Katy nodded and looked at the floor.
Megan stood. She began to pace. “Then you’re going to talk to him about this. And you’re going to ask him why he has Jessie’s picture on his nightstand. Maybe there’s some simple explanation. The last time you guys broke up, you never talked it out. It tore you up afterward. You have to confront him and listen to his explanation.”
“So he can squirm out of it?” Katy demanded angrily.
“Something’s not right about this. I feel like you’re missing some of the pertinent facts.”
“Believe me, I discovered more than I wanted. Now her picture is etched in my memory. Tramp.” Katy clenched her jaw and gripped the bed covering, allowing her jealousy to consume her.
Megan pulled up a chair and sat facing Katy. “Just because she’s an outsider doesn’t make her promiscuous.”
Katy’s mouth flew open. She’d thought of all people, Megan would understand. “You didn’t see her.”
Megan leaned forward, imploring, “But you can’t just accuse him and ruin your relationship without knowing for sure that he loves her. Sometimes things just aren’t the way they look.”
“Yeah? Well, it’s too late for that.” Katy felt her face heat. “I left him a note.”
Megan moaned. “You didn’t.”
Katy stared at the green comforter. “I was so angry that he betrayed me again. He told me he didn’t like her that way.”
Megan patted Katy’s knee. “But there has to be an explanation. You said Erin was in the photo. You want me to tell you what I honestly think?”
Looking up into Megan’s gaze, Katy replied, “Of course. That’s why I’m here.”
Megan’s pink cheeks indicated that she knew Katy came because she needed a caring shoulder more than someone who would lecture her, yet she was going to do it anyway. “I think you’ve never forgiven him. That you’ll never be able to move forward in your relationship until you quit judging him for what he’s done in the past. You live in fear because you can’t control the situation, and you don’t want to get hurt.”
“Of course I don’t want to get hurt!” Katy cried in her own defense.
“It’s not your job to control everything. It’s God’s.”
Katy trembled with resentment. “That’s a terrible thing to say.
Especially when I’m hurting.”
“But it’s the truth. You don’t trust God in this.”
Katy stood and moved away. “Maybe.”
Megan followed her. “There’s something else.”
Katy crossed her arms. “What?”
“You and Lil are like night and day. I’ve been mediating between you two for years. But did you ever stop to think that it isn’t Lil who starts the arguments or works herself into a huff?”
Katy hung her head. “That really hurts.”
Megan’s hand pressed Katy’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m tired of watching you pull the world down crashing around you. It’s just that you get so fired up, when a soft word could ward off so much of the distress you bring upon yourself.”
Katy shook her head. “I’m not wrong about this one. Jake loves Jessie.”
“Maybe so. But you need to give Jake a chance to explain the photo before throwing him into the discard pile.”
That illustration gave Katy pause. Not only discarded, but forbidden in big bold letters across his name on a paper in her Bible. She narrowed her eyes. Maybe Megan was right. She needed time to think about it.
“Do you want me to call him?” Megan asked.
Freshly showered and wearing boxers and a T-shirt, Jake padded down the hall in his bare feet. The cold medication he’d taken the moment he’d gotten home had made him drowsy. His sinuses ached, and all he desired was a tissue box and bed. Finding Kleenex in a linen closet, he plodded into his room and crawled under the covers with great relief. Too ugly to get sick. Yeah, right.
Earlier he had tossed his cell phone on his nightstand, and he remembered he still needed to plug it into its charger before he fell asleep. With his eyes closed, he reached over and patted the top of the nightstand. But his fingers touched something out of the ordinary, something out of place.
He propped up on his elbow and frowned at a piece of paper stuck between his Bible and the photo of Erin and Jessie. The only items on his nightstand should be his Bible, the photo, and his cell phone. He kept his watch, billfold, and change on his desk, so it couldn’t be a sales receipt. He didn’t remember placing any paper on his nightstand.
He brought it up to his face. We are through. I hate you. Just Katy. He frowned, turned it over, and saw his mom’s cleaning list on the other side. A shudder of dread struck him. His mom hadn’t told him that Katy was coming. His pulse quickening, he read it again. He closed his eyes in agony, knowing it was about the photo that Jessie had signed similarly.
A long time ago, when he’d asked Jessie her name, she’d told him it was Jessica, but she was just Jessie. So he often teasingly called her Just Jessie. Now he picked up the photo, and although he had the inscription memorized, he read it again, flinching at her pun, using the word steamy, and easily imagining how that had sounded to Katy. Love always, Don’t forget about those steamy, starry nights. Just Jessie. He wasn’t a fool. He understood exactly the images and insinuations that would have gone through Katy’s mind. And she thought he kept the photo there because he still cared about Jessie. He moaned, shoved everything back on the nightstand, and turned his back to it. He heard a crash. Women. Way too much trouble.
Jake awoke to music from his cell phone. With a groan he rolled over and swiped the nightstand for it, knocking it onto the floor. As he came to his senses, he remembered that Katy was mad. Was that her calling? Muttering at himself, he stumbled out of bed, bringing half the bedcovers with him, and scooped the phone off the floor. He glanced at the phone’s rectangular face, noting that the caller wasn’t Katy or anybody else he had in his address book.
“Hello,” he growled.
“Hi. This is Megan.”
“Yeah?” There was silence on the other end. He tried to sound more civil. “Megan?”
“I thought you should know that Katy came to see me this afternoon. She was really upset. With you.”
“I figured.”
“You sound weird. Is this bad timing?”
“No. I’ve got a cold.”
He could hear a feminine sigh. “I’m sorry. Anyway, I told her she needed to hear your explanation of why you keep Jessie’s photo on your nightstand. I’m hoping you have a reasonable explanation?”
“You bet I do. It’s not what she thinks. Thanks for sticking up for me. So …” He looked at the ceiling and sent up a quick prayer. Please, God. “Is she willing to listen to reason?”
“Maybe. You’re not going to hurt her again?”
He sighed. “No. Is Katy there? Can you put her on?”
“Just a minute.”
Listening to feminine protests, he grabbed up an armful of blankets and tossed the soft ball back onto the bed. Fortunately, Megan was trying to patch things up for him.
Finally, a familiar voice snapped angrily, “This is Katy.”
She acted like he’d called her instead of them calling him, waking him up, too. He really wanted to snap back at her for snooping in his room—for getting him sick—but he knew that when he felt better, he’d regret it. He gentled his voice. “I got your note. But I think you jumped to the wrong conclusions.”
“I thought she didn’t mean anything to you.” Now she sounded pouty. He could visualize her sulky lips, her smoky eyes. “I trusted you.” Now she sounded heartbroken, definitely vulnerable. That clenched his heart because he knew how much it cost her to reveal her jealousy.
For weeks he’d worked at earning her trust. Now if he wasn’t careful, he would lose her over a stupid misunderstanding. “Remember when I told you that Erin and Jessie became friends? That Erin was going down the same path I went? That I’d give anything to prevent that?”
“Anything, huh?”
He lay back on his pillow, disregarded her heated barb, and continued to speak softly. “I love my sister. And I worry about Jessie, too. I keep the photo on top of my Bible so that I remember to pray for them every night. It’s simple as that. There’s no attraction there. It’s you I love. Not Jessie. That’s the truth.” There was a silence, and he waited.
“You love me?” He’d told her that the night at the restaurant, too.
He quirked his mouth. “Yes I do.”
“But the inscription on the photo was so intimate. I was jealous.”
“You love me, too?”
She paused too long.
“Sorry. Dumb question.”
“I want to.”
He swallowed his disappointment. He’d just lost major points on trustworthiness. Her anger and jealousy revealed that she cared deeply for him. She said she wanted to love him. That probably meant she did love him but couldn’t trust him. If she wasn’t ready to do that, he shouldn’t push her. He might scare her away. Instead he needed to convince her of his sincerity. He needed to win her over, but not now when he felt so sick. “I wasn’t too ugly after all.”
“You’re sick?”
“Yep.”
“I warned you.”
“It was worth it.” Losing his battle against the drowsy side effects of his cold medicine and starting to shake with a fever, he pulled the rumpled covers up around his sore throat—that was getting more painful with talking—and off his bare feet. Shivering, he curled them up under the covers.
“I didn’t know you liked stars.”
He closed his eyes and managed, “Took a class in school.”
Her next sentence was long, distorted, and dreamlike, and then his mouth and hand went slack.
CHAPTER 31
Katy stood in the open doorway and glared at Jake. Then she slammed the door in his face and strode through the doddy house into the living room. Behind her, the door creaked open. She heard heavy, intruding footsteps.
“That was rude.” Jake’s voice was laced with irritation.
“Yes, I’m rude and obviously boring,” she replied. Then dropping to the sofa, she pulled a pillow onto her lap and hugged it to herself.
She felt the couch sink, and his shoulder brushed hers. “It was the cold medicine. I can’t even remember what I said to you yesterday. When Megan called, I was sleeping.”
She jerked her shoulder away from him. “We were discussing our relationship. Our crumbling relationship. I was baring my heart, and you started snoring. Or was that just an excuse not to have to talk about steamy, starry nights?”
He didn’t speak, and finally she glanced over at him. His face was pale, stricken. He still looked sick. “You told me you loved me?”
“No, I did not!”
“Well that’s a relief. I wouldn’t want to miss that.” He rubbed his jeans with his palms. “I vaguely remember telling you—”
“What?” She arched a brow.
He shook his head. “Never mind about that. Just tell me again why you’re mad. So I can make it right.”
She gaped at him. Then she spat out. “It hurt to see Jessie’s photo on your nightstand. And you didn’t care. You fell asleep on me.”
“What is the big deal about Jessie? I told you she’s just a friend.”
Hugging her pillow, Katy corrected, “Girlfriend. With whom you shared steamy, starry nights!”
“Like David was your boyfriend. Come on, Katy. This is childish.”
She felt heat rising up her neck and into her cheeks. “You know there wasn’t much between David and me.”
“Did you kiss him?” he demanded. Katy pressed her lips together. “And did you skate in his arms?” he asked. Her eyes narrowed painfully. Jake’s voice softened. “I know how you felt when you saw the picture because I felt that way when I saw you with David.”
“But I wasn’t emotionally involved with him.”
He eyed her skeptically. “So you want to hear about Jessie?”
She nodded.
“Fine. I’ll admit to some flirting, some dancing, a few kisses, toying with the idea of a relationship, and then dismissing it. Because I knew I was in love with you. It was the whole idea of exploring the world that she was part of, but it was only a fleeting attraction.”
It hurt to hear him admit what was between him and Jessie, fleeting or not, yet she also understood because it had been similar with her and David. There had been moments when David caused her pulse to race, and she had entertained a deeper relationship. Though she had wanted the relationship to deepen, it was always Jake who she loved. But had there been more between Jake and Jessie?
She needed to know. She felt her blush returning. She searched deep in his eyes, wanting to watch his facial reaction to the question. Then her heart fluttering like a caged bird seeking freedom, she asked, “Kissing? Was that all that happened between you two?”
His eyes didn’t dart away in fear, but softened and pleaded for her to trust him. “Yes. That was all. I’m saving everything else for you. If that’s been bothering you, I wish you’d asked me sooner.”
With relief she admitted, “Me, too.”
“And for the record, the steamy, starry thing was just a pun about a dud of a field trip. It was nothing romantic, just a joke because a group of us got stuck in a flash rainstorm.”
She gave him a skeptical look. “Everybody knows you don’t go stargazing on a cloudy night.”
“Now everybody knows.”
She couldn’t help but smile.
“Just a class project. That’s all it was, Katy. Nothing at all for you to worry about.”
He pulled her close, embraced her, and whispered, “I’m yours. Whenever you’re ready.”
She nodded against his shoulder. “Thanks.” Then she pushed away. She gave him an embarrassed smile. “So tell me about your astronomy class. And don’t fall asleep this time.”
Katy stood beside Jake’s truck, staring at the bejeweled sky. “So that’s the Milky Way?”
“The galaxy where our solar system is located,” he explained. His arm was draped across her shoulders. “You’re shivering. Want to go inside?”
She glanced up at him and troubled her lip, uncertain. His invitation included the use of his computer to post an Internet housekeeping advertisement.
By unanimous consent, Katy and Jake had decided it would be better if Ann got somebody else besides Katy to help with the cleaning and with Minnie. They just didn’t think their relationship could stand any additional drama. But this left Katy missing a chunk of income again. And the church bulletin board had been unfruitful.
Earlier in the evening, she’d watched Jake play basketball at the Penners. On the drive home, they had discussed a popular website where people could post free ads. Since the Byler farm was on the way to the doddy house, they had pulled in and parked in the circle drive to continue their conversation.
“It’s not forbidden.” He repeated the same argument he’d been using all evening. “The church permits computers for business purposes.” Jake’s Dutch accent grew thicker when he was adamant about something, as he was now.
She had already relented that the computer was necessary for his future as a businessman. He was right that the church allowed its members to use the computer for business purposes but strongly discouraged its use as a social outlet. They frowned upon browsing the Internet just for the sake of entertainment for the same reasons they discouraged owning televisions.
“Let me show you the site; then you can decide.”
The light shining through the kitchen window assured her they would not be alone in the house. “I guess.”
Inside the house, there was an awkward moment when Ann acted surprised to see Katy. It grew even more awkward when Jake explained, “Katy needs to use my computer.”
Ann glanced at the clock. “I guess it’s not too late.”
Katy felt the other woman’s disapproval. “W
e can do it another time,” she protested.
But Jake grabbed her hand and started leading her toward the stairway. “It won’t take long.”
“You want to come with us?” Katy threw over her shoulder.
“Sure. Let me just get Minnie situated. I’ll be right up.”
“Chicken,” Jake whispered.
At the top of the steps, they turned right, and he opened his bedroom door and motioned her inside. She forced her gaze to his desk rather than across the room to his nightstand.
Behind them, Ann called up the stairwell, “I’ll bring cookies.”
“Is she nervous about us being up here alone? Or is she mad at me?”
“Just playing the chaperone.”
Katy nodded, hoping that was true while Jake slipped into the chair and booted up his computer. While he was fiddling with his mouse, she couldn’t resist the urge any longer and glanced over at his nightstand. To her glee, the photograph was gone.
“What did you do with it?” she asked.
He knew what she meant and quickly replied, “I took it out of the frame and stuck it in my high school yearbook.”
“What about praying for them?”
“Funny. After our spat, I realized it had become such a habit to pray for Erin that I didn’t need the photo to remind me.”
“Of course you can pray for Jessie, too.” She couldn’t be that controlling. Could she?
He gave her a lopsided grin. “Thanks. Here’s the site I was telling you about.” He pushed back from the desk. “You sit down.”
Feeling a tad nervous, for she hadn’t used a computer since high school, which made it a couple of years now, she took his chair and stared at the unfamiliar screen.
“You just type your ad”—he hovered behind her and pointed at a blank space—“there.”
“I see. But I’m still considering if I really want to do this.” She brought up a new argument. “By using the computer, it’s pretty certain anyone who replies to the ad will be an outsider.”
“The church bulletin board hasn’t helped you,” he reminded.
“I know. I just hate using the Internet.”
“If you get work with an outsider, you can always quit if you get a better position.”
Plain City Bridesmaids Page 25