“I’m just a little rusty,” I said, lifting my hands and shrugging. “We haven’t practiced in weeks.”
“So what?” Gage scoffed. “Those songs are old as shit. We mastered them a long time ago. You should have them memorized by now.”
I ignored him, glancing in Lauren’s direction. To my surprise she was coming our way, her fingers folded in front of her. My heart pounded heavier in my chest with each step she took. Tucking a lock of hair behind her ears, she finally stopped a few feet away and looked at all the boys, purposely avoiding my eyes. “Hey guys,” she murmured.
“What’s up?” they all said at the same time.
I didn’t speak.
“Um…” She finally looked at me. “Can I steal Montana from you guys for a sec? It’ll be quick.”
I rolled my eyes, taking a hard gulp of my Coke. Oh how I wished it was something heavier. “You don’t have to ask the band’s permission to speak to me.”
“Dude… don’t be dick,” Roy hissed, shaking his head and looking away.
As much as I hated being told what to do, I knew listening to Roy was always the wiser choice. Roy was the wisest and most patient of us all. Although we hated to admit it, all of us looked up to Roy. He was like the older brother none of us ever had.
I swallowed hard, looking at Lauren. I didn’t look into her eyes, though. No. I couldn’t. Her eyes always made me weak. “I’ll meet you by the exit,” I told her.
“Okay,” she breathed, spinning around and trotting off in her sandals.
The boys watched her disappear and then leaned in, looking me over. “All that tension,” Deed said. “Gonna tell us what happened or what?”
“Long story short, we spent a few days in Cali together. We fucked a lot. Drank a lot. But the last night we spent together went kind of… downhill.” I sighed and shrugged.
“Downhill—wait,” Gage said, fighting a laugh. “You mean to tell me you actually spent more than one night with one girl?”
“Yeah, man. Trust me, I’m surprised too. But it worked out the first few days…”
“Until shit got real,” Roy said as if he were completing my sentence.
I nodded, lowering my gaze. “Yeah. Exactly. Shit got way too real.”
“So?” Deed placed his empty can down. “You like her. Isn’t shit supposed to get real?”
“Hell no. I didn’t want it to. She was looking for a good time and so was I. You guys know how long I’ve been trying to bag her. It was finally happening, and I couldn’t refuse her offer…”
“So she invited you?” Gage asked.
“Yes. She invited me to her hotel. But I got my own room.”
They all released a breath, one I didn’t even realize they were holding. “Shit. I was about to say…” Deed laughed.
“Say what?” I asked.
“I can’t imagine you of all people sharing a room with a girl for more than one night. That shit is a fucking fantasy for women. You said it—actually, you bragged about it.”
“I mean… we did sleep together one night. And I stayed with her the rest of the day.” Roy chuckled. I looked at him, frowning. “What the hell is so funny? See, this is why I don’t tell you shit—”
He laughed again, cutting me off. “Dude, just go talk to her. There’s a reason she wants to talk to you alone. She obviously feels like she screwed up somewhere, and by the way you’re acting all gloomy and defending yourself and shit, I can tell you aren’t trying to let her go just yet. Go work that shit out… get back on good terms. I’m sure that’s what you both want.”
I blinked. “Fuck,” I breathed. “You wise fucker. Always fucking with my head.”
Roy lifted his hands in the air, smirking. “It is what it is. None of us are judging you.”
“Yeah, and it’s about damn time this shit happened!” Gage shouted. “We were starting to think you were gonna be a single old man, gulping down Viagra pills and shit.” They all laughed.
“Ha ha.” My tone was sarcastic. I stood from the sofa and blew out a breath, looking in the direction Lauren had walked in. I ran the palms of my hands down my jeans, shaking my head. “Why the fuck am I nervous?”
“You got more than the hots for her, that’s why,” Deed said, laughing manically. “You’re pussy whipped.”
I flipped him off. “Oh, Deed, don’t even get me started. Not with the way you always run off to the dressing room and call Megan after every show just to tell her in your baby voice all about how great you performed. You’ve got a bad habit of sounding like a bitch when you’re on the phone with her, you know that, right?”
His face stiffened.
I laughed, and Roy and Gage fought theirs. “Yeah… doesn’t feel good, does it?” I asked.
Deed stuck up his middle finger. “Asshole. Go find your red head.”
I laughed again, turning my back to them and heading down the hallway. I felt good going after her. After talking to the boys, I felt… alive again. Talking to them always took some of the weight off my shoulders, but I knew the rest of the weight wasn’t going anywhere until I squashed this beef with Lauren. I didn’t want her upset with me, and I was tired of being upset with her.
I missed her, and at first, I hated thinking that way, but as time passed, I had to face the truth. I missed hanging out with her. Talking to her. Sleeping with her. Making out with her. I missed fucking her. I missed her smart-ass mouth. I missed way too much shit about her, and, truthfully, I wanted more of her.
I hadn’t had enough two weeks ago. Shit, I wasn’t even close to getting enough. With her, I felt like I’d never get enough. That’s how good she was—that’s how good she made me feel.
Maybe Deed was right. I was pussy-whipped. I didn’t think it’d ever happen to me, but nothing was wrong with that, was it?
LAUREN
Thirteen
He still looked the same. There was a bit of sadness behind his eyes, a sadness that had never been there before, but I refused to take the blame for that. Anything could’ve happened in those last two weeks to put him down.
He still stood tall and confident though. Although his eyes were on everything but me, he had his head held high and his chest poked out as if he were Superman. He was being strong, which was good. This conversation needed to happen. We left each other on nasty, open-ended terms, and they had to be fixed immediately.
“So… you gonna talk or what?” Montana asked, sliding the tips of his fingers into his front pockets.
“Right.” I smiled, taking a step back and crouching down. I took a seat on the curb, staring ahead at the setting sun. A few people that were still running the fundraiser talked into the mic, introducing another band. The voices and cheers echoed, but they didn’t block out what had been running through my mind ever since our fallout. “Why did you leave?” I asked.
He scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. “You’re seriously asking me why I left?”
“No, I mean…” I paused, chewing on my lip. “Look, I understand why you left but… why so soon? I came back up that night, and you weren’t there. Then I came up the next morning, and housekeeping had invaded your room.”
He sniffed, running a hand over his face. “There was no need to stay. You told me you’d had enough. I had shit to do that I’d postponed, so I booked a flight and left.”
“Oh.” I wasn’t sure what to say to that. Yes, he was being dry and a bit harsh, but it was expected, and I couldn’t really blame him for his behavior. He was still upset. His gaze was pointed towards the horizon, and his piercings twinkled as the sun reflected off of them. His face was sullen… it was so different. God, I hated seeing him that way—so in the dumps. So miserable looking. This wasn’t the Montana everyone knew. This was a new one. He was bothered, and it was because of me. It was only fair to make things right, lift his spirits again.
Standing to my feet, I brushed off my bottom and walked around him, standing directly in front of him. He didn’t bother looking down at me. I could t
ell he wanted to. He was struggling, but he didn’t.
“Look, Montana… I apologize for what I said to you. I realized that same night that you were right. I shouldn’t have accused you. And I should’ve believed you when you told me you weren’t flirting with that girl. I was just… paranoid and afraid you were losing interest in me.” I tucked my hair behind my ears. “Will you ever be able to forgive me?”
His throat worked up and down, and slowly, his eyes slid to meet mine. We studied each other as the band that was now playing caused constant echoes in the distance. He twisted his lips, looking me deep in the eyes until he finally said something that sent an immediate gush of relief swimming through me.
“She had nothing on you, Princess. Nothing. I don’t know what you got so worked up about.” He gave me a lazy smile. There he was. The playful Montana. I adored it, but most of all, I adored the nickname. I’d never been so happy to be called that in my life. I blushed, pleased by his words. He tilted my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes again. “I shouldn’t have went to talk to her anyway… I was just kinda pissed, you know? You were acting strange, and I was all confused…” He paused, blinking quickly. “I’m sorry too, Lauren, but it’s gonna take me a while to understand you. You know that, right?”
I laughed. “Yeah… I guess so. I admit I can be a bit complicated.”
“A bit?” He grinned. “Try very complicated.”
“Oh, whatever.” I smiled up at him. My chin was still trapped between his fingers, and the longer we looked at each other, the thicker the air became between us. His eyelids lowered, and he leaned in, slowly running his tongue across his lips. His mouth was only a breath away from mine. My heart stumbled in my chest as I waited—waited for him to make the first move.
“Kiss me,” he murmured. “And don’t give me any bullshit either. Kiss me like you mean it. Like you’ve missed me… ‘cause I know you have.”
I stepped in closer, smiling as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Our lips were still close, our heads tilted in opposite angles. “Did you miss me?”
“Like fuck,” he groaned, and then he crushed my lips, drawing me in closer to his body. The warmth of his arms pleased me, and I indulged, sinking deeper into him. His lips were just as soft and warm as I remembered, so plush and savory. I moaned as he parted my lips with his tongue and went for a slow, sensual taste of me. His tongue swirled around mine, and I held on tighter. Goodness, I missed this so much. His touch. His body. The way he made me tingle and clench in my panties. I lied when I told him I’d had enough. It was a bold face lie. I had had nowhere near enough. I was just terrified of what our relationship was turning into. A fun week in Cali transitioned into something much deeper and much more frightening. I was still petrified to think about it, but that didn’t top the way I felt about him.
I had a good time with Montana, and I wanted to spend more time with him. I became addicted to his personality. I longed for his compliments and his teasing. I loved who he was because he was real and true and genuine with me… well, at least that’s what I assumed. By the way he was kissing me, it proved his feelings were mutual.
Yes, I was scared of letting him in too deep, but it’d been long enough, and for once, I had to put the fear aside and just let life take its course. There was no point in fighting whatever this was between us. Fighting only made me ache; it only caused suffering between the both of us—suffering that was truly unnecessary.
Montana groaned, and I giggled behind his lips. He finally broke the kiss, pulling his mouth away and smiling down at me boyishly. “Damn I missed that,” he said, his voice husky. A chill trickled down my spine.
“Me too,” I whispered, pressing my nose against his.
He tilted his head back and placed a kiss on the tip of my nose. “What do you say we get outta here and go catch some dinner?”
“But the fundraiser… doesn’t the band have to go out there one last time?”
He shrugged it off. “Yeah, but it’s only to thank the crowd for coming out. No performing or anything. I’m sure the boys can handle it.”
“Well…” My lips twisted. “If you’re sure about it.”
He dove in and kissed me tenderly. I tingled from my throat to my core with warmth and delight. “I’m positive. We’ve got some catching up to do—actually a lot of catching up to do.” His eyebrows wiggled and a naughty smirk slowly appeared on his lips.
A smile stretched across mine as I looked him in the eyes. He was bad… but oh so good. He had no idea how wonderful those words made me feel.
***
Montana ended up taking me to a quaint Italian restaurant built on a slab in front of a vast, sparkling lake.
“My favorite place to eat whenever I’m in my hometown,” he said after we’d taken our seats.
I smiled in his direction, adjusting myself in my seat. “Yeah?” I grabbed my menu and opened it. “What do you order?”
“I keep it simple, babe. The chicken Alfredo with extra Alfredo sauce and about a pound of parmesan cheese. Can’t beat that. This place serves the best damn chicken Alfredo I’ve ever eaten.”
“I guess I’ll have to try that then… minus the cheese,” I teased.
He smiled. “Alright, but I’m telling you right now, you’re missing out.”
I held up my forefinger and thumb, making a small space between them. “Okay… maybe a little cheese.”
“Atta girl.” He grinned.
A young waiter came to our table and asked for our drinks. I went with a glass of white wine and Montana ordered a beer. The waiter nodded and started to turn, but paused immediately, glancing over his shoulder at Montana. “Hey… aren’t you apart of a band?”
“What gives it away? The mohawk?” Montana asked, fighting a smile.
“No… I mean… I know I’ve seen you before. There’s a billboard right in front of my apartment complex with your band on it.” The waiter snapped his fingers. “FireNine right?”
“Bingo.”
The waiter smiled. “That’s awesome. Hey, congrats on the upcoming tour, man. It’s great to see people from our city doing something big.”
Montana nodded in appreciation. “Thanks, man. I appreciate it, and I’m sure the rest of the band would’ve appreciated hearing that too.”
The waiter gave a toothy smile. “Of course. No problem. I’ll be right back with your drinks.”
We watched the waiter walk away and meet at the bar. As soon as he stopped, he said something to the female bartender, and she looked our way, eyes wide. I laughed, lowering my head. “Big fans here,” I said.
“Hometown. At least they aren’t making a scene.”
“But you love scenes,” I joked. “Scenes are your thing.”
“Nah…” His face became serious. “You know, I realized something this morning…”
I straightened myself in my seat. “Yeah? What’s that?”
He shrugged, as if what he was about to say wasn’t that big of a deal. “I realized the fun I used to have has faded a little.”
“Faded? What do you mean?”
“Like…” He spread his fingers, his elbows on the table. “I don’t know. I tried going out again, being myself, but I wasn’t up for the partying or the clubbing. I’m sort of… over it.” I nodded but was still confused. He lowered his hands to place them on top of mine. I stared down at our fingers, watching as he entwined them. “I keep having these flashbacks of when we first met, memories of how intrigued I was by you.”
“Yeah?” I whispered. My face was burning. I was blushing.
“While we were apart, all I could really think about was you. And, at first, I couldn’t stand it because I felt like you hadn’t even given me a second thought—”
“Oh… no, Montana. Please.” I cut him off, shaking my head swiftly. “For the past two weeks, all I’ve felt was guilt and shame. What I did was highly immature and so beneath me. I was just afraid of…” I trailed off, unsure if I wanted to complete my sentence.
“Afraid of what?” he asked in a low voice.
I looked up, peering into his sincere eyes. He really wanted to know. In his eyes, I could tell he already knew the answer but was waiting on me to say it. He wanted to know that I felt the same way as he did. “I was terribly afraid of falling for you.”
“Falling… for me? Is that what’s happened here?” he asked jokingly.
I laughed. “I like you a lot, Montana. I couldn’t stop thinking about you when you left.”
“I like you a lot too, Lauren. You’re not alone. Trust me.”
I nodded and twisted my lips. “It’s just… I know how wild you are, and I know you are very spontaneous. I don’t want to like you this much if it means it’ll be a waste of time.”
His head tilted. “You’re right,” he said. “I am spontaneous, and I can be wild, but I can do all that with just you. Am I scared? Fuck yeah.” He laughed. “Am I worried about fucking up? Fuck yeah. But… I can control myself.” He swiped his nose. “I don’t know… it just seemed like with you around none of the other shit really mattered. We were having a good time. I didn’t want to screw it up, but I did anyway. I don’t regret much, but I do regret the hell out of hurting your feelings.”
He squeezed my hands, his gaze holding mine. I knew it took a lot for him to say that to me. By the look on his face, innocent and desperate, I could tell his words were foreign to him. I refused to take that for granted, so I smiled and returned the hand squeeze. Words of hope slipped through my lips, words I didn’t know I had the courage to speak. “It’s okay. It’s the past. You and I are moving forward now.”
His eyes broadened and his smile grew so big and so boyish that I instantly fell for him all over again.
***
After dinner, Montana drove about ten miles and pulled up to the most beautiful complex I’d ever laid eyes on. The buildings were made of smooth white bricks, bright gold lights, and adorned by a fountain out front, spouting water through the shimmers of golden luminescence.
As we pulled up to the curb, a valet rounded the car. Montana hopped out. I hesitated on unclipping my seatbelt, watching as he handed the valet the keys to his Audi. After releasing his keys, he walked around the car and opened my door.
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