Michael forced a breath from his lips and bounced his gaze back to the ceiling. “So here I am now. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy the business, the structure, and strategy of it all. But I miss the freedom and passion I had in music. When my father got well, he came back a different person. He never returned to the company.”
“Have you ever thought about playing again?” Heather asked, surprised to learn about his musical talent. Images of Michael passionately playing a saxophone flashed across her mind.
“Play now?” Michael shook his head with doubt. “I couldn’t imagine what that would be like. It would be nice to try, though ...” He smiled at her. “I would be all over the place doing gigs and playing in a band. Can you picture me doing that?” He chuckled.
“That would be an interested sight.” Heather gave him a playful grin. “Yes, I think it’s important to make time to do what you love, Michael.”
“What about you Heather? Do you have a dream you want to fulfill?”
To be married to you.
But Heather silenced the voice in her head. “I want to travel.”
“Travel? Where would you like to go?”
“I have a book ... I know this may sound silly, but it’s filled with information about the many places I wanted to visit. Mainly, I want to go to France.” She told him about the nursing program abroad and how she had applied but never heard back.
“Don’t give up Heather; you’re great at your job. Maybe one day we can go together. You the nurse and me a musician.” He smiled at her.
“That would be wonderful, Michael.” She mirrored his lips, knowing it would never happen, but enjoying the fantasy. Heather turned over on her back and glanced at the ceiling.
Their conversation was interrupted by a nurse who came to check his vitals. Heather excused herself to the bathroom to change into something more comfortable while Michael was being attended to.
When Heather came back into the room, she found him poring over a document in his hand. It had streaks of red highlighting what were probably important facts, and she knew his mind was consumed with work. Her attention focused on the envelope lying next to her, and she began studying the paperwork for the church. Everything seemed so surreal. She couldn’t believe the property had become her possession. As she finished reading the first few pages, she made mental notes of what she wanted to do and what she wanted to change. She felt a spark of excitement as she pictured Pastor Avery’s reaction to the good news. There was no doubt in her mind he would be relieved to know he didn’t have to relocate the church.
Michael’s eyes drifted from the paper in his hand to Heather’s face. There was so much he wanted to say and share with her, including his feelings for the nurse. But he didn’t know where to begin. The last thing he wanted to do was appear like a babbling fool in front of the one person he adored the most. He couldn’t ignore how perfect Heather’s face looked as she reviewed the documents for the church. He watched as her lips turned down into a frown as she jotted something down. He could tell she had many questions ... and that was good thing, at least for him. It would give him the opportunity to show her how passionate he was about helping her make the church a success.
“Heather, I hope I didn’t keep you from anything tonight ...” She glanced up and met his eyes.
“Not at all. Andrew and I were going to play a game with Evelyn, but Linda decided to take my place ... and I was happy to come.” She smiled.
“You and Andrew were going to play a game?” Michael said with tension in his voice.
Heather felt her stomach tighten as she watched his jaw muscles flex like a body builder.
“Did I say something wrong, Michael?” She propped herself on one elbow.
“No.” He continued circling and marking out things in red.
“Then why did you say it like that? I know you, Michael, and I know when you’re angry. What I don’t know is why.” She reached over and placed a hand firmly on top of his with the marker. Michael slowly turned his attention to her face.
Heather kept her gaze locked on his face. She had enough of his unpredictable mood swings and wanted him to air out whatever qualms he had about her interactions with Andrew. The issue needed to be settled once and for all.
After a short pause, he sighed. “Fine. What’s happening between you and Andrew? It seems like you two always spend a lot of time together.” His voice sounded like a detective interrogating a suspect.
“Me and Andrew? We only went to the café for lunch the other day, and then I showed him your gardens.”
“You walked the gardens with my brother?” The words tumbled loudly out of his mouth as he twisted his body away from her and struggled to gain his feet. He shuffled over to his walker and wrapped his hand tightly around the handle as his legs wobbled like a toddler taking its first steps. He looked up at her sharply as Heather rushed to his side.
“What is wrong with you, Michael? What’s so wrong with being in the garden with him?” Heather tried to help Michael steady himself, but his legs couldn’t support his body. She heard him mumble under his breath before collapsing back down on the bed.
“I can’t even run away from this argument ... look at what a mess I am.” His stomach churned inside. He didn’t have the energy to fight for her heart, not like this, not now, not in the hospital.
“Michael, you’ve been through something horrible, and you need lots of rest to heal. I just don’t understand why you’re so angry with me.” He looked over at her just as a tear escaped her eye.
“Oh, Heather, I’m so sorry. I’m not mad at you.” He ran his hand through his hair. “If anything, I’m the furthest thing from angry with you.” He hung his head down for a moment before reaching a hand toward her. “Heather come here.”
Heather wiped a hand across her eyes and shuffled toward him, stopping about a foot in front of him. He looked up at her with glassy eyes.
“I need to tell you something. I don’t want it to scare you, but I need to get it off my chest. Please promise you won’t judge me until you hear me out completely.”
Heather nodded silently. Her breathing began to quicken. Loving Michael secretly was something she was willing to admit to herself. But if he felt something back, if he loved her as much as she loved him, it would make things so complicated ... too complicated.
“Thinking about you and Andrew drives me crazy. Hell, thinking of you with anyone else makes me crazy.” His hands rubbed nervously together. “Does that make sense?” He firmly clasped her hands between his. “I spend most of my days thinking about how you got hurt, about how this all happened, and about Evelyn. I also think about the future, about catching the person responsible for attacking you. But to be honest, most of the time I can’t turn off my thoughts about you. About your face and the sweetness that permeates everything you do, even when I am being ... well, being me.”
Michael cleared his throat. “I feel a lot of things for you Heather ... do you understand what I mean?” He stared into her eyes and watched the play of emotions across her face. He could see the shadow of anxiety grow in her eyes, and he knew their conversation was taking a turn for the worse. “I don’t want you to be afraid, Heather. I won’t ever say or do anything that you don’t want. Trust me. It’s just that I can’t think about you and Andrew ...”
“Michael ... I don’t think of Andrew like that or anyone like that.” She bit her lower lip and looked away. “I can’t think about this right now.” Heather could feel herself getting colder, and her fingers felt tingly. She showed no visible emotion. “You’re getting married this year, Michael. Have you forgotten about that? What you need to do is focus on Cynthia Wilson.” Heather pulled away from him and set about helping him lay back on the pillows, as if the matter was settled.
Michael forced a sigh from his chest. “I don’t feel right about marrying her. She’s gone all this time. How can she be my partner for better or for worse when she can’t even show up when something bad happens ...?” He
trailed off.
“You’ve been in a near death experience Michael. You’re emotional, and that’s normal. God put me in your life to help remind you of why we’re all here. I was at the right place at the right time. Thanks to Him, you were brought here just in time, and you’re going to be okay.”
Heather could feel her heart suffocate under the weight of her emotions, and the last thing she wanted to do was break down in front of Michael. With a straight face, she walked toward the door. “I need some fresh air; I’ll be right back.”
Michael’s shoulders sagged lower. Even though he had more to say, it was obvious Heather was finished with their conversation. While he wasn’t happy with the outcome of their discussion, he respected her need for space.
Heather gasped for air like an asthmatic patient as she made her way outside the room and headed for the outside gardens. She placed a hand on her chest before parting her lips and sucking in the cool air. Everything was beginning to be too much. She had accepted her feelings of love toward him a long time ago but knew it could never go anywhere. But now that he had reciprocated with his own feelings, she felt lost and confused. In her mind, she could accept living a life without him, even if it broke her heart. That alternative would be better than only sharing a small part of his life. Heather tried to fight the anxiety rising inside. She stood for a minute, deep in thought as she focused her attention on what God had blessed her with.
She had come from nowhere and become a nurse to help patients. To help those who needed strength and encouragement. Evelyn was not just a patient anymore. She treated the girl like her own daughter. All Heather wanted was for the Robbins family to be happy and whole, and for Andrew and Michael to make amends. But it seemed her emotional attachment to the family was interfering with her ability to remain objective about her job.
She was there for only one purpose, and that was to make Evelyn get better. Everything else, including her heart, was secondary to the girl’s health, and if she didn’t control her emotions, she would only end up getting hurt. She could see it coming, and she needed to protect her heart. Heather squeezed her eyes shut and prayed for God to take away her feelings for Michael and the rest of the Robbins family. She pleaded with God to grant her wish of being accepted into the nursing program abroad.
When she had finished her prayer, Heather stared at the patients entering and leaving the hospital. It seemed she had no other choice but to leave and let Michael find his way back to his fiancée. As far as the church was concerned, she would have Pastor Avery take over and care for it. She could see no other way.
Her shoes felt like iron as she walked back to the room. As she entered, she found Michael fast asleep. Her eyes rested on his peaceful face.
You’ll always be special in my heart, Michael.
Heather knew that whatever happened in the future, the man would always have a special place in her heart. She leaned over and smoothed back the lock of hair on his brow. There was no doubt in her mind that her heart would shatter into a million pieces when she was gone. But she knew God would heal her heart somehow and that she would survive the pain. Self-survival was one trait she had mastered during her lonely years growing up in her aunt’s home.
Heather snuggled into the chair next to the bed, closed her eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep, thinking not of France and Paris, but of a dark handsome man and a little girl with long blonde hair.
Chapter 3
The next morning, their sleep was interrupted by the commotion of nurses switching out sheets and changing IV fluids. When they were gone, Heather turned her attention to Michael. Her eyes couldn’t help admiring the contours of his bare chest, and she could tell by the frown on his face that he was uncomfortable with the new IV in his arm.
Michael turned his gaze to her and gave her a grin.
She returned his smile. “I’m going to shower; do you need anything, Michael?” Heather turned away to grab a change of clothes.
“No thanks, Heather; I’m good.” He watched her disappear into the bathroom and waited until the door closed behind her before running his hands over his face. Nothing had gone as planned last night. He had wanted to pour out his heart to her. All about her, God, and life. But every word that escaped his mouth became a jumbled mess, and now he didn’t know what to do or think.
His head turned as the pitter patter sounds of the shower drifted from under the door. His heart yearned to enjoy the daily activities of life with Heather. Connection emotionally with her during their special moments together meant more to him than any lucrative business deal he could negotiate. Heather had so many good qualities. And the fact that she even encouraged him to seek out his passion of music was more than he could ask for in a partner.
Heather was without a doubt one amazing woman to him. But it seemed the nurse had erected an impenetrable wall around her heart, one that no other man could lay victory to, not even him.
Was there more to God’s purpose besides sending her to nurse Evelyn back to health? What were his chances of reaching the recesses of her heart? What would it take? Michael bowed his head and began whispering a quick prayer. Even though he felt like the prodigal son, the words flowed from his lips as if God were like a long lost friend. He pleaded for forgiveness and thanked the Almighty for sending Heather to him.
Just as he whispered an amen, the door to his room swung open as Eleanor walked in. His mother glanced around the room, taking note of the new arrangements.
“Hello, son, where’s Heather?” Her glossy ruby lips creased into the motherly smile he had grown to love as a child.
“Showering, Mother ... how are you?” He returned her hug and watched as Eleanor made her way over to Heather’s makeshift bed and began folding the blankets.
“I’m good dear. You’re looking more like yourself, except for the hair and all that.” She motioned at his face.
“Yes, I know. I need a shave for sure.” He smiled. “But you know what? I kind of like the rugged look, but I’m not one hundred percent sure yet.” He rubbed his scruffy chin as he spoke.
“How did everything go last night?” Eleanor said, trying to disguise the curiosity in her voice.
“Don’t even start, Mother, I know you like her.”
Eleanor lowered her jaw as she placed a hand on her chest.
“I don’t know what you mean, dear. Oh, you mean Heather?” Her head drifted toward the bathroom door. “Why, yes, I do. As a matter of fact, I like her very much. Now as for your fiancée ... well, that’s a subject we must discuss.”
Michael turned the palm of his hand at her. “Enough, Mother; I’m well aware of how you feel about Cynthia.”
“Michael, be a dear and just hear me out. I refuse to accept that you love that ... that woman.” Eleanor’s face twisted with contempt.
Michael opened his mouth to respond, but before a word could escape his lips, Heather emerged from the bathroom wearing the same white dress she had worn the day they had walked the garden together. His mouth remained open as he continued to stare at her.
Eleanor’s gaze bounced between the two of them. There was no mistaking the look of love in Michael’s eyes, and there was only one other woman in the past who had captivated her son’s heart. But now she was gone, and Eleanor determined in her mind to help Michael relive a full and meaningful life. She knew her son had fallen head over heels with Heather. But what she couldn’t understand was why he was so committed to Cynthia, even though he was low on her list of priorities. Eleanor pressed her lips together. She knew everything was in God’s hands and that she needed to trust that He would work things out.
“Oh, hello, Mrs. Robbins. How’s everything back home?” Heather reached for her purse.
“Fine dear, just fine. I left the car out front, and Andrew said he would escort you home.”
“No.” The sharp tone in his voice startled both women.
“No? I don’t understand, Michael.” Eleanor gave her son a puzzled look.
“No, I
don’t want Andrew taking Heather home. As a matter of fact, I’d like it if you could tell him to come in and see me. Let the driver take you home, Heather. If that’s where you’re headed.” Michael looked away, hoping they wouldn’t see the jealousy in his eyes.
“But that means I would have to leave my car here.”
“That’s okay; you can pick it up later.”
She could sense his agitation and decided not to argue with his demand. Heather wanted to reach out to comfort him, but her hands remained by her side.
“Will I see you later?”
“Yes, I’d like that. And bring Evelyn with you please. It should be safe for her inside here.” His lips pulled up into a smile.
Heather left the hospital with a tornado of emotions. Her overnight stay had given her a brief glimpse into the heart of Michael, and armed with the knowledge of how he felt, she knew what direction her life needed to take. Today would be the beginning of her new future. And that was doing what was best for her.
As she entered the parking lot and approached her car, she saw Andrew leaning against the driver door, reading something on his phone. His head turned up at her.
“Heather, you look lovely today.” He smiled warmly and hugged her gently.
“Thank you, Andrew.” She leaned away from him. “I have to run a few errands today. Your brother is requesting to see you.” She looked up and saw the confused expression on his face.
“He actually said that he wants to see me?” Andrew scrunched his brows together for a moment.
“He did. I’m going to ride back in the limo and leave my car here. Later, I’m bringing Evelyn back with me.”
“Did you need any help with your errands?”
“Thanks, Andrew. That’s sweet of you to offer. But I’ll be fine. I think it’s more important for you to speak with Michael.”
Andrew flexed his cheeks tightly. “What does he want to speak with me about? Did he seem in a good mood?”
Beyond a Broken Dream Page 2