Maybe things would have been different if Jax was the one to throw the ball. Instead, he’d been the one to help her up, brush her off, and get the bleeding coming from her nose to stop. He whispered in my ear that he had the situation under control, meaning he knew what this kind of treatment would warrant him.
“I’m so sorry.” Apologizing wasn’t going to get me in her good graces, not while a paper towel was keeping the blood from pouring out of her nose.
“Don’t mind him. My brother likes to take extremes when meeting sexy women.” While Jax joked, the crowd of people laughed. I honestly felt horrible about what had happened, but I was outnumbered. Angrily, I shoved out of the entourage and left the cafeteria.
My mind was on that snicker of a smile that I’d caught right before the ball clipped her in the face. Everything about this girl was perfection, and I didn’t even know her name. Since Jax always went for blondes, I felt like he’d dipped into my pot. She never noticed that we were twins, because the moment she saw him everyone in the room disappeared, including yours truly. It was as if he was hooking up with her to spite me, but I knew that couldn’t be possible. We didn’t fight like that, not about women.
At that point in time I didn’t understand why it was bothering me so much. She was just a hot looking piece of ass. There were plenty of those on campus. I shrugged it off as a loss and went on with my day. I didn’t have any inkling that this one chick would come between Jax and I. That was impossible for anyone to do.
Throughout the day, when he didn’t return, I got random texts, most of which were from inside of her dorm room. They even took selfies together, one of him without a shirt. The caption said he was closing in on the deal. I couldn’t explain why, but I felt bitter about it. Sure Jax and I had our own games we played with women. We’d always been popular with the ladies, probably because there were two of us to go around.
Later, he came back to our room bragging he’d gotten her into bed, though they didn’t go all the way. A hint of jealousy struck me when I imagined all the things he’d be able to do with her that I wouldn’t have the opportunity to. We didn’t do sloppy seconds. Jax never slept with chicks I’d hooked up with, and I certainly didn’t want anything to do with the ones he’d taken to bed.
Figuring that he’d fuck her and forget she existed, like Jax often did, I carried on with my life. She was just some chick; nothing to write home to mom about.
If it had only been that easy.
We had classes together, and both hung out with my brother often. I think the hardest part for me was getting to know her inside and out. Reese wasn’t just a beautiful shell. She had so much to offer, and I understood why Jax couldn’t get enough. After she’d forgiven me for our first encounter, we became fast friends. While her physical relationship intensified with my brother, I was attracted to the other parts of her, the ones where she shared her hopes and dreams. We’d talk for hours, finding that we shared similar tastes. I appreciated her determination to see everything through, and often wondered how someone like her could even be attracted to clowns like my brother and I.
Our joint courses allowed for countless hours of private studying. Admittedly, I was studying much more than the course matter. The cool thing was that this enabled me to spend time with Reese without Jax, since he didn’t excel in academics. His courses revolved around what was easy, while I’d been an exemplary student.
Wherever I turned Reese was there, flashing her pretty smile around, making me crazy. I daydreamed about her while she sat beside me or even when she was a row in front of me. Reese always made a point to include me whenever she was with Jax. As much as I loathed seeing them so close, I knew I didn’t want to spend a minute away from her. I was fully aware that if I was around they were less likely to be intimate.
I’d become a cock block to my own brother, and was happy about it.
At night I imagined she was climbing in bed with me, instead of Jax. My fantasies expended me, to the point where I knew it was necessary to change. I was torturing myself knowing there would never be anything to come out of it.
It was horrible, and I hated myself for acting sneaky. That’s when I first knew something had to give. It was imperative to go to drastic measures in order to save myself, before I lost the one person who meant everything to me. I couldn’t continue a friendship with her, not when every chance I got she consumed my mind. No woman had ever gotten under my skin like this, and although it freaked me out, I couldn’t help craving the experience.
It was a Sunday dinner that did me in. It was the last straw.
That day was reserved for family. No matter what we were doing we would gather together to break bread. Even though our family was growing, it was a tradition that I didn’t see ending any time soon. Whether the meal was held at my parents, my sisters, or even my aunt and uncles, we were all expected to attend, unless someone wasn’t home. A lot of times one of us was in Kentucky visiting the rest of our kin, or some of my cousins were away at other colleges, because they wanted nothing to do with farm life.
My brother and I were different. We knew we’d take over the cattle business from our father, who’d done the same with his. It was a lucrative business, and we wouldn’t have to worry about going out and finding anything else. I don’t know about my brother, but for me, personally, I enjoyed the quiet life, kicking back with a cold brew after a long day’s work.
On this one particular Sunday we were gathered in the finished barn for our meal. Right before my Grandpa stood up to say the blessing Jax came prancing in, and he wasn’t alone. Hand in hand they strolled up to the table full of smiles. I knew him well enough to be able to tell he’d just gotten some ass. The shit-eating grin was plastered on his face, like the time he nailed our pastor’s daughter.
“Everyone, I’d like you to meet Reese, my girlfriend.”
His words still made my skin crawl. Not only had he never labeled a relationship, but he was bringing her home for everyone to meet. Every rule had been broken, and he knew it, because he refused to look in my direction.
He’d been keeping a secret from me, it was obvious why. He knew I’d be against it, just not the real reason.
We’d had this life plan for as long as I could remember. Our focus had to be on football, and then once school was over and we were done with our free ride, we’d settle back on the ranch, where we’d then find wives. What he couldn’t know was how much I envied that he’d found her.
I didn’t want to be my brother, but I most certainly wanted to be with Reese.
While my family gawked at the beautiful brunette, I withdrew from the table as soon as my plate was cleared. The worst part was that nobody even noticed I was gone. Where we’d always been the two that disrupted dinner, our play time had vanished, as if it had been nothing at all.
That night I sat in the entertainment area of the barn waiting for my brother to show up. I shot maybe twenty rounds of billiards alone, and still no Jax or Reese. The idea of them being somewhere together without me made me angry. Why was he leaving me out?
Finally I plopped down on the couch and closed my eyes, figuring that he’d wake me up when he came inside.
A low giggling woke me from my slumber. I tipped my hat and peered over to see Jax and Reese climbing up into the loft. It used to be for storage, but my dad had since turned it into a lounge area for us kids, so while they were playing cards below, we could all chill and play video games.
He followed her up the ladder then pulled her into his welcoming arms. I should have gone inside the house and left them to be alone, but I was so annoyed. My brother was being a little bitch. What was worse was the fact that I knew why. If I’d have been in his shoes it would have been me up there with her. I’d imagined her naked so many times I’d lost count. I wanted to savor her tender kisses, and feel the way my hands soared over her smooth skin. I yearned to satisfy her every desire, so much that it overwhelmed me.
The sound of them shuffling was disturbing,
because I was aware of what was coming. They were undressing, and I wasn’t going to budge. I needed to know what the deal was. Did she have the most perfect tits? Was her pussy mouth-watering? Why the hell couldn’t I rid her from my mind? I needed to find some kind of flaw that would defer my reasoning.
Jax tugged off his shirt, and then hers. Without effort he went for her bra, unfastening the back and dropping it to the floor. He spun her around, and as my eyes focused on her tits, that happened to be more than a handful, I watched as she bent over. My brother tugged on her pants, bringing them down enough to manage with his intentions. He entered her, the room filling with tender cries.
Now I’d been in the same room as my brother when he was having sex. We used to take chicks out in the woods camping and share tents. Something about this encounter was different. I wasn’t into watching him normally, but the expression on his face said it all. He was trying to please her, instead of only himself. He reached forward and started rubbing her clit. She lifted one hand and pinched her own nipple, while slow moans filled the barn. I knew he was getting her off. The proof was hard to deny.
It wasn’t that the moment was romantic, or even gentle. I couldn’t stop staring at her, especially when she stood up and leaned back to kiss him, giving me ample time to take everything in.
I knew it was wrong, but continued. My dick started to react to seeing her that way, so I knew I had to get out of the barn. The last thing I needed was Jax to spot me sitting there with a huge stiffy. After a couple minutes I got up and left, neither of them even noticing I was there. While standing outside the building I listened to the two of them for a while, going at it like rabbits.
An hour later they came out looking as if they’d been wrestling around in the hay. She gave me this look as if she knew I’d been in there with them, but said nothing about it. I found it peculiar, but refused to bring it up to my brother. The best thing for me was to be as far away from her as humanly possible. I had to let Jax be happy. He was my brother, and I loved him more than I loved myself most of the time. I wouldn’t let my curiosity ruin our family. After all, she was just some girl. Her pussy wasn’t made of gold. My jealousy had to go away.
By the time Christmas came around, and the family went to Kentucky for my cousin Noah’s wedding, everything was worse. I’d been paired up with Reese in a study group, and my brother was adamant about us being the best of friends. He kept saying she was the one, and that he could feel it in every inch of his bones. Little did he know that every moment I spent with her I too had the same feelings. Getting to know her more was the worst possible mistake I could have made.
When he brought her to Kentucky it was the last straw. I knew what I had to do, because the direction I was headed was going to cost me everything. I decided to push her away, and pretend I hated her. I knew what the risk would be, but also what it would protect. My brother was more important. I wanted him to be happy, and I’d resolved myself to being okay with them having a future together, even if being around them crushed me inside. They obviously cared about each other, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about that.
I spent my holiday calling her names and making fun of her every chance I got. She withdrew from me, but only after attempting to confront me plenty of times. When I was alone I regretted everything, wishing I could somehow come clean, because even though I’d been known to treat women like shit, I couldn’t bear to do it to her. It was killing me inside. I hated myself for hurting her, even more than when I was sneaking secret feelings behind my brother’s back.
Telling my cousin Noah the truth was the first time I’d admitted my feelings out loud. Maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up, but I couldn’t stand seeing them holding hands and being so happy. Jax pulled me aside and told me he was going to tell her he loved her. He may as well have taken a knife and driven it right into my heart. I knew if he said those words to her that she’d be sticking around for a long time. He wasn’t going to let her slip away. Then I watched it all unfold. He took her for a walk, but only made it one-hundred yards away before sharing his feelings. They embraced, and I could almost experience my brother’s excitement radiating through me.
I couldn’t take it. For days I’d pushed, taunted and made sure she thought I was the biggest asshole on the planet, all the while wishing her lips were kissing mine.
Whistling brought me back to the crowded football field. Once again she’d consumed my thoughts, making my huge celebratory moment all about her. I refused to allow myself to simmer in misery.
It was the same feeling I got seeing her in the crowd at the game. There she was, dressed so cute in a warm jacket with ear muffs. Tears filled her eyes because she was so excited. Her ability to be sensitive was another reason I was crazy about her. My stomach knotted up, and it took everything I had not to walk up, like I had with every other chick, and tell her I wanted her, right then in front of everyone that mattered.
Then she approached me, and I thought back to all the times we’d been alone in a room together. I wondered if she’d ever thought about me, wondering what the difference was between me and my brother in the bedroom. Did she ever want to kiss me? Deep down had she fantasized, maybe even just once, about being with me instead?
I patted the people carrying me around to let me down. Standing face to face, I watched her licking her lips before she spoke. Even little movements like that had the ability to get me worked up. My adrenaline was already pumping, to the point where release of any kind would have been unimaginably fantastic. “You played a great game, Jake.”
I should have thanked her for the kind words, but I knew I couldn’t. Instead I furrowed my brows and looked away when I answered, as if she was wasting my precious celebratory time. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
She shooed me away with her hands and headed in the direction of my twin. I watched him jump down and pull her into his arms. I froze in place, unable to come to grips with how fucked up the situation was. My excitement was over, and it had been replaced with frustration.
After the playoff football game my family stuck around to celebrate. We headed to the locker room to get cleaned up. While in the showers my brother gloated about the things Reese agreed to do if we won. Though riddled with guilt, I imagined her doing all of it with me instead. As the moments passed I realized that Jax had been talking to me for a period of time without me ever noticing. “What did you say?”
“Fucker, I asked if you were ready to go? I need to get this family shit over with so I can be alone with my sexy woman. Get your head out of your ass and come on.”
I rolled my eyes and put on a clean shirt. “Suck my dick. If you want pussy so bad then skip dinner. Nobody’s stopping you, bro.” Except maybe my mind.
“Yeah right. Mom would kick my ass if I stood everyone up. They’re counting on us both being there.” He flipped his duffle bag over his shoulder. “I wonder if anyone would notice if I finger fucked her under the table.”
I should have dared him to do it, because that’s the kind of things we’d always done. This time I didn’t want to think about him touching her at all. “One person drops a fork and your secret party under the table is over.”
I followed my brother out of the locker room to greet everyone waiting for us. We still had one more game to win the Championship, but the odds were good. Our team was unstoppable.
The first person standing there waiting was Reese. I felt a smile forming on my face and swiftly removed it, in fear of her seeing right through me. This charade was bringing me down from my high, and there was only one thing that would alleviate the guilt.
Chapter 2
“I wouldn’t be surprised if scouts started seekin’ you out together. The two of you play in sync. Nobody can stop you,” Uncle Colt said in between bites of his appetizer. “When they came at me with interest I wanted to jump at every opportunity.”
Jax put his arm around Reese and glanced at her before answering. “It’s a good thing my girlfri
end’s open to living anywhere so long as we’re together.”
I rolled my eyes and looked down at my plate, clenching my silverware in both hands. Had my brother just stated that he wouldn’t go anywhere without Reese? I knew they were serious, but this was going above and beyond. They were talking long term, and though I’d known about it for some time, this included our whole family. My hopes of ever being free from my obsession were dwindling. Reese wasn’t going away, even if we were signed to the NFL. She was going to be a huge part of my future, whether I liked it or not.
“Winter classes start back up next week. That means spring and summer is getting closer. I was thinking about spending some time at the cabin, if it’s alright with you. I know I’ll have to do it when we aren’t seeding or picking the fields, but thought it would give me some time to unwind. Senior year is going to be hectic.”
My dad seemed concerned immediately. I caught him staring at me, trying to figure me out. I’d never been okay with secluding myself. Now I was wanting to go somewhere alone.
My uncle answered promptly. Since it was his cabin, it was up to him. His ranch was much bigger than ours, and it required a lot more manpower to run. Lately I’d been wondering if moving to Kentucky would solve all my problems. North Carolina was a big state, but I needed to be further away in order to free myself from the hold Reese clearly had on me. “I reckon it’s fine. We won’t go until July. I think Chris and Ethan said somethin’ about usin’ it, but we can make a schedule if you want some time for yourself.”
Jake Mitchell Page 2