I want to scream. I’m so damn frustrated with her, with Jeremy, with every damn thing today.
“My security team has enough to keep track of.”
“Your security team is a joke and should have been fired years ago.” I cross my arms over my chest.
“Oh, and you’re perfect.”
“Nope. Not even close. But I have a work ethic, and I would work circles around those clowns. You’re an important person, Starla. Whether you want to admit it or not. And letting this go on for months is not okay.”
“I get it.” She holds up her hands in surrender. “I understand it’s dangerous, and I’ve handed everything regarding my security to you. I’m cooperating. I don’t know what else you want from me right now, Levi. Do you want to continue arguing? To shame me? To make me feel small? Because you’re succeeding. I apologized. Now you’re just beating the proverbial dead horse, and it’s pissing me the fuck off.”
I shove my hands through my hair, but before I can respond, she keeps talking.
“I wish I could take a day off from you.”
Okay, that stings.
“And not because I’m trying to punish you, but because I need some space. I need a little time to cool off. To just breathe.”
“You can have it.”
Because, frankly, I need it too.
I reach for my phone and dial Jax’s number.
“Who are you calling?”
I don’t answer, I just hold her gaze as Jax picks up.
“Yello.”
“Hey, it’s Levi. Starla’s going to come stay with you for a day or two. Cool?”
“Totally cool. Room’s ready.”
“She’ll be there soon.”
I hang up and look at the woman I love more than anything. Under normal circumstances, I could tell her that I’d see her tomorrow and just go home.
But now, someone wants to kill her, and that’s not an option.
“Thanks for treating me like the child you, yourself, said you hated being treated as. It’s awesome.”
“I don’t know what to fucking do,” I say, holding my hands out to the sides. “We’re pissed at each other, and I can’t leave you alone, Starla. So pack a goddamn bag so I can take you to Jax and give you the space you want.”
“I don’t need a bag. Let’s go.”
She snatches her handbag from the table by the front door and marches ahead of me out to my car, sliding into the passenger seat. The air is thick with silent irritation as we drive the short distance to Jax and Logan’s condo. Starla hops out of the car and hurries into the building without saying goodbye or even looking in my direction, and I don’t get out to follow her.
I’m done with this godforsaken day.
I do pause to make sure the guys assigned to her are in place before I drive away. I want to go home, pour about six glasses of scotch, and go to bed. But that won’t help anything, and if I’m alone, I’ll just hate my own company.
So I drive to my parents’ house. I promised a few weeks ago that I’d stop by and look at a leaky faucet.
I’ve been a little busy.
“Anyone here?” I ask as I walk inside my childhood home. The house has evolved over time with the addition of new furniture, different paint colors, and flooring. But the smell and the feelings it evokes when I walk inside will always be the same.
This is home.
“I’m in my office,” Dad calls, so I wander to the room he keeps in the back of the house. Dad’s mostly retired now, but he still likes to dabble at home. He’s a successful financial planner, and I can see him doing this until the day he dies.
Numbers and music are his passion.
“What are you up to?” he asks as he pecks at his keyboard.
Dad never did learn to type.
“I had a couple of free hours, so I thought I’d drop by to fix that faucet Mom called me about a few weeks ago.”
“That was four months ago,” Dad says with a laugh. “We had a plumber come. It’s fixed.”
“Well, shit.” I collapse into the chair facing him and rub my hand over my face. “I’m sorry, Dad. I guess time just slipped away from me.”
Just the way it did for Starla and her emails.
God, I’m an ass.
“Not a big deal,” he says and finishes what he was doing, then turns to look at me. “You don’t look so hot.”
“I don’t feel so hot either.” I smile ruefully. “Sometimes, you have a shitty day.”
“If you’re still breathing, it’s a fantastic day.” He winks and opens a cupboard, then pulls down two glasses and a bottle of scotch. “But a guy can always use a sip or two of this.”
“You might have read my mind.”
He slides a glass to me, and I take a sip.
“What’s wrong?” he asks. “The job?”
“Yeah.” I swallow the rest of the amber liquid and set the glass aside, then settle in to talk to my dad. I tell him the whole story. Because no one knows me better or gives better advice than Dad does.
~Starla~
I feel like shit.
Worse than shit.
I feel like someone beat me over the head with a mallet, made me eat fourteen meals at a fast food joint, and left me for dead in the gutter.
“Ugh.” I try to roll over, but my joints are sore, so it takes me a minute. By the time I’m settled on my other side, Jax barges through the door.
Okay, so he cracks it and quietly looks inside.
“Good morning, sunshine,” he whispers.
I grunt a response, and he takes that as a come on in. So he does. He sits next to me and brushes my hair off my face.
“You look like shit.”
“Yep.”
“You didn’t go to bed when you said you did.”
I shrug a shoulder. “Nope.”
“What did you do?”
“Wrote.”
“I don’t have a piano.”
“Don’t need one for lyrics.” I yawn and frown at the dry mouth I feel. Jesus, you’d think I went on a four-day bender. “So sore. Headache.”
“Because you haven’t drunk any water in twenty-four hours, haven’t eaten, and barely slept.”
“Stop judging me.”
I bury my face down in the pillow and regret my life choices.
“Come on, I’m going to take care of you before Levi discovers the state you’re in and cuts off my balls.”
“Levi’s not the boss.”
But I sit up and let Jax pull me from the bed to my feet. I am hungry. If I drank coffee, I’d have six cups.
Too bad it repulses me.
Must be left over from when I was a kid and my parents said caffeine was from Satan.
I follow Jax to the kitchen and sit at the island as he sets out to make me eggs and toast. He’s a great cook.
Jax is actually good at most things.
“Should we talk about what’s going on?” he asks as he cracks four eggs into a bowl.
“No. Because you’ll yell at me, and I’m already pissed at myself enough.”
“I won’t yell.”
“Yes, you will.” I sigh and hunch over the counter, resting my pounding head in my hands. “It’s not like I kept it a secret. I just didn’t tell anyone.”
“I don’t even know what the hell is going on. You just suddenly have cops following you everywhere you go. It’s a little unnerving.”
“Trust me, I know.” I fiddle with the salt and pepper shakers. “I’ve had some threatening letters and stuff. But I get a lot of weird mail. You know that. So, I just blew them off as another weirdo.
“But a few weeks ago, it escalated to the person sending photos as well, ones they Photoshopped to look like I’m dead.”
He sets the bowl aside and leans on the counter, listening.
“I showed them to Levi, and he’s doing the cop thing, investigating it all and trying to figure out who’s sending them. So far, they can’t tell who it is. But the letters are disturbing en
ough to want some protection at all times. That’s why I can’t ever be alone.”
“I think we should invite the cops inside,” Jax mutters, shaking his head. “How long?”
“I thought it was about six months, but the guy working on my electronics at Levi’s office found emails that go back over a year.”
“Holy shit, little girl.”
“I know! See, I told you you’d yell at me. And trust me, I’m pissed at myself enough for both of us.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything to anyone? More than a year ago, you were on tour and had a whole team of security with you at all times. All you had to do was hand it off to someone and tell them to deal with it.”
“I know.” I hang my head in my hands again. It’s pounding the beat of a cha-cha. “I just don’t remember them sounding threatening before. It’s gotten way worse lately. And we’re on it now. Levi will find him or her.”
“You should call him.”
“The stalker?”
“Levi.”
“I think I’m still mad at him.”
“Does he know you’re not ghosting him again?”
I look up as he empties the eggs into the hot pan and starts to stir. “Of course, he does. I’m not ghosting him, for Christ’s sake, I’m taking a breather.”
“Maybe you should just call and tell him that. Just to put his mind at ease.”
“Oh, for the love of Moses.” I walk into the guest room and retrieve my phone. I haven’t missed any calls or texts.
I dial Levi’s number and frown when it goes to voicemail after only two rings.
“He sent me to voicemail.”
“Wow, he’s really mad at you.”
My stomach rolls at the idea of Levi being so angry that he doesn’t want to speak to me at all. I mean, I know that’s how I was yesterday, but now in the light of a new day, I feel bad.
“Hi, Levi. It’s Starla. Hey, I just wanted to touch base with you today and say I’m sorry for being a raging bitch, and I’m not trying to skip out on you or anything like that. I’m not really mad at you. I just need a day or two, but I’ll be sure to text you and stuff, okay?” I bite my lip and wish I didn’t sound so stupid. “I hope you have a good day. Okay. Bye.”
When I hang up, Jax is staring at me like he’s never met me before.
“What?”
“Jesus, you sound lovesick.” He scoops some eggs onto a plate, adds two halves of toast, and passes the plate to me. “Just go find him.”
“No. We’ve been together pretty much twenty-four-seven for the past couple of weeks. A day apart won’t kill us, and maybe I need it. He’s amazing. But sometimes, he’s intense.”
I tell Jax about the day of the interview and how Levi fired the security guy.
“Well, it sounds like that guy was an idiot.”
“Of course, he was an idiot, but that didn’t give Levi the right to—”
“Okay, stop talking.” Jax sets his fork down and leans in, looking all alpha and fierce. “When a man is trying his damn best to protect you from a real threat and love you at the same time, don’t sit there and complain about it. Because let me tell you, there are plenty of men out there who wouldn’t give a shit as long as you let them fuck you. If that’s what you want, you can find it.”
“That’s not what I want.”
“Then let him do his job, as both a cop and your man.”
I frown down at my plate for a moment, thinking about Jax’s words. “He hasn’t ever said he loves me.”
“I don’t know why any of us do, because you’re a stubborn ass,” Jax says with a humorless laugh. “Of course, he loves you. He’s done nothing but show you that he does, even if he hasn’t said the words.”
“Yeah.” I scrub my hand over my face in frustration. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right. And I’ve done my best to cooperate with him. I’m never alone, Jax.”
“And for you, that’s like being at Guantanamo.”
“Exactly. And yesterday, when Levi came home and immediately started accusing me of basically allowing someone to stalk me for a year, I just couldn’t take it anymore. It’s a lot. I wanted a day off from all of it.”
“From the tone of his voice, it sounded like he did, too. He was frustrated when he called.”
“You’re right. Time apart isn’t the death of a relationship.”
“No, and I’m always happy to see you. I’m glad he called me.”
“Me, too.”
I take a bite of eggs, but they taste like cardboard. It’s not Jax’s fault. Everything is tasteless.
“You know what you need?”
“A lobotomy?”
“No, smartass. You need a girls’ night out. And I’ll even take one for the team and go with you, even though those girls are scary when they’ve had alcohol.”
“There’s no way I can go out dancing, Jax. It would be a security nightmare.”
“So rent out a club for the night. It’ll be a private party.”
“I’ll just give you my AmEx. Take my money and arrange it.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“No. Knock yourself out.”
“Holy shit, I just died and went to heaven.”
“You found the cutest dress for tonight,” Meredith says. It’s mid-afternoon, and we’ve been out shopping. The reasons are two-fold.
One, shopping is the ultimate therapy.
And two, I wanted something flirty and sassy for girls’ night out, which Jax has miraculously arranged for tonight.
Byron, the police officer, has been with us all day, following us from store to store, always no more than ten feet away.
I offered to buy him lunch, but he declined.
“Does Levi know where we are?” I ask him.
“Yes, ma’am.”
I nod and turn back to Meredith. “It’s weird, don’t you think?”
“No. I think it’s sweet, and it makes me feel better that he’s here. Just in case. Jax told me everything, by the way.”
“I figured he would. It’s okay, everyone should know. The more eyes looking for something off, the better I suppose.”
“I’m not even going to get into the whole you-should-have-told-me-months-ago thing.”
“I would appreciate it if you didn’t.” A familiar face catches my eye as we walk through the mall. “Belinda? Belinda, is that you?”
Her head swivels toward me as if she didn’t see me earlier, but I could swear she was just watching me.
“Starla?” Belinda says in surprise. “Oh my gosh, hi!”
“Hey there.” I hug her tightly and then turn to Meredith. “Do you remember Belinda? She comes to every show.”
“Of course, I do,” Mer says with a smile. “It’s nice to see you.”
“You, too,” Belinda says. She’s a tall brunette with short hair and doesn’t usually wear makeup. She’s always been a superfan, coming to every show on the west coast, and one of my biggest supporters on social media.
“Gosh, I haven’t seen you in a while,” I say. “Are you living in Seattle now?”
“Yeah, I’ve been here for about six months or so. I came for a job.”
“Good for you. How is your daughter? Angie?”
“Angel,” she corrects me.
“Of course, I’m sorry. How is she feeling?”
I met Belinda and her daughter Angel through the Make-A-Wish Foundation years ago when Angel was so sick with cancer. But she pulled through. The last I heard, she was doing great.
“Oh, she—” Belinda swallows hard. “She passed away a year ago in July.”
“Belinda, I’m so sorry.” I tug her to me for another hug. “I hadn’t heard. I’m so, so sorry.” I pull away. “Is there anything you need? Anything I can do?”
She shakes her head. “No, thanks. I’m fine. I’m going to be late for something, so I’d better go.”
“I didn’t mean to hold you up. Take care, Belinda.”
She nods and hurries off, and
I exchange a sad look with Meredith.
“That’s so sad. I thought she was acting weird, but now I know why,” Mer says, shaking her head. “I’d be acting weird too if I was in her shoes.”
“It’s horrible,” I agree as we continue walking. I glance back at Byron, who’s currently talking into his phone ten feet away. “Should we get some ice cream?”
“The answer to ice cream is always yes.”
“You know I’m not hot after your husband, right?”
Sam and I are sitting at a booth in the dark club. Most of the girls are on the dance floor, but some are at the bar. I asked Sam to join me so I could clear the air. I’ve been thinking about this since my talk with Nat and Luke.
“Dude, if I thought you were after my husband, I wouldn’t be here.”
“Well, I figured that. I just wanted to make it perfectly clear to you that I respect and like you, and Leo is a lucky guy. I’m happy for both of you.”
“Thank you,” she says after sipping her margarita. “I didn’t like you for a long time. I won’t say I can’t be jealous. But when you’re married to someone like Leo Nash, jealousy would be the death of me. Everyone wants a piece of him.”
“Not me,” I say adamantly. “And not just because I have a guy, but because that is ancient history.”
“I’m not worried,” she says with a confident smile. “I even like you. And trust me, I don’t like just anyone.”
I laugh in relief. “Well, good. And back at you. I guess being guarded is a necessity.”
“Luke mentioned that you’d like to use the studio.”
“If it’s not being used for Nash stuff, I’d really love to. I’m in Seattle for at least a couple more months, and I’ve written some songs I’d like to record.”
“I’ll have Leo call you,” she says.
“Thank you. Really.”
She clinks her glass to mine just as Jules and Natalie come join us from the dance floor.
Brynna, Stacy, and Meredith are dancing with Jax. Joy and Lia are at the bar with Alecia. Anastasia, Lia’s sister, is with the DJ, discussing what songs to play next.
They’re a fun group of women. Actually, that’s not right. They’re a ridiculously fun group of women.
“God, I’m out of shape,” Nat says as she takes a sip of her drink.
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