A Most Unlikely Hero, Vol. 1

by Brandon Varnell

  “That would be a violation of her rights as a human!”

  “I don’t know what that means, but if you want to take her temperature, this is the only way to do it.”

  Alex stared uncomprehendingly at the girl. She couldn’t be serious, right? She didn’t seriously think that he would—or even could—pull down a girl’s panties and shove a long cylinder up her butt, did she?

  “What’s going on here?” a voice asked from the doorway.

  A man was standing in front of the entrance. Stringy gray hair hung down his head like squiggly wires. Despite the grayness of his hair, there was a youthfulness about his face. Alex couldn’t tell how old he was. He wore a white lab coat over black pants and a dark pink shirt.

  “Are you the school nurse?” Alex asked. This man hadn’t been the nurse when Alex was going here, but a lot could change in two years.

  “That’s right. The name’s Gideon Fletcher. Nice to meet ya.”

  The man grinned at them, though Alex immediately noticed that his eyes were on Gabrielle. He did not appreciate the way that the man’s lecherous gaze roamed over Gabrielle’s body. The girl in question seemed oblivious to the attention.

  “Nice to meet you!” Gabrielle responded cheerfully.

  Gideon chuckled. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around before. Are you two new students?”

  “No,” Alex said. “We’re just here because Jasmine collapsed while I was walking my sister to school.”

  “Jasmine?” Gideon looked at the bed. “Ah, the pretty rich blonde girl.” Alex twitched at the word “pretty.” He didn’t like how this man had purred that word out. “You said that she collapsed?”

  “Yeah… I think she has a fever.”

  “Hm, in that case, just leave her with me. I’ll take care of the princess.”

  Alex was not comfortable leaving his friend with this man. The way he’d looked at Gabrielle as if she was a piece of genetically modified to perfection beef made Alex want to punch him. Still, this man was the school nurse. That meant he was qualified to look after students. There was also a camera in the room, which meant that Jasmine should be safe if he left.

  “All right. We’ll head out now. We’re not students anyway, so we should be leaving.”

  “Bye!” Gabrielle waved as she and Alex headed out the door.

  “See ya later.” Gideon waved them off.

  2

  Alex and Gabrielle walked back home.

  The day was mild, but that wasn’t surprising. The weather inside of the dome was controlled by several forecasting towers, which were arrayed around the outer district and inside of Mars City itself. Through the use of sensor nodes built into the dome, the forecasting towers determined the temperature, and then adjusted it accordingly. Right now it was spring, April 23rd, so the temperature was mild.

  “Do you think Jasmine is going to be okay?” Gabrielle asked.

  “I think she’ll be fine,” Alex reassured her.

  Provided the school nurse doesn’t try anything.

  Alex frowned. There was something off about that nurse—something that he didn’t like. Alex couldn’t put his finger on it… well, he believed that part of the reason was because of the man’s clearly lecherous intent. The way he’d ogled Gabrielle had set Alex’s teeth on edge. However, that was only one part of the problem. Even though they had just met, Alex couldn’t help but feel like Gideon Fletcher was hiding something.

  I just wish I knew what he was hiding.

  “We should buy her a strawberry cheese-thingy from that Metro place,” Gabrielle said.

  “You mean Metronome’s, and it’s a strawberry cheesecake parfait,” Alex corrected. “Jasmine does like those. Maybe we can buy her one later. I don’t want to get something for Jasmine and not Alice, so we’ll have to wait before giving one to her.”

  “That’s a good idea.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome. So, I was thinking about making some modifications to Mr. Recycle Doggy…”

  He and Gabrielle spoke of the adjustments for Mr. Recycle Doggy. Gabrielle wanted to give it even more autonomous functions. Alex didn’t think that was such a good idea considering what it had done last night, but he believed that part of the reason for the glitch in its system was due to bugs that could be hammered out during the modifications.

  Alex was so caught up in their conversation that he almost missed his danger senses screaming at him. Loud whistling from above made his ears twitch. He turned to scoop Gabrielle into his arms, but she’d already grabbed his hand and was leaping backwards.

  They jumped several meters backwards—a decidedly good move. Seconds later, the ground in front of them cratered, kicking up dust and pavement fragments everywhere.

  Alex reached behind him and pulled out his whip, which he’d brought with him in case a situation like this occurred. Thumbing the switch, crackling electricity erupted from the whip, which flared to life like a vibrant laser blade. Using it, he destroyed the fragments with ease.

  Unlike him, Gabrielle defended herself by shooting out lasers from her wings’ tips. Alex almost got hit in the face by debris, he was so surprised.

  I didn’t know her wings could do that. I’m gonna have to ask her if she can help me build similar wings.

  “Hmph! I should have known you’d dodge that,” a voice said from inside the dust cloud.

  Two figures stepped out of the crater, the dust parting for them. They were wearing black cloaks, and their heads were covered by hoods. Alex hadn’t gotten a good look at them last time, since he hadn’t stuck around when their clothes had been eaten, which meant that he didn’t know what they looked like. He imagined they were quite ugly, though.

  Gabrielle’s cheeks swelled like balloons. “You two again! I thought we had ditched you.”

  “Sorry, Princess,” one of them said, “but you’re not getting rid of us that easily.”

  Alex stepped in front of Gabrielle and glared at the two men, who didn’t seem the least bit phased. Considering they were nearly three heads larger than him, they probably thought he’d be easy to defeat.

  “I don’t know who you people are, or why you’re after Gabrielle, but I’m not going to let you lay a finger on her.”

  The cloaked figures looked at each other.

  “Kid,” the one on the left started, “it’s clear to me that you don’t understand what’s going on. Let me give you some advice: Leave. Now. I don’t know how you got caught up in all this, but it’s not worth risking your life—urk!”

  The man’s words were cut off when Alex, quicker than a robot firing a pistol, wrapped his whip around the man’s neck. Because his whip was made from electron particles, the man received the shock of his life. He lit up like a Mars Day fireworks display.

  “Abel!”

  The other man grabbed the whip, but all that meant was that he got electrocuted as well.

  Alex would’ve liked to keep up the heat a little while longer. However, he knew that he couldn’t afford to do that. His whip only lasted for five minutes’ total before it needed to recharge for another ten. That was the weakness in an electro whip that was made purely from particles.

  Deactivating the whip, Alex placed it back in his pocket, and then pulled out several explosives and tossed them. Unlike most of his newer inventions, which relied on molecular technology, these were fission-based. They were like those old nuclear missiles that had been used in the 1900s back on Earth—except these had been made to incapacitate and not kill. They generally detonated in a fashion comparable to concussion grenades.

  Alex didn’t stick around to see the fallout. He grabbed Gabrielle’s hand and ran down the road.

  Blood pounded in his ears as the explosions went off. The concussive shockwave that followed would have knocked him down had he not prepared for it. Wind slammed into them like energy generated from a high-powered turbine. Gabrielle screamed in surprise, but her sense of balance seemed to be even better than his. She barely st
umbled as they ran.

  They didn’t get far. Two figures appeared before them. Their cloaks had been burnt away, revealing bright silver armor and a black unitard. Pinions jutted from their back, bright white wings with an array of beautiful feathers. Helmets, golden and luminescent, sat proudly on their heads, framing faces that were too handsome, too perfect, to be human.

  Alex was in shock. Those outfits, that armor, they were…

  Seraphim…

  That was his first thought, but upon a deeper glance, Alex noticed the differences between the suit that Gabrielle had shown him, and the ones that these two were wearing.

  Seraphim suits were bulkier. Their armor was thicker. The shoulder pauldrons and chest plate were less streamlined. These suits were sleek and thin, lacking the bulky armor of a Seraphim crisis suit. They looked like they were designed for high-speed movement, while Seraphims reminded him of tanks.

  Their armor didn’t have a scratch.

  These two… they’re Angelisians…

  “Gabrielle,” Alex whispered. “Get ready to run.”

  “R-right,” Gabrielle said. She seemed as shocked as him.

  Alex took several deep breaths, preparing himself mentally. He’d only get one shot at this. Once he did, they would need to—

  “Did you think we would let you run away again?” one of them asked.

  The two Angelisians were suddenly standing directly in front of them. They were so close that Alex could reach out and touch them.

  What—?!

  Alex only had enough time to gawk before, without warning, every cell in his body screamed at him. He felt his feet leave the ground, heard the air whistling around him. His mouth opened in a scream, but no sound came out. The world around him was a blur. Then, suddenly and violently, Alex’s world went black as he slammed into something hard and unyielding.

  3

  Jasmine woke up to a white ceiling over her head.

  She didn’t know where she was, nor could she remember how she’d gotten there. A strong scent hit her nose—alcohol.

  W-what? Where am I?

  “Looks like you’re finally awake, Princess,” a rough voice said from beyond her field of vision.

  Sitting up in bed, Jasmine looked around—until her eyes landed on Dr. Gideon Fletcher, a man whom she disliked out of principle.

  “What have you done to me, pervert?” Jasmine asked, gathering the blanket and covering herself. She was fully dressed, but even so, she felt naked before this man’s eyes. It was an unpleasant feeling for one of her stature.

  “That’s a mean thing to say. I haven’t done anything.” When Jasmine just glowered at him, he sighed and scratched the back of his head. “I’m being honest here. The person who brought you to the nurse’s office was some kid with black hair.”

  Black hair?

  Jasmine blushed. “D-did he have a silver streak running through his bangs?”

  Dr. Gideon looked thoughtful. “Come to think of it, I believe he did.”

  Jasmine’s blush deepened, but she quickly regained her bluster. “W-well, of course he did! After all, I am one of the most important people in Alexander’s life. Oh ho ho ho ho!”

  Standing up on the bed, a hand raised to her mouth, Jasmine’s laughter echoed down the hall.

  Dr. Gideon shook his head.

  “… Right…”

  4

  “Alex!” Gabrielle screamed as Abel slammed into Alex, sending her new friend flying backwards.

  Alex’s flight took him nearly fifteen meters before he crashed into a wall. The wall, unable to withstand the power and speed of Alex’s impromptu flight, crumbled around him, burying her friend in a pile of rubble.

  Gabrielle turned, about to run over to her friend to see if he was okay, but before she could, a hand grabbed onto her arm—Kane’s hand.

  “Let go of me!” She struggled against him.

  “You know I can’t do that,” Kane said, his fingers clenched around her like an adamantine vice. “Look, just stop struggling and come back with us.”

  “No! I won’t go back! Now let go of me! Let! Go!”

  Gabrielle knew that she was in a pickle. Her friend was down, and while she was pretty strong herself, most of her strength was tied to her powers, which she couldn’t use on these two. Rather, Gabrielle refused to use it on these two. She didn’t want to kill them.

  Abel clicked his tongue while Kane pulled her into a bear hug. “You really are a troublesome girl, but it’s all over now. Your friend is down, and I’m not going to let you bring out one of your inventions. You’re—GURK!”

  “Kane!”

  Kane was forced to let go of Gabrielle as something powerful smashed into the underside of his jaw. Gabrielle stumbled forward as Kane’s feet left the ground. Spinning around, she came face to face with Alex, bleeding from a head wound, slouched over, but still very much alive.

  “A-Alex!”

  “Are you all right?” Alex asked. Gabrielle nodded. “Good. Just leave this to me.”

  “W-wait!” Gabrielle grabbed Alex’s hand. “D-don’t be reckless. You’re injured.”

  Turning his head, Alex grinned at her. “Don’t worry about me. These injuries are nothing.”

  Several meters away, Kane clambered to his feet, rubbing his sore jaw, which had a large bruise where Alex had kicked him. Abel stood next to him. His fierce blue eyes were locked onto Alex.

  “I’m surprised you’re still alive, boy,” Abel said. “A hit like that should have crushed your internal organs.”

  “They do feel kind of squishy,” Alex admitted. “But it will take a lot more than that to kill me.”

  A standoff occurred between Alex, Abel, and Kane. The two Angelisians glared at Alex like they were trying to melt him with their eyes. While they were busy staring down Alex, Gabrielle discreetly opened the menu to access her D-space.

  “While I’m surprised a brat like you managed to survive a punch like that, it doesn’t matter. You’re still human, the weakest of all sixteen hundred races. You have no powers, no abilities. Against us, the strongest race in the universe, what can you do?”

  Alex gritted his teeth. “Don’t underestimate me just because I’m human! I might be reckless, but I’m not some weak fool who’d let himself get defeated by a couple of kidnappers.”

  “K-kidnappers?!” Kane stumbled backwards as if someone had slapped him.

  Alex pointed at them. “I don’t know what nefarious plans you have for Gabrielle, but I’ll die before I let you harm a single hair on her head!”

  Abel and Kane looked at each other. Even Gabrielle was confused by Alex’s words, though she was also touched. Yet even while the conversation continued, she was preparing to retaliate. If these two thought they could take her back, then they had another thing coming!

  “You… you really don’t know what’s going on here, do you?” Kane asked.

  “He’s clearly in the dark,” Abel added.

  Alex’s cheeks grew red. “S-shut up! I don’t need to know what’s going on to know that you two are clearly trying to take Gabrielle somewhere against her will! That’s all I need to know.”

  “Lady Gabrielle,” Abel started, “Why don’t we put an end to this farce? Stop running away and just come home.”

  “I won’t!” Gabrielle declared. “I don’t want to go home!”

  “That’s right!” Alex shouted. “She doesn’t want to—wait. Home?”

  Alex looked at her, but Gabrielle was already pulling out her weapon of choice. “Go, Mr. Elephant Vacuum!”

  What appeared before them was massive. It stood on four trunk-like legs, each of which was about as big around as Kane and Abel combined. Two large, floppy ears flapped up and down on its head, and a long snout protruded from its face. This creature, a mechanical monster composed of gleaming metal, towered over everyone—even the two Angelisians. It was a giant elephant with brightly glowing eyes.

  “Go, Mr. Elephant Vacuum! Suck them up!” Gabrielle ordered.


  The elephant raised its snout in response. Kane and Abel’s eyes bulged in horror, as if they were facing a creature born from terror rather than a surprisingly cute—if massive—mechanical elephant.

  “Oh, no! It’s one of Lady Gabrielle’s inventions!” Kane shouted.

  “Run for it!” Abel screamed.

  Before they could even turn around, the air in front of them was suddenly sucked toward the elephant. Chunks from the pavement were torn off the ground. Leaves and twigs were ripped off trees. Everything in front of the elephant was sucked into the trunk, which had suddenly expanded to become nearly 20 times larger than before.

  Kane and Abel tried to escape from the force pulling them in. They crouched low, digging their hands and feet into the ground. Gabrielle could only shake her head. Did they really think that would work with her invention?

  Barely seconds after they’d dug themselves into the ground, the very ground that they were holding onto was ripped out from underneath them. Both the ground and the Angelisians were then sucked into the massive trunk, which swallowed them whole.

  Despite Kane and Abel already being consumed, the elephant continued to suck up more and more of the land in front of it. The pavement was ripped away. Chunks of dirt and bedrock followed. A massive trench nearly three meters wide appeared in front of the elephant.

  “Gabrielle! Shut that thing off!” Alex shouted, but Gabrielle barely heard him over the roar of Mr. Elephant Vacuum’s quantum engine.

  “Hm…”

  Gabrielle cupped her chin and furrowed her brow.

  “What are you waiting for?! Turn that thing off!”

  “Hmm… how do I turn this thing off? I can’t remember.”

  “WHAT?!”

  By this point in time, the elephant had turned and was now sucking up even more of the surrounding area. Alex, who’d been unfortunate enough to be in its line of fire, was now hanging onto a metal pole for dear life—too bad for him, the metal pole was creaking and groaning ominously. It shuddered and shook, as if it would be ripped from the ground at any second.

  Which it was.

  Seconds later.

  Alex screamed as he was sucked straight into the elephant’s trunk.