After giving my hands a good wash, I peeled off the dressing on my ankle and threw it in the trash. The redness around my tattoo was lessening. After taking a few moments to admire it again, I joined Cameron in the sitting room.
He stared out through the double glass doorway. “Did you hang those lights, Mia?”
“I put them up yesterday,” I said.
“They look fantastic.”
“Do you want to see them on?” I slid open the glass door and made my way over to the wall switch and flicked it. The garden was transformed into a wonderland of dramatically trailing Christmas lights strung from one end of the garden to the other, making the blue sparkling pool the central showpiece. It looked magical.
Cameron nodded his approval.
“We’ll have caterers tomorrow night,” I called over to him. “So I won’t have to worry about everyone getting what they need.”
He looked amused. “How very decadent.”
“You’re used to all this.” I gestured to the garden. “This is my first time hosting a party.”
This would not only be the first party I co-hosted with Richard but probably our last. Disappointment replaced this short lived excitement.
“You’ll be a wonderful host,” said Cameron, as though sensing my angst.
I’d been so happy spiraling those lights across the garden, with no idea that soon my life would also be spiraling out of control. Where the hell was I going to live now?
I made my way back in. “Will you stay awhile?”
“Sure.”
“Can I get you a drink?”
“No, thank you,” he said. “Mia, why didn’t you talk with Richard first?”
I broke his dark gaze.
“What was the driving force in getting a tattoo?” he said.
My boyfriend walking hand in hand with another woman. And the impending truth that we’re over.
I kicked off my shoes and made my way over to the couch and dragged my feet up. Lying down on my side, I rested my head on the armrest. This day had been grueling and all I wanted to do was cry into my pillow.
Scream into my pillow.
Wail away this agony until I’d rid myself of this rock lodged in my chest.
Cameron sat opposite in that big leather chair, staring at me intently. Even if he was a rascal, like Richard, I so loved having him near. Cameron made me feel safe. I knew he made everyone feel that way, but it was nice to believe he was fond of me.
He came over and pulled a chenille throw on top of me. “I’ll give Richard a call on the way home.” He returned to his seat.
“Thank you,” I said. “He listens to you.” Rubbing the tiredness out of my eyes, I tried to fall asleep.
“Mia.”
I pried my sleepy eyes open.
“You don’t have to go back to Dr. Raul.”
I blinked at him. “Really?”
“You’ve completed enough sessions with her.”
“Did she say I’m fine?”
“She knows you’ll be fine. Try to get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
I no longer looked forward to it. I squeezed my eyes shut to prevent tears from escaping.
This once happiness was over.
CHAPTER 8
MORNING BROUGHT WITH it the memory of being picked up from the couch by strong, capable hands and carried to bed.
Richard had undressed me and then tucked me in. His attentiveness made me feel so loved, so nurtured, right up until the point that memory of seeing him with another woman screeched into my brain.
This wave of sorrow threatened to drown me.
Stretching, I looked over at his side of the bed. It was empty. Noises carried from the kitchen. He was in there feeding Winston breakfast. I shoved myself up the headboard and mulled over how to discuss with him what I’d seen. Talking about last night would put our relationship on the fast track to being over. The argument leading to the kind of tension Richard refused to tolerate.
I’d given up my Malibu beach house to be Richard’s live-in girlfriend and lost my independence. Though I never felt suffocated in our relationship, Richard really was a bossy bastard. But he was my bossy bastard and the thought of losing him was heart wrenching.
I reached over to my bedside table, rummaged inside it, and withdrew my birth control pills. I popped one in my mouth.
The bedroom door flew open and it made me jump. Richard carried a tray in with pancakes stacked high on a plate and a coffee mug.
“Breakfast in bed?” He beamed and laid the tray next to me.
“What’s this for?” I wiped the sleepiness from my eyes, the confusion.
A guilt laden offering?
He sat on the edge of the mattress. “This is my way of thanking you. Love the lights.”
“I had fun putting them up.”
Richard handed me the mug. “There you go.”
“Did you have fun last night?” I watched his face.
“I didn’t stay long,” he said. “Apparently you tried to bring me my phone?”
I took a sip of coffee. “I missed you.”
“Phones are forbidden.” He ran his fingers through his blond locks, leaving it disheveled.
Or maybe he just didn’t want to be disturbed. Didn’t want his girlfriend ruining his fun.
“Why not leave it in your car?” I said.
“It’s actually nice to take a break from technology.” He picked up the fork and handed it to me. “Eat.”
I rested the fork back down. “I did something too last night.”
“I saw it when I put you to bed.”
“Cameron told you?” I said, pulling back the sheet and lifting my ankle.
“We had drinks last night.” Richard took my ankle in his hands. His thumb stroked the outline of the hummingbird and his eyelids fluttered, but other than that there was no reaction. “You have to rub in antibacterial ointment for the first few days.”
“I know,” I said. “Well?”
“I already find you fuckable. You didn’t need to get this.”
“Very funny.”
“Why get it now, baby?”
I gave a shrug.
“Where did you get it?”
“Beverly Hills.”
“I’d rather you talk with me first before making this kind of decision.”
“It was spontaneous.”
“I’m the spontaneous one, remember?” Richard stood up. “Cameron and I talked last night, Mia. We talked for a while about you.”
“What did he say?”
“We threw around some ideas.”
“Sounds ominous,” I said. “Did he meet you at Pendulum?”
Richard looked horrified. “How do you know about Pen?” He flung his arms up. “Never mention that name again. Understand?”
“Okay, why?”
“Because it doesn’t exist.”
I gave him the look that deserved.
“What do you know about it?” he said. “Who told you about it?”
His reaction stunned me.
Richard moved closer to the bed. “Tell me.”
I hesitated, searching for the right words. “I know exactly what goes on in there.”
“Impossible.” His tone was somber, cautious even. “You’re bluffing.”
I shrugged. “Maybe I overheard someone talking about it.”
He scraped his fingers through his hair. Wow, I’d not expected this.
If the place is that bad, why the hell was he there? And what was he doing with that girl inside?
“Eat your breakfast. Let’s not mention that place again.” He headed towards the door and paused. “Mia, whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m here from you.”
“Do you still love me?”
“A tattoo is not that big of a deal.” He frowned. “But why you got it is.”
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. I’d do anything for you. Anything. Surely you know that by now? Have I done anything to make you
doubt how much I love you?”
Say it, my brain screamed at me. Get it out before this devours you.
“You’ve been nothing but wonderful to me.”
He strolled back on over and kissed my forehead. “You’re my everything, Mia Lauren, and don’t ever forget that.” He pointed to my plate. “Eat, before it gets cold and ends up tasting like your cooking.”
“Hey.” I reached for a pillow and threw it at him.
Richard bolted out the door, laughing as he went. My pillow missed him.
I sank back against the headboard. Our Pendulum conversation was never going to happen. My mind drifted to what kind of place Pendulum was. If it topped Enthrall and Chrysalis, no doubt there was illegal activity going on in there.
And Richard was into it.
Whatever it was.
CHAPTER 9
THE PULSE OF the party matched my mood: vibrant.
Having pushed these feelings of betrayal out of my mind, I wanted, no needed, to give Richard the benefit of the doubt. It sat well with me. It felt like I’d been granted a second chance.
I’d chosen to wear my new Elie Tahari Reilla dress. The white eyelet cotton was perfect for this warm, fall evening and I’d matched it with comfy flat pumps. My hair was spiraled into delicate curls and my makeup was a perfect blend of emboldened dark eye shadow and soft pink lips. Tiny diamond studs were my only jewelry.
Rock music played in the background to this, our bustling party, the air bristling with excitement. Most of our guests mingled in the garden. Many of them seemed to know each other well from the way they embraced. Others moved from group to group, shaking hands, the formalities soon falling away and their laughter carrying.
This crowd was not only beautiful, they were rich, all dressed in classy casual clothes and carrying themselves with the air of the privileged. At the far end of the garden, just to the left of the pool, sat a long table draped in a white cloth and laden with the finest hors d'oeuvres. Small bites, like the Bruschetta, I’d gone back for seconds of, and that delicious Smoked Salmon Crostini.
Drinks were carried upon silver trays by waitresses, all donning the same black and white uniforms, all scurrying around to make sure the guests had what they needed.
Richard fed me Beluga caviar topped on miniature pancakes. His attention, along with a second glass of champagne, made me giddy with happiness. He led me off across the garden to greet his newly arrived guests and introduced me as his girlfriend. My confidence soared and my sense of belonging was at an all time high. These were some of the most interesting men and women I’d ever met, and I spent most of my time listening in awe as Richard traversed conversations ranging from politics to foreign issues and proving he was impressively well informed on current affairs. I leaned against him, admiring the ease with which he transitioned from one subject to another, easily matching the intellects of those around him.
Richard led me into the kitchen. “I want to introduce you to someone very special.”
“Who?” I said.
“Los Angeles’s finest D.A.”
“As in District Attorney?”
Richard smiled. “Mia, you’d be surprised who half our guests are.” He tugged me after him.
There, in the kitchen, taking a bite out of an hors d’oeuvre, was Cameron, dressed in jeans and a black shirt. He chatted away to a handsome forty something, his deep frown lines hinting at stress. He too held a small plate of food.
Cameron threw us a wave when he saw us.
“Ethan,” said Richard. “Good to see you. This is Mia.” He gestured to his friend. “Mia, this is Ethan Neilson.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mia,” he said, with a Georgia lilt. “Thank you for the invite.”
I beamed at him. “Thank you for being here.”
“It’s uncanny.” Ethan turned toward Cameron. “She looks just like her.”
“Who?” I said.
“My wife,” he said.
“Is she here?” I looked back into the garden, waiting for him to point.
“I’m afraid Sarah passed away, Mia,” said Cameron.
“I’m so sorry,” I said.
“I saw a photo of you in the hallway,” said Ethan, by way of explaining. “It kind of stopped me in my tracks.”
“I’m so glad you could make it,” said Richard, softening the moment. “It means the world to us to have you here. I see Cameron’s taking good care of you. Can I get you anything else? Something stronger to drink perhaps?”
“Maybe later,” said Ethan.
“The garden looks fabulous,” said Cameron. “Mia put all this together,” he told Ethan.
Again that drawn out stare, and the reason for it now known.
“I kind of had help,” I said. “Richard hired a party planner.”
Richard reached toward Cameron’s plate and picked a stray tortilla chip off it. He dipped it into the guacamole beside it and shoved it into his mouth with a grin.
Cameron rolled his eyes, amused.
“Did I see Andrew Harvey here?” said Ethan, sounding impressed.
“Shall I introduce you?” asked Cameron.
“I’d love that,” said Ethan.
“Come on,” said Cameron. “I also want to show you the view. It’s one of the best in Malibu.”
He led Ethan away.
“Who is Andrew Harvey?” I said.
“A newscaster,” said Richard. “His public image is Republican, family man, charity supporter. Impressive resume actually.”
“And his kink?” I said.
Richard leaned into my ear and whispered, “Pony play.”
“Really?”
“That’s confidential.” He raised his finger in a warning. “I’m going to check on the valets. I’ll be right back.”
I watched him go and then opened the fridge for a bottle of Perrier.
Shouting came from the south hallway.
“Fuck you too,” yelled a male, in an English accent.
Leaving my Perrier on the countertop, I headed off in that direction to investigate. Halfway down, I saw a man gripping the shoulders of another younger man in what looked like an aggressive embrace.
Nearing them, I took in the tall, dashing thirty something attacker, ready to swipe him away from the other guy.
“Excuse me,” I said. “What’s going on?”
“This is private,” he said. “Do us both a favor and piss off.”
“I will not. I live here.”
The tall guy let go of his victim. “I’ll meet you by the food table,” he told him. “Stay away from the fucking bar.”
His victim scrambled away, not even making eye contact with me.
“What just happened there?” I said, vaguely recognizing him as a member of a rock band but forgetting the name.
“Trust me, you don’t want to know,” he said. “Are you Richard’s girlfriend?”
“I am.”
He held out his hand. “I’m Karl.”
“And I don’t care.”
He turned away from me and knocked on Richard’s office door.
“That’s private,” I said.
“That’s why I’m knocking. Jeez, lighten up will you?”
I followed him in, ready to snap his head off.
He took in the office. “We can talk privately in here.”
Richard’s wallet was on his desk, and from the way he arched a brow Karl had seen it too.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “I’m not going to steal anything.”
Resting my fists on my hips I glared, throwing daggers. “What was that about then?”
“He’s my lead singer.”
“Oh?”
“Sorry you had to see that.” He looked frustrated. “He just got out of rehab.”
“Maybe you should be a little kinder to him then.”
“Look, I just took a Bud Light out of his hand.” He shook his head as though clearing a thought. “Bud Light today turns into crack tomorrow. I’ve been thro
ugh hell and back, and quite frankly I’m not willing to go through it again.”
My shoulders dropped their tension. “Oh, sorry.”
“I imagine it looked bad.” He shrugged. “He’s got the willpower of a girl.”
I glared at him.
He burst out laughing. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to offend.”
“Then maybe you shouldn’t open your mouth anymore.”
“You said you’re Richard’s girlfriend?”
“Yes.”
“How long have you been dating?”
Like it’s any business of yours. “A while.”
“How come I’ve never seen you at Chrysalis?”
“We’ll…”
“Are you his submissive?”
I went to speak, but the words didn’t come out.
“You don’t look too sure,” he said.
A ping on Richard’s phone drew my attention. “Excuse me. I have to get this.”
Karl didn’t need to know this wasn’t my cell. I walked around the desk. A tilt of my head indicated this conversation was over and after a few more seconds he took the hint and left. With the English guy gone, I opened the desk side drawer and dropped Richard’s wallet into it and made a mental note to tell him where I’d hidden it. I went to hide his phone there too when a new text lit up the screen.
Jasmine: Hey, Rick,
Rick? He hated being called Rick?
Jasmine: Ha! Have sneaked a text out. I’m freaking out. Am so in trouble. This is a complete mind-fuck. In a good way. LOL! Thursday night was fantastic. Everything is amazing. I’m in for a real punishment for sending this! Thank you for being here and helping my transition go smidle.
What the hell was smidle?
Jasmine: F*Auto-correct. Helping my transition go smoothly. Miss you. Can’t wait to see you again. Love you, babes!
Bile rose in my throat.
Thursday night? That was the evening I saw him with that pretty blonde. Pain laced my hand as I dug my teeth into it. I had a name to go with the face. That pretty supermodel face that right now I wanted to punch a hole through. Bitch.
Richard had removed photos of us from Facebook. Was this why? So Jasmine didn’t see them?
I threw the phone into the drawer. Slammed it shut.
Richard was staring at me from the doorway. “Are you giving our guests a hard time?”
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