by Cookie Jones
“Nick?” Clary’s dad, Jeff, answered the door, he looked surprised to see me. I wondered if Clary told him anything yet.
“Hi, Mr. Richards, is Clary here?” I asked and his look of puzzlement only deepened.
“Clary? She went back to New York after Thanksgiving,” he said and I had to stop myself from cursing.
“Oh, uh…okay then, thanks,” I said and then hurried back to my car before he could say or ask anything further. “Fuck,” I mumbled to myself before I pulled off, I didn’t have Clary’s address. I put the car in park and then jogged back to Mr. Richards, who was still in the doorway looking at me as if I had lost my mind.
“You wouldn’t happen to have her phone number? Or address?” I asked him and he crossed his arms over his broad chest.
“Why would you need that information?” he asked and I looked up to the sky for advice or something.
“I…I have something really important to talk to her about and I need to see her,” I explained.
“What’s so important?” he asked and I took a deep breath.
“I can’t talk about it right now, sir, but I’d really appreciate it if you could give me her address at least,” I practically begged. Jeff saw the desperation on my face and he took his cell phone out of his back pocket.
“Her address is…” he began to relay to me what I needed to know and I took it down in my phone before shaking his hand in thanks.
“Thank you, Mr. Richards, I’ll keep in touch,” I said and then ran back to my car to drive to the city, but for entirely different reasons than I was initially going.
Driving to the city never took so long. When I was about halfway there, Selena called me, I didn’t know what to say when I answered.
“Hey…”
“Hey yourself, are you close?” she purred and I pressed my lips together.
“Uh, I’m on the way to the city yeah…but I, uh…this is awkward,” I said, I didn’t know how the hell to tell her that I had more than likely gotten Clary pregnant. Did I have to tell her? “I have to take care of something,” I said eventually.
“Take care of what? You have business in the city?” she pressed.
“I have to meet with someone,” I said and there was a crisp silence from the other line.
“A woman?” she asked and I sighed.
“It’s not what you think Selena, anyways, since when do you care that I’m with other women?” I asked her and she laughed.
“I don’t care if you sleep with other people, but when it’s my time…” she trailed off, letting me do the rest in my head.
“This is important, Selena,” I said.
“See now you’re becoming complicated and I don’t do that. What is this other woman to you? Family?” she asked me and I thought…well, possibly yes, the mother of my child would be considered family.
“Yes, she is,” I answered and then a longer pause on the other line.
“Let me ask you this then, can you still come to Europe with me?” I sighed and she chuckled. “Clearly not, well it was nice to know you while things lasted, Nick,” she said and then hung up.
“What a…bitch,” I said and then for the first time saw myself as others most likely did. Selena was truly the female version of me and I had to definitely change that. Especially if I was gonna be…if I were to have a kid soon.
Chapter6
Clary
I was fuming, still. I had sped back home and wasn’t even aware of how fast I drove; I just knew that I needed to be home. I couldn’t believe that…that…any insult wouldn’t be enough for what he was. He was just a horrible person! I sniffed and then wiped angrily at my tears, I had done the right thing by telling him. Some guys just would never be men and if that was the real Nick I wouldn’t want him in my child’s life. Period. I sat down on my couch in a heap. All that was left was coming to terms with being a single mom…panic crept up my spine as I wondered if I’d even have enough time to be a single mom. My job practically consumed me and having a baby was going to complicate things, then without any help? How would I do it?
I didn’t like the idea of raising my baby on nannies and day cares. Another wave of tears came over me and I stared at the pregnancy test result the doctor had faxed over; I had needed tangible proof. Not just a phone call and a ‘your test came back positive’ from the doctor. I didn’t even know how I would be able to sit through my first ultrasound without crying. Nearly two months pregnant…I was nearly two months pregnant and I hadn’t known until I remembered that periods existed and I should have had mine five weeks ago. My phone startled me when it started to ring and I saw it was my dad calling, I debated answering it and decided not to. He’d hear that I was crying and demand to know why I’ve been MIA for the past week since I got the results. Immediately after my phone went off the buzzer sounded for the door and I went to the intercom.
“Who is it?” I asked, but then no one ever rang back…odd. I kept an eye on the door, it was quite possible that someone simply let whoever it was in. Sure enough, there was a knock on the door and I went to look through the peephole. My entire body froze, it was Nick. Nick was at my door…in my hallway.
“Clary, please open up…I was an ass, a huge, huge ass, can we please talk things through?” he asked and then knocked again.
I briefly debated letting him stay out there to see how willing he was to actually talk, but my ingrained manners had me opening up the door. There he stood, looking annoyingly gorgeous and apologetic and regretful and…ass like.
“You are an ass. I don’t know why you came up here, you can go,” I said, but before I could have the satisfaction of slamming the door in his face, he threw his hand out to keep it open.
“Were you crying? Shit, Clary…I’m sorry, I reacted badly, like I said—like you said, I’m an ass.” His voice was pleading and apologetic and what was worse, I didn’t see anything but earnestness in his eyes.
“Fine, come in,” I said, at the height of reluctance, and he cautiously walked in and shut the door behind him. His eyes scanned the apartment briefly.
“You have a nice place…spacious for the city,” he commented, kind of like I did when I showed up at his place.
“You had no right to say the things you said, you know. I prayed, prayed for some sort of…I don’t know, immaculate conception, but no. You had to be the only guy I slept with in, like, months. And what’s more, you’re completely fucked up.” I let him have it and didn’t care if my words were hurtful, his were ten times worse. “If that’s the way you’re going to be, you can go on your merry way and just stay out of my life. You’ve already done enough damage,” I said and Nick simply stood there and took all I had to say.
“Keep going,” he said and I recoiled.
“What?”
He took a step towards me, his expression tight, and he repeated himself.
“Keep going, I deserve it,” he said and I quieted from not knowing what to say after that. “I shouldn’t have said what I said, I shouldn’t have pushed you away like that. Hell, I shouldn’t have been drunk at my dad’s funeral and made bad life choices,” he admitted and I rolled my eyes.
“Because you’d never actually sleep with someone like me sober, huh?”
“No, no, no that’s not it. I would have used protection…and maybe…maybe you’re right. I usually go for the dumb women or women who I can forget about afterwards. I’d never have a one night stand with someone like you.”
I blinked at him and couldn’t help but think that his whole speech was so out of character.
“Nick…just go, I can’t really take you seriously right now,” I said, but he shook his head.
“Look, can we just talk about the…you being…you know the pregnancy?”
I huffed and then gestured for him to have a seat in the living room, which he did. I sat far away from him on one of the sofa chairs while he was on the couch.
“When did you find out?” he asked and I pointed to the paperwork on the cof
fee table, he picked it up and studied it for a while.
“It’s the results from my pregnancy test, I went to the doctor and found out last week.” I had begun to calm down and start feeling a little bit normal. My tone reflected that and Nick looked up at me, though he was still wary.
“You’re…six weeks,” he said and I nodded. “That’s when we…”
I nodded again and he took a deep breath and leaned back against the couch. He still held the papers in his hand and was staring at it like it had all the answers he needed. After a long while, Nick put the papers down on the coffee table, leaned forward and scrubbed his face with his hands. Then he exhaled deeply and met my gaze.
“I’m sorry, Clary…for just…for messing things up,” he said and unconsciously my hand went to my belly.
“I don’t think things will be easy, but babies are blessings right?” I asked and Nick shrugged.
“I don’t know…I don’t think I ended up as much of a blessing to my parents,” he said with a tinge of bitterness to his voice. I rolled my eyes and scooted forward in my seat.
“Look, you have to stop this moping crap about how you think your parents hate you. You messed up and didn’t get yourself together in time to have a relationship with your dad and that’s sad. That really and truly is. But you should learn from it, not dwell on it,” I said firmly. Sure I could have been nicer, but frankly, I felt a little bit all over the place and wasn’t up for much B.S.
“You’re right…I will try to do that from now on. I don’t want to miss out on the…the—”
“The baby?” I said curiously and he nodded, I wondered why he couldn’t say it.
“I want to be in his…or her life, I don’t want what happened to me and my dad to happen here,” he admitted and seemed to have trouble admitting it at all.
I stared at him for a while and then took a deep breath. “You’re saying the right things…now, but I don’t know—I think I need to see some progress or something,” I said and he nodded.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to prove that I can be responsible and here for you and the…the baby,” he said slowly and I wondered if he had chest pains from saying the word.
“So, um…so are you…I mean when is your next doctor's appointment and stuff?”
I think I felt as awkward as he sounded.
“Tomorrow, actually, it’s my first ultrasound since I found out,” I said. Nick just nodded and then glanced around a bit. “So what are you going to do?” I asked him and he took a deep breath.
“Stay here, in the city…I’ll probably go check into a hotel until I find a place and then…see about what I want to do for a career,” he said and I tilted my head to the side.
“I feel obligated to offer you my guest bedroom, has its own bathroom, too. But that’s only if you want to…” Damned manners, why did I have to be so polite? I guessed that was my parent’s fault for raising me so well.
“I’d, um, actually I’d like to be close to you. You know just in case you need help with anything, like cravings or morning sickness,” I was shocked he’d actually say yes and took pause for a moment before nodding.
“Okay, yeah…um…okay.” We both sort of awkwardly sat there for a while until I thought of something to say. “So what are your career choices?” I asked and Nick ran his fingers through his hair. The distractingly silky golden brown locks sort of bounced back into place anyways.
“Well, I was thinking…I don’t know, when I was in school I liked the idea of architecture, I took a minor in it and was always pretty good at drawing and coming up with things…” He realized that he had spoken more than he wanted to, but I nodded, to encourage him.
“You should certainly do what you’re passionate about, architecture is—” Nick’s phone interrupted us, he pulled it out and glanced down at it then his expression became unsure.
“It seems important?” I said and he stood up, phone in hand intending to take the call.
“Yeah, it kind of is,” he said and I gestured for him to take it before I stood up and walked over to the kitchen, which was open to the living room.
I was starving, but needed to watch what I ate; it couldn’t all be bacon and Doritos with M&M’s…which sounded really, really good and gross at the same time. I took out some stuff to make a stir fry and glanced over my shoulder every once in a while to see Nick pacing in front of, what I called, the great window. The living room had one of those huge views of the city, I lived on the Upper West Side and had a cool view of the park and city around it. Nick was speaking in a low voice so I couldn’t hear who he was speaking to, but he seemed tense.
I focused on dinner and then realized I was only making enough for myself. I turned around and found Nick sitting at the breakfast bar, watching me intently.
“Do you want some…uh, stir fry?” I asked and he nodded.
“Yeah sure, thanks,” he was definitely distracted and I wanted to know why.
“So…” Why did I feel so awkward around him? Right it was probably because I barely knew him and was pregnant with his child. I sighed internally and almost jumped when he appeared next to me at the counter.
“That was my best friend, Buddy, you know him right?” he asked me and I nodded. “Yeah, I told him about you being pregnant; he’s the one who talked me off the ledge, so to speak, wants to come to New York to help me figure stuff out.”
“That’s some friend you got there,” I said and Nick smirked.
“Yeah, the guy never gave up on me really, always tried to get me to pull my life together, but…I guess I needed something big like this to kick me into gear,” he said.
It was weird having his undivided attention; his eyes were just so…green and he was so handsome. I shook myself internally, it was not the time to be all attracted to the man. I had to remind myself that he had issues and the only reason he was there was to be apart of our baby’s life.
“So do you want some help with that?” he asked me when I didn’t really give a response.
“Yeah, sure…it’s um, what I like to call Cajun stir fry. There’s no soy stuff in it,” I said and Nick nodded thoughtfully as he helped me chop up veggies.
“Is this weird for you? I mean it has to be. Not two hours ago you pretty much hated me, now you’re making me food,” he said and I looked at him and laughed.
“I’m not going to poison you if that’s what you think,” I said and he cracked a genuine smile, one that made his features all the more beautiful. “But yeah, it’s awkward. I’m just…well, I like to think I’m a fair person, I believe in giving people a chance.”
“So do you forgive me for being an ass?” he asked almost anxiously and I nodded while I held his gaze.
“Yeah, it’s okay, you were under stress and in shock,” I said and Nick shook his head and stopped what he was doing to face me head on and held my gaze steadily.
“Don’t make excuses for how I acted, I was an ass and I’m really sorry,” he said earnestly and I nodded, unable to look away from his eyes.
“Okay,” I said softly and he nodded before spontaneously pulling me in for a hug. It wasn’t at all awkward and felt surprisingly nice.
I was more confused than anything by his change in behavior. Maybe learning he had a baby on the way really did change him. Hell, if that news didn’t change a person they were really messed up. Nick let me go and I smiled at him, only a little awkwardly, then we went back to cutting veggies.
“So…if you don’t mind my asking, how did things go in New Haven, while you were there?” I asked and Nick almost chuckled.
“It was…well, my mom and I didn’t gel at all. I really said some hurtful things to her while I was there and before I left to come here … let’s just say she still doesn’t want to see my face. But other than that, I found a good CEO for the family business, so that’s good.” Nick sighed and I had an urge to comfort him in some way, maybe rub him on the back or something. But I simply tossed the chopped veggies into a bowl and went to sl
ice up some steak really thin.
Nick helped me make the stir fry and then we ate at the breakfast bar in relative quiet. I didn’t know when we’d be comfortable enough around each other, but hopefully it happened soon.
“So, um, let me show you to the guest room,” I said and Nick nodded. He had helped me clean up after dinner, too. It was definitely helpful having someone else around.
I led him down the hallway that was in the middle of the kitchen and living room. The guest bedroom was across the hall from mine and it was fully stocked.
“There’s everything from shampoo to a robe in there and stuff, so make yourself at home,” I said and Nick smiled at me.
“Thank you, this is great. I just need to get my bags from the car,” he said and I nodded.
When he was gone I wondered how the key situation would work…great, I should have never opened my mouth about him staying at my place. I was at work or working off site nearly thirteen hours a day. I did have a spare key…I just wasn’t sure about giving one to Nick. Then again, I did offer for him to stay across the hall to where I slept, so my logic was all wrong. I took a deep breath and tried to pull myself together. I needed to sleep, I needed a long uninterrupted rest. Maybe in the morning things would be less…weird. When Nick came back up, I gave him the extra key and bid him an awkward goodnight. I laid awake for a while and simply stared at the roof, I didn’t know how things were going to go or turn out, but my first priority had to be the baby.
Come morning, I was woken up by a wave of nausea and the scent of eggs cooking. The more I inhaled, the worse the nausea got. I clamped my hand over my nose and got out of bed to walk into the kitchen.
“Good morning…” Nick’s good-natured good morning trailed off when he turned from the stove and saw me looking sick. Then his eyes slid down the length of my body and I realized I was in nothing but a tank top and very short pajama shorts.