Forgotten

by Lyn Lowe

  Judah didn’t have even a hint of it. That didn’t fit. Especially not from a mage. He should be more nervous, more careful. Instead, he seemed as though he truly expected people to automatically like him, to want to be his friend. Even Kaie, before the whole matter with the woman.

  “You’re not wrong,” Judah said with another smile. “I’m different. Most of the troops in the Twelfth, they’re sort of drafted. They were willing to pay the price, but they got sent out here because their mistresses had bodies to spare and the front lines were in need of those bodies. If it weren’t them, those mistresses would send someone else who wanted to pay the price more than they want to see fifty. There’s always someone else.”

  “Not you, though.”

  Judah shook his head. “Never had any mistress but the Empress. And my ma, if you want to count her as such. She was a soldier once too. An officer. Made it all the way to Eleventh Rit. Was up to be promoted to Tenth when she slipped up and lost someone important along with her commission, if you believe her stories. My da was just a fisherman, but he was a good man. Worked hard to pay for her drink and keep me safe and fed. Ma had no use for me, being a boy and not the girl she wanted, but she didn’t mind him keeping me.”

  “Sounds pleasant,” Kaie commiserated, half regretting this line of questioning. He didn’t want the other man’s life story.

  “It wasn’t awful. Da started teaching me the trade when I was eight, and that got me away from her often enough. It wouldn’t have been a bad life, except Ma had herself a baby girl when I was about thirteen. Da wanted to keep me, of course, but she wasn’t willing to give up the drink and there wasn’t enough money to keep both of us fed. Da wasn’t going to toss me out to the street, like she wanted. So he did all he could to make arrangements to see me cared for, and let me pick. I could go to the whorehouse, or join the military.”

  “And you picked this?” Kaie was genuinely surprised.

  “Sure. Wouldn’t you?”

  It seemed such an obvious choice. Judah clearly thought his way was by far the favorable option. He was looking to Kaie for agreement, maybe even confirmation, that he was right.

  It made Kaie wonder if there was something he didn’t understand about the profession he chose for his mythical father. It likely wasn’t important. Not anymore. So long as he wore the Aulis, no one cared what he was before or where he came from. Still, it was odd. And, since he lacked the necessary knowledge to argue the point, there was only one option. “Yeah, I guess I would.”

  Judah bobbed his head in commiseration of some common ground they now seemed to share. “So, you see, I’m different. Everyone else pays the price to be free. I pay them to stay free.”

  “What in the Abyss is this price you’re yammering on about?”

  The other man grinned and shifted forward, letting his arms dangle between his legs until his fingertips brushed the floor. “You’ve seen the brand we all get, right?”

  “It’s on my back,” He was supposed to be a pain in the ass, so Kaie didn’t make any attempt to keep the bite out of his answer.

  Judah’s smile turned into a smirk. “I suppose Gregor doesn’t let you see much of his back then, huh? Interesting.”

  It was a comment designed to get a rise out of him. Kaie couldn’t keep the flush from returning to his cheeks, but he didn’t give Judah the satisfaction of responding. After a minute the man gave up and, after a quick shrug, drew a circle in the dirt on the floor. He drew a second, larger, circle around the first, then a third around that one. Once he was done, he tapped the center of the first circle.

  “Soldier.” The second circle was next. “Family.” Finally, the last one. “Empress.”

  “Uh, ok?”

  Judah chuckled and drew a line that started just above the third circle. Slowly, he dragged his finger through vertically, stopping when he reached the second circle. “Everyone who signs up is required to serve two years. Trying to leave before that is desertion, and there’s not a soul in all Elysium who won’t want you dead, Urazian or otherwise. After, all we have to do is tell our commanding officer. The first two years are the Empress’s price.”

  He continued the line again, stopping when he reached the innermost circle. “The Family price is after four years. It’s why most of us sign up in the first place. As thanks for our service, the Empress allows us to choose four slaves we want free. It doesn’t even matter if they’re blood. Any four, no matter what their situation or who owns them.”

  He drew the line through the center circle now, stopping when he reached the other side. “After six years, we’ve paid the Soldier’s price. We’re free. We can move back home or anywhere else that suits our fancy. The women can take husbands – the official kind – and the men can be taken. The empire even starts paying us for our services, if we stay on.”

  “Everyone? Even if we don’t… serve?”

  “Yup. Even you.”

  “Does that happen a lot?”

  Judah shook his head. “Gods no. Most of us die long before we see a single iron penny.”

  “What are the other three prices then?”

  The other man smiled again. “Not prices, after that. Commendations. After eight years, we’re not soldiers anymore. We’re officers. Ten, we’re Rit. Twelfth Rit, to be precise” Judah drew another line, vertical this time, that started in the center of the first line and crossed through each of the circles. “Each promotion gains another line, one on any side, like a sundial. Each Rit earns more pay, more rewards. But it’s not about years served anymore. Each one has to be earned. Sometimes, one of us will earn it early, like our mutual friend. If I remember right, he made Twelfth Rit just about seven years in. It was quite the accomplishment. Set the capital all abuzz, as I understand it.”

  Kaie tugged at the Aulis, truly looking at it for the first time in well over a year. He clutched the iron penny at the end between his thumb and his finger, holding it close enough to examine it. A crude sort of fist was stamped on one side. It was, he knew now, to mark the Aulis as Gregor’s.

  The Ninth Rit earned himself the last name of Ironfist – one Kaie knew to be very accurate – sometime after earning his freedom. Anyone who obtained the rank of Tenth Rit was given an Aulis, which they could use to claim any slave not already wearing one. He could, in theory, walk into the Empress’s own bedchamber and claim one of her personal servants with the Aulis if he chose. Kaie suspected such an act wouldn’t lead to a long career, but there were no laws forbidding it. Anyone who reached Fifth Rit was given a second Aulis, and a third was awarded to the single woman holding the rank of First Rit.

  He flipped the coin over. The back wasn’t stamped, but rather carved. Three circles, just as Judah drew, with all the lines needed to denote Ninth Rit. He noticed the markings shortly after the Aulis was first put around his neck, but he never gave much thought to them. Now they were significant. Some of them were the same as the scars he wore on the back of his right shoulder.

  “So yeah. I’m different. Never been true slave until the minute they put the army’s brand on my back. But I’m also a mage, and that factors in too.”

  Kaie drew in a slow breath, fighting the urge to snap at the giant for this game. The man wasn’t wrong. Keeping track of everything was exhausting. And, despite his resolution not to trust this new, friendly Judah, Kaie felt himself slipping. The man oozed charisma, and it was much easier to take it at face-value than remember it was a front.

  He just couldn’t figure out what the trap actually was.

  “How have you been able to keep your magic a secret so long?”

  Judah laughed and shrugged. “It’s not half as impressive as it seems. Most people, the ones that get caught at any rate, have elemental magics. Mine is terrestrial, like the Namers. It’s harder for people to notice, unless you’re using it on ‘em a lot. I try not to use it at all, but when I do it’s Vin.”

  Kaie frowned. “I’m betting you think those are words, but all I’m hearing is gibberish.
”

  That won yet another laugh. “Vin! Magic of the body. When I really get a person, figure out what makes them go, I can sort of… Well, take over for them. Make ‘em move the way I want. I’m not so great at it. Being good takes practice, and practice gets you Hollowed. So I can’t make much happen. Maybe get a shake going in your leg, or make your nose itchy. I might even manage to close up a small cut, if I really worked at it. But some of those Namers? I hear they could make you dance like you were on fire, if it suited them.”

  “Ok…” He thought of Kissa and the way he lost control of his body when she murmured a few words. “And terrestrial? Like of the earth?”

  Judah’s eyebrow quirked upward, and Kaie wondered if the question revealed too much of his ignorance. But, after a moment, the other man shrugged again and answered. “Elemental used to be the most common throughout Elysium. That’s where you get your earth, wind, fire and water magics. They all have fancy names, but you’d have to ask someone else about those. It’s illegal in the empire, so we don’t spend much time learning it. Terrestrial is worldly magic, tied to the native creatures. It’s where the schools of body, mind and spirit magics come from. Vin, Ya and Wer.”

  “And the Namers use this kind?” He thought for a moment. “Mind, right?”

  Judah nodded slowly. “That’s right. Ya. And Wer. They have to be masters of both. Some of them use Vin, too, but that’s not the important one.”

  Kaie nodded as if it made sense. He wanted to ask a great deal more. Those were the magics that stole his memories from him. Whether he recovered them or not, he craved understanding of what was done to him. But he wasn’t going to risk exposing how little he knew about magic. Not to this man.

  “So…” Judah suddenly grew serious, the exuberance from a moment before evaporating. Kaie almost let out a sigh of relief, seeing the hard man he recognized from their previous lessons return. “How did you beat the Namers?”

  Kaie couldn’t help it. He laughed.

  How long, he wondered, did the man mull over the decision to woo that information out of him? How many days did Judah come to the lessons, telling himself that this time he would be nice and convince Kaie to share, only to lose his temper before they even began? Kaie was certain, quite suddenly, that the giant even went so far as to say those very words out loud before stepping into the garden most days. Certain, the same way he was certain Judah’s girl was going to betray Gregor.

  That was why Kaie was getting this friendly act. He was trying to win Kaie over. That was the trap he was hoping to snap closed. Then he could go back to figuring out ways to stab a knife in Kaie’s back.

  The giant scowled at him, no doubt furious for his laughter in the face of the man’s moment of vulnerability. “You don’t have a right to keep that trick,” the man grumbled. “Do you have any idea what it could mean to us? What a difference it would make? Even to Gregor’s plans! If we were safe from the Namers, we might actually stand a chance!”

  Kaie made an effort to swallow his laughter and reassemble his serious face. “Alright. I guess I can share what I know.”

  Judah’s eyes lit up.

  “How much do you meditate?”

  It was an idea inspired completely by Vaughan. It was nearly a year ago since the mousy boy was last on his mind, but lately thoughts of the kid kept creeping up on him. They were useful today, as the sum and total of Kaie’s knowledge of magic came from that boy.

  Judah considered for a moment, tapping one finger against his chin, the very picture of thoughtfulness. “Not much, really. No one in my squad is likely to miss something like that, and I never really sorted out how to explain it. I manage to get in about ten minutes each morning. I tell ‘em I’m praying. No one questions that too much.”

  He nodded, pretending it mattered. “That’s fine. Good. When the pain comes, you’ll need to go into a meditative state. Otherwise it will be too overwhelming, and they’ll have you.”

  Judah’s right eyebrow tilted upward again. “A meditative state? Truly?”

  “Yeah. I don’t remember doing it before, but the people who knew me, they said I used to meditate all the time.” Vaughan said the exact opposite, the one time he ever asked about it, actually. “I managed to completely detach myself from my body when they were working on me. They might not need to master body magic – Vin – but they sure as Fate’s tits know how to make it hurt.”

  “Alright… I’ll buy it. What next?”

  “Then you have to pull the magic into you, let it fill you up.”

  Feel the Jhoda, Bruhani. Feel life beating through your heart, tingling through every part of you. The Jhoda is the world’s lifeblood. You are its vessel.

  Kaie half expected to hear the tentative knock on the side of the wall, see Vaughan’s head push into the room, hear the boy mutter apologies for interrupting. Hope wasn’t the word for it, but there was a part of him waiting for it.

  “You have to channel more through you than the Namer is channeling. It’s a balance. Not enough to burn up, not so little that they can just rip through you.”

  “How much, exactly? How do I know when I’m at that balance?”

  “I can’t tell you how to know it.” The man believed him. That was the goal, of course, but it meant that Judah believed there was a way to defend against the Namers, a way to fight them. Maybe there was. He managed, after all. But this was certainly not it. “It’ll be different, depending on the Namer and how hard they’re trying to pull you apart.”

  “So, I just guess?”

  He shook his head. “You’ll feel it. When you find the balance, the pain will recede. Not all the way, but enough that you can return to yourself.”

  “Leave the meditative state, you mean? Isn’t that risky? What if the Namer’s just backing off on the power of their assault, to lure you out and overwhelm you once you’re vulnerable again?”

  Kaie rested his palms on his knees and stared at them, surprised at how guilty he felt. He meant to send this man out, thinking he held a defense against the Namers. Kaie meant his enemy to be defenseless, when they came, and be removed for him.

  But Judah didn’t deserve that. Not just because he was upset at the wrong person. And, despite his determination to see Kaie undone, he really was Gregor’s friend. Kaie couldn’t even convince himself to doubt that. The man would walk through a damned fire, if the Rit asked it of him. Going through with this would mean robbing Gregor of one of the only two people in the city he could trust.

  He would be responsible for making another Hollow.

  “I can’t do this.”

  “Huh?”

  He looked up, hardly able to meet Judah’s confused gaze. “It’s plenty risky. Mainly because it’s horse shit. You want to keep from being made into a Hollow? Run as far as you can, and don’t get caught. Don’t ever get caught.”

  Judah’s face pinched around a point formed at his mouth. “And the meditation?”

  “Who knows? I’ve never tried it. Maybe it works. But a lot of people know how to meditate and, like you said, I’m the only one who’s made it through.”

  “So you lied?”

  Kaie rolled his eyes. The giant might be the most loyal person in the Urazin Empire, but the guy wasn’t quick. “Yeah.”

  The grim look on Judah’s face didn’t fit quite right. It didn’t seem like an expression that belonged there. Kaie knew anger and distrust, but this was something else. Hopelessness. He sighed and ran a hand over his face, pushing the long blonde hair away from his face. “So everything was a lie. You’ve never survived a Namer.”

  “No, that part was true. I just can’t teach you how. I don’t know how I did it the last time and I don’t remember anything about the ones before that. I told you the only advice I’ve got.”

  “Run?” Judah shook his head. “That won’t keep any mage safe. I’ve seen it before. Once a Namer marks us, there’s no place far enough they won’t bring us back Hollow. Gregor’s helping you, Kale. You owe him more than
this crap.”

  “I can’t give what I don’t have,” Kaie said.

  He stood, carefully straightening the wrinkles forming in his shirt from sitting. No one was going to notice them, but Kaie couldn’t bring himself to leave them.

  “I need to get back. It’s been an enlightening lesson, Judah.”

  The other man glanced up, his warm face devoid of any expression whatsoever. “Who’s side are you on, Kale Whoreson? Do you even know?”

  Kaie glanced backward, a true frown tugging at his lips despite his best efforts to keep his face just as neutral. “Of course I do.”

  Judah sighed, sounding genuinely sad. “Then you better figure out what you do have, and what you will give. Because Gregor can’t wait much longer, and when he makes his move, no amount of play-acting or saying you forget is going to protect you. You’ve worked real hard to tie yourself to his side, and you’ve done a masterful job. His enemies will assume you’re with him, and he won’t keep you safe if you aren’t. Be careful that you don’t lose the opportunity to make that decision for yourself.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” Kaie muttered as he pushed his way out the door.

  Fourteen

  The blow slipped past his guard and caught him in the shoulder, making half his arm go numb. Kaie cursed and shook out his hand, trying to get feeling back. It was a mistake. On a good day, Gregor might let him get away with it, but the Rit was not in a forgiving mood.

  “You won’t teach Judah.” The point was emphasized with another jab aimed for Kaie’s face. He ducked it, barely, and heard the whistle as Gregor’s fist brushed past his right ear. He expected this conversation the night before. He would prefer another talk about the Rit’s marriage prospects and sex with centaurs.

  “No. I can’t teach Judah. If you think back, you’ll remember I told you I don’t have a gods damned idea how I got through it.”

  “That’s not what I need Kale.”

  Another jab, aimed for his face again. Gregor didn’t usually focus so much attention on places that would show. Better than his kidneys, but it didn’t bode well for Kaie’s face.