* * *
Cathy handed Eli a cigarette. She fumbled with her lighter. She wasn’t used to lighting her own smokes.
Eli turned it over in his hands.
They were sitting at the top of a mountain on a windy, country road. Cathy knew this place, because you could climb down over the guard rail and sit on the rocks. Then you could see the whole town laid out in front of you.
She hadn’t been sure if Eli would go for it. She thought he might be too afraid. Of falling. Of getting his clothes dirty.
But he’d surprised her, climbing down without any qualms, grinning the whole time, like he’d never had so much fun in his entire life. The wind had blown the gel out of his hair, and it looked actually messy, not artfully so.
“You never smoked before?” Cathy said, discovering that lighting a cigarette on her own was actually easy. She sucked in the smoke.
Eli put the cigarette in his mouth. “Never.”
She handed him the lighter.
He lit the cigarette and took a drag. Immediately, he began coughing.
Cathy laughed. “That’ll happen the first time.”
He tried again. Coughed again. “These things are disgusting,” he wheezed.
“Yeah.” Cathy contemplated hers. “I might quit, actually.”
Eli put his cigarette out. “Not for me, I don’t think.”
“Okay,” she said.
“Does that diminish me in your eyes?” he asked. “You think I’m a big wuss now, ‘cause I won’t smoke a cigarette? I noticed that Heath guy was puffing away.”
Cathy looked out over the cliff, down at the tiny houses so far beneath them.
“What’s going on with you and him?”
She shrugged. “Nothing.”
“Nothing?” He laughed in disbelief. “You were, like, mating with him.”
“I wasn’t…. we don’t…” She sucked on her cigarette. “It’s complicated.”
“You’re with him. Why’s that complicated?”
She blew out smoke. “He’s always been around. We grew up together, you know. And he takes care of me. But sometimes… sometimes, it feels like I’m inside this balloon, and someone’s sucking out all the air, and it gets smaller and smaller and smaller. And Heath is just part of all of that. But you…” She looked at him. “You’re outside of it all. You’re different.”
“So you want to break up with him?”
“We’re not together,” she said. “I mean, we are, but…”
Eli let out a long, slow breath. “So what you’re saying, Cathy, is that you want me to wait around while you figure out what you’re feeling.”
“You don’t have to do anything,” she said. “I’m not forcing you into anything. You can do what you want.”
“I want you,” he said.
The wind blew her hair into her face. She pushed it aside.
“If you don’t want me back, then tell me. Put me out of my misery.”
She took another drag from her cigarette. “I want to be able to breathe. I want to get out of this town. I want to go to a city. I don’t want to be tied down to anything. To anyone. Not Heath. Not you. Is that wrong?”
“I don’t know. Does it matter? I thought we were doing all the wrong things today.”
She stubbed out the cigarette. “We are.” She turned to him. And before she could talk herself out of it, she pressed her lips against his.
It was a short kiss. Just lips on lips, the wind whipping around them in the fall morning, the leaves crumbling as they were whisked through the air. And then she pulled away.
Eli touched his mouth.
Cathy hugged herself. She shouldn’t have done that. If Heath knew…
Heath was stuck working the fields. Maybe she’d gotten him back into the tenant house, but everything was shitty for Heath, and she was skipping school and kissing other boys, and she was probably the worst person that ever lived. What the hell was wrong with her? She’d practically told Heath she was ready to have sex with him. Shouldn’t that mean that she wouldn’t feel anything for Eli anymore?
She got up. “I want to go to school. I just remembered I have a test in French.”
Eli shook his head. “Oh, man. Cathy, you’re going to fuck me up, aren’t you?”
2013
Thera spent the first four hours screaming and pounding on the door of the room she’d been locked in. Then, realizing that no one was coming to help her, she curled up on the bed and cried.
Heath had taken her cell phone. When she looked out the window, she saw that he was moving her car too, as if he wanted to erase any trace that she’d ever even been there. Was he going to kill her? She couldn’t help but feel as if she’d somehow stumbled into a horror movie. Would Heath dress her up in her mother’s old clothes before he slit her throat?
Maybe he’d set her loose on the farm at night. She’d run through the fields in the darkness, trying to get free, but he’d be behind her, laughing that deep laugh of his, always on her heels. He’d wait until she got tired, and then he’d pounce on her like a wolf. He’d rip her apart with his bare hands.
She watched the sunset out the window.
It grew dark in her room.
There was only one lamp, a small one by her bedside. She turned it on, but it only illuminated a tiny circle of yellow light.
She should have listened to her father. Eli had told her that Heath hated her. But she’d thought the idea was too ludicrous to consider. Now, she was trapped here, and she didn’t know what was going to become of her.
There was a rattle at her door, the sound of a key in the lock. The door opened, and a boy came in.
Well, actually he was older than a boy. He must have been a few years older than she was. He wore a baseball cap, and his ponytail stuck out the back of it. His face was grimy, and he had an unkempt beard and mustache. He might have been halfway attractive if he wasn’t so dirty.
She let out a little cry.
“Dinner,” he said.
Dinner? They were letting her out for dinner? Or was this a trap? Were they going to lure her downstairs to their workshop of pain, hang her by a hook, and carve out her entrails?
The guy looked up at her from underneath the bill of his cap.
His eyes looked almost kind.
She scooted forward on her bed. “Do you know what they’re doing to me? You’re not one of them, are you? You could help me. Get me out of here, get me to my car. Please.”
He looked down, the hat obscuring his expression. “Dinner. Come on now.”
On the other hand, maybe she’d completely misread his expression. Maybe he was simple or something… mentally handicapped.
She folded her arms over her chest. “Tell Heath I’m not hungry.” She was starving. But she wasn’t going to make anything easier for her captors. She was going to fight.
“Come on now.” He gave her a plaintive look.
“Is that all you can say?” she asked. “That, and ‘dinner’?”
He sighed. “Just come on.”
“No.” She lifted her chin.
He crossed the room to her and grabbed her upper arm, forcing her to her feet.
“Ow, you’re hurting me,” she said.
He was strong. She tried to fight but couldn’t. He dragged her across the room, and she let him.
“Come on now,” he said.
“What are you, some kind of retarded lackey for Heath? Do you even know what he’s making you do?”
The man’s nostrils flared. He made a growling noise in the back of his throat. He looked at her, his expression intense. “Shut up.”
She quaked. Okay, whatever he was, he was scary.
He yanked her down the steps, through the little hallway at the bottom, and into a dining room. He shut the door behind them.
Heath and Linton were already sitting at the dining room table. It was covered in a red velvet tablecloth. There was an elaborate candelabra in the center, lit with candles that dripped wax down in wh
ite rivers.
Thera turned, scrabbling for the door handle.
The man pulled her away. He dragged her to a seat across from Linton. And then he sat down too.
“I see you’ve met Gage,” said Linton, his blue eyes sparkling.
So that was the oaf’s name. She shut her eyes. “I don’t appreciate being fetched down to dinner like a dog. And perhaps Gage would be better off in a facility or something. He’s clearly not all there mentally.”
Gage glared at her.
Heath roared with laughter.
Linton giggled. “You see, you idiot, even she thinks you’re stupid.”
“There’s nothing wrong with Gage’s mind,” said Heath.
Oh. Thera was embarrassed. “I-I’m sorry,” she said to Gage.
“Fuck you,” said Gage.
She blinked. Why was she being polite anyway? She was a prisoner here. These people were holding her against her will. She pressed her lips together in a firm line.
Heath passed her a platter of summer squash. It had been sautéed and buttered. Her stomach growled at the smell of it.
Defeated, she dipped some onto her plate.
“He likes being stupid,” said Linton. “He dropped out of high school and everything. Doesn’t do anything but work on cars and play poker.”
“Nothing wrong with poker,” said Heath. He passed her some wild rice.
She dipped that onto her plate as well.
“Gage does as he likes,” said Heath. “He’ll always have a place here. I’d never turn him out. I’m not his stepfather.” He turned to Thera. “Would you like some wine?”
Thera felt like she might be going crazy. This twisted domestic scene was disturbing. She didn’t like these people at all. “What I’d like is to leave.”
“Gage, take your hat off at the table,” said Heath.
Gage removed his baseball cap. There was a line of dirt around his head, marking where it had been.
Thera turned to her food. “If you kill me, people will find out. My father will have the police hunt you down—”
“Don’t be dramatic, Catherine,” said Heath. “I’m not going to kill you.”
“Father isn’t going to kill you, Thera,” said Linton. “We’re just going to keep you here. And toy with you a little bit.” He leered at her.
“Linton, shut your mouth.” Heath shot a withering glance at him and then turned back to Thera. “Ignore my son. Really, you should consider yourself a guest.”
“A guest who can’t leave?”
The sides of Heath’s mouth twisted into something resembling a smile. “You really haven’t given the place much of a chance. It may grow on you. Perhaps even Linton will grow on you.”
Linton eyed her hungrily.
Thera cringed. She didn’t think so. She really didn’t think so.
“I want to get to know you, that’s all,” said Heath. “You might not be aware, but I used to know your mother very well.”
“That’s what Linton says,” said Thera. “But I don’t believe it. You’re a horrible man, and my mother could never have loved you.”
Heath laughed. “Oh, but she did. Very much. Admittedly, she had a funny way of showing it sometimes.” He picked up his fork. “Of course, I guess I did too.”
1993
Cathy stood at the bottom of the steps in the farmhouse. Eli was at the door, looking at her. His eyes were so blue, it was painful.
The voices of Matt and Eli’s father filtered out from the den. They were talking about selling some of the farm, just as Matt had wanted. Cathy had mentioned it to Eli only yesterday. His father was apparently eager to buy up some of the land.
“I asked my dad if I could tag along,” said Eli. He looked around. “So, this is your house?”
She felt embarrassed. She’d never seen his house, but she’d seen his clothes and his car, and she knew he had money. All her family had was the farm. “You want to see my room?”
“Sure.”
She led him there. It was messy, and she found herself shoving discarded clothes in her closet to make room for him to walk across the floor. She threw the covers up over her bed. She pointed. “You can sit.”
He settled on the bed, looking around, taking in her Spin Doctors poster and the photos stuck to her mirror. There was one of Heath kissing her. She wanted to take it down, but she couldn’t without calling attention to it.
She sat down next to him.
“Hey,” he said. “I got you something.” He pulled a small black box out of his pocket and handed it to her.
“Why?” she said, feeling flustered.
“Just because,” he said. “I wanted to.”
She opened the box. Snug inside it were a pair of earrings, glittering with jewels.
“Isabella said you’d like these,” he said. “She said you were commenting on a pair of hers that were sort of like them.”
She gaped at them. “They’re beautiful.” Then she closed the box. “But I can’t take them. You can’t give me something this expensive.”
“Why not?” he said. “I want to. I want to give you all kinds of things, expensive or not. I want to give you whatever you want.”
She opened the box again. She touched one of the earrings.
“I wanted to talk to you,” he said. “We haven’t been alone since…”
Since she kissed him. She set down the box of earrings and exchanged it for her pillow, which she squeezed. “Look, maybe last time I was feeling a little crazy, and maybe—”
He caught her under her chin. “Cathy, don’t. Don’t try to minimize what happened. You always act like nothing means anything.”
She looked into his eyes. They were beautiful. He was beautiful. He was like a Ken doll.
His lips came for hers.
She closed her eyes.
She felt the brush of his mouth against hers.
And then she pulled away. “We can’t.” Heath! She had to remember Heath. She got up. “I don’t think we should be up here. My brother would get mad. He doesn’t want me to have boys in my room.”
Eli stood up too. “You make me crazy.”
“Stop it,” she said.
“I dream about you, you know that? I have these dreams where you’re ahead of me, and you’re running. You’re wearing this white dress. It’s all flowy. And you’re laughing. It’s like music, the way you’re laughing. And I’m running after you, running and running. But before I can catch you, I always wake up.”
She rubbed her neck. “Dreams are weird, right?”
“Cathy, I never wanted anyone the way I want you. You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”
“Stop it.” She threw open the door. He had to stop saying things like that to her. Things that made her want him back. Things that made her feel cherished and special and beautiful.
She started down the stairs, fleeing him.
She heard him behind her. “Cathy, wait.”
And Heath was standing at the bottom of the steps.
She stopped short.
Heath looked over her, up at Eli. “What’s going on, Cathy?”
“Does Matt know you’re in the house?” she said. “He’s going to be pissed.”
“Was he in your room?” said Heath, still staring at Eli.
Eli held his hands up in surrender. He started to ease past Cathy. “Look, I’m not trying to get in the middle of anything here. I just think that Cathy should decide what she wants to do. That’s all.”
Heath laughed, a harsh, caustic sound. “You don’t want to get in the middle of things? Are you for real?”
“Heath—” said Cathy.
“Shut up, Cathy,” said Heath. He moved closer to Eli.
Eli backed up.
Cathy took Heath’s arm, trying to pull him back.
He shook her off. He took another step towards Eli.
Eli tried to back up but ran into a step. He lost his footing and fell backwards.
Heath smirked.
> Eli scrambled to his feet, his face white.
But Heath had already turned his back on Eli, apparently deciding he wasn’t worth his time. “I didn’t come up here for this. I want to talk to Matt.”
“Talk to him?” said Cathy. “That’s a really bad idea. He’ll throw you back in the barn.”
“Is it true?” said Heath. “Is he trying to sell the farm?”
“Not all of it.”
Heath shook his head. “He has no right to do that.”
Cathy bit her lip.
“Where is he?” said Heath.
“Heath, don’t,” said Cathy. “You shouldn’t even be in the house.”
But at that moment, Matt and Mr. Linton came out of the den.
“I’ll be in touch,” said Mr. Linton. “I think we can do some business.”
“Great,” said Matt, all smiles.
“Come on, Eli,” said Mr. Linton. He nodded at Cathy and gestured for his son to follow him.
Eli looked at Heath, then at Cathy, then at his shoes. “See you tomorrow, Cathy.”
“Oh, he’s going to pick you up again, is he?” Heath shook his head.
Matt seemed to notice him for the first time. His face got red.
But he waited until the Lintons were gone before turning to Heath. “What do you think you’re doing up here? I let you back in that tenant house and now you think you can come in here anytime you want? Because you can’t. You’re nothing but trash, and I don’t want trash in my house.”
Heath didn’t seem affected by the insults. “You can’t sell the farm.”
“It’s none of your business.”
“I put more into this farm than you ever did,” said Heath. “Who do you think was keeping it afloat? Floyd?”
“Afloat? That’s a funny way to put it,” said Matt. “Because this farm is sinking in case you hadn’t noticed.”
Fran appeared at the top of the steps. “Hey, sugar, if y’all are gonna argue, can you do it in the kitchen? I just got this baby down, and I don’t want you waking him up.”
“You hear that?” said Matt. “Get out of my house.”
Heath stalked past him, down the hall and into the kitchen.
Fists clenched, Matt followed him.
Cathy ran after the two of them. This was bad. There was nothing good about this at all.
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