Levi folds his hands onto the table. That obnoxious grin he gets when he thinks he’s got something over you takes up precious real estate on his face. “You seem happy. Especially now that Lexy is waiting tables for us. Coincidence?”
“Maybe I hate law. You ever think of that? I like the bar.”
Both Levi and Brody light up with a laugh.
Brody wipes a tear from his eye as if it were too much to handle. “Dude—we know you’re loving it. We know you’re loving her in your airspace. But seriously, Lex is one brutal lady. You sure you want to ride that crazy train again?”
“I’m already onboard. Never left.” I didn’t even need a second to think about it because I’ve spent the last six years thinking of Lex. If it came right down to it, I’d swear it was one long continuous stream of consciousness. I’ve thought of her so much she’s become a part of me, encoded in my DNA, ingrained on a cellular level.
“Dude”—Levi leans in hard—“the chick is psychotic.”
“Say it again and I’ll bash your head through the window.” I give a sly smile because we both know it’s true. “Same goes for you.” I kick Brody’s foot from under the table. “She’s”—my voice pitches with emotion—“she’s the love of my life.” I press out a peaceable smile at the two of them, hoping they’ll go easy on my sudden urge to share my affection for Lex.
“Okay.” Levi nods just once as if I put out a war plan and he were grimly going along with it because there were no other alternatives.
“It’s fine by me.” Brody practically gouges his eye out with his palm and the action alone makes him look all of twelve. Brody is the same age as the rest of us, but for some reason I’ve always thought of him as being much younger. I know it’s not fair to say, but I pegged him for having a lack of direction in his life up until we embarked on The Pelican endeavor. In a way, I guess I’ve always envied him in that respect. I hauled ass getting my law degree, passing the bar—making partner at my father’s firm may sound like nepotism, but my father doesn’t adhere to archaic standards of climbing the corporate ladder. I had to prove myself. And it was tough as hell.
“Tell me something”—Brody cocks his head to the side, those narrowed eyes let me know he’s already come to a conclusion about whatever it is he’s about to inquire—“what attracted you to Lex—I mean, other than the obvious. Sure, she’s hot. She’s smoking. Anyone with eyes can see that, but once she opens that mouth—”
Levi cuts him off, “Once she looks at you—”
“Glares at you,” Brody adds. “You realize she’s got a chip on her shoulder the size of the Rock of Gibraltar.”
“The moon,” Levi counters. “She’s about as stable as plutonium. The girl is pissed at life. How’d you manage to see past that? She must have opened up to you, but was she ever—you know, nice?”
My gaze settles somewhere between the two of them, straight through the wall, straight through Hollow Brook, into the nebulous past where I try to decipher this for myself.
“Yes,” I say, lacking the confidence something of this magnitude requires. “She was great. It’s true we had our ups and downs, and unfortunately toward the end it was all downhill—but that sweet spot we shared…” I drift right back into the memories we built, her at my place, in my bed. Those nights where we attacked one another under the sheets like charging lions. Lex has always been a force to be reckoned with in and out of the bedroom. “She’s nice. You just need to crack the armor.”
Levi’s brows flex and he looks momentarily pained for me. “Low says she’s pretty steady across the board with that caustic personality, but she likes her and I’m hoping the vice versa is true. She’s in our wedding.” He leans over and socks me on the arm just enough to make it hurt. “And she’s paired up with you.”
“Perfect. By then I’m hoping she’ll be exactly that—paired up with me.”
Both Levi and Brody groan at the idea as if the thought wrenched their balls.
Brody shakes his head with that despondent look on his face. “You really like a challenge, don’t you?”
“If her name is Lex Maxfield, then I love her.” There. I said it.
A sobering silence crops up in our circle before we meander to the topic of the bar. We spend the next hour looking at numbers, talking strategies before the realtor calls Levi and hauls him away. Brody finds himself getting sucked back into that vortex of the trap I’ve laid out for him and he too staggers out of the place.
No sooner do I rise to leave than my favorite redhead struts on in, shoulders back, hair wild and flowing, that look on her face says I will slit the throat of every person in here without thinking twice, and something about that makes my lips twitch with a smile and I sit right back down. My heart starts in on a few quick stomps. It’s never in rhythm when Lex is around. It’s a long-standing tradition that she makes my heart beat faster, my entire body shakes as it begs to have her. And right about now, it’s downright pleading on a cellular level. My balls ache, my mouth salivates just wishing for one more night, but my heart knows better. I don’t want just a singular night with Lex—but hell, I would take it. What I really need is all of her. Her beautiful complicated mind, her energetic spirit that keeps me on my toes, and that heart of hers. I’d do anything if she’d let me dust it off for her one more time. Lex was never a fan of that particular beating member of her anatomy, nor was she a fan of the one I happen to harbor myself. Nope. Somewhere along the line she closed it off, buried it under a layer of ice—about the time her mother skipped out on her in what would pan out to be a long line of disappointments. That’s all people were to her, disappointments. And I happened to fall into that category. Here I sit, one of Lex’s disappointments, my own biggest disappointment.
She collects her coffee, grunting at the barista’s attempt to make small talk as she stalks her way past me as if I were invisible and sits near the back. Lex opens her laptop and ducks in close, pounding at the keyboard like a woman on a mission.
I don’t hesitate in getting up and heading over. I may have hesitated before the big reprisal in my life, but now that we’re working together, that she’s working for me, it feels like fair game.
“Okay, now I’m curious,” I say as I take the seat across from her, but Lex doesn’t bother to look up, her fingers never slow as they dance across the keyboard.
“Go away,” she says it so curt and quick I half-wonder if she even knows it’s me or if that were some stock answer she’s tossing at me. “I mean it, Ax, stat.”
Mystery solved.
“How’d you know it was me? My firm masculine voice? That familiar scent of my cologne? I believe you once bought a bottle just so you could wear it to remind yourself of me.” And when she told me that, it melted my heart on a level I never thought possible. Lex loved me so much she cherished my scent. The thought still makes me ache for what we once had—that I believe we can still have.
“I saw you through the window before I entered,” she says it so low and fast I had to struggle to grasp it. “But I didn’t care that you were here.” She looks up for less than a second before returning to her task. “You see, Axel, I don’t really care about you.”
There it is, the hot poker through the stomach that inevitably arrives each time I’m around her, at least lately. But in all honesty, it’s a complete upgrade from the silent treatment. At least I know what she’s thinking, how much she’s actually detesting me. It’s nice on a cerebral level to know these things, I suppose.
“Duly noted.” I bounce my seat next to hers until I have full view of her computer screen, and she quickly lowers it an inch.
“Do you mind?”
“Yes, actually, I do. I’m dying to know what you’re hammering out on that keyboard. Let me guess. A statement to the police why a restraining order against me might be in order in spite of the fact you work for me?”
She belts out a short-lived laugh, and I’m jarred by this. First, Lex doesn’t laugh—not really. And second, well, s
he just laughed.
“Wish I would have thought of that.” She leans back in her seat before sealing those serious eyes of hers over my own like a magnet. “Even though I’m technically working for you, I consider myself jobless. I’m trying to make a better way for myself in this world like everyone else, if you must know. I’m creating my destiny. That, my ex-friend, is what I’m hammering out on my laptop. It’s called the future.”
“The future?” I boldly scoot the laptop screen back to its upright position, and sure enough it looks to be a business proposal of some sort she’s working on.
I absorb my attention to the screen, completely ignoring the fact she just referred to me as her ex-friend. I was sort of hoping we had already meandered into that thorny friendly territory. “The Epicurean Elite,” I muse at the title of the doc.
She snaps her laptop shut and takes a long swig of her iced tea. “That’s right. It’s my baby, and I’m running with it.”
My heart gives a few more wallops because it actually seems as if we’re in a bona fide conversation. She hasn’t kicked me out of my seat yet, so already we’re off to a great start.
“What is it?” I take a careful sip of the sludge at the bottom of my drink, afraid to elicit any sudden movements, thus reminding her of her primal urge to bolt whenever I’m around.
“I’m a food critic, Ax. It’s what I do. And if Food Crack Nation won’t have me, then I’ll simply go ahead and create my own food critic database, only I’ll do it on a public forum. Bigger and better, of course.”
“Sort of like Yelp for Help?” In no way did I intend to burst her bubble by way of even hinting that there’s another place out there that does this very thing. But still, she should be apprised.
“Like Yelp for Help minus the yahoos. The only people eligible to submit ratings on my site will be real deal food critics, none of that attention-seeking stuff that pulls the idiots out of the woodwork. No one couldn’t care less if your waiter was slow. We want to know about the cuisine.” She pulls her purse onto her shoulder and scoops up her laptop as if she’s about to take off.
“Whoa—while I have you here, what’s the name of the yahoo living across the street from you?”
“Stumpy?” She relaxes back in her seat, and I can’t help but notice her chest jumped in her T-shirt with the action. Lex has a body that is every thirteen-year-old boy’s wet dream, and essentially that’s what her body has the ability to reduce me to whenever she’s around.
“Yes, Stumpy. What’s her legal name? One of those protesters nearly dented my car the other night. I happen to think they’re a menace to society, and at this point so is she.” I’d love to channel all of my frustration into smashing that troll with my judiciary thumb. Who the hell does she think she is making Lex’s life so miserable? A hot wave of guilt washes over me because I happen to have done the very same thing.
“I don’t know, Carrie—Karen? Stegmiller, Stegmiestser, or something random like that. If you throw the book at her, let me know. I might actually show up in the cheering section.”
A smile dares bloom on my lips at the thought of Lex and me on the same side for once. “Courtrooms don’t traditionally have cheering sections, but I will be sure to let you know what comes of it.”
“Speaking of which”—she tilts her head, and her hair perks up and waves over at me before resting on her shoulder—“whatever became of Emilia? By the way, speaking of your siblings, Shep and I have been spending quite a bit of time together.” She bites down on her bottom lip as if the thought of making me jealous through her relationship with my brother—which I know is strictly related to the fact she’s struggling financially. But I’m far more stuck on the fact she’s just asked about my sister. The one that isn’t here anymore.
Any trace of a smile defuses from my features. “Emilia died.” I hear the words tumble from my lips, but they sound foreign. It never feels right that my sister is dead.
Lex straightens as if I just electrocuted her. Those large doe eyes of hers round out the size of golf balls. A moment of stunned silenced bounces between us, thickening the air with a palpable grief, but our gazes have locked and remain unbreakable.
After a few hypnotic moments, Lex collects her things and zips through the doors, back into the heat of a sweltering Hollow Brook afternoon.
I was looking forward to seeing her tonight at The Pelican, and now after this awkward exchange, with the ghost of my sister lingering between us, I’m not so sure. For whatever reason, sharing my sister’s death even topically with Lex had the power to rip that wound right back open.
Lex and Emilia, my twin wounds. How I wish I could heal them both. How I wish I could have the two of them back in my life where they belong.
The Sloppy Pelican is a glacial oasis compared to the triple digit humid hot box otherwise known as Hollow Brook. That partially explains the elbow-to-elbow room at the establishment. The other part is due to the fact the 12 Deadly Sins are playing here tonight. Bryson, one of the owners at the Black Bear, called and asked if the Sins could play at The Sloppy Pelican. It’s their house band, and so the fact he offered means a lot. I know for a fact they have a huge following that extends far past the borders of Hollow Brook, thus the wall-to-wall bodies in here tonight. Bryson’s brother-in-law, Blake, is the lead singer of the band. He introduced himself when the band arrived, along with his wife, Annie. I remember Annie. She was in the news not that long ago. She was born deaf and had an implant put in to give her the gift of hearing. I remember thinking, now that’s a miracle. I might have even shed a tear or two. Hell, I know I did. It was Emilia who forwarded the story to me. It was always Emilia showing me the human interest pieces, pointing out that life was still good even though my broken heart insisted it wasn’t.
Lex walks in with that gorgeous mane of hair trailing her like a river of fire, those lasers she sees the world through already cutting me down to size, and something in me warms at the sight of her. And then she does the unthinkable. Lex pauses mid-flight and gives a slight wave before getting right to her station.
She waved. At me. The fact she didn’t highlight her middle finger leaves me more than stunned. Not that Lex has ever stooped to such levels. Her own boycott on expletives has always amused me. That, much like her need to barricade her heart, was because of her mother. I wish I could heal her wounds. I’d love nothing more than to sew her heart up with mine, stitching them together—two ragged halves to make a whole. I’ve always believed that Lex was my other half even that first day we met. Just as I’m about to segue into an entire mental montage of our entire relationship from start to finish, a body crashes into mine. I look down to find Abby Wilcox pressed to me with her chest pinned so tight against my body it feels as if I’ve just fallen against a pillow.
“Watch it, cowboy.” She gives a little wink but doesn’t move an inch.
I take a full step back and look up just in time to see Lex glance away with a scowl.
“Yeah.” I frown over at Abby. “I should watch it.” Odd thing was that I wasn’t the one in motion. She was.
She reaches up and curls her finger under my chin, and instinctually I flinch. “But while I’ve got you here—is there any way I can get you to help me out with a few tips and tricks on how to make it in this crazy world? Waitressing is a great gig, but I’ve got a mountain of debt and a degree that could use some dusting. I hate being busted. You’re a smart man. I’d love to spend some time with that brain of yours.” Her eyes drift down to my crotch. “Among other parts.”
And there it is, the overt invite she’s been hinting at for the last few weeks.
“I’ll see what I can do—about the brainstorming.”
Her lips twist with annoyance at the last part of that sentence. “Good enough.”
“My father also owns and operates Collins Enterprises. It’s the umbrella company he uses to acquire new businesses. You might want to check in with HR and see if they’ve got anywhere they can plug you in. Feel free to us
e my name. It’s quite possibly the only place on earth it does any good. But if I’m about to lose you to my father, give me a heads-up. I’d appreciate it.”
Her arm swivels around my waist like a cool slithering python, and a dark laugh brews in me. It was girls like Abby that I tried to fill the void with when things fell to crap with Lex. But now that’s she’s here, in the very same room, I’m afraid nothing in Abby’s bag of tricks will have an effect on me. Carefully, I peel Abby’s arm from my body, and we end up doing an odd little dance in the process. I glance up to find Lex outright glaring at the two of us, and this time she doesn’t bother to look away.
“What’s this?” Abby follows my gaze. “Oh, hon, her bark is worse than her bite. Who does she think she is staring down the boss like that? Don’t you worry. I’ll set her straight.” She makes a move in that direction, and I pull her back gently by the hand. Oddly, it looks like yet another dance move as she twirls and curls right into the crook of my arm.
“Don’t worry about Lex,” I say and I nod over to the station Abby should be tending to. “I’ll take care of her myself.”
Abby offers a dark giggle. “Sounds like something I wouldn’t mind you initiating on me sometime.” She gives my ass a quick pinch. “You better watch your back. The girls around here are tougher to handle than you think.” She takes off with a bounce in her step, and I can’t help but shake my head.
“Don’t I know it,” I whisper as I take off for Lex. Truthfully, I could have blown it off, been happy that Abby is busy doing what I pay her to, and left it at that. But Lex is here, and I can’t deny the gravitational pull any longer. I need to be next to her even if it’s simply to say hello.
Lex says something to a customer she’s tending to, and the entire table breaks out into laughter. She offers a sly wink to the merry bunch before taking off and bumping straight into me. Her body adheres to mine, and unlike the repulsion I felt with Abby, this is a private heaven that I don’t dare back away from.
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