Willow winced, but quickly pasted on a fake smile and spoke about how awesome it was.
She was such a little liar.
But I didn’t call her on her bullshit.
While fiercely independent, Willow was still a people pleaser. She didn’t want to disappoint anyone.
I admired that about her.
I also hated it.
When my mom asked her about our trip she instantly brightened, her smile morphing into a genuine one where her blue eyes shined.
“What made you want to go on a road trip?” My mom asked her. Before Willow could respond, a wistful smile crossed her lips. To me, she said, “Your dad and I went on a road trip the summer after I graduated college. We only headed up to Maine, so it wasn’t as grand as what you guys have planned. But it was still fun.” She smiled at my dad and leaned over to kiss his cheek.
Taking a sip of water, Willow cleared her throat. “It’s something I’ve always wanted to do. I mean, I traveled a lot as a kid with my dad having to go on tour with the band—but I never really got to see anything, you know?” Without waiting for them to respond, she continued. “Most of the time on the road was spent in the bus, or on a plane, or in a hotel, or backstage. I want to explore and…” She paused, pursing her lips. “Find something great…be something great.” She amended.
I wanted to tell her that she was already great.
To me at least.
But I couldn’t seem to find my voice.
Besides, my sister would probably throw one of the rolls at me and call me a sap.
“How long do you think you’ll be gone?” My mom asked.
Willow glanced at me, a smile playing on her lips. “No idea. That’s the beauty of it.”
“No plan. No directions. No limitations.” I added, grinning as I lifted my glass of water in the air.
Willow lifted her glass in the air and we exchanged a secretive smile, as she repeated, “No plan. No directions. No limitations.”
Willow
“You just got home and you’re already leaving.” Lylah sniffled, wiping away a stray tear. Drawing her legs up to her chest where she sat on my bed, she added, “Is it really so bad here that you have to get away from us?”
“Lyls,” I groaned, rolling up a t-shirt and fitting it into my duffle bag, “I wasn’t supposed to come home at all this summer, or at least until the end of it. You should be happy you’re getting to see me.”
She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest in a dramatic fashion.
I turned the music up on my Bluetooth speaker, hoping it would help cheer her up.
Music could feed your emotions. That’s why when you were sad you listened to slow, depressing songs, and when you were happy you cranked up the bubblegum pop music.
The current song I was playing was one of those bubblegum pop ones and I watched as Lylah couldn’t help but begin to sway to the music.
Mission accomplished.
I added in some shorts and jeans and a jacket too. I had no idea where we might end up and I wanted to be prepared.
When my duffle bag was full I zipped it up and tossed it towards the door. It fell to the floor with a heavy thud.
My patchwork backpack hung from the knob of my closet door and I grabbed it, pitching in everything of importance that I’d want to have easily accessible. Like my wallet, and my passport (you never know), bubblegum and lollipops, (this was very important), my journal, pencils, and my Polaroid camera and film.
I was careful not to completely fill my backpack. I didn’t know what I might find while on the road that I’d want to bring back with me.
I set my backpack with my duffle bag and turned to find Lylah had fallen asleep in my bed.
I laughed under my breath and grabbed my pajamas before locking myself in the bathroom to shower.
By the time I emerged Lylah was gone and my room was dark except for the glow cast from the fairy lights hanging around the ceiling.
I loved my room. My mom and dad had let me do whatever I wanted with it, and while an explosion of color and slightly (or a lot) cluttered, it was one hundred percent me.
The walls were green, which seemed odd with my gray and yellow bedspread but somehow it worked.
Gold and silver stars dangled from the high ceilings, and when the light hit them just right they seemed to sparkle.
My walls were covered in an assortment of posters of different bands, motivational sayings, and then there was one wall that was only Polaroid pictures. Those pictures were a mixture of photos of me, my friends, my family, and places—pretty much everything. I was sure by the time I got back from the road trip I’d have a hundred more to add. It was my favorite part of my room, though, and every time I looked at it I couldn’t help but smile at the memories it evoked.
I knew I was lucky to have the parents, and house, and life that I did.
But that didn’t fill the void in my heart.
The longing for something more.
It wasn’t really something I could explain. It was just there.
Tomorrow was the first stop on the journey to fill it.
***
I didn’t sleep that night.
Like, at all.
I lay in bed, staring above me at the stars that hung from my ceiling, willing sleep to come, but I was too excited.
When the clock beside my bed flashed that it was six in the morning I gave up.
I crawled from my bed and changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top. I slipped my feet into my black and white Converse and tucked the solid white pair into my backpack. You could never have too many.
I pulled my hair back into a messy bun and searched my room for any last minute things I might have forgotten to pack last night.
When I was satisfied that I had everything I slung my backpack across my shoulders and grabbed my duffle bag.
I startled when I reached the kitchen and found my Uncle Mathias and Aunt Remy sitting at the table with my parents.
I dropped my bags in the doorway and started forward.
“What are you guys doing here?” I asked, grabbing an apple from the bowl on the counter and biting into it.
“We wanted to see you off.” My uncle stood from the table and opened his arms for a hug.
To the rest of the world Mathias Wade seemed like an impenetrable steel fortress, but to me he was a big softy.
I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed him tight.
He chuckled. “Willow always gives the best hugs,” he said to the rest of the room.
Remy stood from the table as well and her heels clapped against the floor as she strolled over.
“Let her go.” She bumped her husband’s hip with her own and his arms fell from me. “My turn.” She smiled, hugging me tight.
Mathias and Remy were like second parents to me—it was impossible for them not to be with how close Liam and I were growing up.
“Are you going to see Liam while you’re gone?” She asked me.
I nodded. “That’s the plan. I miss him.”
I hadn’t seen Liam since we graduated high school—we were in the same class—because the very next day he packed his bags and moved to California to pursue his dreams of surfing. We all missed him, but he was happy and that’s what mattered. Hopefully, when I saw him I could convince him to at least come back to Virginia for the holidays so that all of us could see him and his parents didn’t have to fly all the way across the country to visit.
“I hope you have fun,” Remy told me, taking a seat once more. She crossed her legs and picked up her coffee mug. “Maybe meet some cute boys.” She winked.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” My dad threw up his hands. “No,” he said flatly.
Remy snorted and Mathias reached over to place his hand on her knee.
I hopped up onto the kitchen counter, my legs swinging, and took another bite of apple.
Remy tilted her head slightly to side. “What?” She said innocently. “She’s a beautiful girl, she needs to
find a cute boy. And speaking of cute boys, Dean’s pretty handsome.”
My dad shoved away from the table. “You’re not going. I changed my mind.”
“Maddox,” my mom scolded.
“No,” he was adamant, “this was a bad idea to begin with.”
My mom sighed heavily and rolled her eyes. “Honestly, you’re ridiculous. She’s nineteen, she can do what she wants.”
My parents glared at each other in one of the most epic staring contests of all time.
“Ugh,” my dad finally looked away with a groan, “fine. Whatever.”
My mom laughed and turned to wink at me. I raised my apple in salute and wiped the juice from my mouth.
Outside a horn honked and I jumped off the counter.
“My chariot awaits!” I boasted, running to grab my stuff.
“Not so fast!” My dad called.
I skidded to a stop and eyed the door.
So close, and yet so far away.
“Em, why don’t you go wake up Mascen and Lylah. They’ll be upset if they don’t get to say goodbye.”
I knew what my dad was up to. He wanted a moment alone to speak to me.
Frickety frick frack.
As my mom passed me I pleaded with my eyes for her to stay. She smiled apologetically.
Traitor.
“Walk with me.” My dad strolled up to me and slung his arm around my shoulders.
He started to lead me out of the kitchen and I looked back to beg Mathias and Remy to help me, but they were too busy laughing.
Some family I had.
My dad led me back through the house to his favorite room—it was the room where he kept his hedgehogs and knitting supplies.
My dad might’ve been famous, but he was a bit eccentric.
He closed the door behind us and then crossed his arms over his chest.
“First off, I love you,” he started.
“Oh God,” I mumbled, “this can’t be good.”
“I also trust you. But I do not trust that boy.”
I rolled my eyes. “Dad,” I groaned, “you’ve known Dean for like his whole life. Since when is he that boy?” I mimed his tone.
He tilted his chin down, leveling me with an icy glare. “Since he decided to drive my daughter all over the country and he has a penis.”
I snorted and walked over to the chair in the corner. I plucked the pillow off and sat down, placing it in my lap.
“Ah, I see what this is about now.” I couldn’t help but laugh.
“You do?” He seemed surprised.
“Dad, you’re like the easiest person ever to read.”
“Oh,” he said softly.
“Anyway, my virginity isn’t intact so you can put the chastity belt away. Kay?”
His eyes widened to the size of saucers. “What?!”
His voice was a roar of thunder, no doubt echoing through the whole house.
My mom busted into the room, looking panicked. “What’s wrong?” She asked, putting a hand to her heart like she was afraid it was going to race out of her chest.
His mouth opened and closed like a fish. “I…she said…her…ah!” He proceeded to make all these weird gestures with his hands. “Who?” He finally managed to ask.
“I’m not telling you.” I laughed.
My mom patted his shoulder. “I still had a year left in high school when we had sex. What did you expect, Maddox?”
He glanced at her like she was the crazy one. “That she’d never have sex.” The duh he wanted to add hung in the air.
My mom shook her head. “You’re so cute. Leave the child be.” She kissed his cheek and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Come on, we need to let her leave.”
“But—”
“No,” she said adamantly, and guided him out of the room.
I stood and replaced the pillow—albeit upside down—and hurried after them.
I needed to get outside before my dad because he’d no doubt start berating poor Dean.
“Daddy, can you grab my bags. They’re really heavy. Thankyousomuch.” I slurred as I ran past him and out the door.
I jumped from the top step to the ground, landing in a crouch.
Dean sat in his Mustang, his arm slung over the passenger seat, and laughed.
“You look like a cat,” he commented as I rose to a standing position.
I made a slashing motion with my hand and hissed.
He only laughed harder.
Behind me, dad stepped out onto to the porch mumbling that my bags weren’t that heavy.
My mom, siblings, aunt, and uncle soon followed.
Dean slipped out of the car and jogged up the steps. “I’ll take those.” He reached for my bags.
My dad jolted backwards, clutching them tighter. “She’s my daughter, I’m perfectly capable of loading her bags.”
“Dad.” My cheeks reddened with embarrassment—and let me tell you, it took a lot for me to be embarrassed.
Dean lifted his hands in surrender and backed off the steps.
Standing at my side, he leaned over to whisper, “Is your dad really pissed? Because he kinda looks like he wants to forcibly remove my balls from my body.”
My lips twitched. “I think that’s exactly what he wants to do to you.”
“Great.” Dean’s voice spiked.
“How do I get this open?” My dad cursed as he fumbled with the trunk of the car.
Dean did a quick about-face and headed over to help him. My dad mumbled a reluctant thank you before adding my bags in beside Dean’s.
Lylah padded down the porch stairs in her pajamas and bunny slippers and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“I’m gonna miss you,” she mumbled into my shoulder as she hugged me.
“I’ll miss you too. I’ll call as often as I can and send you pictures. I promise.”
“You better.” She sniffled, pulling away.
She was replaced by Mascen.
“Come here,” I opened my arms, “you know you want to hug me. Maybe some of my awesomeness will rub off on you in the process.”
His sad smile lifted into a genuine one and he hugged me close.
My dad was next.
Then my mom.
Mathias.
My dad…again.
Remy.
And my dad yet again.
He held me so tight I couldn’t even breathe.
“Uh, dad,” I patted his back, “you’re squishing me.” He held tighter. “Dad, you have to let go now.”
For some reason those words seemed oddly symbolic.
He hadn’t acted this sad when I left for college.
Maybe he knew as well as I did that college wasn’t where my true adventure lay.
“Be careful,” he whispered in my ear. “And just in case you encounter any crazies on the road I slipped some pepper spray into your backpack.”
“I’m going to be fine,” I assured him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you too, princess.”
He finally released me and I backed towards the car.
Dean had been standing outside it, a few feet away, but now he jumped forward to open the door for me.
My dad walked away from the car and stood on the first step, looking forlorn.
My mom stepped down beside him and leaned her head on his shoulder. She smiled encouragingly at me, assuring me everything would be okay with just one look. That was the power of a mom.
Dean jumped into the car, forgoing the door, and began to pull away.
I didn’t expect to feel so sad to leave, but as I looked back at my family gathered together waving goodbye I couldn’t help but find myself tearing up.
I dammed back the waterworks and raised my hand to wave as Dean turned the car around and began the trek down the dirt road.
I continued to wave until the cover of the trees hid them and the house from my sight.
“You okay?” Dean asked as I righted myself in the seat and buckled my se
atbelt.
“Yeah.” I nodded.
He fiddled with the knob on the ancient radio, turning on a country station.
“Where to first?”
I leaned my head back and looked up at the tops of the trees and the sun shining through the cracks in the leaves.
“Anywhere. Nowhere. Everywhere.”
Dean
“You hungry?” I asked Willow. She was dozing off with her head leaning against my shoulder.
At my question she jolted into a seated position and blinked bleary eyes at me.
“Huh?”
Her hair had fallen loose from the bun she’d had it in, and now the blonde curls framed her face in a messy disarray that was so perfectly Willow.
“I have to stop for gas, I thought you might be hungry.”
“Hungry?” She repeated, rubbing her eyes. “Um, yeah. I could eat.”
“I’ll look for a place to stop. You can go back to sleep.”
She shook her head, fighting a smile. “I’m already really sucking at this whole road trip thing, aren’t I?”
“Just a bit,” I jested.
“In my defense, I think I only managed to sleep one hour last night I was so excited.”
I chuckled. “It’s okay. Honestly.”
She reached out and turned the radio up a bit. “I can’t believe you didn’t install something more up to date in here.”
I shrugged. “I wanted to keep it original.”
“It really is beautiful,” she commented, running her hands over the gray and white leather seats.
“Thanks,” I practically beamed, “took a lot of time to fix her up, but I’m happy with the end result.”
“You’re so lucky,” she said on an exhale, as she rummaged through her bag. She procured a pack of gum and stuck a piece between her teeth.
“Why?” I laughed.
“Because,” she leaned her head back and began to chew, “you know what makes you happy. Cars and music.” She eyed the acoustic guitar sitting in the backseat.
“Oh come on,” I chuckled, “there are things that make you happy.”
She nodded. “You’re right. Food makes me happy.”
I shook my head and kept my eyes on the road. “Oh, Willow.”
“What?” She grinned, resting her feet on the dashboard. “It’s true.”
The Road That Leads to Us Page 4