suspect that it wasn’t you.”
He nodded happily and pressed the gas hard, sending the car way over the speed limit along the road. I opened my mouth to scold him, but in the end, I slammed it shut. I couldn’t exactly tell my brother off for his actions when what I’d done was so much worse. Instead I stared out the window and watched the world go by, taking in the calmness before I shattered that completely.
“Cameron,” my voice box started way before I was ready for it. “I... I have something I need to talk to you about.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”
Do it, do it now! I screamed inside my head. Do it before you get there. But I couldn’t.
“Do you think we should mention Mom tonight?” I ended up taking the coward’s way out instead.
“We’ll see how Dad feels. He might mention her, then we’ll know. I mean, he’s reserved a place she’d love
, so he might finally be ready to move on.”
Move on. Those words sent a cold terror spiking into my chest. “What if he has moved on?” I asked, panic stricken. “What if he’s met someone new?”
“He will eventually,” Cameron responded with a serious kindness to his tone. “And, we can’t be mad at him for it. It has been a long time. He does deserve it, after all.”
“I know that... It’ll just be weird, that’s all.”
I just couldn’t picture it. I guess I hadn’t ever really thought about it, but now it was all that I could think about. Dad and some mysterious woman... Why couldn’t I wrap my head around that? He did deserve to be happy, that was fair.
“Anyway, here we are. Let’s go and get him.”
We went up the driveway to a large home that looked very similar to my brother’s. I had a lot of memories within those walls, and in the yard, which was maybe why I now lived in a much smaller apartment. I loved this house, I’d had the best time in it, but now all I could see was my mom’s face everywhere, tainting each and every memory with sadness.
Dad must have heard us coming because he made his way out into the driveway before we could get to the front door, greeting us with a massive grin and open arms. “There’s my two favorite children.”
“Happy birthday, Dad!”
We both handed over our gifts and watched with a grin as he tore at the wrapping paper like an excitable child. Just because he had all the money he could possibly need, didn’t mean he didn’t like gifts... especially ones carefully chosen just for him.
“Oh, you guys, these are amazing.” His eyes brimmed over as he pulled us in for a hug. “Thank you.”
“We better get going in a minute.” Cameron checked his watch over Dad’s shoulder. “The reservation is soon.”
“Come on, it’s within walking distance. Let’s go.”
I allowed myself to fall behind Cameron and Dad as we walked toward the restaurant –not just because they were boring me to death talking about golf, but also because I still needed to decide exactly what I was going to say. Even I didn’t do it until later, I needed to be ready.
“Cam, I’m dating Marcus... Cameron, I’m really sorry, I know you told me not to, but I just can’t help myself around him... Cam, I think I’m falling in love...”
“Here we are!”
My ideas were so terrible that I was grateful to Dad for distracting me. As I followed them both inside and the waiter took us to a table, another emotion unexpectedly choked me up.
I always got upset that Mom was no longer around, especially on big events, but I usually managed to hold it together until afterward, when I was alone in my room. But in a place I just knew she would’ve adored, it was hard to keep the tears inside. I could almost hear her chatting happily next to us as if she was still alive.
“Your mother would’ve liked it here, don’t you think?” Dad announced, finally tackling the subject. “That’s why I chose it. I like to pretend that she’s still here sometimes.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” I practically whispered as Cameron ducked his head, too upset to say anything. “She would’ve.”
“And she would have been so proud of you two.”
Oh, God, it was getting too much; none of us knew what to say. Luckily, to save the awkwardness of the moment, the waiter came over and took our order, giving us all some much-needed time to redeem ourselves.
“So, anyway, Blair.” Just as I was about ready to make normal conversation again, Dad zoned in on me with the one other topic I was unsure about. “How are things going with your fella?”
My entire body heated up. I felt a sharp pain stabbing me in my chest, and panic swirled about in my brain before darting everywhere inside of me. Shit, how am I supposed to do this now?
“What fella?” Cameron’s eyes honed in on me, as if he was trying to see into my soul. “I didn’t know you were with someone.”
“Oh... n... no, it isn’t like that,” I stammered, making the whole thing about a million times worse. “It’s nothing serious, nothing at all actually.” I laughed a weird sound and took a massive swig of the ice-cold water that had been set out in front of me. What a mess. I was supposed to be telling Cameron tonight, but now I’d screwed that all up. I just didn’t want him to freak out about Marcus in front of Dad.
Thankfully, Dad seemed to sense my distress, and he distracted Cameron with a chat about someone they both knew and hated.
It would only be temporary, though. He’d be back to it soon enough. I just needed to work out what I was going to say when he was.
***
“Well, that went well, don’t you think?”
I could feel Cameron’s eyes boring into me, hunting for my weak spot. “Yeah, I think he really liked it,” I replied casually. “He got on well with the waiter at any rate, although I think he’ll have a hangover tomorrow.”
“Yeah, and that thing he said about your fella... That was weird, wasn’t it?”
I rolled my eyes and sighed deeply. He’d been itching to bring this up again all night long, and I’d been desperately trying to bat it off. All of that had sucked every scrap of confidence from me, and now I wasn’t sure that I could do it at all.
“It was nothing,” I shot back defensively, again taking the pathetic way out. “I don’t know what he was talking about.”
“You know I just want you to be happy, don’t you?” I was stunned by the genuine concern in his tone. I had no idea what it meant. “I know that life hasn’t been easy for you with Mom not around anymore, and you deserve someone nice. You probably think I’m a bit of an asshole, but it’s only because I care. I certainly don’t want you hanging around with some loser who’s no good for you.”
His words made me feel like shit. I knew Cam was a good brother, and it was clear that all he wanted was the best for me, and how did I repay him? By sneaking around behind his back.
Now I really wanted to tell him who I was dating, but I also didn’t want to let him down. My brain darted from decision to decision, not really settling on anything. Did I burst it out now, when things were so good between us, or did I want to keep the positive mood going?
“Erm, thanks,” I eventually stuttered foolishly. “I appreciate it.”
“Right, well, here you are.” Cameron turned to smirk at me as he stopped outside my apartment. “And if you do ever decide to let me meet your mystery man, just let him know it won’t be an easy test to pass. I won’t let anyone off easily – only the best for you.”
He pulled me in for a brotherly hug, and with his arms around me a sharp shock of guilt bolted through my system. I was the worst!
“I’ll probably see you tomorrow.” I smiled weakly at him as I slid out the car. “And thanks again.”
While I trudged up the stairs to my home, I felt deflated and sad. Not only had I not told Cam about me and Marcus, I’d inadvertently made it worse. Now it was going to be even harder to open up with the truth. I didn’t want either of us to be hated when all this came out, but now I couldn’t see it going any other way.
I should have just said it then, when I had the chance.
Idiot!
Chapter 25 – Marcus – Wednesday
Everyone had been busy all the week long so far, which left me a little lonely, to be honest. My life in London was always so busy, filled with functions and meetings and social events, I hadn’t ever really had time to be by myself.
Honestly, I didn’t really like it. It was the first time since coming to America that I wasn’t one hundred percent sure that I’d done the right thing. There wasn’t anything in particular to make me feel that way – it was just too much time inside my own brain never did me any good.
It was understandable, of course. Blair had her work. She couldn’t get out of shoots that she’d booked months ago just because I was here. Cameron had other things going on in his life, but still... There was only so much I could do in this city by myself without feeling like a total loser.
I was sick of pacing up and down my apartment, feeling at loose ends.
“Knock, knock!”
My heart lifted with excitement as Cameron burst through my door. He’d suggested that he might pop over today at one point, but I wasn’t totally sure that he would. Cam wasn’t best known for his incredible memory. I was so glad he had, though! Just a few more hours by myself and I might’ve gone insane.
“Hey, how’s it going?” I hadn’t spoken to him since Saturday, and my communication with Blair had been very sporadic, too, so I wasn’t totally sure how he’d reacted to the news that me and his sister were dating.
But he was here, grinning, so that had to be a good sign. Maybe he was totally on board with it, maybe he was about to shock me completely by being happy for us! I wouldn’t bring it up until he did, just in case. I was going to have to wait for him to say something first. “How’s your week been?”
“Ugh, crazy. You?” He flopped down onto my couch and rubbed his forehead hard, stress etched across his features. It was a bit of a laugh, really. Cameron certainly didn’t have so much going on in his life that he knew what genuine stress was, but I wasn’t about to point that out.
“Something like that.” There was no point in being honest about my boring week now. “Did you want to do something? Do you have time?”
“Yeah, didn’t we plan to go to the gym this morning? I can’t remember. I feel like we did, but you know what my brain is like.”
I chuckled loudly and nodded. “Yeah, I do, but I’m up for the gym, sounds fun.” Anything was better than loitering around by myself for another day. “I’ll just go and grab my stuff.”
As I raced into my bedroom, I grabbed my phone and considered texting Blair to ask her what’d happened, but I knew she wouldn’t be available to answer. I was just going to have to figure this out all on my own. I glanced toward the other room, feeling guiltier with each passing second.
“Right.” I gulped down a painful lump of sadness as I laid my eyes back on my friend once more. “Are you ready to go?”