by Love Belvin
“These notices of evaluations for the RSfALC business wing. What’s this all about? Many of the staff are confused, and more feel threatened by this.”
He was referring to the notification of impending staff evaluations I had sent out two weeks ago to all administrative staff members at Redeeming Souls for Abundant Living in Christ. These employees had every reason to be afraid, but I wouldn’t disclose that to him.
“Annual evaluations are a common practice in many institutions around the world. You’re hired and need a tool to assess your output.”
“But how does it work?” he asked with anxious curiosity.
“Based on each employee’s job description at the time of hire, they will be evaluated on how well they’re performing said duties. It’s that simple.” I tried keeping it brief.
By the time he retired as head of the business-front of the church, I’d be sending several indolent, incompetent and useless employees behind him. If we wanted to be taken seriously in our mission to redeem souls, we needed qualified candidates helping us toward it.
“So, if their supervisor approves, all will be well?”
“If I approve,” I corrected. “I will be the evaluator for all sixty staff members alongside their managers.”
His face fell as the realization settled upon him. “Ezra, you’re looking to fire people if this doesn’t go over well?”
“I will be relieving employees who aren’t advancing our agenda in their current seats. I’m sure this process won’t create a problem, rather than eliminate lingering ones,” I offered as I stood, gesturing my goodbye.
It was time to end this meeting. If not soon, I’d be late in returning to the lab. The office door opened just inches before I made it to the knob.
“Oh!” Marva shrilled. “Ezra, it’s good to see you.”
“Sister Graham,” I greeted, still advancing to the door and happy I’d decided to leave when I did.
“Ezra…”
I glanced over my shoulder. “Yes, Bishop?”
He pointed to Marva. “Please send him my calendars for the next three months, dear.”
Dear?
“Oh, but we’re not adhering to that anym—”
“I know, but I want to make sure he’s picked them all up.” My father interrupted Marva’s scolding.
“I have your calendars already, sir,” I assured not wanting that interaction with Marva, his lover.
“Yeah, but hers are always updated, so we know we’re on one accord.” He flicked his downturned fingers, once again dismissively then turned away.
This was always his flagrant abrasive spirit.
“I’ll have Sherry reach out to you later on today,” I informed Marva.
“Okay, son. I’ll be waiting.”
I froze in place, unable to move. Out of all the covert inappropriate conduct at the leadership level of Redeeming Souls, this was one of those that infuriated me the most.
I am not your son.
Marva stood at attention, detecting my sudden unease. I knew I could easily correct her and tally the many infractions occurred since she strolled into the bishop’s office without so much as knocking. I understood this as her weary eyes surveyed my tense facial features. It would take but a few words of correction, nothing that I couldn’t deliver effectively and cause her rebuke. Marva was only out of comportment because of her indecorous relationship with my father. She was in true nature a demure woman, generally milquetoast, organically submissive and eager to serve in whatever capacity required. She was in her late fifties and of a generation that honored authority and could easily be corrected. But I digressed, nodded my head and continued out of the door.
Too many strong energies at one event.
And to think it was my doing. I sat quietly, trying to contemplate my next method of engaging Alexis. I needed more information about her and more vitally to inform her of my interest. Admittedly, I was no good at this. I never worked to gain the interest of a woman. A man in my position—even as a young boy—never had to work. It was more of an art form to gently reject women vying for my attention.
She joined the meeting late and from the moment she entered the back area of the restaurant, I could tell she was discomposed. As the hostess waited on it, she peeled a black trench coat from her leggy figure as she eyed the table suspiciously. I tried not to squirm in my seat with success, suddenly doubting the appropriateness of the restaurant selection. DiFillippo’s wasn’t exactly conducive to brainstorming a not-for-profit organization. However, I had to find out how to allure her without being explicit in my pursuit. I hadn’t expected her tardiness. That’s something I didn’t tolerate.
But she finally arrived.
In an oversized cable-knit sweater with an asymmetrical hem that showed off her toned thighs under distressed sandblast jeans, and cheap pink suede booties, Alexis looked undeniably delectable. Not impressive fashion, but I could work with her. Alexis hair was big, wild like brillo if unkempt. That unusual volume and natural style appealed to me very much, as did her pear-shape frame. She had small breasts, but ample bum that couldn’t be conceal even if she tried. Her cacao skin was more like mahogany tonight; it varied with her, but I couldn’t deny my exceptional attraction to her gloriously swarthy skin. Alexis didn’t wear makeup often, and her tone could take on different shades depending on the lighting. Her deep set eyes were shimmering honey saucers and while her mouth was narrow and lips were small, they were deliciously plumped with promises of sensual pleasure.
In no time, she was able to put aside her discomfit to contribute to the conversation. I waited keenly to see what she’d order, but she declined to see a menu. That made me uneasy. Everyone else had a plate in front of them and she’d barely touched her water after being here for close to an hour. Yet, she wasn’t shy; Alexis had lots to share with the group about her research and offered to assist others with their assignments. She just never paid me much regard since her arrival.
“Can I refill your drink, sir?” That question broke my reverie.
I shook my head, slightly annoyed. “No thanks.” Then I was struck with a thought. “You know, DiFillippo’s is known for their superb crème brûlée. Perhaps you can try it and let me know, Alexis.”
Her honey saucers raked over to me and I could feel the tightening of my pants from a sprung erection.
Apprehensive about my offer and clearly meditating an answer, she chewed her bottom lip, causing mine to part from the mere action.
“Ummmmm…I’m good…Ezra.” She finally got it right. No formalities between us. No need. “I ummmmm… have dinner plans when I leave here.” She attempted a friendly smile before turning back to her conversation.
A conversation I couldn’t care less about as I had my own agenda for being here, and she was it. At least I got that. But more pending, who did she have dinner plans with? That hurled me into another web of contemplation.
“If we have, at least, three women needing tutoring, we can bring them together and do a group session,” Alexis recommended as she tried stifling a yawn.
“But you said they’d be needing help in different areas of the GED,” Miranda challenged.
“Yeah, but I’ve seen the layout of the state exam. It’s broken down into sections. Unless they’ve had recent schooling, they can always use a refresher on all areas.”
“But what if they don’t want it?” Miranda’s eyes narrowed. Her tone was clipped.
Throughout this meeting, when my attention was fastened to the inscrutable Alexis, I’d noticed an unusual air of cattiness from Miranda. I didn’t know her outside of Thaddeus. She’d been attending Redeeming Souls for about a year and made her company evident by joining many of our social events, particularly those for the singles at our church.
A beautiful girl—half African American, half Mongolian—she was sure to flaunt her exotic features to every eligible bachelor in sight. Only Miranda didn’t fraternize with just any available man in our organization; she showed excl
usivity for those on my leadership board. And while her prowling behavior is commonplace and exactly what I warn my men against, she was successful in captivating the attention of one on my team. Thaddeus. They dated a year before he proposed to her. I was sure his desire was to finally indulge in those striking features and her aspiration was to be attached to power.
My question now was why she’d been so discourteous to Alexis and Lillian. There was a story here, but I had no time to seek it out as my patience had been wearing thin with Alexis. I needed to know if she was being courted, but couldn’t inquire with Lillian when I learned of her name and multiple occupations. I couldn’t disclose my true interest; not yet at least. And now, here, Miranda was proving to be another distraction with her crudeness.
Alexis shrugged. “If there’re any who rather not sit through a fully encompassing curriculum, we can offer a schedule where they can determine which areas they need help in and show up for those. The important thing is we maximize the few resources we have. We have a volunteer to tutor, why not take advantage of that and get a full overview?”
“Just seems like policing and demanding their time instead of providing a service to me.” It was now Miranda’s turn to shrug her shoulders.
“I’ve worked in public service for almost ten years now and have a good understanding of setting boundaries and parameters for the services you provide and the public needs. When there’s a demand or need for what you’re providing, people will adhere to your parameters.”
“I agree with Lex,” Lillian chimed in. “She’s been at the rec working with the transient and underserved populations for like…ever. She’s in the trenches with them and when they get out of line, she gets on their level. They respect her for it. There’s a time to play good cop and bad cop.” She offered Miranda an apologetic smile.
Miranda rolled her eyes. I was surprised to see her so bold.
A phone went off. That mere sound raised my hackles. I didn’t like nuances from devices interrupting meetings, even if I wasn’t facilitating. It was Alexis’. The table quieted as she took the call.
“Wait a minute!” she demanded, eyes wide with anxiousness. “Speak slowly and repeat that.” Then she reached behind for her purse. “Okay,” she nodded as though visualizing a phenomenon. “Just keep dumping the bucket. I’ll call Pablo now. I’m on my way.” Before I knew it, she was out of her seat and headed out of the private area. I inclined in my seat, suddenly on alert. “Sorry, guys,” she spoke to the table. Family emergency.”
“Is it Aunt Remah?” Lillian asked, concerned.
“No biggie.” Alexis shook her head dismissively, but not answering. “I’ll call for you to fill me in later.” Then she headed out.
I was out of my seat and on her heels. Before she could ask for someone to assist, I’d motioned for the hostess. While her coat was being retrieved Alexis rotated and found me. Her face tightened in surprise.
“The hostess is getting your coat now. Can I have her call a cab for you, or did you drive here?” It was more a matter of gleaning more information from her, than being courteous.
She shook her head. “I’m fine. Thank you.” She glanced behind me. “You didn’t have to leave the group. I’ll be okay.”
“I was actually hoping to catch a moment of your time tonight after the meeting.” That sent her eyes wild again. I had to remind myself that my approach had to be delicate. “I was wondering if we could”—Christ. Here we go—“go out together. Perhaps have dinner.”
That sounded so juvenile.
The hostess appeared with her coat. Alexis began putting it on right away reminding me of the fleeting time.
“I’m not prepared to take you up on your offer for the self-defense classes right now…funding issues. Other than that, is everything okay?” she asked, backing up toward the door. I followed her, needing an answer immediately.
“Of course. It’s just that after some time, I’ve finally built up the nerve to ask you out tonight, after the meeting and here you are running out on me.” I lied…somewhat.
Her neck twisted and chin dropped. “Pastor….Brother…Ez-Ezra,” she stammered, clearly boggled. She’d gotten it correct earlier. “I think after bumping heads with you at my job, we know you’re nobody’s shy. You should give me more credit than that if you want to ask for my time.” There was something refreshing in her bluntness. Even I had to admit my weak ploy.
Raising my palms in the air, I offered a forfeiting nodded. “You’re right. I’m being coy. It’s just that I’m not used to this type of arrangement.” Her expression turned dubious. I didn’t understand why, but proceeded instead of exploring it; she had to go. “If I could invite you out to dinner next week with my friends and me, it would mean a lot if you would agree to it.” I didn’t recognize my own voice. Again, it could’ve been because I rarely asked women out, and hadn’t done so in nearly twenty years. I was sure to include my friends to avoid any apprehensions of her being alone with me. I could sense a dubiety to men.
Her eyes bounced rapidly. She was thinking. And just when I thought she’d decline, she uttered, “Okay.”
“I am very pleased with your answer, Alexis.” I assured as I took her at the small of her back, guiding her to the door. It was a brisk March evening, and without my coat. I was at a disadvantage, but I had to see this through.
At the curb, she turned toward the corner.
“Are you going to your car?” I asked.
“Try the subway.” She didn’t look at me when she answered.
“Oh, no.” I took her at the elbow, gently clasping. I snapped toward the concierge for a cab. Within seconds one screeched.
“I can’t afford a taxi to Harlem,” I heard her protest.
“I don’t expect you to expend for it.” I ushered her inside the back seat.
“How much to Harlem?” I asked the driver.
I vaguely heard an amount and peeled him a few bills as I studied her preoccupied expression, wondering what her emergency was. Why is she leaving so abruptly?
But I never asked. As the taxi’s rear lights grew faint, I stood at the curb with my mind racing a faster distance about how I would capture the attention of one Alexis Grier. When I finally turned back into the restaurant, I was met with curious eyes as I reached our private area. I ignored them all, focused on Thaddeus.
“A word, please, Thaddeus.” I gestured to the corner.
“Pastor?” he asked when he arrived, our backs turned to the waiting table.
“I need your assistance, perhaps your experience.”
“Anything, sir,” he assured.
Lex
“This is some shit,” I pushed the medicinal smolder through my nose.
I needed this after the run-in I’d just had with Carmichael. Dude was so…bizarre.
“Pretty good,” Pablo agreed as he took the spliff from my pinched fingers.
“Mmmmhmmm,” I sighed, finally feeling relaxed. I glanced over to Pablo. “You gotta girlfriend?”
He choked on his smoke. “No! No…” He coughed. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”
I didn’t want to laugh at his near death experience, but I couldn’t help it. I held my belly as I croaked out a good cackle.
“Why?” I asked, trying to calm myself. “You’re a good looking guy.”
I pulled again.
“You’re a good looking girl and I don’t see a man in here.”
“Touché,” I muttered taking the blunt from him.
I was pushing this issue for Ms. Remah. I knew I wanted a man, but didn’t think I needed one. However, she was right. I didn’t want to keep putting off the idea of marriage because I felt I had more pressing accomplishments like finishing school and then possibly buying a home. Those things had always taken precedence over an urgent need of a man.
Plus, that Ezra Carmichael was getting to me. I needed to clip his wings and cut him off at the pass. He may have been fine, saturated with swag, but I wasn’t in the business of dati
ng preachers. Then why did I feel and undeniable pull to him? An instinctive, electric pull that stirred my damn core? I rolled my eyes, not wanting to get lost in thoughts about him.
“But you must be fucking somebody,” I pushed.
Pablo’s surprised eyes jumped over to me and I lunged to his face, meeting his lips to blow out. He croaked a groan. Then I slipped my tongue in his mouth, his met mine…and then there was… Nothing. Absolutely nothing. My tongue circled his. His teeth clanked against mine. I withdrew and handed him back the spliff. I lay back against the couch, feeling defeated and as confused as ever.
“So, what’s my tab up to now?”
I sulked internally. If there was no chemistry with Juan in a simple kiss, then my life was doomed to dating preachers. That was the test. I had to feel him out before taking Carmichael seriously. The decision was made. If the minister was sincere in his proposal, I’d be going out with him.
Should I buy a Bible to prepare?
Fuck!
Ezra
“So, Alexis, you’re studying sociology, one of Hunter’s accelerated programs.” I noted as I wiped my mouth with the linen napkin. “What track, specifically, will your bachelor’s degree be in?”
She sat upright in her seat, showing signs of unease.
I’m trying to warm you to this event, Alexis!
“Sociology,” she answered succinctly, mirroring all of her responses this evening at dinner.
“And your Master’s?”
Alexis stretched her neck, another telltale sign of discomfort. Then she took another sip of her water. Or boredom?
“Science in Social Research specializing in Urban Sociology and Immigration.”
“So, is that where you met Lillian?” Thaddeus chimed in. “At Hunter?”
I caught the flash furrowing of her eyebrows followed by a faint and warm smile in the same speed. So, she’s fond of that Lillian. Uhn-hmm…
“No,” she answered.