by Ladew, Lisa
She did laugh lightly, but it was cynical. He wanted appreciation, joy, fun.
"What? Truth or dare? We don't have any games to play," she said.
"What's your favorite card game?" he asked.
"Are you teasing me? We don't have any cards."
I would never tease you, he thought. Unless I had your clothes off and your clit under my tongue. Then I would tease you until you thought you were going to die.
Coleton waged war with himself internally. Then he gave up. He wanted her, there was no way around it. There was no use trying to pretend he didn't. He might as well face that fact and try to function anyway. Because he knew he would never get her. He would just keep his fantasies to himself.
"I bought cards," he said. "At the store while you were looking for sheets and pillowcases."
Something shined hard and solid in her gaze but he couldn't tell what it was. Finally she nodded. "Spades is my favorite game, but we need two more people."
"You've never played spades with just two people?"
She shook her head. "I didn't know it was possible."
He smiled widely and left the room for a moment. When he came back in, he had the cards in his hand. He waved them at her. "Okay, we play just like normal, but first we have to prepare the deck."
He took out a deck of cards, discarded the jokers and the instructional cards, then shuffled quickly. He placed the cards between them and began to explain. "You will take two cards, but only look at the first one. Decide if you want to keep it or discard it. If you want to keep it, don't look at the second one and put it in the discard pile. If you want to discard, you do, and then you keep the second one. Then I will do the same until we go through the entire deck. Then we can play."
A broad smile broke over Aria's face and she nodded excitedly. It was the first genuine and unrestrained smile he had seen. He thought it made her look like a goddess. Coleton opened his heart to her, because that was the only way he knew how to function. He knew if he wasn't careful, he would leave this tiny apartment completely in love with her, but he also knew that could happen even if he was careful. He fell in love easily, and was hurt easily. But he would push forward and drive on after she broke his heart like he always did. If he was still alive.
They worked through the deck until they each had a hand of cards to play with. Aria caught on quickly. She made her bid the first hand, plus two bags, but he had bid more and was winning. She seemed to genuinely enjoy the game and he was glad he had suggested it. They started a second hand and he vowed to try harder this time. He knew she would do better.
"You are good. When did you learn to play spades?" he asked her, wanting to know more about her.
"At the FBI National Academy. Before I made Sergeant, I took vacation and attended the twelve week course they put on for law enforcement leaders. It's only supposed to be for lieutenants and above, but my parents got me in. I stayed in the barracks and played spades most weekends and some nights."
"Your father was in the FBI?"
Aria shook her head. "My father was the chief of police in Westwood Harbor nineteen years ago. My mother was an FBI agent. "
Coleton looked at her, dumbfounded. She was the product of a police chief and an FBI agent? There was no way he would ever have a chance with her, his father being one of the biggest criminals in the country. His heart fell just a little bit as he realized that he had been holding on to hope that maybe after this was all over, if he were still around, there could be some sort of a chance between them. But that was blown away like smoke. People like her barely acknowledged people like him.
Coleton excused himself for a moment and headed to the bathroom to wash his face. Once again, his father was the bane of his existence. He gathered himself together, pushed the thoughts of ever knowing Aria on a more intimate level away, and returned to the kitchen.
Aria smiled at him when he sat down and he immediately forgot his intentions. He was glad to see that she was becoming more comfortable with him. He picked up his cards and proceeded to take her next trick.
"Sucker," she hissed under her breath.
Coleton chuckled. "What's the matter? Overbid, did you?"
Aria bared her teeth at him and threw out her next card. He laughed and responded in kind. They were neck and neck until the last four books when she sucked out the last of his spades with the ace and queen and then threw a club. He was out of clubs.
He was the one who had overbid. She set him.
"Ha!" she screamed, triumphant. She flipped the last of his cards off the table with her cards, then put her right hand to her forehead with her index finger and thumb extended. "Loser!" she yelled and turned in a small circle.
Coleton watched her, amused. When she came all the way back around, she dropped her hand quickly and her eyes widened. The look on her face showed absolute shame.
"Oh my God. I can't believe I did that. That's the way we treated each other in the Academy. I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry."
Coleton laughed. "I get it. Don't be sorry. You set someone, you have to razz them. It's the law. My buddies and I treated each other the same way." He stopped speaking for a moment, and then recited, "Know that a word suddenly shot from the tongue - is like an arrow shot from the bow. O tongue, you are an endless treasure. O tongue, you are also an endless disease."
He recited the poem lightly, thrilled that it had come into his head. He had missed the poems during the months that they were gone. He had been reading poetry daily, so he knew that wasn't the issue. It was the running. The anxiety. The dead way he felt inside. Aria made him feel alive again in a way he couldn't keep hidden. She might think it was weird - he always ran that risk - but if she did, he needed to know that now.
She cocked an eyebrow at him, her face relieved. "You did it again."
He smiled. "Did what?"
"Said something ... beautiful that changed the moment."
Coleton's smile widened. She still might think it was weird, but if she also thought it was beautiful, that was ok. "I do that sometimes."
She studied him closely, and again he had the feeling that she was filing that fact about him away, possibly to be brought up at a later date, possibly not. He could see by her facial expressions how guarded she was, and he thought she was probably holding back, not wanting to get very close to him. The thought saddened him. He wanted to get close to her emotionally and physically. Even in this inappropriate setting.
Aria sank back in her chair, turning her questioning to less intimate matters. "Where did you learn to play spades?" she said in a small voice.
"In the Army."
Her eyes widened. "You were in the Army?"
Coleton pressed his lips together. "Well, yes and no. I joined the Army at seventeen, wanting to get out of California and away from my father and not having any other way to do it. He had cut me off from any financial support and made my aunt throw me out. He thought it would force me to come crawling to him. Instead I tried to go to school, but I couldn't afford it, so the Army was my only other option since there was no way I was going to ask my dad for help. I made it through boot camp and then was shipped off to my AIT class for advanced training for the job I was going to have."
"What job were you going to have?"
"98X-ray," he said with a hard and humorless grin. "Military Intelligence."
Aria's eyebrows rose. "I've heard that's a very hard job to get."
Coleton shook his head. "People think you have to be super-smart to get it, but you don't. You just have to have an affinity for languages and communication."
Aria nodded her head. "And you do?"
Coleton shrugged. "I guess. I passed all the tests."
Aria flapped her hand at him. Go on.
Coleton thought for a moment and then spoke. "The school for military intelligence is the longest in the Army. It can take over two years as you learn a new language. They send you off to the Defense Language Institute in Monterey Bay and that's where you stay unt
il you are done. I was nine months into my training when it happened."
Coleton scooched his chair out from under the table and pulled up his pant leg, showing her his scars.
Chapter 16
Aria drew in a breath and covered her mouth with her hand.
He knew they were ugly. "We were on a live fire exercise. Someone zigged when they should have zagged and a bullet smashed through my lower leg, exploding my tibia and fibula."
Aria's eyes were still wide. "That happened during training?"
Coleton nodded grimly. "Yep, one of the instructors accidentally shot me. I spent weeks in the hospital and had pins put in. I even have a bit of a metal rod in there." He banged his fist on his lower leg. "I'm part bionic man."
"You don't have a limp or anything."
Coleton smiled sadly. "They did a good job with me. When it was all over, they gave me the option of going back to training or getting out of the military for good. My heart had never been truly into being a soldier. I really just wanted to gain my independence and get away from my father. So when they offered me a deal I took it."
"A deal?"
"They offered me an exit package of $650 a month for the rest of my life for my pain and suffering, or $165,000 in a onetime lump sum."
Aria leaned forward, her eyes bright. "Which did you take?" she asked in a breathless whisper.
"I took the lump sum and used it to start my business."
"You have a business?"
"I do. I employ some of the top minds in the app-creating industry. We mostly make games."
"Like games I would have on my phone?"
Coleton nodded. "Exactly."
"And that's where your money comes from?" she asked, unabashedly.
"Only all of it," he said. He didn't mind her questions. He wanted to share himself.
She shook her head slowly and disbelievingly. "So you've never taken a dime from your father?"
"Not since I was a kid."
A slow and genuine smile broke across Aria's face and Coleton was struck by the beauty of it. It made her cool blue eyes turn warm, and completely eliminated the attitude she always seemed to have. She leaned even farther over the table. "Anything I might have heard of?"
"Have you ever heard of Hive Town?" Coleton asked, giving her the name of his company's most recent release. He hadn't designed or worked on an app since he left Westwood Harbor ten months ago, but his designers and coders were still hard at work for him. Luckily he had a great manager who was only increasing his assets.
Aria shook her head. "I don't actually play games on my phone, but I promise I'll look it up as soon as I get my phone back. Do you have a phone?"
Coleton shook his head. "It blew up in the car."
Aria nodded and a comfortable silence fell over the two of them.
"So what do we do now?" she said.
"Spades."
They played four more hands and even though Aria had gotten the hang of it and seemed to be slightly better than he was, he managed to win two of them. Lunch time came quickly and as hunger started to distract him, he asked her if she would like lunch.
"I would love some lunch, but I can put something together."
"Don't be silly. If you're willing to do the dishes, I'm willing to cook."
"Deal," she said.
Coleton pushed his chair back from the table and stood slowly. "I'll be back," he said in his passable Arnold Schwarzenegger impression, watching her face carefully to see if she thought it was stupid.
She looked surprised for a moment and then laughed merrily. He loved the laugh. It was deep and throaty and he couldn't get enough of it. He would do whatever he could to hear another one.
"That's pretty good," she said.
Coleton walked to the refrigerator and started taking out the fixings for sandwiches. "When he became governor, I figured I better practice. I knew it would provide endless opportunities for anyone who could do a decent impression."
"Do another one," she said and he smiled. She was bossy, and he loved it.
"You'll get more from being a peacemaker than a warrior," he said, his voice unnaturally deep and accented.
She laughed again. "He said that?"
"He said a ton of things you wouldn't believe."
"Another," she begged.
He thought for a moment, trying to tease out a good one, his hands pulling rolls from a bag, his back to her. "Love stories are built around people's idiosyncrasies."
She didn't respond and he stiffened for a moment. He chanced a glance at her over his shoulder and saw her cheeks were colored lightly. Was she blushing? She smiled weakly at him. "He said that?"
"The man is a mystery."
She shook her head. "How do you remember these things?"
"It's a gift I guess. I've always been able to recall quotes and poems and song lyrics. Especially something that moves me or seems unusual or beautiful." He finished assembling the two sandwiches and brought them to the table.
Her face turned thoughtful and contemplative and she graced him with a rare smile. Then she said something that really surprised him. "I remember something you said."
He looked at her questioningly.
"You said I’ve always known my father would kill me eventually, and I guess I just got tired of waiting around for it to happen. What did you mean by that?"
Anxiety gripped Coleton's heart and he waited a moment before speaking to allow the iron fist to loosen. "There's this dream that I have. I have it at least twice a month. I've been having it since I was young. Maybe eleven or twelve. In it, my father advances upon me with a gun in his hand. The gun is bigger than any gun I've ever seen in my life. He points it at me and tells me either I do what he wants or I'm dead. I yell at him that I will never do what he wants and he shoots me. In the dream, I always feel the pain of the bullet entering my heart, and the coldness of my blood draining out of my body. And then I wake up."
Aria looked at him closely, and he could see the concern in her eyes. "And what? You think it's really going to happen? Like it's some sort of prophecy?"
Irritation flared behind his eyes for a moment but he let go. He knew he was sensitive about this. "Do I think my father is going to eventually kill me? Yes I do. He's just that ruthless. There has never been anyone that he wanted to kill that he wasn't able to."
Aria reached across the table and grasped his hand. Coleton's heart sped up at the touch. He wanted to cover her hand with his, but didn't quite dare.
"Until now," Aria said, warmth in her manner. "He's not going to win this time. He's going to be put away for the rest of his life. We're going to make sure of it. We are going to fight him, and we're going to win. I know it."
Coleton shook his head. "No one ever wins against my father. No one ever fights against my father. He's too scary. Too connected. Too ruthless. "
"You're going to win. We're going to win. Your father's time is over."
Coleton felt her words in his heart but he couldn't quite believe them. He had never even been able to stand up to his father. Never in person. He'd always run and hid from his father and even to this day, that's what he was doing.
No you're not, a small voice said in the back of his mind. You aren't hiding. You are just trying to stay alive long enough to stand up to him. That's what you will be doing next Tuesday on the stand. You will be standing up to him for the first time in your life.
Coleton felt the truth of these words and they loosened something that had been tight inside him since he first found out the truth about his father. Was she right? Was he going to make it out of this alive and a free man?
Chapter 17
Aria watched Coleton put his last card on the table. She knew he had her this time. She threw down her own card and shook her head. "You win. Nice job."
She stood and stretched. "My butt is getting sore. I have to stand for a little bit. Let's take a break."
He nodded and Aria walked into the living room, checking the clock as she
went. It was already late afternoon. The time was flying by now that they had something to do. The sound of that same baby crying drifted in from somewhere.
"Do you notice that baby is always crying?" he said from behind her.
Aria turned to look at him. His face was pinched with worry.
"I wonder what's wrong with it. I wonder if there is anything we can do?" he said.
Aria shook her head decisively. "No one can know that we're here. There is nothing that we can do."
Coleton looked at her glumly and nodded. She could tell he didn't like her decision.
He sat on the couch. "It's just always crying. Don't you feel bad for it?"
"Of course I feel bad for it, but it's not our fight. We need to focus on our situation."
Coleton put his own gaze on his knees and dangled his hands between his legs. She didn't like the look on his face. "Babies shouldn't have to fight," he said softly.
Aria fell silent and walked around the living room for several minutes. He was right of course, but so was she. She bent backwards slightly and stretched her chest and her stomach. How many more days did they have in this apartment?
Someone beat aggressively on the wall from the next unit and a man's voice yelled, "Shut that goddamn kid up!"
Aria winced. That didn't sound good. She looked at Coleton and weighed their options. They weren't in Westwood Harbor. No one should recognize them.
She nodded at Coleton. "Okay, go."
Coleton smiled and stood up immediately, making his way over to the door. She followed him outside and immediately the crying got louder. Coleton walked to the next apartment and listened carefully, then raised his hand and knocked on the door.
Several moments passed and the door did not open. Coleton knocked again. Aria sat down on the green plastic bench between their apartment and the one next to it, watching the parking lot, but with one careful eye on Coleton.
She heard the door Coleton was knocking on open and the sound of the baby crying get even louder. It tugged at her heartstrings. The poor pathetic thing sounded weak and in pain.
"Hi," she heard Coleton say. "I was, ah, just visiting a friend and I heard your baby crying."