Megan went to refill her cup, but the pot was empty. “I see his point, but the brother–sister bond should be stronger.”
“It’s frustrating.”
Katy refilled the teapot and set it on the stove. During the second pot of tea, Lil told them about her frustrations at work. When she was finished, she glanced at Megan. “Tell Katy what you found out yesterday.”
Megan turned pink. “My boss is getting back together with his wife. It’s a good thing. He is taking an extended leave of absence. In the meantime, his brother is taking his place. He worked in the field before.”
“How will this affect you?” Katy asked. “Should we make a third pot for you?”
“I’ll tell you the story, Katy. But please, no more tea.”
The baby’s due in April. Jake is wonderful, doting on me. Lil remembered their earlier conversation. The words kept swirling in her mind, long after she and Megan left Katy’s home.
Why wasn’t she happier? Sure, she’d done the garbanzo dance at the time, but now she felt bereft. Lil glided slowly on the swing, remembering the Sunday when Fletch sat next to her, swinging and talking optimistically about their relationship. She sighed. That was before he realized he wasn’t happy with his life. She bit her lower lip, wondering if he had felt as miserable as she now did.
She wasn’t even happy with her job. It wasn’t the hard work—she’d never been afraid of work. It just didn’t fulfill her like she had hoped.
Her Bible lay open on her lap. She had been fighting against Fletch’s request to trust God with their relationship. Instead, she’d pleaded with God to bring Fletch back to her.
She gazed up at the canopy of brittle oak leaves and followed the trail of one to the ground. Her hopes and dreams were like those leaves. Lord, what are You trying to tell me? Have I been following the wrong dream all along? Fletch claims he had. Have I, too?
She stared at her Bible. Everything had pivoted around her goals for so long she didn’t know how else to live. Then her eyes fell upon a passage she had never read or heard before. She glanced at the header and thought grimly, I’m in the book of Job. How fitting, for of all Bible characters, Job’s life was one of affliction.
Starting at Job 8:12, she read a few verses: “Whilst it is yet in his greenness, and not cut down, it withereth before any other herb. So are the paths of all that forget God; and the hypocrite’s hope shall perish: whose hope shall be cut off, and whose trust shall be a spider’s web. He shall lean upon his house, but it shall not stand: he shall hold it fast, but it shall not endure.”
Lil gasped. She understood what the writer meant. Without God, her dreams were fragile and unable to hold up to life’s pressures. Like a spider’s web. Like brittle leaves. Her motives had been full of selfish ambition, always yearning for the spotlight. Just like those circus performers so long ago. Her dreams were never about God’s will. She was supposed to give the glory to God, but she’d fought all these years to claim it for herself.
She began to pant, Oh no. Oh no.
She’d been chasing something that was as foolish as a circus performer using a spider’s web for a net. “Foolish, foolish, foolish,” she gasped. She’d been just like her mom.
I’m so sorry, Lord. So ashamed. She put her face in her hands and cried out to God in waves of repentance until she had laid out all the ugliness. All her selfish whims and desires. Even rejecting the farm, hating it when it had been God’s gift to provide for her family. It had been a generational gift. A gift that had given her a pleasant childhood. Living on the farm, she had been able to enjoy nature, good food, and animals. He’d given her many friends and a loving family who stuck together no matter how much they disagreed.
I’m so sorry. I admit I’m caught in a sticky spider’s web. What now, Lord? Can You change my heart? I need firm ground for my feet and clear direction because I haven’t learned how to hear Your voice or appreciate Your gifts.
Two weeks passed. Peace settled over Lil. She still held the same job, but she went to work with a renewed bounce in her step. She was naturally a bouncy-step-type person, but she’d discovered the source of joy. It came from a continual, silent conversation with God. Telling Him her thoughts. Listening for those impressions He placed in her heart. Making Him a part of her day.
She couldn’t disregard a strong yearning for Fletch and wished she didn’t have to wait, that she could find out what was on his mind.
She hoped someday she would get the chance to tell Fletch how she’d changed. If she got another chance with him, she would be open to consider all the options for their future. She couldn’t picture herself as a missionary, and every time she tried to, she was impressed not to worry, to just trust God.
She spent her evenings searching scripture and allowing God’s powerful words to penetrate her spirit. Her resentment toward the rules and regulations of the church disappeared when her studies revealed the reasons behind them.
She’d had a long talk with her mom about the situation and discovered they were at similar places in their lives. It was heartening to think she didn’t have to wait forty years but could learn it now alongside her mom.
The goals no longer seemed as important as the journey itself.
CHAPTER 36
One day in early November, Lil stood in the vestibule speaking to Brother Troyer. “So I’ve been thinking about the spider web analogy in Job, and …” Brother Troyer’s gaze went spacey as if trying to recall her particular analogy, and he gave her a patient nod. “You know how spiders’ webs are all sticky and gross and once you get them on you, you can’t get them off?” His mouth twitched on the left. “And sometimes they’re so invisible you don’t see them and walk right into them. Other times they’re beautiful and useful to the spider, too. I mean without them, spiders wouldn’t eat, and I suppose spiders are good for something or God wouldn’t have created them. Anyway, I’m thinking of … say, television. Do you think it’s like that?”
Brother Troyer coughed. “Yes, I can see the similarities, but what is the question, exactly?”
In the many discussions they’d had since Lil had been reading her Bible and praying, she sometimes thought the preacher could be so dense. She opened her mouth to go at it from a different angle but snapped it closed again when every muscle in her body tensed. For somebody much more interesting than Brother Troyer had just stepped through the church doors and hesitated in the foyer.
Fletch? He looked taller, more wonderful. His jean-clad legs were planted purposefully, and somewhere beneath that button-down dress shirt was a heart that had surely stolen hers. His gaze swept over his surroundings. His hand went up to smooth his wind-tousled hair. It had been so long since she’d seen him that she’d forgotten how much the sight of him could send her heart racing and turn her brain to mush. And then his soft brown gaze rested on her.
“I …” Lil couldn’t remember what she and the preacher had been speaking about. “Excuse me.” She took a few steps toward Fletch and stopped.
Why was he here? To break up for good? To confess his love? She swallowed. Was she ready to accept his decision, or should she scram out the back door? She couldn’t move. He started toward her. And when he was so close she could have reached up and brushed his hair in place, he stopped. “Hi. I’d hoped you hadn’t forgotten me.”
Lil gave a nervous little laugh. “If I had, my memory is jogged now.”
“I came, Lily, to make my offer.”
Her heart did the complete somersault. “Here? Now?”
Then he smiled. “I thought it was the perfect place. If you’re willing, I’d like to be your guest this morning. See what your church is like. Do you think they’ll kick me out?”
She glanced down and couldn’t believe he’d worn his red tennis shoes. It was as if he had done it on purpose, because they didn’t even match his shirt. She looked back at him with confusion.
He shrugged and gave her a disarming, yet boyish smile. “If they’ll accept me, they need to
know who I am. That’s not to say I won’t change.”
Her congregation already knew all about him. There were no secrets in this church. She nodded, wet her lips. The service was ready to begin, and they were the last ones in the vestibule. She wanted to tell him how she’d changed and pour out her heart about how she’d found God, but she was curious about his offer.
“Mmm, you mentioned an offer?”
“Another reason I wore these shoes. To barter. I’ll give up my shoes or whatever else you or your elders require if you’ll let me pursue that mission opportunity I told you about. I went to some of their campus meetings. They have lots of short trips to other countries. I could go on those for now, and after I have my own practice and we have children”—he grinned mischievously—“there are other ways that veterinarians can support the work without actually traveling.”
“Children? I think your plan skips an important step.”
“No, I didn’t forget it. It’s all I can think about. But let me finish my offer. In return, I’d let you pursue your career.”
“You’re staying in Plain City?”
“If you’ll have me. Vic has offered me a job. I know what I want, Lil. I want you. I’ve already talked to your father. He gave me permission to date you with intentions toward marriage. Will you give me another chance?”
Lil reached up to touch his cheek. “Yes, I will. But I have one condition.”
“All right.”
“You’ll let me visit your church, too. And I have so much to tell you.”
“I’d like to kiss you right now, but I think that will have to wait until after the service.”
“I’m going to claim that kiss today. But right now you’d better hold my hand real tight or I’m going to embarrass both of us by doing the garbanzo dance down the aisle.”
Flowers were strewn down the center aisle of Fletch’s church, ribbons tied on the oak pews. After months of preparations, the day to unite their dreams and lives had finally arrived. Outside the church, dogwoods were making a showy splash of white and pink. May brought newness to Plain City and to Lil’s heart.
She examined herself in the mirror, still surprised every time she saw her reflection since Britt had taken her to a hairstylist. Lil had gotten her bangs professionally trimmed and her hair styled to wear straight just below her shoulders. She’d wanted something easy to care for when she went with Fletch on his upcoming mission trip to Vinces, Ecuador.
Michelle helped her position her veil, a traditional style that hung long down her back.
“Mommy, when I grow up, can I wear a covering like that?” little Tate asked. She held her yellow flower girl skirt out, posing in front of the mirror.
“When you’re older, we’ll see.”
Lil’s elegant dress was a slim, A-line style. Beaded lace adorned the bust and sleeves and ruched charmeuse accented her waist. She’d doubled her sit-up regimen. The plain satin skirt had a scallope lace hem.
Megan popped her head into the dressing room. “Katy’s feeding the baby; then Marie will take little Jacob, and Katy will join us.”
“Perfect.”
Megan fluttered over her, tugging here and moving there. “You look beautiful.” Together, they had shopped to find the perfect combination of elegant and modest. Not only in her wedding dress, but in her new wardrobe items.
No longer did Lil feel plain and restricted, but her clothes reflected her heart, modest in cut and cheery in color. She and Megan had grown close over the months they had shared the doddy house. There had been a time when Megan seemed sad, and Lil knew it had something to do with falling for a man she couldn’t have, but Megan had found her peace. The experience had given her an even lovelier spirit than before.
Dressed in a yellow bridesmaid dress, Megan reflected Lil’s joy. Her friend had been eager to move home again so the doddy house would become a honeymoon shack for the second time.
Lil clutched Megan’s hand. “I’m nervous. I need to see him.”
“You will soon enough.”
Katy opened the door and stepped into the room with Lil’s mom, who carried Michelle’s baby boy. “Jake said Fletch is ready. But you’ll never guess what your brothers did to him.”
“Oh no,” Lil groaned.
“They changed his real tux jacket out for one that was two sizes too small.”
“Oh, that’s going to ruin the wedding!”
“No. They had the right size, too. They just wanted to see Fletch squirm.”
Mom handed the baby to Michelle. “I’m sure Matt was the genius behind it. But I have a surprise for him.”
“You do?” Lil asked.
“I was thinking a squirt of hot sauce on his cake would be the perfect payback.”
Lil giggled, relieved her mom’s sense of humor had returned. “The cake is so lovely.” She took her mom’s hand. “Thank you for everything. You’ve taught me so much.”
Mom squeezed her hand. “Now stop, or we’ll have to cry. Anyway, the church is filled. I’m going to go ahead and get seated. Your dad is waiting in the foyer.”
Lil found him there, and together they watched Lil’s bridesmaids take their turns walking up the aisle. “I’m so happy,” she told him.
He patted her hand. “It all turned out good.”
Remembering that morning so long ago when her dad had first confided that the farm was in trouble, she knew his words held plenty of meaning. They expressed happiness over the farm’s financial breakthrough. Matt had signed the contract with the Mexican restaurant chain, and the herd’s disease was on the decline. But her dad also referred to the way the family had accepted Fletch and then agreed with Lil’s decision to attend a different church. The family was united and stronger than ever for working through their differences.
“It’s time, honey.”
Lil gripped Dad’s arm and floated down the aisle toward the blond groom in a perfect-fitting black tuxedo. Ever since their accidental meeting, he was all she had wanted in a man. His looks and charm first attracted her, but she’d fallen in love with his gentle strength.
Fletch’s sister, Erica, all the way in from Canada, sat at the piano and played the bridal procession. At rehearsal, Fletch had helped her position the piano bench just right so that she could reach across her pregnant belly. And Lil loved the French accent of Erica’s husband.
Her groom’s gaze, so full of reassurance and a dash of daring, drew her toward the altar where they would exchange their vows before God, family, and friends.
When at last the preacher said, “I pronounce you husband and wife; you may kiss your bride,” Lil melted into her groom’s embrace.
“For luck for the rest of our lives,” he whispered.
“And love!” she added breathlessly.
His sister started the music again, and together they swept down the aisle. About halfway, Lil couldn’t resist a few steps of the garbanzo dance. Laughing, Fletch clasped his hand around her waist and rushed her out of the sanctuary.
In the lobby, he drew her close for a real marriage kiss. She closed her eyes and cherished her husband’s eager embrace. Afterward, she looked into his tender gaze, so glad that she had dared to let go of old dreams and embrace something new.
At their reception, each person they greeted reinforced the Lord’s blessings along their journey. There was Giovanni waving them over to meet his wife and baby.
“This … eh … reminds us of our own wedding. In Italy. What can I say? It is spring and love is in the air.”
Lil asked if she could hold the little one. “Here,” Giovanni’s wife placed a cloth over Lil’s shoulder. “You must protect your pretty dress.” But she beamed to share her little one. “We are happy to be back in the States. Thank you for giving Giovanni his job back.”
“I was happy to fill in for him,” Lil replied, giving the baby a final kiss and returning her to her mama. She had never felt as relieved as when Giovanni returned and reapplied for a cooking position.
She sm
iled at Giovanni. “Remember your promise to give me time off when Fletch has his mission trips.”
“You already have the time off for your honeymoon. Eh! You are so demanding of Giovanni.”
Next, Fletch shook hands with Vic, and Britt hugged Lil. “Come for dinner when you get back from your honeymoon. I want to hear everything.”
“All right. But after that, it’ll be my turn to cook.”
Fletch and Lil paused in the vestibule before they made a dash for the limousine Marshall had insisted on renting. Marshall’s remission had been the only wedding gift Fletch had desired from his longtime friend.
Outside the doors, two long lines had formed, and they were to make a pass through the middle. It wouldn’t have been so bad if Lil’s brothers didn’t form one long, intimidating stretch of that line. His parents were first, clutching birdseed Dad had supplied from his job at the discount pet store. Mom had spent the winter editing her journals into a devotional for publication with a Christian publishing house. She was encouraging Lil to get started on her cookbook.
“Why are we waiting, Fletch? Are you getting cold feet?”
Fletch smiled at his adorable bride. “Not on your life. It’s not that I don’t want to get to the limo or start our new life together, but did you notice that long row of Landis men?”
“I’ll protect you,” she teased, grabbing up her gown’s hem in readiness. “Anyway, you might as well get used to it.”
“You’re right about that.” Fletch loosened his necktie. “Ready. Set. Go!”
Laughing, they ran through the line, spitting birdseed and making it without incident to the limo. The driver opened the door and waited until they were inside. Fletch wanted to steal another kiss, but Lil was waving madly at their family and friends.
The chauffer started the engine. When he did, the car came alive. Really alive! Turn signals blinked, lights glared, window wipers swished, and the radio blared. Every accessory had been turned on.
Plain City Bridesmaids Page 63