by Thayer King
“Oh, it’s not scheduled or anything.” She shrugged. “I just pop in.” Her phone buzzed again just as she was picking up her fork. I want you here. Sighing, she tried to sooth him with the promise of seeing him after work.
“And he likes that? I wouldn’t dare. I remember dropping by once to confirm a dinner invitation and he almost bit my head off.”
Ashley grimaced. “Yeah, well, he has become a bit…rigid.” There were moments when he seemed to be enjoying himself, but they were rare. His life revolved around the family business. He filled what free time he had with charities and other high society approved events. It didn’t leave much room for fun. Somehow, she felt responsible. Her phone vibrated. Now he was calling. “Aster, do you mind? It must be important if he’s calling.”
Aster waved a hand. “Pretend I’m not here.”
“Hello-”
“I want you here now.”
“Stephen, I explained that I’m having lunch with Aster. Is there some sort of emergency?”
“Anything. Isn’t that what you told me? You’d do anything to win me back. I want you here.”
Ashley closed her eyes. The man kept demanding she jump through hoops for him and she was beginning to think that nothing she did mattered. He was never going to forgive her. Was he even trying? That question had been clawing its way to the surface for a while now. She’d been resolutely attempting to push it away, to bury it. “Is there some reason you can’t wait until tonight to see me,” she whispered, feeling unaccountably broken.
“Are you saying you’d rather be with Aster?”
“Stephen, I was at your office for lunch Monday and Tuesday,” she said reasonably. “I can come tomorrow.”
“What do the two of you have to talk about besides me anyway?”
“We’re catching up.”
He grunted. “You can do that anytime. I’d like to see you. Now, please.”
“But I’ve already eaten,” she said with a glance down at her half empty plate.
“Don’t worry about that. I’ll be waiting for you.” He hung up as though it were a foregone conclusion that she would obey.
Ashley bit her lip as she tucked her phone into her purse. “Aster, I have to go.”
Aster reached across the table and covered her hand with hers. “How are things between you and Stephen?”
She swallowed. “I wish I knew.”
***
He should just end it. Stephen paced his office. If the small matter of her not showing up for lunch one day could so throw him off that he felt like his insides were cramping, then he was in too deep. When she showed up, he should just tell her that it was over. Sunday should have been a wakeup call to him. He’d been eaten up with jealousy and possessiveness—emotions he’d never felt for any other woman. And he certainly shouldn’t be feeling them for Ashley. Ever since she’d stormed back into his life, she’d been nothing but a disruption. He hadn’t gotten any work done since noon ticked around. He’d sat at his desk waiting for his secretary to inform him that Ashley had arrived. Yet again. Without an appointment. She didn’t give a damn about disrupting his carefully planned schedule. When one o’clock had rolled around and she had yet to arrive, he’d been confused. For a moment, he’d wondered if Shane were still in town. Would she see the other man behind his back? The thought had made him livid.
So he’d done the only thing he could do. He’d demanded her presence for lunch. He hadn’t liked the way she’d sounded when he’d talked to her on the phone. She didn’t have her usual bright effervescence. Instead, she’d reminded him of a wounded bird. Was it possible that she’d changed her mind about him? Didn’t she want him back anymore?
Well, whether she did or didn’t shouldn’t matter to him. He wasn’t taking her back. He wasn’t a fool.
There was a knock at his door and then Ashley was breezing into his office. She wore a flowing purple dress with large yellow flowers on the skirt. “I’m here,” she said, extending her arms.
Stephen crossed to her. Cupping her beautiful face in his hands, he drew her to him for a kiss. She shoved at his shoulders to break the kiss, but he simply covered her mouth again, his tongue plunging deep. She resisted him for about half a second before melting in his arms and kissing him back. She sucked on his tongue. He cupped her firm buttocks and rubbed his already throbbing arousal against her belly. He nibbled her earlobe before sucking on it.
Moaning, Ashley asked, “Stephen, is this why you asked me to come here?”
He took her hand and slid it over his erection. He groaned. “Does it matter?”
She inhaled sharply and withdrew from his arms. “You are aware that I’m not your mistress, are you not?”
“How could you be my mistress?” he asked, confused and a bit too aroused for a conversation. Where she was concerned, he had little control. He shook his head. “I’m not married,” he pointed out.
“Then why do you insist on treating me like it? You called me here for sex. We’ve been out together once and you took me out of town like you were ashamed of being seen in my company.” Her expression was anguished. “Tell me that I’m wrong.”
Stephen frowned. “Ash, I’m not ashamed of you. We were out of town because you said you wanted to go for a ride like we used to do. As for anywhere else I’ve been, it’s been charity shit that I couldn’t get out of.”
“You could have asked me to go,” she said in a small voice. The tone was so uncharacteristic of her that he wanted to kick his own ass for hurting her.
He just barely restrained himself from wrapping her in his arms. That was the point of this entire charade—to make her feel even a fraction of the pain he’d felt when she betrayed him. He needed to be the one who walked away this time. And he would. But not just yet. He wasn’t done working her out of his system.
“Those events weren’t important. Look, Ash, this is a difficult situation.” Stephen wasn’t sure what to tell her. He didn’t want to lie to her. He’d never been any good at lying to her. She could always tell. As things stood, he’d done nothing to deceive her. He’d made no false promises.
She nodded slowly. “I understand that.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “If you don’t mind, I’m going home. You’ll be home in time for dinner?”
“Of course.” She was almost at the door when he stopped her. He couldn’t let her leave like this. “Ash.” He pulled her into his arms and hugged her and was relieved when she hugged him back.
***
For the first time in years, Ashley was actively avoiding thinking about Stephen. When she’d initially left him, she thought about him constantly and the unhappiness had just about broken her. So she’d pushed thoughts of him aside and concentrated on her career. After she became involved with Shane, the memory of what they’d shared refused to be denied any longer. She couldn’t commit herself to another man when she still loved Stephen with all of her heart. Every unsatisfying touch from Shane had only served to remind her of what she’d lost.
Yet now that she was with him again, nothing was the same. He was lying to her. Not with words. But she knew it in her heart. He hadn’t forgiven her and she was beginning to wonder if he ever would. She couldn’t spend the rest of her life atoning for her past sins. Not even for Stephen.
She was working on her laptop in the sitting room when her mother called. “Hi, Mom,” she said. They hadn’t spoken in a few days.
“Hi, baby,” Maybelline White said. “Guess where I am!”
Ashley laughed and closed her laptop. “I can’t imagine. Why don’t you tell me?”
“Puerto Rico!”
“What?” She knew her parents were discussing going on a trip, but she was surprised that they hadn’t told her beforehand. “How did this happen?”
“It was a spur of the moment decision. Some other members of the church were going and we decided to tag along.”
“All the way to Puerto Rico?”
“Well, we were planning on going somewhere and the
opportunity was too good to pass up. We’ll be back in five days.”
Ashley shook her head. She didn’t know why she was surprised. She did inherit her spontaneity from her mother. “Okay. How is dad?”
“He’s doing fine. We’re all about to head out for some sightseeing and then dinner. I called to give you our contact information in case you wanted to reach us.”
“Um, okay.” She glanced around her. She didn’t have paper or a pen within reach. Her laptop bag was upstairs in the bedroom. “Hold on a second. I’ve got to get paper.” Instead of trekking all the way upstairs, she headed for Stephen’s office. It was his father’s old office, so she had avoided the room up until now. She recalled how she’d come to Stephen’s house to meet his parents that first time. His mother had greeted them at the door, but his father had been holed up in his office. Ashley had been excited and eager to meet them as it symbolized how serious Stephen was about their relationship. What a crushing disappointment that night had turned out to be.
She’d been in the office only once before—when she’d been wandering through the house aimlessly looking for a bathroom. Stephen hadn’t redecorated the office. It was as intimidatingly masculine as she remembered. She rounded the big wooden desk and rifled through one of the drawers looking for a pad of paper. She found a large yellow pad and pulled it out. Snatching a pen out of a cup on his desk, she noted a manila folder with her name written on the tab.
“Honey, have you got paper yet,” her mother asked, recalling her attention to the phone.
“Um, yeah, Mom, go ahead.” She scribbled quickly and then confirmed the information with her mother before they exchanged goodbyes. She dropped into Stephen’s chair and drew the folder closer. She was almost afraid of what she would see inside but she couldn’t pretend to not have seen it.
Taking a deep breath, she flipped it open. She couldn’t say she was entirely surprised at the contents. There was a detailed report of her education and employment history for the last few years. The bank statements were somewhat of a shock. She was certain that they were obtained illegally. She hadn’t given him authorization to check her credit.
“Ashley? What are you doing in here?” Stephen appeared in the doorway and then stopped. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
She wiped at her cheeks, surprised to find tears there. “I found your folder,” she whispered.
His eyes swept down to her hands and back to her eyes. “I can explain that.”
Flipping it closed and standing, she shook her head. “There’s no need to.” She slid her cell into a discrete pocket sewn into the skirt of her dress.
“Ash, I haven’t even looked at that folder.”
“Okay.” She believed him, but it didn’t matter. She returned to the sitting room to get her laptop. Stephen trailed her.
“Okay? That’s all you have to say?”
“What else is there to say?”
He frowned and shoved his hands into his pockets. “You’re behaving strangely.”
She expelled a shaky breath. She felt strange, too. She felt…empty, numb. “I need to go.”
“Go? Where?”
She didn’t answer him. She climbed the stairs. He followed her to his bedroom. She went into the closet and got her luggage and any of her clothing that was hanging within reach. She placed her bag on the bed and began methodically folding her clothing and placing it in the suitcase.
“What the hell? What are you doing? I told you I could explain about the folder. I told you, I haven’t even opened it. I just needed to-”
“And I said, it doesn’t matter.”
“Then why are you leaving?” he asked, tossing his hands up in the air.
“Because you don’t love me anymore,” she said and then dropped her face in her hands as a sob wracked her shoulders.
“That’s the exact opposite of what you’ve been telling me since you came back.”
Sniffing, she wiped her cheeks and went back to packing. She needed to get out of here quickly. “I know, but I was wrong.”
Stephen scowled. “And you came to this conclusion based on the contents of a damned folder that I haven’t even looked at? What the hell is in that folder?”
“It’s not the contents that matter. It’s what it means. You don’t trust me. You’re not even interested in forgiving me. You’ve-you’ve been trying to get revenge and that’s all.” She bit her lip. It was what she’d suspected all along, but speaking the words made it seem real. And it hurt. “Well, I hope you’ve gotten a satisfactory pound of flesh because I’ve got no more to give.”
“What you’re really saying is that you’ve given up on me. I thought you loved me.”
Her mouth twisted. “I love a memory. It’s pretty clear you’re no longer that man. The man I loved would never set out to intentionally hurt someone.” She slammed the lid closed on her luggage and zipped it up. “You know, Aster and even your mother tried to warn me that you’d changed, but I wouldn’t listen. I couldn’t believe….” She stopped with a shake of her head. “Your father would be very proud of you.”
“Don’t talk about my father! He was protecting me from you!”
“Protecting you from me,” Ashley echoed, feeling as though he’d slapped her.
“Yes, and it turns out that he was right about you,” he sneered. “You wanted one thing and once you got it, you were gone.”
“I feel sorry for you if you think that your money is all you have to offer.” She crossed to the dresser to get her makeup bag. “All I ever wanted was you. I was forced to give you up.” She shoved cosmetics into the back, quickening her pace. The sooner she left, the better it would be. She had to get out of here while she was still in one piece. “You didn’t walk into that hospital room and see my father so thin and gray. I thought he was going to die. And then that night I saw my mother crying over bills, wondering how they were going to keep the house. I had one avenue to fix everything. And I took it. It broke my heart and I thought I would die without you, but sometimes you do what you have to do. And then you live with it. By coming back here, I thought…that…” She shook her head. “I guess what they say is true about not being able to go home again.”
“So you’re giving up?”
“If I thought there was something to fight for, I’d stay. But there isn’t. I’m leaving while I can still cherish the memories.” She got her bags and her purse. “I’ll call a cab to take me to a hotel. I’ll see myself out. Goodbye, Stephen.”
Chapter Ten
Stephen tried to concentrate on the spreadsheet on his monitor, but the numbers swam together. His head was pounding and his eyes ached. Two nights with barely any sleep and liquid dinners had caught up to him. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes.
A knock sounded on his office door before it was opened. For a moment, his heart leaped at the possibility that it might be Ashley. Paula knew that Ash didn’t need permission to enter his office. If it was anyone else, he wanted to be notified first.
“Forgive my lack of delicacy, but you look like hell, darling.”
Stephen slumped back in his chair. “Mother. You’re still in town.”
“I wouldn’t leave without telling you.” She came around and kissed him on the cheek. She smoothed his hair back from his forehead. “Are you ill?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.” She studied him for a long moment. “You look like a man who’s made a terrible mistake but is too stubborn or too proud to correct it.” He didn’t reply and she sighed. She rounded his desk and took a seat in front of it. “So how did you manage to push Ashley away?”
“What makes you think that it was something that I did?”
“Because that girl loves you with all her heart and she always has.”
Stephen started with shock. “What makes you say that? You agreed with dad that she was all wrong for me.”
She shrugged. “That was until she was gone and I saw how that shatter
ed you. In some ways, you’ve never recovered. I hated your father for that. I was hoping you’d have the good sense to forgive her.”
He reflected on Ashley’s last words to him about how she’d been trying to save her father. “I wish she had told me.”
Catherine nodded. “I wish she had as well. I would have given her the money if she’d only asked.”
He should have been surprised, but he knew his mother had a generous spirit and she’d always spoiled him.
“Stephen, it’s not too late. Don’t let mistakes in the past ruin what could be a happy future.”
He sighed. “It is too late. Not because of what she’s done, but because of what a jerk I’ve been to her. She loves who I used to be.” And she didn’t need him anymore. He’d finally gotten around to checking that folder, certain he’d find something there to put an end to any lingering affection he had for her. Instead, he found that she’d done exactly what she said she was going to do with the money. She’d turned it over to her parents and they’d used it on hospital bills, college tuition, and mortgage payments. Ashley had lost her job. But she wasn’t expecting to live off him as he’d half suspected. She wasn’t looking for a job because she didn’t need one. She’d developed a few educational apps that she’d sold to toy companies and had a healthy bank account. The last one had sold for close to ten million dollars.
“Darling, I love you, but do I need to come around there and kick you in the pants? She was brave enough to come to you after seven years and beg you for forgiveness and you can’t do the same?”
He shook his head. “Didn’t you hear what I said? She told me she didn’t love me anymore.”
“And you were stupid enough to believe that?”
He blinked. “Well, yeah.”
His mother scoffed. “Men,” she muttered almost to herself with no small amount of disgust. “She was hurting. Go to her and beg her forgiveness. Get on your knees if you have to, but get it done.” She rose. “I’m going to visit some friends in St. Thomas for a few weeks. By the time I get back, I expect you’ll have this sorted out.” She smiled. “I’ll help you pick out your wedding invitations.” She rounded his desk and kissed his forehead.