I couldn’t stop myself. I scooted forward on the cushion and grabbed his good hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Holden.” He didn’t budge. “Holden. Look at me.” He did, and I looked into those gorgeous blue eyes, trying to make him feel the faith that I had, the hope. “We are going to get through this. Do you trust me?”
He blinked. “I barely know you.”
I smiled. “You know what? You’re right. So…what do you say we do something about that first and foremost? Let’s get to know each other better, and then we’ll kick these injuries to the curb. Because I believe, in my heart of hearts, that you are going to be okay. No, that doesn’t mean you’ll play again. We know those days are over. And we’ll deal with the grief of that later. But I do believe that you’ll get your quality of life back and find something that brings you just as much joy. If not more.”
He swiped at his spiky hair and then lowered his hand again to mine to squeeze, his blue topaz eyes meeting mine. “From your mouth to God’s ears.”
Chapter 7
Holden
“Osric, you’re a sadist, you know that?” I grouched at the nurse as he did his thing, making sure I was clean, changing my bandages, exercising the leg and the shoulder a bit.
The younger man smirked, clearly not apologetic or offended.
“I don’t know about sadist, but I do enjoy my job. And you know what they say: no pain, no gain.” He lifted my elbow again, gently pushing it, being very careful but testing my range of motion. Once he’d finished, he reached over and took out the pills I needed to take, handing them to me with a bottle of water. “Your reward.”
I scoffed. “Some reward.” I tossed back the pills and took a big swig of the liquid. “Anything else for today?”
Osric checked his folder and shook his head. “Nope. You and I are good, but I got a call from Doctor Miller, who said I was to make sure you were ready to go at three.” He walked off into the other room.
The name didn’t register at first. And then it hit me. Tamryn. Ah, it was Wednesday. We were supposed to engage in our first get-to-know-you session today. She’d stayed for a bit the other day, and we’d talked about nothing important. Reminiscing about games and things. I’d thought it would depress me, but for some reason, talking and laughing about the good old days with Tamryn was cathartic in a very unexpected way. She texted when she got home, and we talked that way for another hour before I finally started fading from my weakened state, the long day, and the meds.
Despite the shit-tastic situation of my life at present, I had found some joy yesterday, and I was looking forward to today. I had no idea what she had planned, but I couldn’t wait to see her. And that made me hesitant. I hadn’t let a woman get close in a while. After my ex, Amara, I never trusted enough. I wasn’t a monk, of course I had hookups, but all parties involved knew the score. But there was something about Tamryn that made me imagine things I probably shouldn’t. Not only because of who I was and the state of my life right now, but also because of how I was and the fact that she was my doctor. We were coworkers. But that didn’t stop my mind from conjuring all sorts of fantastical images about her. Both while sleeping and awake.
I glanced at the clock. It was still pretty early. Osric had helped me shower earlier, but I needed to try and tame the mane and put on some decent clothes. I was in my most beat-up grey sweats and an athletic department tee. Even if we weren’t going anywhere, I didn’t want to look like a slob. I maneuvered myself back into the chair and headed over to my closet. I picked out a pair of khaki shorts and a button-down shirt, and then did my best to wrestle myself into them with one arm. By the time I was mostly dressed, I was sweating and swearing and exhausted. God, this fucking sucks.
“Yo, Osric? Are you still around?” I called out. The other man came walking back into the room, took one look at my state, and rushed over.
“Why didn’t you call for help? I was just out on the porch taking care of the chairs like you asked,” he said as he untwisted my shorts and got things settled and then helped me into the shirt.
“I thought I could do it myself. Seems like even the simplest things are a no-go for me now.” I balled up my tee and threw it as hard as I could into the corner of the closet with my left hand, grunting at the pain the movement caused in my other side. Osric placed a gentle hand on my shoulder once I’d settled.
“Holden. It hasn’t been that long. And you haven’t been doing much but healing up until now. The fact that you got as far as you did just now is saying something. Don’t brush off the small wins. And you won’t be in this chair for too much longer. You’ll be completely self-sufficient in no time.” He smiled, but it wasn’t contagious. I wished I could feel the hope that he and Tamryn felt, but right now, all I felt was the negative stuff.
When I was dressed, I went into the bathroom to finish getting ready and throw on some cologne, but I was almost too tired to do it. And my mood had seriously tanked. I didn’t want to see anybody else today. Especially not Tamryn. I rolled over and grabbed my phone off the nightstand and sent her a quick text.
Me: Hey. Had a rough day. Not up for later. Sorry.
I saw the three blinking dots as she texted a reply.
Tamryn: Oh no you don’t! You don’t get to cancel. We’re doing this thing, and you’re going to like it.
Tamryn: You have time to take a nap. I will be there at three sharp.
Tamryn: And you will let me in. If you don’t, I will call Mrs. Reyes, and I know you don’t want me to do that.
The woman played dirty. I glanced at the clock. She was right, I could crash for a bit. Maybe I’d feel better when I woke.
Me: Fine, doc. But you are not allowed to yell at me if I’m in a bad mood. But I get to yell at you. I’m an invalid, after all.
Tamryn: I dare you to be in a bad mood when you see what I have planned. Get some rest. I’ll see you later.
Chapter 8
Tamryn
If Holden thought he could cancel on me simply because he was in a bad mood, the man had another thing coming. I would not be denied.
After picking up the last of what I needed at the grocery store, I headed over to his place. I couldn’t stop thinking about how this might go. It would either do exactly as I’d hoped and raise his spirits, allowing him to get lost for a few hours while we developed the trust we’d need to see this rehab through. Or, it would fail spectacularly and send him down into a spiral. I really and truly hoped that I had read him well enough and knew him well enough even superficially to know that it would be the former. However, only time would tell.
Pulling up at his gate—which was closed unlike the other day when I stopped by—I pressed the buzzer and waited. A few seconds later, a male voice answered, but I didn’t think it was Holden. And I didn’t remember him having any males on staff.
“Um…hi. Doctor Miller at the gate for, uh, Mr. Cramer.”
“Oh, hey, Tamryn. It’s Osric. I was just on my way out when I heard the intercom buzz. Come on in. I’m done with Holden. He’s out on the back patio. I’ll leave the door unlocked and the system off. He’s expecting you.”
Now I felt foolish. He sounded so different through the intercom, though we had only spoken on the phone previously. A loud electronic buzz sounded, and the huge wrought iron gate swung inwards. I saw Osric jogging to his Toyota parked on the other side of the circular drive. He waved as he got in. I stuck a hand out the window and waved back and then pulled up as close as I could to the door.
Once I had everything I needed from the car, I entered the house. Given the open-concept floorplan, I could see the back of Holden’s head and shoulders through the sliding glass doors as he raised a hand and scrubbed at his hair, squeezing the nape of his neck. The sun glinted off the crystal waters of the pool and shone light beams and rainbows on the perfectly manicured shrubs. I didn’t think he had heard me yet, so I decided to take advantage of his preoccupation with his thoughts and get things set up.
I moved into th
e theatre and took stock of what he had. Ironically, the gaming system I had brought was the only one he didn’t have on hand. I wondered if maybe he had it in one of the other rooms. I couldn’t imagine that a guy like Holden Cramer wouldn’t have the best of everything money could buy, especially when it came to this type of entertainment. Seeing that it wasn’t readily available, however, I was glad that I had brought mine over. I set it up quickly, moved around some furniture, and took stock.
Good deal.
I’d grabbed things for dinner that I normally would have told my guys to avoid at all costs, but today was a day for breaking the rules. I’d also picked up a sampler pack of microbrews, but I wouldn’t allow Holden to have any if he’d had his meds. I needed to ask him how long ago he’d taken the last dose. Given that I didn’t want to temp him if he couldn’t have it, I put the box in the fridge. The colder, the better, anyway.
Once everything was set out, I took a deep breath and focused outside again. Holden was still sitting with his back to me, but now his hand was in his lap, his head tipped back as he faced the sky, eyes closed. I carefully walked closer to the door. At first glance, it appeared as if he were relaxing in the sunshine, but upon closer inspection, I could see the lines of strain on his face and the downward tip of his lips.
I steeled myself and slid open the door. At the sound, he immediately turned his head, taking me in. I took a moment to take in the blue of his eyes, set off beautifully by the tartan button-down he wore.
“Hey,” I said, and took a seat on the lounger next to him.
He quirked his lips. “Hey, yourself. Nice day.”
I couldn’t help but chuff a laugh. “That it is. So, now that we’ve covered the weather, what do you want to talk about next? The Orioles’ chances for the World Series?”
He tipped his head back and forth. “Nah, why waste our time? They’re terrible.”
I couldn’t help but laugh for real at that. They really were. “So…how are you feeling today?”
Holden scrubbed a hand through his spiky hair again. “I’m all right. Pain’s…meh. Going a little stir-crazy, though.”
I smoothed my ponytail. “Understandable. How was the session with Osric?”
He looked at me then, his crystalline gaze hitting me like a shot to the heart. “Fine,” he said, and then looked out across the yard again.
“Man of many words today, I see. I was hoping after all the times you ignored me, you’d have saved some up.” I smiled and saw the corner of his lip tip up. “Have you talked to anybody else from the team?”
He scratched at the scruff on his cheek, clearly uncomfortable. “No. Aside from those I was required to check in with. A bunch of the guys called and texted, but I haven’t gotten back to them yet. I did talk with my buddy Will, though.”
I placed a hand on his elbow on the arm of the wheelchair. “That’s great, Holden. But you need a bigger support system right now. Talk to your friends.”
“Why?” He turned his hot gaze back on me, a light flashing in his eyes now that hadn’t been there before. “It’s not like they can understand. And I don’t need it rubbed in my face that I’m not there with them right now. I need to get better. I need to get back on the field.”
“Holden—” Before I could even finish, he jerked his wheelchair around and buzzed back into the house, leaving me there staring at his back. I followed him in and met him near the kitchen island. “Holden. You know that playing again isn’t an option, right? And even if you aren’t on the field right now, you’re still part of the team.”
He spun to face me, a water bottle that I had seen on the counter in hand. “Yeah, so I keep hearing. Honestly it just feels like bullshit.” He took a gulp of the water. “You know what? I don’t want to talk about this right now. What’s up for today, Doc?”
I’d let him change the subject this time. But we would have a more in-depth conversation about this. And soon. I’d said today was about having fun, though. Getting to know each other better. With that in mind, I let it go and figured I’d try to lighten the mood and get his mind off his misery. At least for a little while.
“When was the last time you had your meds?”
“Listen, doc. If you’re going to hound me for hours, then maybe you should le—”
“Whoa,”—I held up my hands—“hold on there, Mr. Grumpypants. I’m asking for a very important reason.”
He checked his watch. “About four hours ago, give or take.”
I smiled. “Perfect. I asked because I brought over a variety six-pack of some local microbrews, and you couldn’t have any if you just had your meds. We’ll forgo your next dose for a bit, if you’re okay with that. I’m not being a very good doctor right now, but we won’t tell anyone, will we?”
A genuine light entered his expression, and I could almost see the ice cracking a bit. “Beer, huh? You don’t strike me as a brew kinda girl.”
I smirked and walked past him to the fridge. Brandishing two bottles, I said, “And that’s precisely why we’re having this day. So you can find out just what kind of person I am and maybe learn to trust me with some things. Until we have trust, the healing can’t completely happen, Holden. So…wings, beer, mac ‘n’ cheese, some other stuff that we probably shouldn’t have, and a surprise for later. Now, let’s eat. I’m starving. And since I’ll be stuffing my face, no more badgering. I promise.”
Chapter 9
Holden
The woman was a shark. Seriously, six games into Madden, and she was beating me four to two. For some ungodly reason, she’d decided to play as Miami. Originally, I’d given her shit that she only picked them because she liked the pretty uniforms and the cute mascot, but she’d quickly proven me wrong. With the personnel choices she made, using the team’s more mobile and versatile rookie QB—who wasn’t even a starter yet in real life—and her decisions with play-calling, she was kicking my ass. And I played as myself!
I groaned as her wide receiver high-stepped it in for yet another touchdown.
“Boom!” she yelled before exploding her hands and dropping her controller to the rug as if it were a microphone. “In your face.”
I could only shake my head. Not only was she freaking good, she was a smack-talker and loved to rub it in my face when she outplayed me. I had to admit, it was pretty hot. Made even hotter by the fact that she’d gotten warm while we played. She now wore only one of her signature form-fitting tank tops and skinny jeans, a sliver of skin peeking above her waistband. Her feet were bare, her purple painted toes curled into the shag. She had a tattoo of a football made up of a fingerprint on her left shoulder blade, and I made a mental note to ask her about it later.
I shook my head to clear my thoughts. “How about some humble pie for dessert, doc?”
“Hey, if you can back it up, why not revel in the greatness?” She brushed imaginary lint off her shoulders, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“You haven’t won yet. Slow your roll.” I made sure everything was ready for my offense to accept the kickoff.
“Oh, my roll will be slow, all right. Right into that victory formation in about five minutes. Just you wait.” She picked up her controller and made the changes needed on D.
After a ridiculously quick three and out that had me ashamed, she was back on offense. Her running back lined up behind center, and I knew she was running a wildcat. I saw it and made a play, but instead of making a cut and a run for the endzone as I’d expected, she dropped back and executed a perfect pass.
Not to the quarterback or another running back or even a wideout, but to her friggin’ fullback. How he even got over there and open, I couldn’t say.
“Fuck, yes!” she yelled, and stood up to do a little dance, snaking her upper body and then doing some sort of booty pop followed by a fist pump and a twirl. Until she caught her toe on the rug and went tumbling.
Right into me. And onto my lap. Thank goodness the brake lock on the chair was automatic.
Pain shot up my leg mo
mentarily from the foot, but the feel of her against me distracted me enough to ignore it.
My good arm instantly wrapped around her to steady her, and hers caged me in on the chair. Her face was inches from mine. So close, I could smell the beer and wings on her breath and the coconut scent of her shampoo. If I wanted to, I only had to move an inch or two to kiss her. And my hormones definitely wanted that.
We stayed that way for a moment that felt like an eternity, neither of us breaking eye contact. I saw her pupils dilate and heard her breath catch before she seemed to snap back to reality.
“Geezus. I’m sorry. Are you okay?” she asked as she patted me down. If she kept touching me like that, I wouldn’t be responsible for my actions. I was only human, after all.
She stilled, likely having noticed my very human nature given the way our lower bodies were connected. I grabbed her wrist gently in my good hand and smiled. “Doc, I’m fine. Are you okay?”
She pulled away slightly, but I didn’t let her get far. “I’m good,” she said, and met my eyes again. I could feel the heat of her against me, surrounding me, and I couldn’t have stopped myself if I tried. I let go of her wrist and cupped her nape, taking her lips like a man starved.
Only a moment’s hesitation passed before she melted into me and returned the kiss with just as much fervor. We took from each other as if we’d done it a thousand times, and my mind blanked. This woman was everything. I’d never been so enamored before, so utterly captivated. It was almost enough to make me forget myself.
Almost.
I ended the embrace with one last sweep of my tongue, savoring her flavor, and then pressed a final kiss to her lips. She looked a little dazed, and I couldn’t help but feel a bit of pride at that.
Blue Forty-Two: A Quick Snap Novella Page 4