Empty Heart

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Empty Heart Page 16

by Al K. Line


  "Yeah, just worried. She's a nice girl, and I'm glad everyone got on, but what will Steve do?"

  "I honestly don't know. You need to have a long talk with him."

  "I will, tomorrow. You both coming over after I take the girls to holiday club?"

  "Yes, all three of us. Meet us here?"

  "Sure. And Arthur?"

  "Yeah?"

  "Thanks." Vicky stood on tiptoe and kissed my cheek.

  "What was that for?"

  "For being a nice guy."

  "For a change."

  "See ya." Vicky drove her children home and I returned to my house.

  I wondered what the dawn would bring.

  Dying a Little

  After removing my boots, I closed the front door and stepped into the hallway. Everything was still standing, nobody was screaming, nothing was on fire, so it was all good as far as I was concerned.

  The kitchen was where the action seemed to be, judging by the noise, so I cautiously made my way there to find Steve and Sunshine at the table with a game of Buckaroo all set up ready to go.

  Penelope was on the phone, looking stressed as she hissed words I couldn't quite make out.

  She frowned as she listened then her eyes went wide, she clenched her jaw, and shouted, "No, and don't call me again." She stabbed a finger at the phone then sighed deeply. Steve and Sunshine spoke quietly, trying not to interfere but as curious as me about what was happening.

  "You okay?" I asked.

  "Oh, you're back? Yes, fine. No, not fine. Annoyed, angry, disappointed, but I shouldn't be surprised."

  "Let me guess," I said, knowing who it was.

  "Yes, it was Jake."

  "Didn't take him long to get into trouble again."

  "I'm surprised it took this long. He wanted money, said he owed some people and he was late paying. They aren't happy, apparently."

  "What do you want to do?" I asked, trying to keep the anger out of my voice. He was her family so it was up to her.

  "I told him last time, I wouldn't help him again. He's on his own." Penelope sighed then smiled weakly. Jake sure knew how to push her buttons, but after the previous incident she'd vowed never to let him get under her skin again. It had been a wild ride, and he'd shown himself to be a good guy in some ways, not so good in others. One thing he would never be was trustworthy, not unless he got himself cleaned up and stayed that way. Guess he hadn't done too well.

  "Are you sure? What if he gets hurt or worse?"

  "I can't keep doing it, Arthur, not when I know the same thing will happen over and over. The more I bail him out, the more he'll come to rely on me. He'll get into trouble because he'll expect me to help. So no, he's on his own."

  We joined the others at the table and Sunshine asked, "Who's Jake?"

  "He's my cousin, but he's a drug addict and he won't stop. He hangs around with dangerous people and keeps getting into trouble. It's how he's chosen to live so he can't expect me to bail him out."

  "Oh, okay. We playing?"

  Sometimes you have to love the simple way children see life, if only we could be like that as adults.

  "Sure. Where's George?"

  "Here I am," said George as she came in, the scent of the stables clinging to her clothes.

  "Then allow me to show you how the master plays Buckaroo," I said, rubbing my hands together and picking up a tiny lasso to place gently on the saddle of the plastic mule. "Ugh, dammit! It must be broken," I shouted as it bucked and plastic bits went flying.

  "Expert! Ha!" laughed George.

  We played for a while then George took Sunshine into the den where they proceeded to shoot the shit out of the bad guys for the next few hours while we remained in the kitchen and tried to think about how to get out of this mess and give Sunshine and Steve a fighting chance of making it through the next day.

  "Something's missing," I said, exasperated as I leaned back in my chair and laced my hands behind my head.

  "You keep saying that," grunted Steve, "but what?"

  "She seems such a sweet child," said Penelope. "It's hard to believe she can affect people. Arthur, you mean something else is going on too?"

  "I don't know. I just can't shake the feeling that I'm missing something. That we're missing something," I corrected. "She's strong, yes, but c'mon, making people empty of emotion, making people tell the truth, all of it, it's too out there, too extreme for her to do, especially without knowing."

  "But that's why she's so special, I guess. I always knew she could do it, but not like this."

  We all stared at Steve.

  "What?"

  "You could have mentioned it, dude. You never said you knew she could do this. How long has it been going on?"

  "For always. Ever since she was a little girl. Like, tiny." Steve moved his hands apart a little, showing us exactly what tiny meant.

  "And she changed your mood?"

  "Sure. When she was a baby if she was upset then we'd get upset. That kind of thing."

  "Okay, but this is different, right?" I asked, at a loss as to how Steve could be so relaxed about all this.

  "Yeah, very. But maybe she's just growing up, getting more powerful."

  "Maybe. Or maybe something is afoot."

  "Arthur, you stop that!" scolded Penelope, making me smile.

  "I'm not doing anything," I protested.

  "You are. You're hoping this is a convoluted conspiracy so you can go running about blasting things and people and getting up to mischief."

  "Hmm, maybe. But only if they deserve it." I winked at my wife; she poked out her tongue. Did I mention I loved this woman?

  "So what do we do?" asked Steve.

  "That, my well-coiffed friend, is an excellent question."

  We talked a little longer, going around in circles and getting nowhere. Steve needed to think for himself on this one, and it wasn't easy getting him to focus in any meaningful manner. He liked to wing it, same as I did, but even I knew this would go tits up unless we could face the morning with an idea of what to actually do.

  "Let's sleep on it," I finally said as we were all half asleep in our chairs. It had been a long night and an even longer day. Buckaroo is knackering.

  We crept into the den but we needn't have bothered. George and Sunshine were fast asleep, curled up together under a blanket.

  Steve turned out the light and I pulled the door to. I'd kept my promise, allowed her to play video games as long as she wanted.

  Maybe everything would work out fine after all.

  A New Day

  The mini-death eluded me until the early hours. Despite the love and warmth of my wife, or maybe because of it, all I did was stress and worry through the darkness. Even when I managed to switch off and let my idle thoughts wander by with me paying not the slightest attention, I couldn't find that wondrous, magical state known as sleep.

  I was too wizarded up, too hyped on unfinished business, too afraid for my friends and family, and damn annoyed that I didn't have the answers to this sorry situation.

  I was kinda miffed too. Partly with Steve for getting us into this, though what are friends for, but mostly because I felt like I was being played somehow, we all were. If there's one thing a wizard of certain years hates, it's not being in control of his own destiny. Over the years, I'd taken enough shit from enough people to do whatever I could to ensure I was in control of my life best I could be, and to never let anyone walk over or manipulate me. That's how I felt, manipulated. I was being screwed with and I did not like it even though I couldn't for the life of me imagine how or why someone was interfering with Sunshine.

  Maybe they weren't. Maybe it was merely the unease I felt being around her because she was an unknown entity, volatile yet innocent, dangerous yet only a child, pure but a murderer. Well, we all had that cross to bear. I'd killed plenty, Steve too, even Vicky, but we were grownups so we knew what we did was wrong, not that it stopped us if we felt the situation called for it, or we were having a bad hair day, of w
hich I had many.

  Eventually, as the birds began their depressed dawn chorus and the brightness of the previous day was banished like a fading dream, as rain tapped at the window and the dark sky promised to remain that way, I sank into a fitful sleep full of dreams of angry bears chasing me down motorways and being made to tell the truth about what I thought about Penelope's choice in cushions for the den.

  "What the..." I sat bolt upright with an ache in my head and a sour taste in my mouth.

  "What's going on?" asked Penelope, propping herself on the pillows, her breasts jiggling, which distracted me somewhat from being annoyed about anything.

  "Hello? Face, here." Penelope pointed at said lovely face and I grinned as I tore my eyes away from the things I loved best in this world.

  "Sorry, but if you will keep wobbling them about what am I supposed to do?"

  "Fine." Penelope pulled the covers up and asked, "Better?"

  "No, of course not, are you mad? Let them breathe, they need airing."

  "I'll air you," she warned.

  "I have no idea what that means, but if it's dirty then go ahead, I am your willing victim."

  We smiled knowingly at each other as things stirred, but things soon retreated like a tortoise back into its shell as the noise that woke us notched it up several gears.

  "What is going on?"

  Reluctantly, we got out of bed and pulled on dressing gowns then hurried downstairs with George coming from her room and following.

  Judging by the noise, it seemed like a bad idea to go into the kitchen, so that's what we did. We were a family of wizards and witches after all.

  "You have got to be kidding me," I groaned, covering my eyes then peeking through because I couldn't bear not to watch even though it was a sight of untold horror.

  Rooted to the spot as I was, Penelope and George pushed past me and my darling wife shouted with all her authority, "What is the meaning of this?"

  Sunshine froze, frying pan held above her head, ready to throw it at Steve.

  Steve lowered his hands and visibly relaxed; the black and white bristles that had popped up all over his face and arms receded as he got control of himself.

  The room was in utter disarray. Plates were smashed, pots and pans were dented, spread over the floor, and even the cutlery tray had been emptied. Somehow, there was a fork stuck into the ceiling.

  "Sunshine," I said, venturing forth because I was a wizard unafraid of anything, "I don't know what's going on between you and your dad, but you are in our home. You are a guest, and you should know how to behave like one. I told you about this place, right?" She nodded, frying pan still held high, her face still twisted in anger. "You know what it means to me? How it's important, how it's a safe place?" She nodded again. "It's more than that. When I was young, your age, I lived in a poky apartment, we had a small kitchen and my parents never bought food, never looked after me. They were bad people, neglected me, their own son, and I used to spend hours cleaning the kitchen to see if it would make them take notice of me, of anything, and begin to love me."

  "That wasn't nice," said Sunshine, lowering the frying pan, caught up in the story despite herself.

  "It got worse, they got worse. They did bad things, things I have never told anyone, not even Penelope, and I doubt I ever will. They didn't love me, I don't think they were capable of it. And one day I killed them both."

  "You... you killed your parents?"

  "I did."

  "That's... That's awful. And now you have a lovely home and a lovely family and a great kitchen."

  "I do. I know what happened to your mum was an accident, and it wasn't your fault, but I know how much it hurts. But tell me something, do you want to go through life knowing that you killed your dad on purpose?" She shook her head. "And does your dad love you? Does he tell you he loves you? Does he want to do his best, look after you and feed you and protect you the best he can?"

  "Yes," she said warily.

  "Then stop acting like a spoiled fucking brat and have some respect. For him, for me, for Penelope and George, and for yourself. What are you doing behaving like this? It's shameful."

  Sunshine dropped the cast iron frying pan onto the tiles. It split in two and I winced.

  "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I don't want to go. I don't know what to do and I just want it all to end."

  Something tore at my insides and before I could stop myself I turned to Penelope and said, "I don't like those new cushions. They're too big and too soft and the color's stupid."

  Penelope opened and closed her mouth like a fish out of water and gasped, "You said you loved them."

  "I was lying."

  "Enough," shouted Steve. "Sunshine, stop that, you're messing with people's emotions, making them change. Stop it this instant."

  Sunshine stared from Steve to me to Penelope and George, then burst out crying.

  Then she sank onto her hands and knees and changed so rapidly into a fox-like creature you'd miss it if you blinked. Quick as a flash, she shot across the room, leaped onto the counter, and darted though the window always left open to keep the room fresh.

  "Shit," we all moaned at the same time.

  Some Hugs

  Before I had chance to run after Sunshine, or maybe consider getting dressed first, at least some boots, I was enveloped in hugs from my two favorite women.

  "Hey, hey, what's all this?" I asked, nonetheless putting my arms around them and enjoying the moment.

  "You never said, about your parents," whispered Penelope.

  "Dad, what happened?" asked George.

  "It's a long story and one I'm not ready to tell. Maybe I never will be. I didn't mean to say anything then, it just came out to show Sunshine what she had, make her realize she had people who cared for her. Plus, I think maybe she messed with me and I couldn't stop myself." I wasn't sure, didn't know if I'd told my secret because I wanted to, or because of her influence. Either way, there was no taking it back now.

  "It must have been awful," said Penelope, searching my face as they both released their grip on me.

  "Yeah, kinda. But not as bad as it was when they were alive. Not at the end, anyway. Ugh, enough of this, we have to get Sunshine."

  "I'm on it," said Steve, who had now returned with his backpack and was standing there stark naked in my kitchen in front of my wife and daughter.

  "Dude, not cool."

  "Hey, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. I'll find her. Sorry about this. She freaked when I said we were leaving today. Said she knew I wasn't going to look after her. Went nuts before I could explain."

  "It's understandable, she's been though a lot," said Penelope.

  "Yeah, and now she's out there somewhere. I'll get her." Steve strapped the backpack impossibly tight to his back then walked to the sliding glass doors and went outside. On the patio, he dropped down and quickly morphed into a fat badger, all bristly fur and menacing, piggy eyes.

  A flash of black and white and he was gone, moving fast across the lawn, the dew disturbed by his passage.

  "Breakfast anyone?" I asked, wondering which frying pan to use for eggs now my favorite one was smashed.

  "How can you think about food now?" asked Penelope.

  "Trust me, this day will be utterly shit, so I need food now because there won't be any more for a while. If I don't call, it's because I'm tied up, hopefully not literally."

  "I'll clean up," offered George.

  "George!"

  "Penelope," said George, "it's just another day in the life of his madness. You'll get used to it. So, what's for brekkie?"

  "You pair amaze me," said Penelope. "But I love you both."

  So we cleaned the kitchen, got dressed, and had a nice fry-up. What else can you do when the outside world is insane? House guests, eh? They're always breaking your shit and ruining your peace. I decided to turn the spare room into a gym, then quickly changed my mind when I realized I might have to use it.

  Boring

  We ate, we
cleaned up again, we did chores, and generally milled about. There was no sign of Steve, or Sunshine, and by late morning I knew everything had gone to shit. He hadn't found her, and was still looking, that was the best-case scenario. Worst case, they'd both been found by someone else and been taken or Steve was dead in a ditch somewhere and Sunshine was who knew where.

  "I'm going out," I said, pulling on my boots, tapping my pocket to ensure Wand was present, and adjusting Grace so I looked suitably wizardly.

  "Where?" asked Penelope.

  "Dunno, to find them. I'll call if I won't be back for dinner. Promise."

  "Have you got your phone?"

  I checked my pockets, which took a while, then smiled sheepishly.

  "Idiot. I'll get it." Penelope returned with my phone and I took it then kissed her goodbye.

  "See you later."

  "Be careful. And be kind. It's hard for them both."

  "I know."

  Outside, I left through the farm gate and tried to think about where they could be. Where would she go, what would she do? Would she stay in animal form? A young girl with no clothes wandering around the countryside was not a good thing, but I guess it was better than it being in the city. Still, if she had any sense, and I knew she did, then once she cooled off she'd want to get dressed. She hadn't come back, she had nothing with her, so that meant she'd hunt out somewhere there were people.

  Mind made up, I got in the car and headed to the nearest village. It would be nice to see the sea anyway. Foreign waters are too clean and you can swim in them, I needed the crash of waves and the risk of pollution, even Cornwall wasn't exempt from that.

  At the small fishing harbor, I parked the car and walked along the quay, looking for a child running naked through the streets. I encountered hardly a soul, just a few locals, those of an older generation who lived here year round, rather than the majority who were holiday-makers and wouldn't be seen until spring or more likely summer for a few weeks.

  The rain came down, the annoying British kind where it's so fine we like to call it drizzle but where it soaks you through and the tiny droplets coat you, sticking like glue. Damn annoying. But today it made me smile, as it meant I was home, far away from the true madness of the city where you could walk for ages under cover in the indoor shopping centers and never see the sky let alone breathe fresh air or get soaked to the bone. I dunno, I preferred the weather to the fakery, but I knew that wasn't the norm.

 

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