by Alexa Davis
“I might go for a wander inside,” I told Roy, slipping my hand from his. “You stay out here with Tank if you like…”
“No, no, I want to come with you,” he grinned. “Tank is doing a damn good job of looking after himself.”
I was about to take Roy to the room where Ali was sitting, but before we got there, Hailey grabbed hold of me to hiss her approval into my ear. “He’s so cute,” she exclaimed excitedly. “And really nice, too. He ticks every single one of the boxes. You really are lucky.”
But I couldn’t answer her because my eyes were on Roy. I was watching him walking in to where Ali was, then sitting and coloring next to her. It was almost as if he could sense that she wouldn’t open up easily, and that he needed to introduce himself to her really slowly. That knowledge filled my chest with an intense warmth. He was such a good person, and far too good with children for someone who couldn’t have kids himself. It just wasn’t fair.
“I know,” I finally said as a response. “He’s a good guy.” I wandered from her and went to sit by Ali. This was going well enough, but I wanted to bridge the gap, to make both of them feel comfortable. “Hi, Ali, how are you doing?” I smiled at her, causing her to leap up into my arms in excitement. “Tell me about what you’re drawing here.”
As she explained her artwork to me, I shot Roy a smile and I could see a shift in his expression, one that suggested to me that this place was having the positive impact on him, just as the church did on me. We were slowly introducing our worlds to one another, and that felt great.
“Who’s the man?” Ali eventually whispered to me. “What’s he doing here?”
“This is my friend, Roy,” I said gently to her. “Would you like to shake his hand?”
She hid behind me for a few moments, her entire body heating up with embarrassment, during which time both me and Roy simply waited patiently for her to come back around. I knew that she would eventually, she just needed to time to adjust, and I was more than willing to give her that.
“Hi there, Ali,” Roy joined in the conversation quietly. “I won’t bite, I promise.”
With that, she peered around me and smiled at him. “Hi,” she whispered, so quietly that we could barely hear her. He held out his hand, and she leaned forward and shook it so quickly that they barely touched, but it was enough. I knew that was a huge step for her, so I felt incredibly proud.
“Now, come on; let’s get back to coloring, shall we?” I smiled at them both as Hailey finally brought our drinks through. “I haven’t done any drawing for ages.”
***
“Well, I have to admit, that was an incredible day,” Roy admitted to me, as we got back to his home. “I knew it was going to be awesome, but that was something else. What your friend has achieved there, that was something else!”
“I know, she’s done amazingly,” I nodded along with him. “She’s really made a great place for kids in need to go.”
“And Ali… Wow, what a sweet kid.” He poured me a drink, whilst deep in thought, which made me grin to myself. It seemed that Ali had impacted Roy, just as she had me. “Shy, but great once she comes out of her shell.”
“She’s lost both of her parents,” I explained to him. “I think that probably explains why she’s so quiet. It’s a huge trauma for someone so young… I can only imagine.”
He shook his head in disappointment, sadness filling his expression. “That’s so awful. I can’t even begin to imagine.” He joined me on the couch, clearly thinking about Ali and her life. “At least she has the Hangout to go to – must be a nice change from the orphanage.”
“I know. That’s why it’s so good that Hailey followed her dream—” I started, but Roy jumped in again quickly, as if he couldn’t quite wait to get his next sentence out.
“You know what, I’m going to donate some money to the Hangout, to help Hailey get some more equipment for the kids. I’m sure that there’s a lot they could use…maybe even get some more staff or something.”
That wasn’t why I took Roy to the Hangout, not at all, but as he said it with such conviction, I felt an intense rush of love wash over me. He was so sweet, so kind. I couldn’t believe that I’d found him.
“You’d do that?” I gasped in shock. After all this man had been through, he still had it in him to feel compassion and empathy for others. “That’s so kind of you. I’m sure that Hailey will be thrilled.”
To be perfectly honest, as time went on, I found myself increasingly interested in helping my best friend out, too, I just wasn’t sure how. Now that I’d pulled my head out of my own ass and stopped focusing on my career, I could see what an amazing job she’d done with the place, and I wanted to assist her. Unfortunately, I just didn’t have the finances available to me that Roy did. I would find a way though, eventually, I was sure of it.
“Of course, I would love to help out such an amazing cause!” he kissed me lightly as he said that. “Thank you for introducing me to all of that. Especially since I’m in the office for the rest of the week. With things like the Hangout on my mind, I can remember why I’m doing things.” He paused thoughtfully for a second, while I sat up to look at him.
“I thought that I wanted to give up the business because I’d made my money and because I had no drive for it, but now with your help, I’m slowly remembering that there are other things in my life, and I just need to remember them. It’s a good lesson for me.”
“Well, I’m glad that I could help,” I told him with a smile, feeling my heart pound a little bit faster. “Anything for you; you know that.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Roy – Thursday
I felt better than I thought I would, especially now that I was more in the swing of things.
It had taken me a couple of days to get used to running the office again, but I felt like I was doing a good enough job. It would take a while before everyone fully trusted us again, but with enough hard work and perseverance, we would get there. I was going some way to get people trusting me again, just by telling them that we would have an outside audit conducted every quarter that would be published publically on the website for everyone to see.
Transparency was the way forward; that much was obvious.
“So, how are you getting on, boss?” Fredrik, an intern who was slowly becoming my favorite member of staff, asked. He’d been faithfully helping me ever since my return, and even though I knew I should probably withhold my trust a little after being burned by Lewis, I could tell that he was a good guy.
Things with Lewis weren’t great; he was in the news a lot. More and more of his issues were coming to light, making me wonder if I ever knew him at all. There was definitely a darker side to him, and it was a shame that I’d never seen it. Of course, I would have had I not been sucked up by depression, but there wasn’t anything I could do about that now. There was no point in living in the past and what I should have done. I was all about moving forwards these days.
His trial was coming soon enough, and he would get his judgment then. It wasn’t for me to worry about anymore, I’d done my part. It was likely that I would have to be called up for a witness statement, but I was doing my best not to worry too much about that just yet.
“Yes, thank you, Fredrik. It’s only the accounts that I still need to get through. I decided to get things back up and running again before delving too deeply into it, because I know that once I do, I won’t be coming out for a while.”
“Well, obviously I know that you’ll want to check through it all yourself. I’m sure that you want to find all the gaps for yourself, and you need to know exactly where the business stands to keep on moving forward, but I can always help. That’s what I’m here for, after all.”
“You don’t know how much of a Godsend you are,” I told him happily, patting him on the back. “It would be awesome to have some help because I don’t even know where to start at the moment. It seems that Lewis kept all of the papers chaotic and messy on purpose, so if you could sort
them into date order for me to look through, that would be amazing.”
I felt bad for bringing this kid in, but I really did need someone more organized than me to do what needed to be done. I didn’t think I could tackle it alone, and Fredrick was very keen. “Of course, I will give you a massive bonus once it’s all done, just for the stress it will cause you.”
Fredrick laughed, but shook his head. “No, I don’t want to do it for that. I just want to help. This company is an amazing place to work, and I want it to stay that way.”
The fact that he didn’t want it was exactly why I would pay him more.
“Hi!” June’s sing song voice burst into my office. “Oh, I am sorry. I didn’t realize that you were in a meeting. I wanted to take you out for lunch, that’s all.”
“You go, Sir,” Fredrick jumped in. “I’ll get started. I’m much better at organizing things by myself.”
I so desperately needed to get out of the office, to get a break from it all, which was exactly why I agreed. “Okay, sure,” I smiled at June happily. “Let’s get going.”
We were slowly becoming common knowledge throughout Florence now, which was great, as things were a lot more serious between us these days. Luckily, we’d received nothing but positivity from everyone. There was a time where I didn’t think that I could ever move on, and not just because of me, but also because I lived in a small town where I felt like I would be judged. It was why I’d always kept things casual and on the down low. Now, I could see that was just another excuse that I’d given myself because I wasn’t quite ready for it.
“So, how has your day been?” I asked her once we were inside the café. A couple of days ago, June decided that since she couldn’t donate any money to the Hangout, she would give her time instead. She was working at the Hangout while she decided what to do with her life, but I got the impression that she wanted to stay.
I hadn't ever seen her as happy as she was at the end of a shift, particularly when she was working as a journalist. I wouldn’t have been surprised if Hailey eventually hired her as full time staff. She probably wanted to already.
“It was great!” she exclaimed excitedly. “You know that kid, Sawyer, well he…”
As she launched into a speech about the children, I found myself on the edge of my seat waiting for her to get to Ali. I already knew that June adored Ali, and I did now, too. Just that sort time with her had been enough to have me needing to know more. For such a sweet young kid to have gone through so much… Well, in a way, I felt like I could relate. Very distantly of course; when I lost my mother, I was old enough to understand it, but still that raw, muddy feeling was the same.
“And, how about Ali?” I eventually felt compelled to ask, when she hadn't gotten to her yet. “How is she doing?”
June’s eyes fell, which wrenched at my heart. It had to be bad news, and I really didn’t want to hear that. “She went to see the counselor today, and I think it dragged up some painful stuff. She was really closed off and sad. Even I couldn’t get through to her. I don’t know what to do about it.”
I held her hands in mine, seeing the sadness deep in her gaze. “There isn’t always anything you can do,” I told her regretfully, hoping that I was helping. “Sometimes you just need to be there as a constant figure in her life and she will come around eventually. It isn’t easy I know, but when she’s ready to talk, she will.”
“Yeah, I hope that you’re right,” she replied sadly, but before we could get anymore into it, the waitress came over with our food, completely distracting us.
***
“Wow, you did that quickly!” I exclaimed to Fredrick as I got back into the office. “It’s really all organized already?”
“Well, I don’t think it was as confused as you thought it was. I think that maybe Lewis had it all well sorted at one point, but maybe he messed some of it up looking for something. I’m not sure, but it won’t be as hard to go through as you thought.”
“Well, I am still impressed, and you will still be getting a bonus in your pay check!”
As Frederick left the room, leaving me to it all, I got to work with much more of a positive attitude in mind. If I could get all of this sorted, then I could finally move on – we could all put this far behind us. This was the last remnants of what Lewis’s selfishness had done to us, and I couldn’t wait for it to be done.
I fired up my computer quickly, knowing that I would have to make notes about absolutely everything, not just for myself, but for the courts, too. I needed to have it all laid out in the clearest way possible to ensure that I could recall everything at a later date.
“Right,” I muttered to myself with a determination in my tone. “Let’s get this done.”
But I got distracted almost instantly. Turning on my computer was a big mistake! Not only did emails keep firing through at every second, that noise driving me insane, but I also kept looking up the details of Lewis’s case online. I couldn’t seem to stop myself from knowing every damn detail, however painful it was.
I just kept trying to replace the image of the guy I knew with the one that I was now discovering, but I couldn’t quite do it. It was such a shame that someone with so much potential, so much to offer the world had thrown his life away in such a silly way. Of course, I didn’t fully understand addiction, it wasn’t something that I’d ever experienced myself, but I did get sadness and the way that things could grip your heart. I’d done some stupid stuff when I was depressed, but nothing like any of that!
As my eyes drifted over the screen, I suddenly spotted something else, something that had my heart racing and my mind fluttering with ideas.
Never having kids was something that I’d come to terms with a long time ago, or at least when I lost Shelley. But now, with June in my life, things were different. She might not have been able to see it herself, but she had a maternal side, one that was screaming out to be a mother. It killed me that there wasn’t anything that I could do to satisfy that need. It had been the one thing that had made me want to hold back, just a little bit.
But maybe I’d been thinking too closely to the box all the time; maybe I hadn't wanted to see any other options; maybe there was another way to make both of our dreams come true, even if it wasn’t exactly in the way that either of us had planned.
I found my finger edging towards the mouse, and it clicking on the advert before I could fully think it through, intrigue gripping too tightly to me.
Adoption…change someone’s life today.
Adoption – a way to have a child that wouldn’t need me to be fertile. A way to give someone the life that they deserved, even if they weren’t conceived naturally. It hadn't been something that had ever crossed my mind before, but now it was all that I could think about.
We knew a child who needed a good home, and we had a good home to offer.
Sure, things were relatively new between me and June, but we were smart enough to know that we were in love and that it was going to last. I didn’t have any worries in that department, and I was sure that she didn’t, either. We could make this work, we really could, however crazy it was. All we needed to do was make the people in charge of the adoption aware that we were in it for the long haul, and that we had the right qualities to be the best parents that we could do.
Maybe there was a way that June and I could be parents, after all.
Maybe Ali could have a home, after all. Maybe we could heal all the holes in her heart, to help her to recover from trauma, to help her finally have the life that she deserves.
Thump, thump…
Thump, thump…
Thump, thump…
My heart began to beat with joy, proving to me that this was the right thing to do. My instincts were screaming at me, gnawing in my stomach, pleading with me to carry on. This would be good for all of us: I just knew it.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
June – Friday
“That’s great, Ali,” I exclaimed with joy, clapping my hands in happi
ness as I spoke. “You’re getting so much better at this.”
One of the things that her therapist noticed was that Ali was a little behind with basic stuff that kids her age should know. While she was making some progress at her preschool, it wasn’t quite enough, especially as she didn’t go full time.
Since Hailey knew that I could get through to her, she asked me to help her out with it, which I was doing sporadically throughout the day. I didn’t want to overload her, which was why I only did it in small chunks. Plus, I quickly figured out that turning things into a game and offering lots of praise yielded much better results.
“Thank you, June,” she smiled sweetly. “I think I have to go in a minute though.”
“I know you do, but we can pick up tomorrow, if you’d like?”
As she hugged me goodbye, filling my heart with joy, Hailey entered the room with a smile on her face. “Would you like to come to dinner with me?” she asked me. “I have a lot that I want to discuss with you.”
“Ooh, that sounds a bit formal,” I teased playfully. “But sure, that sounds great. What did you have in mind?”
“The Chinese place around the corner.”
As everyone left to go to their respective foster homes, I set about helping Hailey to tidy up. I absolutely loved everything about the Hangout, and I wanted to be there more. Over the last few days, I’d been formulating a new plan in my mind, something for my future, and I actually wanted to discuss that with Hailey, too, so maybe this would be the perfect time to do so.
“That’s enough for now,” she eventually sighed happily. “We can get the rest done in the morning. Let’s go and eat! I’m absolutely starving.”
While we sat opposite one another, I waited anxiously for Hailey to start first. I needed to know what she had to say before I could even think about delving into my thing. I wasn’t sure if the next words out of her mouth were going to change my plan completely anyway. But she was leaving me dangling, holding me over the edge, causing the anticipation to rock through my body until I could barely stand it any longer.