He pulled up to find her sitting on the front steps with the dogs surrounding her and Morpheus, the cat and ruler of the house, on her lap. Fall hadn’t fully set in, but the night air was crisp and dusk lurked on the horizon. He grabbed his loot and headed for her.
“Everything okay?” He didn’t like the deep furrow between her brows.
“Long day at work.” She sniffed the air and her eyes widened. “Something smells good.”
“I figured you could use a night off from cooking.”
Risa snorted and flashed him a half-smile. “You’re right. I did slave all weekend unpacking take-out and reheating pizza for us. Glad you’re sharing the workload.”
“Remember, equal-opportunity guy here.” He handed her the flowers. “These are for you. Do you want to eat out here or inside?”
“Pretty.” She stuck her nose in the bouquet, then met his eyes with a sheepish look on her face. “I know this is going to sound dreadful, but did you do something that’s going to piss me off? Never mind. Forget I asked, and chalk it up to childhood trauma. I’ll humbly say thank you.”
She stood on the bottom step, which brought them eye-to-eye, and wrapped her arms around Jax. As she pulled back, he held her tighter and kissed her. He’d meant it to be a simple hello, but the kiss took on a life of its own, leaving them both breathless and panting with glazed eyes.
Neither moved for several long moments. Jax was all for skipping dinner, but it was more than just sex he craved. He wanted the connection, both physical and mental or spiritual or emotional, or whatever-the-hell it was.
Ever since his talk with Casey, his stomach had been tied up in knots, his shoulders had felt like granite slabs, and he’d walked around with a gray cloud over his head. Being with Risa wiped all that away. He felt… grounded.
“Now that’s the way to perk up a day.” Risa kissed him quickly, stole the bottle of wine, and walked into the house, leaving him to follow.
Her mood had improved dramatically since he’d walked up. He didn’t want to spoil it with his announcement. The least he could do was give Risa a peaceful and relaxing dinner before he sprung another bombshell on her.
He walked in to find Risa had already popped the cork on the wine and was arranging the flowers in a vase.
“What are these? Hyacinth? My dad used to bring them home to my mom. I love them. Thank you.”
Jax grabbed the plates, silverware, and wine glasses while she fluffed and rearranged one stem or another. The flowers made her smile, so that was all that really mattered right then. He poured them each a glass, handing hers over before he reached to fill his plate.
“If we sit in the back, we can watch the sun set,” Risa suggested as she filled her own plate. “We can even light up the fire pit. I’ve got stuff to make s’mores in the cabinet.”
She rambled on, talking about the goats getting loose in the office and trying to eat a client’s pant leg; then when they got home Harle had chased Eir until the dog had hidden behind Risa. She was de-stressing, sharing her day with him and making him laugh.
Jax surveyed the property as they ate and Risa told him more about her day. It was a good-sized piece of land, with room to expand the house. There was plenty of space to add the horse paddock next to the goats’ future pen and still have room for kids to play and even have a playhouse and a swing set. It had been the kind of place he had dreamed of as a kid.
The kind of home he’d want for a family of his own.
Sitting there listening to Risa, relaxed with the sun dipping low in the horizon, he could picture himself doing the exact same thing, in the exact same place with the exact same woman ten years in the future. And that scared the hell out of him.
He was in no place in his personal or professional life to get involved with a woman. What could he offer her? Nothing except a lot of uncertainty. Except, he had gotten involved. Deeply on a physical level and deeper every minute on another, more personal level.
What the hell was he going to do?
“Jax? Hello in there.”
He shook his head and focused. Risa was looking at him with a question in her eyes and a slight lilt of her lips. “I’m sorry. You were right. It’s been a long day.”
“That’s okay. Did you hear what I said about Sal Rossi?”
He apologized again. Risa waved it off and updated him on Fiona’s conversation with her ex-husband.
“Interesting,” Jax said. “It looks like his command is closing ranks. They swear he was at work all day Friday, and there’s no way he could have driven out here, tagged the place, and made it back without anyone noticing he was missing. If that’s true, we need to figure out who else it could be.”
“Did you check on that couple I told you about? The ones who hurt their dog and I turned them in?”
“Yep. For the first two incidents, he was on patrol and she was at her mother’s house on the other side of the country. Plus, he’s transferred. They left right after Labor Day.”
“That’s it, then. I have no bloody idea. As far as I know, I don’t have any other enemies. I’ve never stolen anyone’s boyfriend or slept with their husband. As an only child, we can rule out siblings who want me cut out of the will. There was one other veterinarian who was considered for my job, but they actually turned it down first. Kind of sad when you think about it. I’ve lived my life so that most people probably don’t care about me or what I do.” She took a long sip of her wine and sighed.
“That’s not true. Lots of people care about you. It just means you’re not a bitch, and that makes this a little harder to solve.”
She waved away his comment. “I wasn’t fishing for a compliment— but thank you—nor was I complaining. I do not need, want, or desire to lead a drama-filled life. If they hadn’t tagged The Beast while I was at work, I would have completely bought Officer What’s-His-Face’s theory on bored teenagers.”
“It’s the one piece that’s throwing a wrench into the works, and maybe our culprit’s fatal mistake. I’ll figure it out. Until then, I’ll be keeping an eye on Rossi… from a distance.”
“Jax.” Risa took his hand and laced their fingers together. “Please, don’t do anything that will get you in trouble on my account. I’m sure that’s all behind us now.”
“Let’s hope so.” He kissed the back of her hand, then slipped his arm around her shoulders. “Did I see Fiona at the clinic today?”
“You did, and we need to talk about Bella. Dr. Lagasse is going to be back to work soon and when he is, he’ll be checking on all the dogs at the kennel.”
“But you’ve already done that.”
“It doesn’t matter. He’ll want to see them for himself. I’ve kept Bella’s reports focused on her break and the progress she’s making there, but he’ll notice her mood. He’s very good at what he does, plus he knows her. He’s bound to see the difference in her attitude.”
He hugged her tighter, understanding her concern, and kissed the top of her head. “You’ve done everything you can to help. I don’t want you lying to your boss or doing anything you’ll get in trouble for. If you can just give me a heads-up when he does get back, I’d appreciate it.”
“Of course. Jax… if they put her up for adoption, would you apply for her?”
He wanted to. Bella was his family, and it killed him to think of her with someone else; to never know what happened to her or to have her by his side again. But he didn’t know if they’d approve him, given his current situation. He knew the team in Texas looked for military or former military members for fur-ever homes. They also looked for stable homes, so the dogs could transition smoothly. Somehow he didn’t think they’d be too keen on a person who would be in training for weeks before having a home for Bella.
“I’ve been thinking about it. I’m not sure I’m qualified.”
“Do you think they’d approve Fiona and Dylan?”
; It wouldn’t be his first choice, but Bella would be happy. “They might.”
If he couldn’t apply, he’d do everything he could to see that his best friend ended up with Risa’s friends. Then he’d know Bella would be taken care of, and she’d have Risa too.
“I’ll try to hold Lagasse off as long as I can. If you want, when I finally write my report, I can include that in my professional opinion Bella would be better off with you.”
“Thank you.” Her offer touched his heart. For someone who claimed not to like two-legged creatures, she sure worried an awful lot about them. Or maybe, it was just her family and friends, and she’d moved Jax into that special circle. He’d take it, and her. He stroked her arm and kissed her temple. “I think you said something about dessert?”
Risa ran her hand down his abdomen, kissing the side of his neck. “Is that all you ever think about, food?”
Jax released the lever on the outdoor recliner and laid them back. “No. I occasionally think about football, hunting, fishing, and you.”
Several hours later, Jax unlocked the door on his empty apartment. He groaned, wanting to kick himself in the ass. “Dammit.”
He tossed the keys on the kitchen counter and opened the fridge to stare at the meager contents. Beer or water? He grabbed the latter and slammed the door shut. Unscrewing the cap, he stepped out onto his miniscule balcony and stared at the night sky. He’d rather be back on Risa’s patio with her wrapped in his arms and catching her breath from their lovemaking.
When he had arrived at her place, he’d had every intention of telling her that his EOS date was coming up. She had a right to make an informed choice to be involved with him knowing he was scheduled to leave soon or possibly be jobless.
It was never the right time.
“Bullshit,” he swore out loud.
“Everything okay up there?” a soft, tired voice asked.
“Yeah, sorry Mrs. Karpinski. Long day. Didn’t mean to disturb you.” He loved his elderly neighbor from the apartment below.
“If you need to talk, I’ll be home early tomorrow. Feel free to bring the makings for a root beer float, if you come by. Night, Jackson.”
He told her he’d try and bid her goodnight. The lady was a hoot. Her swearing could turn a trucker or a sailor red. Her root beer floats weren’t the kind you served to minors, and she was a damn good listener. Jax hadn’t known any of his grandparents, but he would have liked to think at least one would have been like Mrs. K.
Of course, he already had an inkling of her reaction when he confessed his sin. She’d smack him upside the head, as she’d done on several occasions, tell him to pull his head out of his ass, and come clean with Risa about leaving. Mrs. K. wouldn’t accept any excuses, either. She’d remind him that he was a grown-ass man—and in those words—and that no one could make him do something he didn’t want to do. That if it mattered, he’d find a way to make whatever he was avoiding happen.
God, he was going to miss her.
He made a mental note to hit the Package store for adult root beer, and the grocery store for ice cream and flowers, on his way home tomorrow. Then he made a second note to talk to Risa the first chance he found.
* * * *
How is it only Thursday, Risa thought. Why couldn’t it already be Friday? Jax had been busy the last couple of days, and they hadn’t had a chance to get together. She didn’t even want to think about the fact that she missed him. Too soon.
Her dad had decided they needed to start on the goats’ pen early because he’d heard it was going to be a cold fall. Worked for her, as she loved sitting by the fire pit, snuggled up and watching the stars… especially if Jax was by her side. Her past few nights had been filled with animal care, then running for supplies and playing Dad’s helper.
She tested out her bruised thumb and hoped someday he’d learn she was the worst person on the planet with a hammer. Give her any other tool, and she’d rock it like a pro.
To top it off, Dr. Lagasse had returned to work yesterday without notice. He’d spent the last two days locked up in his office, which would have been fine, if he hadn’t stuck out his head every five minutes with a question for her. She’d spent her time running back and forth between the exam rooms to his office.
All she wanted now was food and ten minutes to herself.
Too much to ask for?
She really hoped not.
At the first chance of freedom, she’d dashed out for a bite, purposely leaving her phone behind. The bowling alley was too close, the burger place too crowded, and the sandwich shop… just right. It was tucked away, and most of the sailors had already gone to lunch and returned to work, pretty much giving Risa the place to herself.
She ordered the foot-long, grabbed a bag of fully loaded chips, and didn’t give a rat’s arse as to the amount of fat and carbs she consumed. Between the running at the office and the work at home, she wouldn’t have time to cook and would burn all the calories off.
Mmm, maybe Mum could be convinced to cook a pot roast and Yorkshire pudding tonight.
Her peace was interrupted as two young sailors walked past to order their meals. They looked familiar and she tried to place them, remembering Fee’s accusation that she treated people like animal accessories. She gave up and went back to her meal.
“What are you getting? Man, I’m starving,” one said.
“Tell me about it. I didn’t get any of the muffins Kelly brought in today,” his friend responded.
Risa rolled her eyes and thought of another guy who loved food.
“Sanchez, you missed out, man. That woman can bake almost as good as my Granny. I had two of her muffins, but I’m still starving.”
The sandwich maker, or master chef, or whatever, took the two guys’ orders, and Risa was able to enjoy her meal in peace again. She reached for her phone to text Jax an invitation to come over that night, and sighed when she realized she’d left it at the office. No big deal. Maybe she’d walk off her meal and stop by his office on the way back to work and issue the invite in person. Then she could see him twice.
“Hey, did you hear about Chief F?” the first sailor asked the other.
Risa balled up her chip bag and stuffed it inside the plastic sandwich bag.
“He’s got an interview with NCIS today. They’re going to snag his ass up in a heartbeat. A former SEAL, all his time in the sandbox, plus he’s got that photographic memory.”
Risa froze.
“Yeah, I heard. Kelly said the detailer was cutting his orders.”
She shouldn’t eavesdrop. She leaned back in her seat and held her breath.
“Place ain’t going to be the same without him.”
They couldn’t be talking about Jax, but how many chiefs fit that description?
“Tell me about it, Sanchez. Chief F, man, he’s there for us. Thomas is a good guy, and a decent boss, but he’s heading to Pensacola soon.” They took the booth directly behind Risa, so she was able to sit normally. “Chief F, though, he’s just one of us. My girls love him. Five and seven and they’re already fighting over who will marry the guy.”
“He’ll get the job with his qualifications, which is good because I know he didn’t want to stay in. Can’t say I blame him, either. It’s definitely a step up, with better pay and he’ll be home for Christmas because the training center is in Georgia.”
That sealed it. It had to be him; Jax was from Georgia.
The sandwich she’d eaten turned into molten lava in her stomach, bubbling and threatening to come back up. Risa gathered up what was left, threw it away, and walked to the middle of Dealy Plaza. Soon the place would be decked out in Christmas lights, decorations, and a big tree. Rumor had it that the base put on a big celebration for the tree lighting, complete with carolers and hot cocoa.
Silly her.
She had envisioned Jax at her
side, holding hands, strolling the plaza before slipping back to her place to cuddle up in front of the fireplace and warming each other up another way.
Tears slipped down her cheeks and she wiped them away. There was still a little time left before she had to be back at the clinic. She could either walk her unhappy little self to the security office and ask Jax flat out what was going on or she could… what? Pretend like she’d heard nothing and ride the fun train until the tracks ran out? Or she could wait and give Jax a chance to tell her on his own.
She turned in the opposite direction of the clinic and walked. The fresh air would do her some good—clear her head and dry her eyes. With Lagasse back, she needed to keep her personal and professional lives separate. The goats were pushing it as it was.
The walk took her past the golf course and then back along the waterfront fence, giving her the time she needed to get some perspective. It was very possible—highly probable even— that there were two chiefs on the base from Georgia and they had either a first or last name that started with the same letter. Serving in the Middle East wasn’t exactly a rarity these days, and Jax was never a Navy SEAL.
A huge relief washed through her.
Her steps were lighter and faster. The figurative gray cloud over her head disappeared and the muscles in her body loosened, while the headache that had been brewing slipped away.
A realization hit her as she reached the clinic, and Risa paused to look at the security building a few hundred feet away. She’d been looking for a reason why this relationship couldn’t work. While she’d entered it of her own accord and with eyes wide open, she knew, in time, that Jax would transfer. No one, or hardly anyone, stayed at the same base their entire career. If she ended it now, there was less chance she’d get hurt, so she had been looking for a way out.
But she’d been wrong.
So wrong, on several different levels, like jumping to conclusions without proof. And thinking that if they called it quits now, it would have been nothing more than a summer fling, something she could look back on fondly in the coming years. Plus, she had completely dismissed Jax’s feelings in all of this.
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