Sleeping With The Billionaire - A Standalone Royal Alpha Billionaire Prince Romance (New York City Billionaires - Book #2)

by Alexa Davis

  Patient.

  Everyone kept telling me that, and on the surface it seemed like really good advice, but I just couldn’t make myself do it. How can I be patient when it is tearing me up inside? What if I waited patiently, and he decided that he didn’t want me after all? Wouldn’t it be better to just get over him now before my heart got torn into shreds?

  “Yeah, thank you,” I replied quietly, not voicing any of my inner thoughts. None of this was Roy’s fault, and he probably didn’t know how to tell me that moving on would be the best thing for me. Maybe he thought that he was actually giving me good advice, I couldn’t quite tell. “Anyway, I better get back to work, but thank you.”

  I stood behind the counter, wiping down the surface and refusing to make eye contact with anyone. In that moment, I felt really misunderstood, like no one could get what I was going through, like no one had a chance of understanding. Rationally, I knew I wasn’t the first person to get her heart broken, and I wouldn’t be the last either, but I couldn’t stop myself from feeling alone.

  Nancy was happy and in love, Rae would be going to school soon, and I was going to have to focus on carving out a happy future for myself. I hadn't realized that I’d sort of been doing that, but now that it had been stripped away from me, I felt more desperate than ever.

  I wanted that magical, fairytale romance. I needed the happy ever after – I just had to accept that it wasn’t going to come with Justin so that I could go out and get it. I needed to remember that he was just a chapter in my life’s book, and that it was time to move onto the next one.

  No, no matter what everyone kept telling me, I wouldn’t keep being patient and hanging on. I would focus on getting past this sorry mess, instead. It wouldn’t be easy, but the longer I allowed myself to keep dangling on this string, the harder it would become. I deserved more – I owed Rae and myself much better. I’d wanted Justin from the beginning, so that is what I would aim for. No, not even someone like Justin; someone much better.

  He was out there. I could find him, couldn’t I? Just because I hadn't before, didn’t mean I wouldn’t now. I hadn't been ready then, now I was. Now my heart was open and waiting for love.

  I had to at least remain hopeful or that was it for me. I didn’t stand a chance. Faking it until I made it clearly wasn’t working for me, now I needed to find something that would.

  By the time I actually finished work, I felt a little bit more positive. I was sad, of course – that wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon – but at least I had a plan now. I was finally moving forwards.

  PART 4

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Justin – Monday

  I felt like I was just coasting through life, just getting on with it because I didn’t know what else to do. My brain had simply switched off my emotions, giving me the chance to just get on with things. I didn’t know how to feel about anything anymore, so I just went numb instead. I got into work and walked through the office without even acknowledging anyone. Usually I took the time to at least see what everyone was up to, but now I didn’t even care.

  I just needed to get my work done, then get back home to wallow even more.

  Knock, knock…

  Almost the second that I’d slammed the door shut behind me, someone was there, ready to irritate me. I sighed deeply, almost considering ignoring it, before shaking my head and reminding myself to focus.

  “Come in,” I called out, but the irritation was evident in my tone.

  As Marie, the receptionist, strolled in I remembered with a fondness the days when I would embrace her obvious interest in me and I’d take time out every day for a causal flirt with her. I always made it clear that we would never become anything, so it was harmless, but I couldn’t even begin to imagine being that way again.

  “Okay, Marie? What’s going on?” I needed her to get to the point, then leave me alone. Even the thought of this conversation was exhausting.

  Not even slightly taking the hint she sat in the chair opposite me. “What’s going on with you, Justin?” she asked, being far too familiar for my liking. “Everyone has noticed that you’re acting different. Are you all right?”

  Oh God, I do not need to be having this conversation with someone who works for me; can she not see how inappropriate this is? Sure, I didn’t normally lord over the boss thing, but this time I felt like I needed to.

  “Look, if you want to talk to me about work, then fine, but I don’t really feel like discussing my personal life with you.”

  “Personal life?” she screwed up her nose in disgust. “Is this because of her? That woman you brought in the office the other day?” When I didn’t answer, she seemed to feel the need to continue. She always was a bit too chatty, but this was on another level even for her. “Everyone has been saying that she’s different, that she’s the one for you, but I don’t get it. She’s too…plain.”

  Urgh, not only was everyone talking about me, which pissed me off no end, but now Marie was trying to get a rise out of me, too. The worst part was it was actually working.

  “Yes, it is because of her,” I snapped back in temper. “And I would much prefer it if you didn’t feel the need to make comments about someone you don’t know.”

  “Oh,” she had the decency to look a little chastened at that. “Oh right, I see—”

  “So unless you have something work related to tell me, I would much rather be left alone, thank you.”

  “Well, here are your calls,” she handed me some slips of paper. “And I’ll…I better go.”

  She stood up slowly, looking as if she still had something more to say, but thankfully, she decided against it and she walked out leaving me alone.

  “What a bitch,” I shook my head as I flicked through the slips of paper containing my phone messages. How could someone be so catty as to call another woman plain? Someone she hadn't even spoken to? Sure, it sounded like jealousy to me, but shouldn’t that be something to keep inside, not reveal freely? It seemed insane, but then again it didn’t matter how long I worked around women, they would always be a mystery.

  Then my thoughts were completely derailed by one bit of paper with the name Roy Larkin. My friend had called me, and he was about the only person in the world that I wanted to actually speak to. He knew me and Annie equally; he was the only one who could actually get what I was going through.

  As I picked up the receiver and dialed his number, I actually felt a bit of hope floating through me, which was the first real emotion that I’d had all day. Even the anger and irritation that Marie had caused was dulled.

  “Hey, man, what’s going on?” Roy asked, blunt and to the point. “I spoke to Annie; things aren’t great with you, huh?”

  “No…” I felt a little stunned. It made sense that Annie would look to Roy for advice, too, but it still made me feel a bit put out. “No, they aren’t. Did she tell you about Garrett?”

  “Sort of,” he replied slowly. “No details, though, so if you feel like telling me…”

  “He got caught drunk driving,” I told him in a flat, monotone voice. “He crashed into another car and killed a teenage girl.”

  “Holy fuck, that’s insane,” Roy gasped, about as shocked as I felt. “How the fuck did that happen?”

  I paused thoughtfully for a second before deciding to get into it with Roy. He knew enough about my family history, and I’d opened up enough to him before to feel comfortable doing so.

  “Apparently, he got into a fight with some chick and that pissed him off enough to get behind the wheel. But I think it might be more than that. He’s been talking so much about our parents, as you know, and stating that I’m gunna end up like Dad, cheating on Annie, but I’m starting to believe that actually he’s like Mom.”

  I sighed loudly, sickness swirling through my system. I hated that it had gotten to the point where I had to say this aloud. “I think he might be depressed, and that he wants to die like she did.”

  “What makes you think that?” Roy asked
quietly, processing what I’d just told him.

  “I just…I don’t get his behavior, at all. It isn’t just the driving drunk, but the fact that he isn’t repentant about what he’s done. It’s almost like he doesn’t care that he’s killed someone…and depression can make people quite self-centered, can’t it? It’s like all he can see is himself.”

  “Shit, that’s horrible.” Roy was about as stunned at that as I felt when I first worked all of that out. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “There isn’t anything you can say,” I admitted to him. I knew there wasn’t any advice I could get because there wasn’t anything that could be done. “But thanks for listening, anyway. It feels good to get some of it out of my system.”

  “Well, what about Annie?” he asked, sounding like he felt a little cautious about entering that topic. “I know that you haven’t been speaking to her much, but is that just because you’re busy, or is that because of what Garrett said to you?”

  “What…what do you mean?” I stammered awkwardly, sensing that he might have hit the nail on the head.

  “I mean, are you avoiding Annie because Garrett told you that you’re going to end up like your dad?” My silence said it all. “Look, man, I have to tell you that’s ridiculous. Maybe some people do end up acting like their parents, but that’s learned behavior rather than genetics. You didn’t grow up seeing your dad act that way; he did it before you can remember.

  “Plus, more importantly, you are your own man. You choose how you behave – you don’t have to do anything.”

  “Oh God,” I groaned as everything hit me like a punch in the face. “Have I been an idiot?” I might not have wanted to hear it, but Roy had told me straight and actually it had lifted some of the fog from my brain.

  “Yes,” he chuckled lightly. “But I don’t think it’s too late. I think you still have time to fix things.”

  My mind instantly whirred a hundred miles an hour, trying to work out the best way to do that. Now that I had left it so long, when I did it, it needed to be right. It was going to have to be some kind of awesome gesture.

  “Thanks, Roy,” I told him sincerely. “You’re a great friend. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

  I needed to recall that my friend had suffered loss and pain in his life, too, including the death of his first wife, and he’d come out of it the other side. I needed to use him as an inspiration to help me move forward, too.

  “That’s okay. I’ll speak to you soon.”

  As I hung up the phone, I allowed that hope to fill me up. If I could fix things with Annie, then everything would be all right. If I could make things right in that area, then everything else wouldn’t feel so shitty, after all. The situation with Garrett was overwhelming me, but if I had some positivity in my life, then maybe it wouldn’t feel so hard.

  I couldn’t sit in this office, not when I wouldn’t achieve anything anyway. I needed to get out there and to take action. I needed to make things right.

  “Lucia?” I said into my personal assistant’s buzzer. “I need to go out for the day, is that okay?”

  “Yep, I don’t have anything scheduled for you at the moment, what with everything that’s going on.” God, she is a legend. What the hell would I have done without her? “Is there anything you need done?”

  “You have a handle on it,” I replied gratefully. “Just give me a call if you need anything, I’ll keep my cell phone with me.”

  But I didn’t leave right away. I logged on to my computer first to do some research. I had a plan, and I knew that I could make it happen – I just wasn’t sure where to start.

  Roy was right. I was being foolish and allowing myself to get sucked into Garrett and his twisted web of silliness. Usually, I was pretty good at ignoring everything he said, but because I cared about Annie so much and because I could sense that she had a complicated, pain-filled past, she was a sensitive subject for me, which had made me react more to his statement.

  I had already fulfilled my dad’s wishes. I had really tried to help Garrett sort his life out, and it hadn't happened. He’d thrown it back in my face. With what he had done, there was nothing more that I could physically do for him. He would have to be on his own now.

  Now was the time for me to begin worrying about my own life and what I needed to be happy.

  And what I needed was Annie. That woman was incredible, and I adored everything about her. I loved her gorgeous face, her wonderful curves, and her caring personality. Her daughter was amazing, too, a little firecracker. I wanted both of them in my life, and I hoped that they still felt the same way about me, too.

  No one had ever made me feel like she did. I hadn't ever cared about anyone so much. I didn’t want to keep holding back anymore, fearing what I might do in the future. I had to just grab onto life with both hands and finally enjoy myself. I couldn’t keep living my life in the past, I needed to move on. Roy was right about so many things; I was so glad that he’d called. What the hell would I do without that man in my life?

  “Aha!” I cried out with excitement as I finally spotted what I needed. Everything was going to be okay after all; I just needed to make a few secret phone calls.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Annie – Monday night

  I felt frazzled, there was no other way to describe it. I’d had a long day at work, and keeping up the appearance that I was happy was becoming really wearing. It would be easier tonight after Rae had gone to sleep, when I could finally just succumb to my emotions.

  I was really trying to stick to what I’d planned. I was doing my best to simply move on, but the reality was much harder than positive thought. Justin might have only been in my life for a short while, but he’d had an undeniable effect on me. It didn’t help that he was the first man that I’d let in since Rae’s father, that probably made it all hit me a whole lot harder.

  “You okay?” Nancy asked me, showing her concern. The more that time went on and the sadder I became, the more she was doing her best to look after me. “You look…worn out?”

  “I feel it,” I admitted, through a thin smile. “But I’ll be okay, thanks.”

  I’ve been through worse…I’ve been through worse…

  I kept this running through my head like a mantra every time I felt like I wanted to cry, and it was helping a little bit. I had been through worse, and I probably would again. I had to keep remembering that – this was just a chapter, this wasn’t the end of my book.

  Urgh, book… Even the thought that he still had my book filled me with dread. It made me feel like I would never write again, even if I did get the time. The whole experience had really put me off.

  “Well, let me stay and make you some dinner,” Nancy grinned at me. “I don’t have any plans tonight, anyway, and I’m sure Rae won’t complain if I want to stay…”

  “No, I love your cooking!” Rae shrieked, a little too excitedly.

  “Hey, what are you trying to say about mine?” I teased. She didn’t answer, sending me a look instead, one that made me laugh aloud. “Okay that sounds great, Nancy, thanks.”

  While Nancy set about cooking, Rae told me at a hundred miles an hour what they’d done throughout the day. I caught a lot of it and answered as needed, which luckily took my mind off things. Discussing coloring and tea parties with my daughter was just about the only thing that could distract me from my misery.

  “So, how have you been today, Mommy?” she eventually turned the conversation back around to me. “Has the store been busy?”

  “Oh, it’s always busy,” I forced a smile on my face. “But it’s good.”

  While we ate, I allowed Nancy and Rae to do most of the talking. Nancy seemed to sense that was exactly what I needed, but she did keep sending me reassuring smiles every so often, letting me know that she was there when I eventually wanted to talk.

  I wouldn’t take her up on the offer, though; I didn’t want to end up as one of those women who complained about the same man forever more
.

  “Who’s that?” Nancy asked me when a knock at the door interrupted our meal. “Are you expecting anyone?”

  “No, I have no idea who that could be.” Florence might have been a small town, but it wasn’t the sort of place where people turned up unannounced. At least, not to my house. It made me worry, but then again, unexpected calls of visitors always did. “But I’ll go and find out…”

  My heart pounded unnecessarily as I walked to the door, remembering the horrifying event that had caused this worry, the day that had changed the direction of my life. Having the police show up in the early evening just as you are getting dinner ready with grim expressions on their face isn’t something that I would wish on anyone…not even my worst enemy.

  I swung the door open slowly, to see the last face I had been expecting. “Justin?” I asked curiously, pushing the door open more. He didn’t call for ages, he ignored my call, now he was just here? It didn’t make any sense. “What’s going on?”

  “Can I come in?” he asked quietly, his car keys still in his hand. Had he driven the three hours just to see me? And why? I felt like he’d made his feelings perfectly clear. “I need to talk to you.”

  I wanted to tell him no, to explain to him that I was over him now and I never wanted to see his face again, but I couldn’t. It was too far from the truth. “Erm…okay,” I replied carefully, stepping aside. “Sure.”

  “Justin!” I closed my eyes and rested my back against the wall for a second as I heard my daughter gushing over the man that had broken my heart. She wasn’t to know, of course, but it hurt that she liked him so much. Especially as I knew that he would end up hurting her, too. Breaking my daughter’s heart was something else entirely. “Thank you for my presents. I love them!”