by Rye Brewer
“Ah, I see. And are you completely alone when you do this?” I was already on to Felicity’s game, and I had to give her credit.
Marigold nodded, and a few of the petals in her crown of flowers floated around her face. “There is a place designated for this, separated into rooms where we can be alone as long as we need.”
“Can you show me where it is?”
She hesitated for a split second before replying, “I can show you, but we’re not to disturb those in reflections.”
“I understand,” I assured her, though I had every intention of doing just that.
Not that I believed Felicity was actually meditating or whatever. She had Allonic and used this special, sacred tradition as an excuse to watch over him without being noticed.
I followed Marigold through the trees, watching my step all the way. She walked without looking down, having traveled this way many times. On the other hand, I had to be careful of thick, snake-like roots sticking up from the ground and the moss-covered rocks which blended in with the thick carpet of emerald grass.
I glanced up from time to time and saw the crisscrossing bridges spanning the spaces between the trees, heard the laughing voices of the fae as they traveled them.
Where was my father? I only hoped he didn’t see me, that none of them saw me. I couldn’t risk him finding out about my brother.
Assuming he didn’t already know. Did he? Would Felicity tell him? I doubted it—besides, I’d know if he found out. He’d tell me so. In no uncertain terms.
The trees thinned, and I realized we were leaving the heart of Avellane. “How far is this place?” I asked right before tripping over a concealed root and almost sprawling.
There was a reason bridge travel was preferred, I guessed. At least a person could see what they were about to step on, even if it meant walking over a rope bridge, hundreds of feet in the air.
“The Hermitage isn’t much farther,” she promised.
The Hermitage.
I had assumed she’d take me to a special tree or something.
Nothing could’ve been further from the truth.
I gasped when I first saw the way the warm, amber light of sunset hit the marble walls of the Hermitage. In broad daylight, they would’ve shone bright, brilliant white. Late in the day, however, the walls seemed to burn orange and gold and red.
“Pretty, isn’t it?” she asked, taking my hand when I stopped walking. I couldn’t help it. Some things required a person to stop and stare.
It was a huge temple, or what looked like one, set on a gently rolling hill. How had I never seen it before? Because it was too far outside the city of trees, where the fae made their homes. I had never ventured outside here.
The marble walls stretched hundreds of feet into the air. Almost miles, it seemed, and they were just as wide as they were tall, and dotted with small windows which I guessed were larger on closer inspection.
At the top of each of the four corners was a half-dome covered in what appeared to be gold and, in the center, was a giant dome spanning the roof—only this one was set with jewels in every color imaginable.
I realized the design of the dome was meant to reflect the trees and flowers of Avellane—the leaves and grass truly were emeralds instead of just looking like them, and the flowers were ruby, diamond, and citrine, plus a half-dozen stones I had no name for. Sapphire sky, pearl clouds. I stared, unmoving.
“Yes. It is striking. Sometimes, I sit by the hour, watching the sun play off the marble and jewels,” Marigold murmured.
I wondered how she ever managed to get anything done. I would gladly spend the rest of my life sitting and watching, never taking my eyes from it.
“Where did all the jewels come from?” I asked, awestruck.
“No one knows. There are legends, of course. A band of dishonest fae stole them from pirates many thousands of years ago. They were mined from somewhere deep below the ground by trolls. Who knows? It’s enough that we have the privilege of enjoying them.”
I wished I could adopt her carefree attitude.
“It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” I whispered, wiping my eyes with my sleeves. I would love to show it to Jonah.
“You should see it at sunrise. It’s indescribable.” She let out a happy little sigh, and I made a mental note to do just that one day.
When we grew closer, I noted a gently flowing river which ringed the Hermitage. Charming little footbridges crossed the water. We walked over one of them—I noted the fish swimming happily around, scales sparkling red and gold—and stopped at a gazebo hung thick with flowering vines. I guessed this was another place designated for quiet reflection—and with the sound of the water behind and the sight of the magnificence in front of it, I could see why.
“We’re not allowed to go in, right?” I asked, eyeing up the pair of golden doors inlaid with pearls, flanked by towering marble columns. One of them was slightly ajar, which was a good thing. I couldn’t imagine having to open them. They were ten times my height.
“Right.” Marigold shrugged. “I’m sorry.”
“No, no, that’s all right. I’ll wait here until Felicity comes out.”
She frowned. “It could be a very long time.”
“I can be patient when I have to.” I grinned. “And I could use the time to rest and relax a little. This is the first really peaceful place I’ve been to in… well, it feels like forever.”
She patted my arm. “I understand. I’ll leave you alone, then.”
I was counting on it.
She moved quickly, gracefully, crossing over the footbridge and walking down the grassy hill.
I waited until she was nothing more than a dot against the mossy tree trunks before turning my attention back to the Hermitage.
My heart skipped a beat as I approached.
The sheer gloriousness of the building inspired a feeling of reverence I wasn’t used to. What would happen if somebody spotted me and knew I didn’t belong here? No, no, I couldn’t think about that. And I did belong here. I was part-fae, and my father was the ruler. If anybody belonged here, it was me.
I stepped inside and instantly plunged into near-darkness. The high-set windows only allowed but so much light, and beams of it streamed down until they met up in the center and illuminated a pair of tightly spiraled staircases which ran up from the marble floor to the ceiling, so high up I had to crane my neck and still couldn’t make out the top. They reminded me of a double helix.
The staircases led to many floors, stacked on top of each other, and on them walked a handful of white-haired fae who traveled silently, hands either folded in front of them or behind them, none of them acknowledging each other. They were in their own worlds, I realized, deep in contemplation. That worked in my favor. I wouldn’t stand out if nobody noticed me.
The problem would be finding Felicity in all of this. Sure, she had made a good move by bringing Allonic to a place where nobody paid attention to anything past the tip of their nose, but I couldn’t exactly stand in the center of one of the staircases and call her name.
I jogged up to the first floor to start my search.
A person could get lost in here, I quickly realized with dismay. The rooms were small, clustered together. I peered into one through a door, which someone had left open, to find piles of cushions and a single thick candle burning on a pillar.
An elderly woman with a long, white braid sat on a cushion, staring up at the flame. That room led straight back to another, empty room, and then another beyond it. There were rooms on either side, too, all connected. On and on. How many were there?
I stepped aside to allow a pair of quiet young men pass, their eyes downcast. They turned a corner and disappeared into an alcove which, when I followed, I saw led to another, larger room with a trickling fountain in the center.
I turned and looked toward the open center of the building, where the staircases twisted together, then up to the floors above me, and was struck by the sensation o
f standing in the center of a beehive. The bees went about their business, moving through the interconnected rooms, single-minded in their purpose. A shiver ran down my spine. I didn’t know if I was inspired by what I saw or a little unnerved.
Felicity and Allonic. Find them. Right—this wasn’t the time for introspection.
I picked up the pace as I traveled the walkway which ran in a square around the center of the first floor, then dashed up to the next floor to repeat my search. Some of the doors were closed, which only irritated me. Felicity would close the door, wouldn’t she? How was I supposed to find her?
As it turned out, she found me.
“What are you doing here?” She met me on the stairs, surprise and concern and panic flashing across her normally serene face.
“I had to check on... him, of course. I wouldn’t leave him here and forget about him,” I hissed.
She glanced around, clutching my arm. “All right. Come with me. Three floors up.”
We didn’t run, instead taking on the slow, thoughtful pace of others going up and down the stairs.
I sensed the tension in her, the way she wanted to run flat-out, the strain of holding back. I knew the feeling. I wanted to run to him, too.
She led me to a small room, walking through four unused rooms along the way. I saw more cushions, candles, a fountain in the corner of one of them. One room was full of flowers which looked suspiciously fresh, like they were growing there instead of merely decorating the place.
When we came to the last room, I saw Allonic lying on a bier, and everything else fell away.
Felicity closed the door behind us as I went to him and dropped to my knees at his side.
We were along one of the Hermitage’s outer walls, judging by the window which allowed in the sun’s last waning rays. They fell across Allonic’s immobile face.
My heart sank.
He was still unconscious.
12
Gage
I held her hair and stroked her back as she threw up, trying to comfort her in any way I could.
I remembered what it was like when I turned, when Philippa turned. How miserable and terrified and sick we were. So sick. The seizures that ripped through us, the throwing up. The pain as every muscle in my body contracted at once. Wondering if I was dying, if it would ever end. Wishing I would die if that was what was going to happen anyway.
The gagging slowed then stopped.
Cari sat back on her calves and took a deep, shuddery breath—before another seizure tore through her. Her eyes rolled back as she convulsed, and I tried to hold her as still as I could—I was afraid she would hit her head on the toilet or the floor if I let her go.
“It’ll be over soon,” I promised and wished I could go through it for her. But I couldn’t protect her from everything.
Her head lolled forward. She was unconscious. Probably better for her.
I waited until it seemed like her body was through with the shaking and convulsing then carried her back to the living room, placing her on the couch as gently as I could.
She was a mess.
I went back to the bathroom for washcloths and towels and did what I could to clean her up—the blood had dried on her skin, but a little persistence took care of it.
Once she was clean, I raided the closets for a robe. She couldn’t stay in that ruined dress. I was careful to lift her without waking her up and tried to give her as much dignity as I could.
It wasn’t easy. They had left her in terrible shape. At least her wounds had healed.
One of the perks of being a vampire.
She was so beautiful. How could anybody hurt something so beautiful? So special?
She might not have been pure in the traditional, old-fashioned sense, but there had been a purity about her just the same. No pretense, no affectations.
She had been herself and nobody else, and she never would’ve changed for anyone. There was purity in that. And she had been good and honest and sweet and that was all over, too.
I touched her face and remembered what it had been like to watch her die. I would’ve done anything for her. Anything to keep her from dying. I would’ve even turned her into something like me.
I wrapped her up and left her on the couch. Then, I picked up her dress and held it in my hands. The scents coming from it filled my nose.
The blood. Sweat—not hers, either. His. When he raped her. I smelled him all over the torn, ruined fabric. He did it because of me. They all did what they did because she knew me and they assumed she knew me better than she did.
It was all my fault, from beginning to end.
And she would always be cursed because of me.
The league would never accept her—they had to sanction the turning of humans in advance, which of course they hadn’t. They wouldn’t allow her to live. And I wouldn’t want to live without her.
I slid my arms under her sleep-heavy body and lifted her then sat with her on my lap as the sun rose over the tops of the buildings and shone through the custom-treated windows.
What was I going to do?
13
Cari
A beating sound woke me.
Thump, thump.
Thump, thump.
Even, like a drum. Steady. It reverberated under my ear.
A heartbeat?
My eyes fluttered open. Where was I? I froze—it seemed the best thing to do. My eyes darted back and forth.
A living room.
I felt as though I should recognize it. Faint memories pulled at the corner of my mind.
“You’re awake.”
I flinched and looked up.
It was Gage. He was holding me.
I had been asleep in his arms. That would explain all the weird images racing through my head.
“Oh, jeez.” I laughed softly, shaking my head. “It was all a dream. Okay.”
“I’m sorry, but it wasn’t. I was with you the whole the time. It was all real.”
My heart sank. “Oh. So, I guess I really am starving for blood. That’s not just my imagination.”
“I’ll help you with that.” He nudged me off his lap and went to the kitchen. I watched as he poured a goblet of… blood?
“What? I was just kidding!”
“No. You weren’t.” He was smiling as he returned to the couch.
“Why would I want blood?” I gagged a little at the thought.
Until he held the goblet up to my nose and I wanted it.
I wanted it more than anything. My mouth watered until I practically drooled.
“Here. Drink it. You need it.”
I took the goblet from him and looked down into the deep-red liquid. I shouldn’t want it. Nothing about wanting it made sense. I hated myself for wanting it the way I did. Even so, I lifted it to my lips and took a tentative sip.
Then another. And another.
Until I was gulping it down. It was so good. It was sweeter than I’d expected, and I only wanted more with every swallow.
I hated myself.
I shouldn’t want to drink it, but I did. I needed it. I would die without it. Tears streamed down my face as I drank.
I stopped myself short of licking the inside of the goblet before handing it back.
Gage watched me with a strange, knowing smile. “I remember that feeling,” he said with a nod. “Like you’ll die if you don’t get more, but you can’t believe you’re doing it.”
“Yes! I don’t understand it. I hate myself for this, but I still want more. You know?”
“Of course. It’s okay. Don’t blame yourself.”
I sighed. “So, everything was real, then. I mean, I just drank blood. That actually happened. Everything else must have, too.”
“Yes. It happened. I know it’s hard to believe.”
I flinched when the image of Dietrich flashed across my mind. He was on top of me, looking down. Snarling. Sweating and grunting. “I want to kill him,” I whispered.
“I know. Me, too.”
>
“I need to find him.”
“No, you don’t.”
“What? You just said you wanted him dead.”
“I do. But you can’t go into the city anymore.”
Not what I expected. I waited to hear more, but he left it there like I was supposed to understand.
“Why not?”
“It’s not a simple explanation. And it’ll sound outrageous.”
“More outrageous than the fact I just drank blood?”
He paused for a second then nodded. “Yeah. Worse than that.”
“Just tell me, please.”
He took a deep breath. “We have a league. Our ruling body. And they have rules based on a treaty that was signed a long time ago. One of those rules was we can’t change humans into vampires—and I didn’t mean to,” he added. “I knew it might happen, but I was trying to heal you, not turn you into one of us.”
“So I’m… not allowed? By law?”
“Right. So, you know… they… will kill you.”
“Kill me?” I squeaked.
“Yes.” He wasn’t kidding.
I jumped up. “How would they know who I am? This is ridiculous!”
“Relax.”
“How can you tell me to relax? You just told me I’ll be killed for stepping foot out the door, for Christ’s sake!”
“I’m sorry, but yes. You’re a fledgling vampire, and you have an aura around you.” He rose and reached for me.
I moved out of arm’s length—he wasn’t going to hug it out with me. Not at that moment, anyway.
“Let me get this straight. I can’t leave this apartment. Right? Not ever?”
“Right.”
“That’s ridiculous!” I shrieked. “I have a life! I have a job and a family and friends and a cat! My cat needs me!” I wrapped my arms around myself when I couldn’t stop shaking.
“I’m so sorry,” he said with a frown. “You’re not the person you used to be. Your old life is gone now.”
“No! No, I refuse to believe this!”
I couldn’t even see straight. Blood rushed in my ears. My heart pounded. I raised my hands and saw that they had turned to claws.