Rafe held back a grin at the word “friends”. Well, that was one point for him and Ian. Plus he had to block the image of Sassy doing hot yoga. Talking over serious things while he had a hard-on probably wasn’t the best idea.
“You look good, Sass,” Rafe said as he slid his hands into his jeans pockets. Ian might have worn his suit and tie, looking like the billionaire he was, but Rafe liked the feel of well-worn denim. Plus, it was what Sassy had always seen him in, so he wasn’t going to buck tradition and memories.
She smiled softly, even with the pain in her eyes. “You both look good, too.” Her hands came up to her face and she sighed into them. “Jesus, what are you doing here? What are we doing here?”
He gave a nod to Ian, who unbuttoned his suit jacket and sat down on the couch next to her. He was ice and harnessed power where Rafe was fire and intense passion. Sassy was a blend of both with the manic energy necessary to handle the two of them.
That’s what he loved about the three of them and what he prayed they would be again.
Rafe sat on the coffee table in front of her. They were essentially boxing her in on two sides, yet leaving her an escape with the third.
“We’ve missed you, Sass. No, don’t yell. Please. Not yet. I’m speaking for Ian right now because I know he’s felt at least that, but baby, cariña, you have to know this. We’ve missed you these past ten years. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about you and Ian.” He smiled at the man who’d haunted his dreams right along with the woman in front of him. “We left things off all those years ago in such a shit way that I never thought we’d have a chance to fix it, but Sassy, we can.”
She shook her head, those blue streaks in her hair waving wildly. “No. What we had? That was great when we were younger. Things like this, a triad, it only works when the stars are aligned and people don’t give a fuck about what others say.” She looked at Ian with a sad smile then at Rafe. “Y’all had so much to lose if we kept it up, and frankly, it didn’t work because sure, we tried, but it wasn’t enough. We were kids who wanted to have fun and now we’re older and need to move on.”
It hurt to hear the lies coming out of her mouth but he kept his face level. She was lying to herself just as much as to them. Sassy had to know they knew it as well.
“We’re older, sure, but that means we know what we want.” He nodded to Ian. “I’ll let Ian talk about his own feelings and I’ll talk about my own. We were kids, yeah. We were best friends from three walks of life and fell in love. Don’t lie to me about that. Yeah, we fucked, made love, and had best sex of my life, but we also loved each other. Whatever we do from here on out, don’t take that away. It wouldn’t hurt so much now if it hadn’t meant everything back then.”
“Sassy, we’ve all made choices we regret,” Ian said. “My biggest one is that while I wasn’t the one to walk away physically first, I was the one who left emotionally.”
Rafe sucked in a breath, shocked as hell that Ian would admit that. The man who never showed weakness as a young man had grown up.
Thank God.
Sassy growled then shifted away so she could stand. “No. Don’t do this. I might’ve been the one to leave the two of you, but that was because y’all had already left me.”
Tears streamed down her face and Rafe stood, unable to hold himself back anymore. He brushed her cheeks, and she pulled away.
“Don’t,” she whispered.
“I never left, Sass. No matter what you think, I never left.” He’d deal with Ian in a moment, but right then, she had to know where he stood. He cupped her face and took his heart in his hands by lowering his head. His lips brushed hers ever so slightly as he fell into the memories of what they’d once been.
She tasted of sugar and spice, and he craved her more now than he ever had before. She pulled away again and sniffed.
“You have to leave. Both of you. I’m…I’m sorry I left the two of you before and broke everything, but I can’t do this. I’ve moved on, and I know the two of you must have as well. Please. Just let me live my life without the two of you. I’ve done it for ten years, I can do it again.”
Ian stood and moved to their side. “We’ll leave you alone tonight.” Rafe opened his mouth to speak and Ian shook his head. “No, we’ll leave, Rafe. Sassy’s been through enough tonight. It was a shock to see us. However, darling Sassy, we will be back. Or if you want to see us again before then, we’re in my old loft.”
Sassy’s jaw dropped. “You…you’re back?”
Ian smiled, but it wasn’t nice, more of a determined promise. “Rafe and I are both back in New Orleans for good. We might have stayed away for our own reasons and were apart from each other for even more, but now? We’re home now and we want you with us. Take your time. Think. But know that this isn’t over.”
With that, Ian laid a gentle kiss on her lips and walked to the door. Rafe gripped her chin and forced her gaze to his.
“I know it hurts, but we have to talk and tonight wasn’t the time for more than just a few words and tears. I’ve missed you, my cariña. Don’t run away. You’ll only make me chase harder.”
He kissed her once more then followed Ian out, leaving a stunned Sassy in their wake. It hadn’t gone as well as he had hoped, but he came away with far more than he bargained for.
The foundation had been laid, and it was time to see what happened. He’d come back to New Orleans for his future, and if he had anything to say about it, that future would include Ian and Sassy.
Rafe lost them before…he didn’t want to do it again.
Chapter Three
“Jesus, I can’t believe we did that,” Ian Steele mumbled again as he took a sip of his coffee. He’d slept for shit the night before, and combined with the fading adrenaline of seeing Sassy, his body needed the extra boost of caffeine.
He and Rafe had come back to Ian’s home after leaving a fragile Sassy alone to find her strength—or at least that was what he hoped she was doing. Rafe had a place of his own in town, but both men had decided if they were going to find what they had before, they needed to remain together and learn who they were now.
Rafe had slept in the guest room, neither of them ready for anything more, and both had an unspoken agreement that they needed Sassy to come back to them first.
“You know, that’s the tenth time you said something like that since we left her place last night,” Rafe said as he sat down on the bar stool next to him.
“I’ll keep saying it until it sinks in.” He downed the rest of his coffee since it had grown cold while he’d been sitting there thinking and stood up to get another cup. He lived on the black elixir when he was at work so he knew today would be at least a half-a-pot day.
Ian looked at the man who had once been his best friend, lover and potential future, and sighed. He had no clue how he’d ended up here, but damn, he liked it.
Or at least he would when things worked out.
If they worked out.
Rafe grinned at him, that sexy-as-hell smile just as alluring as it had been when they’d been younger. The man had full arm tattoos that seemed edgier than Sassy’s had been. Both sets of tattoos were new to him. The last time he’d seen Sassy and Rafe, the two had some shoulder and back ink, but that was then.
Time moved on and the ink had been laid.
Ian had a full back piece, but he’d gotten that after he left Rafe and Sassy. They hadn’t seen his ink, and for some reason, he was nervous about that. He told himself he’d gotten the ink to remind himself that he was moving on, yet in retrospect, it was so he would never forget those he’d left behind.
Rafe stood up and walked behind him, careful not to touch, and Ian felt the pang in his heart at that. As much as the two of them had fallen into an easy rhythm since they’d come back to New Orleans, it had been so long since they’d seen each other that the barriers between them seemed monumental.
They’d been so fucking young when they’d met and thought they could handle a new and exciting
relationship. At twenty-five, with the world at his fingertips because of who his family was, he’d thought nothing could touch him.
He’d fallen for Sassy, the bright and fiery woman with secrets he’d never been able to fully uncover, and Rafe, the man from a different world than his in almost every way that mattered.
While Ian was from old money and sophistication, Rafe had been in juvie as a kid even though he’d had a more loving family than Ian’s. They’d met when Ian had gotten a flat tire and for some reason, didn’t have a spare in his trunk. He’d never felt like such an idiot before that moment. His mother later confessed to borrowing his car, getting a flat, and not mentioning it to him.
He’d forgiven her quickly because he’d met Rafe that day. They had struck up a friendship, and when he walked into the tattoo shop and saw Sassy manning the reception desk, he’d been lost. He and Rafe had truly wanted tattoos when they walked into Midnight Ink. That hadn’t been a lie. It had been a reason to get there, but it wasn’t the real one.
Rafe had shown up in Ian’s New York offices after ten years of not seeing or speaking to each other, surprising the hell out of him. Rafe and Sassy had been on his mind more than usual because Ian had been planning on moving back to New Orleans again. Rafe had come with the proposal that they try again for Sassy.
There really hadn’t been a reason to say no.
In fact, it had taken everything in him not to walk around his expensive desk, slam Rafe into the wall, and sear their reunion on both of their minds.
He knew it had taken immense strength for Rafe to come to Ian after so long, but Ian had a feeling if the other man hadn’t come to him, Ian would have found Rafe as soon as the move to New Orleans was complete so they could find Sassy.
It had been long enough.
When they had been younger, the three of them had been as thick as thieves and had fallen into bed quickly. It had never really occurred to him until much later that what they were doing was unheard of in most circles. They had simply been in the moment. He and Rafe had always been bisexual though they both preferred women and it had seemed like the next logical step to share each other as well as Sassy.
It hadn’t seemed wrong then.
It hadn’t been wrong then.
Ian, though, had been a fucking idiot and had let second and third thoughts about what they were doing take over his life. He’d let his family’s and his own prejudices pull him away emotionally from the relationship that had been one of the only truly good things in his life.
They might have been young, but they had it right.
And he’d ruined that.
Rafe cupped his face and turned his body so they were standing chest to chest. Though they were both wearing shirts and sleep pants, Ian could feel the heat radiating off of the other man. They were practically the same height with Rafe being only an inch or so shorter than him. That meant Ian could stare into those honey colored eyes and sink into them fully.
He’d never thought of himself as a romantic. No, that had always been Rafe. Rafe with the warmth and smile for everyone he cared for, even with the badass persona he carried with him like a shield for others.
Ian on the other hand had been cool, remote. He’d always been that way because it was how he’d been raised. He was the only son of the Steele Empire and had the billions to prove it. He didn’t even need to work and could let the Board do everything for him, but he liked the control, the power from making his own decisions and finding ways to make more out of what he had.
“Where are you, mi corazón?” Rafe asked, his voice that sexy rasp Ian had loved once and was starting to again.
Ian let out a breath and rested his forehead on Rafe’s, needing the comfort even if he wasn’t ready for the next step.
“Thinking about the past and what the hell we’re doing now.”
Rafe pulled his hands away and wrapped his arms around Ian’s waist. Ian only hesitated a moment before doing the same. He rested his head on Rafe’s shoulder, inhaling that spicy scent that had always been a dangerous drug to Ian.
“It’s been a weird couple of weeks, that’s for sure,” Rafe mumbled into Ian’s ear and Ian couldn’t hold back his grin.
“What the hell are we doing?” Ian asked as he pulled back and leaned against the counter.
Rafe took a deep breath and shook his head. “I thought we covered this before we went to see Sassy.”
“Then let’s cover it again because we just shattered her peaceful world, and I feel like a fucking asshole about it.”
Rafe narrowed his eyes. “This wasn’t all me. I might’ve gotten the ball rolling, but you were right by my side.”
Ian ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He needed to get a fucking hair cut but had been too out of his mind with worry about what he was about to do with his life to deal with it. Plus, he knew Sassy and Rafe liked it long.
“It’s been ten years, Rafe. We both moved to New York when Sassy left us, and yet for all that time, we didn’t speak to each other. Why was that?”
Rafe leaned against the other counter and folded his arms over his massive—and sexy—chest. Damn it, he needed to stop thinking with his dick and start thinking with his brain or he’d be in trouble.
Again.
“You never contacted me either, Ian. We wanted to cut ties when Sassy left, though you left us long before that.”
Ian ignored the slice across his heart since Rafe wasn’t saying anything he hadn’t known already.
“I…you don’t know how sorry I am for putting that distance between the three of us,” Ian finally said after a moment of strained silence.
Rafe’s eyes widened. “I never thought I’d hear you say that.”
“What? You don’t think I feel sorry? You don’t think I can admit it when I make mistakes? I fucking acted like I was better than the two of you, like I was ashamed of what we had. Because fuck it all, I was.”
Rafe looked like Ian had punched him in the gut and Ian cursed. Damn him and his big mouth for speaking without thinking first.
“Shit, that’s not what I meant.”
Rafe held up a hand. “You said it, and you never say things you don’t mean on some level. You’re ice, Ian. We both know that.”
Ian ran a hand through his hair in a swift, jerky, motion. “Fuck. Yes, I was ashamed of what we had but not because what we had was wrong. Hear me out. You know that a triad in real life is almost unheard of. People don’t see it as a legitimate relationship. They think of it as something for the bedroom, and even then, it should be behind closed doors—never spoken of. People don’t understand that there are real feelings involved—at least there were for us.”
“And by people, you mean your family,” Rafe said dryly.
Ian grimaced. “Yeah, them and everyone else in my life who weren’t the three of us. I was a fucking idiot and we both know it. Sassy knows it too. Jesus, if I could turn back time and fix what I did, I’d do it. I hurt the both of you because I was too scared to figure out what the hell I was feeling and deal with it. I loved you both, you have to believe that.”
Jesus, he’d never laid it out like that before, but damn it, he wasn’t going to hold back like he had before. At least he hoped he wouldn’t.
Rafe’s features softened somewhat but he didn’t smile. Ian missed that smile already, and because of that feeling, he knew he was already in deep. Did he care? He didn’t know.
“Plus, Rafe, even ten years ago being in a relationship with you alone would have been cause for scandal in the world I grew up in. Things have changed for the better in that respect in the past decade, but back then it would have taken a strength I didn’t possess to be honest with myself and you both. I’m so fucking sorry, Rafe, so very sorry I hurt you by pretending I was better than what we were and pulling back. I’m sorry I never introduced you or Sassy to my family and friends from that circle of my life. I’ve only ever been truly ashamed once in my life and it wasn’t because of what we were, but how I ha
ndled it.”
Rafe closed his eyes, his body tense and unmoving. Had Ian said too much? He knew that whatever happened from the point where Rafe had come into his office in New York to talk about their future that things would be beyond difficult.
He just prayed it would be worth it.
It had to be worth it.
“Again, you leave me breathless,” Rafe whispered. “You should have talked to Sassy and me back then. You know it. I know it. And I’m pretty sure Sassy knew it. We were stronger together than we ever were apart. You pulled away and Sassy got scared and left us before we could hurt her. But you know, the truth is, we hurt her anyway. I might have been the one left behind by the both of you, but I made mistakes too. I never fought for you, never fought for Sassy. I just let it all happen and ran to New York with my tail between my legs. I didn’t know what the fuck I wanted to do with my life, so I took a chance and ran away.”
Ian cupped Rafe’s face, startled that he’d taken the initiative this time. He had always been the one in control in the past, yet it had been a long time, and he didn’t know where he stood. It would take a lot of trial and error between all of them to find their footing.
Ian was oddly intrigued about how that would all work.
“We’re a couple of guilt-ridden wrecks, aren’t we?” Ian asked, his voice a deep rasp. “What the hell are we doing, Rafe?” he asked again.
“We’re trying to build a future,” Rafe said after a moment. “We were young when we found and then broke each other just the same. We’re older and hopefully wiser now, Ian. We each have our own lives, you with your business, me with the shops, and Sassy with the family she seems to have made. We’re going to have to figure out how to fit into each other’s worlds while building our own together at the same time.”
“I came to New Orleans to make a life,” Ian said. “I grew up here and in New York because of where my parents had homes. I made New York my home when I left here because that’s where I thought I could do the best business…and I couldn’t stay here after what had happened.”
[Montgomery Ink 00.5 - 01.0] Box Set Page 10