He stepped into the kitchen and saw Madelyn standing over the stove managing three pots and pans. She smiled when she spotted him.
“You said help myself to anything I could find in the fridge,” she said. “So I did. I figured you needed to eat. I haven’t seen you do much of that since all of the mayhem started.”
“I could use a bite to eat. I just didn’t know there was this much food in my house.”
“I found some ground beef, canned green beans and a few potatoes. This is nothing fancy, but I threw together some Salisbury steaks, mashed potatoes and a vegetable. My mom always said that last one in particular was important.”
Zach could hardly pull his eyes away. There was something about the scene that made a new emotion grow in his gut. Before, he’d been attracted to Madelyn. But seeing her in his home, looking like she belonged...that made visions of something long-term pop into his head.
He reminded himself that Madelyn was leaving soon. And that he didn’t want to date. That he had other things to concentrate on.
But it couldn’t hurt to sit down for a meal. To talk. To connect with someone else.
It had been a long time since he’d allowed himself to trust. It had been a long time since he’d wanted to trust.
But he felt that changing at the moment.
Madelyn glanced behind her before flipping a Salisbury steak on the stove. “Why don’t you have a seat? Everything is almost ready.”
“I’ll grab some drinks,” he said.
“Sounds good.” She began plating up the food. She smiled almost sheepishly as she brought the plates to the table. “It’s nothing fancy. Have I said that yet?”
“It’s better than bachelor food.” He set the glasses on the table and sat down. “Most nights, it’s microwave dinners or mac and cheese.”
She shrugged. “I understand. I don’t cook much for myself. Cooking for one isn’t much fun.”
“I can understand that.” He shifted as she sat down. “Look, do you mind if I pray for the food before we eat?”
An unknown emotion washed across her face. “Not at all.”
He lifted up a prayer of thanks and a plea for safety and guidance in all that was happening before saying amen.
Madelyn took her first bite and then wiped her mouth. “My mom was an excellent cook. She always said food was a great cure for the ails of life. She seemed to have a recipe for anything. Chicken soup for colds, cupcakes for sad days, bacon for...well, almost anything.”
He smiled. “I think I would have liked your mom.”
A cloud seemed to cover her face as she sat down. “I think you would have also.”
“I know you said they were in a car accident. Do you mind if I ask what happened?” His appetite, once hearty, was now waning. He wasn’t sure he wanted to ask the question, but another part of him sensed Madelyn needed to talk.
Her face looked pinched, and she seemed to have lost her appetite also. She merely played with her food. “A police officer pursuing a suspect ran into them when they were on their way home from dinner. They died instantly. I was supposed to be with them that night, but I wasn’t feeling well, so I stayed with a friend instead.”
“Wow. I’m so sorry.” His voice caught.
She nodded stiffly, obviously trying to keep her emotions at bay. She gave up eating and put her fork down. “My life hasn’t been the same since then.”
“No one’s would be.” His own parents were both alive and well, enjoying their retirement with cruises in Alaska and visits to Caribbean resorts.
“The officer was pursuing a robbery suspect. My parents apparently didn’t see them coming. The perpetrator got away, but my parents’ lives ended.”
What she said washed over him. “The officer hit them?”
She nodded slowly, stoically. “Somehow he walked away unscathed.”
“That’s got to be hard to stomach. I can’t even imagine. Did the officer lose his job?”
She pressed her lips together and averted her gaze, obviously struggling. “He was on desk duty for a while. Last I heard, he’d been promoted. Time not only heals all wounds, it erases all wrongdoings, I suppose.”
A sick feeling gurgled in his stomach. He wanted to reach out, to grab her hand. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. The timing wasn’t right. If he allowed himself to become vulnerable, he might lose his focus.
“Sometimes police officers have to make split-second decisions. Sometimes they don’t do this very wisely, and people get hurt.” His voice became hoarser as he said the words.
Her gaze fluttered to meet his, and questions lingered there. “You sound like you know something about that.”
Zach licked his lips, wondering how much he should say. He hadn’t spoken with anyone here about what had happened. He imagined how freeing it would feel to open up to someone. And why not the pretty travel reporter who was having dinner with him?
For a moment, he set aside his doubts about Madelyn, his idea that she was hiding something. He would talk—only talk. No touching. No gravitating toward her. No entertaining ideas of more than the relationship they had right now. He could handle that.
“Back when I was a detective in Baltimore, I was involved in an undercover drug sting that went wrong. I lost two of my guys, and one of the gang members died, as well.”
“I’m sorry. Is that why you came here? For a fresh start?”
“I resigned.” He nodded slowly, mournfully. “Of course, that was never really reported. I was in charge, so I took responsibility for the outcome. There are three families whose lives have been changed forever, and I’ll live with that every day for the rest of my life.”
“Three families?”
“My officers and the drug dealer.”
“You even mourn for the bad guys, huh?”
He shrugged, considering his words before answering. “I don’t take any of the decisions I make lightly. I can’t. Not when people’s lives and futures are on the line.”
“Do you miss the life of being a big-city detective?”
“I think everything happens for a purpose. I lost everything after that, Madelyn.” Why was he opening up to her like this? Probably because it felt good to come clean. He’d stayed quiet about this since he’d come to town. So why did he think he could trust her? “My job was gone, my reputation, my fiancée even left me. But that was nothing compared to what those families lost.”
Her gaze appeared stormy and troubled. “I guess that drug bust was pretty important?”
Two years of his life had hinged upon investigating the drug trafficking. It all culminated at that bust. Things hadn’t ended the way he wanted. “This drug was messing up people. Crime was up in the city because of it. I had to find the source before even more people got hurt.”
“Did you?”
“No. Some of the key players got away before we could. Any information my informants had collected was also lost. All of the months they spent embedding themselves with the gang was for nothing.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Her words had a lot of depth and were tinged with an unknown emotion. Was there something she wasn’t saying? Because her apology kept echoing in his head in a way that made him wonder.
SIXTEEN
Madelyn’s heart leaped into her throat as she stared across the table at Zach. She couldn’t go through with this article. She couldn’t.
She’d been wrong. Paula had been wrong.
Zach was nothing like the cold-blooded killer who’d taken the lives of her parents.
What was Madelyn going to do? How could she make this right?
They finished their dinner, and she collected the plates. This had begun to feel a little too intimate, too personal. It was easier when Zach was just a name, just a news story.
But that was no longer the case. He’d become a person—a person that Madelyn was beginning to care about.
She filled the sink with soapy water to do dishes, desperate to do something to keep her thoughts occupied.
“I can get that.”
His deep voice made her shiver. “I don’t mind.”
“Then let me help you.” He rolled up his sleeves and grabbed a dish towel.
Heat traveled from her heart all the way up to her cheeks. She had fond memories of her mom and dad doing this exact thing. They’d been such a team in every way. She longed for those simple days again, days when she felt secure and loved and like part of a unit.
Why was there a seed of hope in her that maybe she could have that with Zach?
She had to get focused here. She pointed at the Scripture hung near the window by the sink. “‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart.’ You believe that’s the way to live?”
“Sometimes trust in the Lord is all you’re left with.” He grabbed the plate she’d just washed and began to towel dry it.
“Sometimes trusting in God only lets you down.” Her words sounded raw and honest, but she refused to take them back.
“I’m sorry you feel that way. I know you’ve been through a lot, and it may seem like God abandoned you.”
“I guess I’ve been leaning a lot on my own understanding. It seems impossible not to.”
“That’s where faith comes in.” He dried another plate.
“I wish it were that easy for me.” She washed the last dish and handed it to him, ready to be finished with this conversation—wishing she’d never started it for that matter. She already felt exposed, as if she’d shown parts of her heart to Zach that she’d kept closed for years. She sensed Zach was feeling the same way.
Her facade wasn’t going to hold up for much longer. If she wasn’t careful, she’d end up pouring out everything to the very man she was supposed to be investigating. She couldn’t let that happen.
“I should probably go. It’s getting late.” She placed the dish towel back on the sink.
Zach nodded. “I’ll drive you.”
His hand went to her lower back as he led her outside to his car. His touch seemed to burn through her clothing and into her skin.
She was in trouble. A lot of trouble.
When he’d tucked her securely in the passenger seat, he ran around into the driver’s side. They were silent as they cruised down the road toward the bed-and-breakfast. There didn’t seem to be any words to follow up their previous conversation. They didn’t have enough time to delve into any deep topics.
Finally, they pulled up to the bed-and-breakfast. Madelyn was ready to simply say thanks and hop out of the car. Before she could, Zach was already out and opening her door. He walked her to the porch.
She hated to admit it, but, despite everything that had happened, the night seemed perfect. The wind was sweet and gentle. The crickets chanted. An owl hooted from somewhere not far away.
They faced each other on the porch, but as Madelyn tried to say something, her voice caught in her throat. Zach stood in front of her, his eyes warm and kind. It seemed natural for her to lay her hand on his chest.
Just a friendly gesture to say good-night.
But she knew that wasn’t true.
Zach stepped closer. His eyes were smoky, cloaked with emotion.
“Madelyn,” he started.
Her throat tightened with anticipation. “Yes?”
Before he could finish his statement or lean any closer, a loud bang sounded in the background. Zach pushed Madelyn behind him as he turned toward the sound.
A car backfiring. That was all. Madelyn nearly wanted to laugh. Everything that had happened lately had conditioned her to think the worst.
As Zach turned back to her, she realized how close they were standing. Close enough to kiss. Close enough that she craved his touch.
She’d fallen for Zach, she realized. Despite everything, she was beginning to fall in love with the man.
“Madelyn—” he started, leaning closer.
Just as he reached for her, the porch light came on and Eva appeared at the door.
Zach and Madelyn quickly stepped back from each other, the moment broken.
“I heard something and wanted to check that everything was okay,” Eva rushed.
“It was just a car backfiring,” Zach explained.
The older woman put a hand over her heart before letting out a nervous laugh. “I’m so glad. After those gunshots the other day, I’ve been on guard. So has most of the town. I hope you’ll be able to track down the person responsible.”
“I’m doing my best, Eva.”
Madelyn glanced at Zach, knowing the moment couldn’t be regained. Not tonight, at least. And maybe that was for the best. Even though her heart seemed to long for something more.
Zach inched closer toward the steps leading off the porch. “I’ll talk to you later,” he told Madelyn.
She pulled her arms across her chest and offered a small smile. “Sounds good.”
With that, he walked back to his cruiser.
Madelyn’s heart was still racing from her almost kiss with Zach. Was she crazy? Thank goodness Eva had stopped them in time. She already had enough trouble without adding guy problems to the list.
After chitchatting with Eva for a few minutes, Madelyn escaped back to her room. She had to call Paula and put an end to all of this.
“Tell me about the picture,” was the first thing Paula said. No Hello. No How are you. Only Tell me about the picture.
Guilt pounded at Madelyn. “I don’t know what was going on, Paula. I just saw the exchange happening and thought it looked a little suspicious. That’s when I snapped the picture.”
“You know who that man is, right?”
“Milton Rogers. I’m staying at his house. It’s a bed-and-breakfast.”
“Madelyn, I think Zach is in cahoots with the very people who brought the drugs up here to Maryland.”
Madelyn dropped into a chair and leaned back, emotionally and physically exhausted from everything that had happened since she’d been in town. “You’ve mentioned that before.”
“I heard rumor that the heroin that was the focus of Zach’s investigation came from somewhere down there near the mouth of the Chesapeake Bay. I bet that’s why Zach is in Waterman’s Reach. I think he was working with these drug dealers. I think he shot Mario Williams in order to keep him quiet about his role in all of this.”
Madelyn remembered that letter she’d found. Should she share what she’d read? Pressure built between her shoulders. She couldn’t bring herself to do it. Not yet, at least.
“That doesn’t make sense, Paula.” She just didn’t think that Zach had it in him to be that deceptive.
“You’re being blinded by your compassion again. Think about it, Madelyn. Milton is from down in that area. I know he lives in a large house and drives a nice car. How do you think he got that money?”
“You think he got it through drugs?”
“Not only that, but I think he paid Zach off. That’s why Zach is down there now, because he’s turning a blind eye to the drugs as they come and go in the bay.”
Madelyn nibbled on her lip, conflicting emotions clashing inside. Where did her loyalties lie? Was it with Paula and her career with the magazine? Was it with Zach, someone she just met a few days ago, but who had saved her life on more than one occasion? No, she decided her loyalty was with the truth. She just had to uncover what that was.
“I’ve gotten to know Zach,” she finally said, reserving her judgment. “I can’t see him doing that.”
“You’re being persuaded by his good looks. You can’t trust him, Madelyn. I thought you were the right person for this job. Was I wrong?”
“How do you know all of this about Milton?” Madelyn had included the man’s name when she sent the picture earlier.
“I did my research—like any good reporter would.”
Feelings of inadequacy flooded her. Had Madelyn fallen behind on the job? Was she letting her own emotions cloud her judgment?
“Madelyn, when all of this is over, Zach is going to be in prison. Whatever you think you may be feeling for him now isn’t worth the heartache that’s to come. You’re going to go back to being alone. You’ll have lost your chance to make something for yourself as a reporter, and you’re going to throw that away for a good-looking guy? There are a lot of men out there who will make your heart race. Don’t give everything up for this guy.”
Her words felt like a slap in the face. “I never said I was going to give everything up. I didn’t even say that I had feelings for Zach.”
“You didn’t have to.”
Madelyn bit down the frustration rising inside her. “But Paula, have you considered that you might be wrong?”
Silence strained between them. “I know this case better than anyone. I’m not wrong.”
“If you know this case so well, why did you send me down here to do the article?” The question had been circling in her mind for a while now, but she hadn’t wanted to ask it. She wanted to believe that Paula had sent her here because she felt Madelyn was the best woman for the job. On the other hand, Paula was a control freak. This seemed like a job she would have wanted to do herself.
“Because I’m the editor in chief. I don’t have the time to do the legwork. I want to see you succeed. Don’t you want that? Isn’t that what’s important in life? You can have financial security, a nice nest egg, a reliable car and desirable house to live in. We might as well enjoy our time on this earth while we’ve got it.”
“I see.” That thought harshly contradicted Madelyn’s thoughts of eternal life. At one time she’d believed that there was much more to live for than what this world had to offer. She missed that perspective that she used to have. Was it too late to get it back?
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