“Was it all bad?” She’d never thought Jax might suffer from PTSD, but the sound of his voice and the blank look on his face worried her.
He slipped his arm around her shoulders and kissed her forehead. “Nothing is all bad if you don’t let it be. I had my brothers and sisters-in-arms and Bella at my side. Food and fresh water, most of the time, and a job to do, that I did well.”
“Not everyone can do what you did, Jax. Don’t make it less than it is.”
“There was this one time we were canvassing a village for unfriendlies. This little boy came running up to me. He couldn’t have been more than four or five. He yanked on my pant leg and pulled on me, trying to get me to follow. There was so much fear in his eyes. I didn’t know if he was afraid of me, of what would happen if I didn’t follow, or for someone else. I just knew Bella wasn’t worried about the kid.”
“What happened?”
“Against all my training, I went with him. And prayed.”
His body trembled beneath her palms and Risa knew he was back there, back in whatever hellhole he’d walked in on that day. She wanted to wrap him in her arms and make it all go away, but she was already holding him and he’d left her to slip into the memory.
“Jax, honey. You don’t have to talk about it,” she whispered, afraid to startle him.
The air whooshed out of him, and he looked deeply into her eyes. “Don’t worry, it has a happy ending.” The smile he gave her was as empty as the calories in a candy bar. “We came around a corner to an open doorway. Inside was this damn big guy beating on a woman. Huddled in the corner was an older couple, sheltering a little girl. I yelled for back-up and kicked his legs out from under him.”
He chuckled and wiped his face with his palm.
“The look on his face was priceless. Turns out the SOB was the unfriendly we were searching for and he’d been taken down by a toddler. He was trying to hide in the house, and the occupants didn’t want anything to do with him. They tried to kick him out, but he got violent. In the end, the good guys won and the woman he was beating on… she kicked him so hard in the nuts, he’s probably still singing soprano.”
Risa laughed for a minute, then reached up and guided Jax back to look at her. “See, you are a hero. And you definitely made a difference in that family’s life.”
He kissed her palm. “Yeah, but now I sit around a desk and write reports and schedules. I miss it.”
His words wrapped around her heart and squeezed with all their might. Now she knew what he meant by more. He wanted back in the thick of things, back in action, living at the tip of the spear. He wanted the danger and adrenaline. Things Risa couldn’t give him.
“Are you going back, Jax?”
He ran his hand down her arm and back up, soothing. “No. I think it’s time for a change. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. And I need to start with an apology because I should have brought this up sooner. I have just over three months until I reach my EOS—end of service—date.”
Risa might not have been totally up on Navy lingo, but she had a good idea what that term meant. “What happens then?”
“I’m not sure. I’m trying to figure it out now. The detailer wants me to stay in and send my ass to a small island in the middle of nowhere, but I think I’m due for something different, something that offers more. The problem is, I’ve been looking and I’ve had no takers yet.”
The words squeezed a little tighter around her heart. He was talking about leaving. She was right back to where she’d been that afternoon in the sandwich shop. Only that couldn’t have been Jax, because those guys said their chief had an interview and Jax just said no one wanted him. Except that wasn’t true, because she wanted him.
“Are you going to go back to Georgia?” She had to know, had to make sure.
“Oh hell, no.” He laughed. “Not if I want to keep my sanity. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but we do better when there’s some distance between us.”
She took a deep breath and sat up, putting some distance between them. It was the only way she could ask her next question. “I know it’s early, and I’m not trying to push. What does all this mean for us?”
“I can’t make any promises, Risa. Come the beginning of the year, I might be sleeping in the back of my truck, or flipping burgers, or hell, I don’t know. I had no right getting involved with you, dragging you into my mess of a life.”
“According to Fee, there is never a perfect time.”
“I wouldn’t blame you if you kicked me to the curb. Ball’s in your court.”
Did she want to play ball, knowing that the game could be cancelled before they reached the end? As much as it would hurt to end things with Jax now, every day that they were together would just up the level of pain when he left.
But that was the old Risa talking, the one afraid to live.
Live life to its fullest.
Take a risk.
Be happy or get hurt?
She’d never know the outcome if she didn’t try, if she didn’t put herself out there, open herself to love and be loved. He said he wasn’t going home.
“Are you planning to stay here?”
“It’s my goal.”
If she said no, told him to leave, she’d always wonder if she had that thing called love in the palm of her hand and had thrown it away out of fear.
“Goals are good.” She scooted forward and laced her fingers with his. “I don’t want you to leave, Jax. As a matter of fact, I’d like it very much if you stayed the night. I’d like to make love with you and wake up with you in the morning. I’d like to do that tonight, and tomorrow after work, we could drive up and check on your girl, then come back here and repeat it all over again. What do you say to that?”
He pulled her forward, making her fall against his chest, where she could feel his heart beating under her hand.
“Sounds like a plan.”
Chapter 15
I should just change my bloody phone number. Risa slammed the phone down on the exam table. Three crank calls in one day, and the day wasn’t over yet.
If they weren’t giving her the silent treatment, then they were breathing like an asthmatic after a flight of stairs.
“Whoa, Doc. What did that phone do to you?”
“Jax.” Risa slid her arms around his neck and kissed the man. “What brings you by? Not that I’m complaining; just surprised.”
His hands skimmed down her backside and cupped her butt until she was pressed against his body. Obviously, he didn’t take her comment as an insult.
“If you’re interested, I’ve got lunch in the truck and a free hour.”
“Let me clear it with Corrie.” She stepped into the reception area. It was just the two of them on most days now, as they’d been ordered to cut hours on their receptionist and the second technician.
“Go,” Corrie said, not even looking up from her lunch as she handed Risa her sweater.
Fall had officially arrived, both on the calendar and in the air, but the sun was shining and the rain held off. And she had the perfect date.
Jax drove them the short distance from the clinic to the lake on the base and surprised her further when he pulled out a fully stocked picnic basket and blanket from behind the seat.
He spread out the throw, laid down, and tugged her into his arms. “How’s life as the boss?”
“I wouldn’t know, and as it looks right now, I might never know. They had to advertise for Lagasse’s position, and I have to apply for it. It’s possible, even with his recommendation, the job could go to someone with more experience. According to the grapevine, that’s what they want. Except there’s the budget crunch, and they don’t want to pay anyone what they were paying my boss.”
“So there’s hope?” His eyes twinkled in the midday sun.
“There’s always hope, Jax
.” She brushed a quick kiss across his upturned lips. “Speaking of, I heard from my contact in Texas today. Bella is doing okay, considering she’s stuck in a crate to keep her off her leg. But the major said her spirits were good. Also, given the severity of the injury, and based on my observations, once she’s healed they’re going to retire her from active duty.”
His smile turned into a frown. “They’ll put her up for adoption.”
“Yes, and he knows I have two interested parties ready to give her a home here. That is, if you still want her.”
He shot up to a sitting position, which knocked Risa on to her butt. “Sorry.” Jax gave her a hand up. “Of course I want her. She’s my girl, my best friend. I also know that they do a full background check on the prospective adopter and that includes a home inspection. Right now, I don’t have a home for her. I wasn’t expecting this to happen so fast.”
“She can stay with me until you’re all set.”
“Isn’t your place full? The pony arrives in what, two weeks?” He slipped his arm around her shoulders and held on tight. “You’d take in every stray, every homeless animal you found if you could.”
His voice held a hint of sadness, and all playfulness from earlier disappeared. A dark cloud passed in front of the sun, mirroring Jax’s mood.
“Does that bother you? My menagerie?” She could deal with a lot, even the uncertainty of their relationship, but she could never, would never, give up her animals. They were just as much family to her as her parents.
“Are you kidding? I love that about you. If it weren’t for Bella, there’s a good chance I wouldn’t be here today. She saved my life and several others many times while we were deployed. She’s not a piece of equipment to be discarded now that she’s damaged. You get that.”
Her phone rang. Risa stared at it, lying on top of her sweater. Please don’t be another crank call.
“Is everything okay?” Jax looked at her glaring at the phone.
She reached for it. “Yeah, of course. Probably work.” When she picked it up, the “missed call” window popped up.
“Hang on.” She hit the log. Thank God, not another blocked call. It wasn’t the office or anyone she knew, so it could wait until after lunch. “Got anything to eat in that basket, or is it just for show?”
Jax pulled out sushi, grapes, cookies, and water while Risa toyed with the phone. She really should tell him about the calls so he could at least note it in her record. It was probably just Sal messing with her head, and if Jax found out, he’d go after the guy again. Then Sal could lodge another complaint against him. Nope, she’d keep quiet and not take the bait.
Taking the proffered chopsticks, Risa attempted to pick up a piece of sushi. “Attempted” was the key word. After dropping it five times, she laughed, picked it up with her fingers, and popped the yummy goodness into her mouth.
The phone rang again, and she automatically reached for it as she swallowed the last bit of food. “Hello,” she mumbled.
Heaving breathing. Great. Jax stopped eating and watched her. She must have been frowning. Just as she was about to hang up, the breathing got harder. “You won’t get away with this,” a non-descript voice whispered and hung up.
“Risa, is everything okay?” Jax’s brows were drawn down, creating deep creases across his forehead, and his words were hesitant.
“Yeah, it was nothing important.” It didn’t make sense. What had she supposedly done? And who was that, because she knew it wasn’t Salvador Rossi. For one, the caller hadn’t used his favorite word for her, nor did it sound like him. Then again, it didn’t really sound male or female.
Who in the bloody hell had she pissed off?
“Then why are your eyes suddenly as angry-looking as the clouds?”
“I should probably get back to the clinic.” She brushed off her hands. “Thanks for lunch.”
“You ate one piece.” His voice took on an authoritative tone that brooked no argument. “Who was on the phone?”
“No one.” She stood, grabbing her sweater and wrapping it around her. “I can walk back so you can finish lunch.”
“Like hell if I’m just going to sit here and let you walk away when you’re shaking like a victim in shock. What’s going on?”
Instead of answering, she walked to the edge of the lake, debating.
What if Sal put someone up to calling her so she wouldn’t think it was him? Jax would still go after Sal and then she was right back in the same place—falling prey for his drama. If she ignored him, he’d go away. He had before.
“Risa, don’t shut me out. Let me help.” Jax slipped his arms around her from behind and rested his chin on her shoulder.
“That’s not my intention.” She sighed. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
“Are you in trouble?”
Was she? She didn’t really know. The hater had upped his game last time he attacked, but he hadn’t gone over the edge into psycho territory. But was this the next step— phone contact, and then confronting her in person… or worse? She shuddered at the thought that one of her fur babies might get hurt, especially because of a stupid decision.
“Listen, if you tell me to drop it. I will. I need to know you’re going to be okay, though.” Jax kissed her cheek and waited.
“Promise me you won’t do anything rash.” She turned in his arms to face him.
“Risa, don’t ask the impossible.”
She clamped her lips shut and met his gaze. Jax was about to see her stubborn streak. Neither said anything for several moments, a battle of wills, but she refused to give. Silence filled the air, creating an uncomfortable wedge between them.
Bloody hell, figures he’d be just as stubborn.
Jax dropped his arms and stepped away. “I better get you back to work.”
Within minutes, all traces of the romantic lunch had been swept away. Jax packed up the truck without a word.
Ugh. This is why animals were so much better than people. My dogs never got their feelings hurt.
“Jax, wait. I’m sorry. It’s probably nothing.”
“Your face said otherwise.”
“I’ve been getting weird phone calls. Mostly heavy breathing, or hang-ups, but today they said something.”
“Word for word, Risa.”
“‘You won’t get away with this.’” She still had no clue what the caller meant.
“Male or female?”
“I couldn’t tell. The person whispered, and it was hard to hear and understand.”
“Accent?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. It was very muffled and distorted, like maybe they had something over the receiver.”
“Let me see your phone.” Jax held out his hand and Risa passed over the phone. He hit a button, then pulled out his phone. “Kelly, I need you to see if you can find out who this number is listed to… eight-six-oh, five-five-five, two-oh-two-five. I’ll be back in the office in a couple of minutes. Let me know then. Thanks. You’re the best.”
When he hung up, he tossed Risa the phone and walked away. He kept his back to her, hands on his hips, looking skyward. He must have scrolled through her phone log and wasn’t happy about what he’d seen.
He turned back around. “You should have told me.”
“I thought it was some kid who’d gotten my number.”
“You’ve gotten four, five calls today, two yesterday, and at least a dozen others over the past couple of weeks. Most of them blocked. That’s not a bored child playing a prank, that’s harassment. It’s very likely the same person who slashed your tires and spray-painted your mom’s car and your house.”
“Why don’t you call them back then? See who answers?”
“Because if it is Rossi, I don’t want him to drop the phone in the river before we can get to him. It’s most likely a burner phone, but this gives
us another link to unraveling this mess.” He walked back to her, stopping short of her personal space.
“I’m sorry, Jax. I really thought it was a random thing until this last call. The thing is, I can’t figure out what it is that I’ve supposedly done and am getting away with. Do you think this person has me mixed up with someone else?”
She wiped away a frustrated tear. Jax swore and pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly.
“It’s going to be okay. We’ll find out who’s behind this.”
* * * *
Jax tossed his cover onto the desk and strolled to the window where he could see the vet clinic. He’d dropped Risa off and checked in with Kelly on the search, not surprised when the number came back as a burner cell.
At his desk, Casey looked up from his work. “Given your mood and the fact that you’re back early, I take it lunch didn’t go the way you planned. Did the doc blow you off for one of her four-legged loves?”
Normally Casey’s teasing rolled off of him, but he wasn’t in the mood. Still, he remembered Mike’s warning from earlier and refrained from flipping Case the finger or telling him where he could go.
“She’s getting phone calls,” he said.
“What kind of calls? And I take it by ‘she,’ you mean Risa.”
Jax turned and paced across the room. “No, Totes the Goat is getting calls from a Hollywood agent for a film role. Of course I’m talking about Risa.”
Casey sat back and steepled his hands under his chin. “What kind of calls?”
“Childish crap, hang-ups, heavy breathing, the sort you’d brush off. Until today. She got a call while we were together that told her she wouldn’t get away with it.”
“With what?”
“Million-dollar question, my friend. She couldn’t give any specifics on the caller, age, sex, voice—”
“Voice distorter? That’s a notch up from amateur.”
“I don’t think so. Risa said the caller whispered and it was hard to understand. Possibly old school and just muffled the receiver. I had Kelly run a check on the number, and no luck.”
Jax was stumped. Whoever was behind this was smart enough not to leave clues, knew Risa’s schedule and where she lived, plus had base access. That left a small pool of suspects, especially when motive was considered. He turned back to the window and watched the activity around the clinic. Nothing out of the ordinary.
A Hero to Love Page 18