I know I’ve had those thoughts. Taking him home to meet my family would go over very badly. I feel the same way about him taking me to meet his parents, who I think should’ve never been allowed to have a kid in the first place. Maybe he and I aren’t meant to be together.
Maybe there’s someone else in the world meant for him. A woman with tons of patience and empathy. A woman who can help him work on his demons. A woman who will be everything to him, the way I wouldn’t allow.
What’s wrong with me?
I had a chance to be with a gorgeous, muscle-bound, nearly perfect specimen of male anatomy and I stood on my high morals, refusing to give him the one thing he needed from me. Everyone at work thinks I’m an idiot. Not just a little one either, a huge idiot who has blown her chance with a man who could buy and sell this entire town.
With Cyprian missing, I Googled him and found out he’s beyond wealthy. He’s uber-rich. A multi-billionaire, who’s highly respected in the business world.
I saw picture after picture of him with his colleges. Some of whom are women and he didn’t look like a man-whore at all. He looked like he treated them with respect. It was a thing I didn’t see in him.
It was my misfortune to have judged him before I really knew him. I saw him as a womanizer and nothing more than that. I saw him as a man I needed to guard myself against.
And now it’s most likely too late to let him know I was wrong. I was wrong for withholding my affection. I was wrong for trying to make him be someone he wasn’t. I was wrong on so many levels, it’s not even funny.
Suddenly, my train of thought is broken as his gate comes up. I jog in place as I look at it and can see the house that looms far back off the road.
Fuck it!
I jog up to the security box and tap in the code, 696969. Only to find it buzzing at me. The code’s been changed!
Hurrying away, I have no want for him to see me on his camera, I see now is at the gate, pointing in my direction. What an idiot I feel like!
He’s changed the code, no doubt to keep me out. He has moved on, that’s obvious. I have to do something to get him out of my mind. Something huge!
Maybe I will accept the next date that’s offered to me. I have to do something to get him out my head. He’s made a place there and even in my heart. I have to do something to move him out. He’s moved me out of where ever I was in his head.
Could he have a girlfriend? Could he have found a woman more compatible with him and left me behind? Did I let that happen to me? To us?
Have I been a fool…
Chapter 7
CYPRIAN
The week has been long as I’ve had to drive by the store Cami works at each night, knowing she’s there as I see her Mustang parked at the side of the store. But Tabitha and I have talked every day about how I need to guard myself against everyone right now. I’ve followed her advice and only texted my parents that I still need time away from them to get my head on straight.
It’s Wednesday and Tabitha is doing a workshop with my staff. It was my idea and no one was really on board with it. I had to insist, though. I need people around me who understand how I need things to be.
I’m waiting for the workshop to end as I invited Tabitha to stay at my place for the night instead of putting her up in a hotel room. She was kind enough to open her home to me and others like me, I can repay the favor.
The door to the meeting room opens and my employees come out. It’s nine at night and most of them seem to be impatient to get out of here. They all give me smiles and nods as they file past me but no one says anything.
Finally, Tabitha comes out, looking happy and radiating positive energy the way she always does. Her blonde bobbed hair is bouncing as she nods at me. “It went fantastic! Thank you for setting this up. I do believe your staff has been brought to the light, Cyprian!”
My secretary, Mrs. Peterson, looks over her shoulder at me and then at Tabitha then looks away. I didn’t see new beginnings in her brown eyes. I saw concern. Why would she be concerned?
Tabitha links her arm with mine and allows me to escort her out of the office. “I’m sure some of them get it and some don’t. That’s how things go. Like you say, we are all on different levels.”
“That we are, Cyprian. And I think I can help you tonight with your situation with the Camilla woman. Do you think she’ll be at work? I think it’s essential for your recuperation if I meet her. I’d like to gauge her true persona. I fear you might have only been taking her at face value and thinking her beauty means she’s a good person. Which hardly ever means that. Most beautiful women are hard-hearted.”
“Surely, you don’t really believe that Tabitha,” I say as we get to the car. Ashton opens the back door of the town-car, and I let her get in first.
When I get in, I find her frowning at me. “I know it to be true. You see, Cyprian, many men are easy targets for women of beauty.”
“You’re beautiful, yourself, Tabitha. Are you saying you have used that to hurt men?” I ask her as I watch her light blue eyes dance.
“I have.” She looks me in the eyes. “As old as I am, do you really think I’m beautiful?”
With a nod, I say, “I do. You are beautiful. A glow radiates within you. You’re a beautiful woman, inside and out. I am privileged to know you.”
She laughs a bit. “And I, you. You handsome devil.”
Her hand runs over the top of mine and she takes my hand and holds it. “Do you need some of my positive energy?” I ask her as she told us at the retreat about the different ways we can share our energy and receive it. Holding hands, hugs, and things of that nature are perfect ways to receive positive energy and give some away as well.
“I am in need of some,” she says. “You see, I am going to need all I can get, so I can stay positive when I meet this woman who has motivated you to make changes in yourself. I’m afraid she will see my work with you as a threat.”
“I don’t see why she would,” I say. “We aren’t a couple. That was her doing. Well, my messing around had everything to do with that but still, she never saw fit to accept my apology and give me another chance. I don’t think she wants me. I believe the damage I did is irreversible. It’s a thing I am working on accepting. Something I did caused such a reaction it must’ve dissolved any feelings she was growing for me.”
She looks away then back at me. “I hope you’re right.”
I’m a bit stunned by her words. I hope I’m wrong!
“Please just do me a favor and hold tight to my hand or maybe even put your arm around me, to lend me your positive energy, so I can handle my reaction to her. After what you’ve told me about her, I’m finding it hard to like her. I want to like her.”
“I don’t hold what she’s said to me against her. Neither should you,” I say as I don’t understand her right now.
“I’ve come to care about you, Cyprian. You are a rare gem of a person. Your father and mother, I can understand why they did, what they did with you. They were unaware of what they were doing, after all. I feel, Camilla is very aware of what she was doing to you. Withholding sex to make you do what she wanted you to. It’s a manipulation some women use on men.”
“Well, I don’t think she was trying to manipulate me by doing that. She has good morals. She wanted to be in love first. I can see her point. It’s pretty respectable.”
“And outdated. And out of the question once she knew about your circumstances of having so much sex since you were only fifteen-years-old. She should’ve been more supportive of what your needs were instead of making you feel immoral for them. And she is a scientist as well. An educated person, who should know going cold turkey on anything, rarely works. So, please do hold her accountable for what she’s said and done. You have to, for your own self-preservation.”
I don’t say it out loud but I don’t think I can hold her accountable for doing what she did. She was trying to preserve her own morals, after all. But I have no want to argue with Tabitha.
“I’ll try my best.”
She pulls our clasped hands up to her heart. “That’s all you can do, Cyprian.” Then she kisses my hand and lays our clasped hands back on the seat between us.
As we near the convenience store, my body starts to sweat and my heart starts to pound. Seeing Cami, after almost three weeks is going to be hard. Because I think I’ll want to throw my arms around her and ask her for more than she can give me right now.
And more than I can give her as well…
Chapter 8
CAMILLA
The store is dead at nearly ten on a Wednesday night and I am bored out of my mind as I’ve gotten everything on the to-do list, done. I let Mary, the older woman I was working with tonight, go home early. Her back hurt and there’s no reason to keep two people here with no customers and all the work done.
Leaning on the counter, I look out the window and think about closing early and wondering if that would get me fired. Most likely it would.
A black car pulls up right in front and my heart skips a beat. “Cyprian!” I wait to see if it is him, which I’m pretty sure it is.
The door opens and he gets out and I find myself wanting to run to him and grab him up in a hug. Walking around the counter, I freeze and walk backward to get back behind it. He has a woman with him and they’re holding hands.
Tears burn the back of my eyes, making me blink them like crazy to get rid of the shininess that has to be going on in them. The chirp of the door opening has me taking a deep breath to steady my nerves which are overloaded. “Hello, Cyprian,” I say with a shaky voice.
“Cami, how are you?” he asks as he lets the woman’s hand go and puts his arm around her. “This is Tabitha. She’s helping me to make some much-needed changes in myself. She’s been a Godsend.”
“Good,” I say but I find myself not meaning it. “So, you are feeling better about yourself then. That’s fantastic. Nice to meet you, Tabitha.”
She extends her hand and I shake it, feeling her hand tight on mine. “Camilla, I wanted to meet you. Cyprian has told me every last detail about your little fling.”
Fling!
“Is that what he called it?” I ask, instantly pissed.
“No,” he says. “I didn’t call it that. What we had was much more than a fling. It was ill-timed, though. I wasn’t the man you needed.”
“Nor were you the woman he needed,” she says.
I want to scream at her but I don’t. “I suppose I wasn’t. I was wanting to speak with Cyprian, in private, to talk to him about the harsh things I’ve said to him and apologize for them. His past was a thing I didn’t take into consideration when I spouted the hateful things I did. I was hurt and I struck out at him. I’ve felt terrible about that.”
“For how long?” Tabitha asks me.
“What?” I ask as she’s confusing me.
“He told me he came to see you every night after he got off work for a week. He apologized over and over to you and you sent him away each and every night, making him feel like a deplorable human being,” she says as she looks at me as if she’s an attorney wanting her client to get a much better apology than what I gave him.
“Look, lady, I really don’t have to explain myself to you. Cyprian and I can talk later, in private.”
She holds her hand up, stopping me. “No, you won’t. I’m staying with him tonight and I’ve counseled him about you. He’s much too raw for you two to talk alone at the moment. You have a tendency to be abrasive with him and I simply cannot allow it.”
My eyes leave her and go to Cyprian, who is looking more than a bit sheepish. “Is that how you want it, Cyprian?”
He nods then looks down. “Tabitha is a smart woman.”
“I can see that. I can see she’s got you by the reins.” I cross my arms over my chest because I can see right through the woman.
She looks young at a glance but when I look hard at her, I can see the lines at the corners of her eyes. I’m sure she’s in her late forties or so and she has a gleam in her eye for Cyprian. Of that I am sure!
He looks at Tabitha, who he still has his arm around. “Since you’re right here, do you think she and I could talk alone for a moment? Perhaps in the back?” he asks her.
Her head shakes as she looks at him and runs her hand over his cheek. “Cyprian, you are much too fragile.”
“Ha!” I laugh. “He’s not fragile. He is a strong man. I’ve never seen him like this and quite frankly, I don’t like it.” I walk around the counter and find her moving in front of him.
“No, you cannot be alone with him right now. I was afraid of this.” She looks back at Cyprian. “We need to leave now.”
He nods and backs out the door as if I’m a terrorist, trying to get to him. “Cyprian, call me later. Please.”
His eyes bore into mine as she backs him up. “He will not be calling you. I can see it in your eyes. You are not the woman he thinks you are. You are a selfish and manipulative woman. Out to get his money, most likely. Hence the reason you withheld sex until you forced him to find some love for you in his heart, thus trapping him, eventually into a marriage.”
I look at Cyprian. “She’s nuts and you know that. Call me, Cyprian. I care about you. I miss you. And I’m worried about you. Call me.”
He’s pushed out the door, still looking at me. It’s obvious she’s using her expertise as a con artist to get to him. My heart is pounding and I find myself following them outside. She has him in the back before I can get to him and it has me madder than I ever recall being. Even when I caught him with those escorts!
She will not get away with this…
Chapter 9
CYPRIAN
My head is spinning as we walk into my house. “I would like to talk to her, Tabitha.”
She takes my hand and pulls me along with her. “Show me your home, Cyprian. We can have some wine. You need to forget about that woman. She is bad for you. I fear she is the reason for your mental breakdown.”
“I wouldn’t call it a mental breakdown. I simply wanted to be a better person, Tabitha.” I stop and she has to stop with me.
“Show me to my room first, please.” Her eyes sparkle at me.
Ashton walks in with her suitcase. “I’ll take this up there too.”
She shakes her head. “It’s fine. Leave it by the door. I’ll take it up later, Ashton. Be a dear and leave us alone. I need to help Cyprian through what looks as if it might turn into a crisis if I don’t intervene with some drastic actions.”
I look at Ashton who gives me a frown. “You sure about this, sir?”
“What?” Tabitha asks as she shoos him out the door. “This man is safer with me than anyone who is currently in his life. Goodbye. See you tomorrow. If I leave then. He may need my help for a while.”
He looks at me again. “Sir, are you absolutely sure about this?”
Tabitha looks back at me and puts her hand on her hip. “Cyprian, will you tell him you’re sure?”
I nod my answer and he turns and leaves me but I can tell he doesn’t want to. My hand is snatched up again and then she runs my arm around her waist. “Okay, I’ll show you where your room is, Tabitha. I suppose you’d like to freshen up.”
We go upstairs and she notices the many doors up here. “Which room is yours?”
I gesture to my door and she smiles. Then I walk all the way to the end of the hallway and catch her frowning. “Why so far away from yours, Cyprian?”
“For your privacy,” I say. “I want you to feel like you have some.” I open the door and stay at it while gesturing for her to go inside. “Here you go. I’ll be downstairs in the main living area at the bottom of the stairs when you get done.”
She takes both of my hands and pulls me into the room with her. “Cyprian, we need to talk. I can see you need more help from me. You’ll fall back down that rabbit hole, that is Camilla Petit, if I don’t do something drastic.”
“You keep saying that.” I look at her and wonder what the fuck,
drastic, means.
“It means, you are in need of some physical help. I need to help your energy field with some skin on skin touching. I am not effectively filling you with positive energy with hand holding or even by putting your arms around me. You are searching for the negative, which is Camilla Petit, to fill you again. I need to fill you with some of my positive energy.”
“Skin to skin,” I ask as that sounds kind of like she wants to be naked with me.
She takes a step back and begins to unbutton her sheer tan shirt that covers a brown camisole top. “Take off your clothes, Cyprian. I need to hold you, skin to skin, to deliver a good dose of my positive vibes to you. You’re in desperate need of them.”
“I can’t do that, Tabitha.” I shake my head as she continues to undress in front of me.
“You can, Cyprian. It’s merely one human being helping another. I’ve done this on occasion with some of my other patients. It works wonders. Like I said, I will stay with you until I see an improvement on your handle on how you want to live your new life.” By the time she’s done talking, she’s standing, stark naked, in front of me, holding her arms open. “If you’re unsure of how much it will help you, hug me with your clothes on and mine off and see how good it feels. See how much better you feel.”
I’m frozen and unsure about any of this. But she steps forward and takes my hands, placing them on her ass as she hugs me tight. “Tabitha.”
“Shh. No talking. Close your eyes and feel the energy I’m sending to you. My entire body is sending you positive energy.”
I do as she says since I’m not naked and try to feel the energy she’s sending me. She was right on the other occasions. Holding hands with others and hugging them did help me feel more positive energy.
After a few minutes of her holding me, she lets me go and looks at me then unbuttons my shirt. I take her hand, stopping her. “Tabitha, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Nonsense,” she says. “I can still feel the negative coming from you.” She quickly takes my shirt off and puts her body back in my arms and places my hands on her ass again. “Give my cheeks a good squeeze. Think of them like the stress balls I gave you all at the retreat. Use them to ease your tension.”
The Reconstruction of Cyprian Page 12