by Smoke, Lucy
"I have to work on Saturday and I'm babysitting this Sunday and I have school Monday. How are you going to teach me self-defense?"
Bellamy was already shaking his head before I finished, but before he could reply, Texas spoke up. "You're not going to work tomorrow – I texted Alex and asked him if he could get Joanna or someone to cover your shift. Babysitting shouldn't be too stressful. We want you to chill for a little bit before you jump in with us. As for school, we'll send someone to pick you up after you get out. You're only going for the next week anyway."
"I have a few days the next week too," I argued.
"You're not going," he said matter-of-factly.
"What do you mean I'm not going?" I felt my brows puckering, creating a slight V between them.
Texas answered. "Most of your final exams are scheduled for next week. We've bumped up your World history exam. You'll likely need to take some of your exams during your lunch period, but it's done so that all of them should be over with by Friday."
"What?!" I jerked away. "You can't do that?! The school–how did you–why–you didn't even ask me!"
I didn't have time to study for all of my exams this weekend. I still needed to finish the book for my English paper. There was so much to do. Panic flared.
"Hey, hey!" Texas redirected my flustered attention. "It's okay, calm down. I'm pretty good at the school thing. I can help you study."
"Help me study?" I slapped my forehead. "What about my paper? What about work after school next week? Work!" They had changed my work schedule too. "You can't just take away my shifts, I need those shifts!"
"Don't worry about it, we've got it covered," Bellamy replied lazily.
Don't worry about it?! I thought.
"I need the money, you jerk!" I slapped his chest. "I need to call Alex." I held out a hand. "Let me use your phone."
"Nope." He reclined back in Texas' bed.
I calculated the chances of getting away with murder.
"Knix!" I screamed.
Bellamy shot up. "Fuck, come on, Harlow." Panic bloomed over his face. "It's not a big deal, calm down."
"Don't tell me to calm down," I snapped. "Knix!"
"Why are you freaking out, Bell? Who is she going to get you in trouble with?" I wanted to punch Texas, but the heavy thud of resonating footsteps stopped me. The door swung open and Knix stood on the other side, his expression filled with concern.
"What's going on in here?"
"Nothing," Bellamy replied quickly.
"They changed my schedule, got rid of my work shifts, and won't let me call Alex to fix anything," I corrected with a glare Bellamy's way.
Texas was lucky he was on the other side of the room or else I would have included him in my irritation.
Knix visibly relaxed. "Oh, that's it?"
Bellamy relaxed.
"That's it? Is that not enough?!" When the childish urge to stomp my foot rose, I didn't ignore it. I slapped my foot on the floor of Texas' bedroom as I stood and whirled in a circle, pointing at both Texas and Bellamy. "Do something!"
Bellamy laughed, at first shaky and then with more power. "Yeah, it's not a big deal. Even Knix thinks so."
"Not a big deal?!" I practically shrieked.
"Hey, hey, hey." Marv's voice sounded from behind Knix. "What's everyone yelling about?"
I pivoted as Marv slid around Knix's body and into the room. "Take me home, right now."
He held up both hands. "Whoa, okay." He glanced at Bellamy. "What did you do?"
"What did I – why does everyone blame me?" Bellamy pointed to Texas. "What if it was him?"
"Fair point," Marv replied, looking to Texas. Instead of asking again, though, he merely raised one aristocratic eyebrow.
"She's mad about missing work," Texas supplied.
"It's not about missing work," I corrected, fuming. "It's about the fact that I have bills to pay and you can't just–"
Marv pursed his lips and waved a hand to stop me. "We took care of that."
"You what?" A dull throb bloomed at the back of my head.
Knix spoke. "Your rent and utilities are paid for up until the job ends. You can make a decision then: go back home, work for Alex – you know he would never fire you – or you can work with us and maybe go to college if you like."
“You paid my bills?” I asked, shocked. He nodded. “Why?”
The look he gave me was unreadable. “Call it faith,” he said. “I think you’re smart enough to know a good opportunity when it’s presented to you. If you don’t believe me, I’d be happy to have Texas send you documents of proof.”
I shook my head, but not to say no. I didn't feel like I was in a room with guys who had enough money – money that I would have worked almost forty hours a week just to break even – to pay for all of the bills my mom and I needed to pay like it was nothing, but I was.
"Can I go home please?" My voice was much quieter. It felt strange going from yelling to virtually whispering in the matter of minutes. It unnerved me how much it reminded me of my mom's mood swings. I needed to get back and check on her.
"Harlow?" Texas stood and reached out, but I shuffled away.
"I'm sorry, this is just a lot to take in. I need to think about it and I'm tired. I want to go home."
I scanned the room, looking for a clock. How late was it? One of the computer monitors on the corner tables was a black screen saver that bounced a digital clock around the surface. That and the darkness outside Texas' window told me it was past time to go.
I heard Knix sigh before he pointed to Marv. "You take her home. Make sure she has a way to contact us if she needs to." He dropped his hand and turned, studying me. "Call us if you need anything. I mean that, Harlow. Anything." I nodded. "Get some sleep and if you show up at Alex's Diner tomorrow, please know that I'll be there to take you right back home. You need to study for your exams."
I didn't have the energy to argue.
Marv asked me to give him a few minutes to get ready and I agreed, sitting back down on the bed. Everyone filed out except for Texas, who remained behind, choosing instead to go back to his monitors. He rifled through a box under the tables and pulled out various tech parts before going back in and retrieving a small, square, black box. He fiddled with the late model android phone he had pulled out of a drawer earlier. I only recognized it because it was similar to one Erika had owned.
After fiddling with it for a few more minutes, Texas pressed a button on the side and held it until the screen lit up. I waited patiently for several moments as he typed away and scrolled through the phone. He grabbed the papers he had printed earlier and began writing notes, scribbling something across the pages.
These guys were strange, a compilation of rich and elegant to earthy. Their styles were so different. Even though Marv and Texas looked similar in many aspects – their piano fingers, their dark hair, their black and white movie good looks – they were like night and day. Texas' room was clean overall, but there were clothes spilling from his closet that revealed worn jeans, khaki board shorts, and faded t-shirts. Marv appeared more put together, immaculately dressed at all times.
Bellamy looked just as handsome in a suit as Marv did, but he, too, was a contrast. They obviously had similar tastes in cars if Bellamy's care for the BMW was something to go by. Out of all of them, Knix seemed to be even more out of place. A tech nerd, a rich boy, an earthy but keen car lover, and then the leader. That's what Knix was, though no one had said so. He called the shots. I didn't miss the way they deferred to him. Who was he? Who were they?
"Okay," Texas announced, halting my inner thoughts. He pushed his chair back and came to stand in front of me, handing me the phone. "This is yours. I've already installed all of our phone numbers as your contacts as well as the number for Alex's Diner and his personal number." He paused, pointing to a few buttons on the screen. "We're all on speed dial. Knix is one, Marv is two, Bellamy is three, and I'm four. Alex is five, call him if you can't get ahold of us."
He shrugged. "Knix said to make sure you could reach us. It's got unlimited texting and minutes, but I would be careful about data. Our plan has a good amount, but the four of us already use a lot and we're trying to cut back."
"You're all on the same plan?"
Was that normal for people who no longer lived with their families? Maybe it was cheaper. I held the phone in my hand and I really wanted to hand it back. I didn't need it. I had existed and lived just fine without one, even though I felt like an outsider in my own school. I didn't know a lot about social media, just what I got from Erika. But holding the phone, warm from Texas' hand, felt safe.
"Yup and now you are, too," he said. I stared at the screen and he sighed. "Just say thank you, Harlow."
I blinked. "Thank you."
Texas gave me a brilliant smile. "You're welcome. Now, come on, Marv is probably done talking to Knix now." I followed him out into the living room where Marv was, in fact, done talking with Knix who was cleaning up the pizza mess. Bellamy was gone.
"Ready?" Marv stood by the front door, waiting.
"Uh huh." The phone was a new weight in my pocket but not a burden. I tried dissecting my confused emotions as I trailed behind Marv, into the tenant elevator and then out into the parking lot, only to give up when it became impossible.
"You okay?" Marv stood just outside of the passenger side door. He had it open and was waiting on me.
"Oh, yeah, thanks."
I slid into the leather interior and he peered at me for a moment more before closing the door with a solid push. I scrutinized him as he crossed around the front end, surveying the way he moved, standing tall, comfortable in his own skin.
When he got in and started the car, backing out of the parking spot, I continued to watch him closely, under my lashes as I pretended to pick at my nails and the fabric of my shirt. He never once extended his hand towards the radio, so it was left silent and the lack of background noise made me all the more aware of how close he was. I pushed my legs up against the backpack I had left sitting on the passenger floorboards.
"Is your mom going to ask where you've been?" It took me a moment to realize that he'd asked me a question, I was so focused on his physicality and the way he moved.
"Oh, um, maybe." I bit my lip. "It depends on if she's awake or not." It also depended on if she was coherent or not.
"I understand she has some medical issues?" His voice tilted slightly up at the end as if he were clarifying an answer he already knew by turning the statement into a question.
"How did you – never mind." I was the one stopping myself this time. It shouldn't surprise me anymore. They likely knew my entire life story. I would like to know how, but my guess was Texas. He was the tech guy. "Yes, she does."
"That must be hard." I shrugged in response. "Her records said that she has...what is it? Bipolar disorder as well? I've heard that can be difficult by itself."
"She didn't really know she had it until later in life. She wasn't diagnosed right away." I picked at a thread on the hem of my shirt.
"How is she?"
"She has good days and bad days." Really bad days. But that was likely normal with her medication. I often found that she would skip several days in a row of taking her medication. I was away so much with work and school sometimes I feared coming home and finding her lifeless body. It was a nightmare that had ruined more than a few nights of sleep.
"Do you have those too?"
"Do I have what?"
"Good days and bad days," he replied.
I twisted my body to lean against the seat and stare openly. "Doesn't everyone?"
"What do they look like?"
"My good days and bad days?" I clarified.
He nodded.
"Well, I suppose my good days look just like this except without the weird guys carting me around the city, stealing me from school and such." He smirked. "My bad days happen when bills come in and I have to sit down and count how much I made and how much I get for groceries and how I'm going to get to the store. It gives me a headache and it just stresses me out. But loads of people go through that, so it's not as bad as it could be."
I didn't consider why I was telling him this. I wasn't usually so open. The conversation died down as he concentrated on driving while I gave up my concentration of him and listened to the quiet hum of the engine instead. The rhythmic beat of the car flying over the road lulled me and I found myself gazing out the window, staring at passing trees and cars and signs.
Something occurred to me. "Do I need to tell you where to go?" I flipped back over, sitting sideways in the seat again. Marv had both hands on the wheel, conscientious.
The closer corner of his mouth lifted slightly. He was even more stunning when he smiled. "No."
I sighed and pressed the button to slide the window down an inch or so to let in fresh air. Within the next few minutes, he flicked the blinker and pulled off on the exit closest to my house. The lights of the BMW flashed across the front entrance of my neighborhood and then again across the darkened duplexes and dirty mailboxes that lined the streets. I supposed it undoubtedly looked like a rundown community, but it was actually one of the nicest, safest places my mom and I had ever lived.
Marv parked the BMW and walked around to open my door again. It wasn't unheard of, the kind of gentlemanly behavior that he and the other guys exhibited was different, but it wasn't something I was used to.
"I'll come by tomorrow to take you to school. Bright and early, Sunshine." I took his proffered hand.
"Tomorrow's Saturday," I reminded him.
He shrugged, the dress shirt stretching over his shoulders under the pristine jacket. "Then I'll come by tomorrow morning for a study session."
"I don't know, my mom isn't used to strangers." I hesitated on the corner of the street.
Could I call the whole thing off and tell them to put my life back in order before tomorrow? Likely not. Did I want them to? Frankly, I wanted things to be different. I had always wished for it and the idea of sending them away and never seeing them again made my chest clench up and start to ache.
"–promised Knix I would," Marv was saying.
"How about meeting at the diner?" I suggested.
He tilted his head, considering me quietly. "I can do that," he said, nodding slowly. "Be there by 9 am."
I sighed, but agreed to the time. I waved him back to the car and hurried to the front of my building. He frowned, but reopened the driver's side door, watching me over the top. The lights illuminated the outside of my duplex and front hall until I closed the front door behind me and locked it. I peered from behind the curtains of the window next to the door as Marv put the BMW in reverse and backed out.
"Harlow?" My mom's croaking voice reached me and I turned, padding across the floor as a soft meow echoed behind me, followed by a light scratching of the wooden surface. Cleo came around the corner of the hallway, meowing once again and I realized she must need to go to the bathroom and was likely hungry again.
"Hey, sweet girl." I bent down and scratched behind one ear while she meowed again. "Give me a minute and I'll take care of you, okay?" I released her and moved to the open doorway of my mom's bedroom.
She laid like an exhausted queen among her pillows. The room was still relatively clean after I had cleaned up from the mess before, meaning that today had been a good day and she hadn't suffered any episodes while I had been gone. Her eyes met mine when I entered and she smiled sweetly, so different from the woman I often came home to; the one who was angry at the world, paranoid, and in pain. This woman was my real mom.
"Hey, Mom, sorry I was out so late." I sat on the edge of her bed. She lifted a frail hand towards me and I grabbed it, kissing her knuckles. "Are you hungry? Have you eaten? I can make you something?"
She shook her head. "I had some of the soup you left me in the fridge. I'm sorry about the other day." She frowned, her eyes glistening. "These episodes are getti
ng so bad, I can't control them. Maybe something else is wrong."
"It's okay, I understand. It wasn't really you." I pressed my lips to the skin of her knuckles. Even wrinkled and spotted, I cared for them because they were the hands that had fed me as a child, tucked me in, and cared for me.
"I love you, Baby girl."
"I love you, too, Mom." I sighed and let her hand fall back to the duvet. "You have a doctor's appointment coming up. I'll be babysitting for Mrs. Grace again and she's taking you to the appointment. Have you been taking your medication?"
"I don't know, Baby. Sometimes, I do. Sometimes, I think I already have and I'm scared of taking too much on accident. It's likely what's causing these episodes. I'll talk to the doctor about it."
"Okay." I rubbed the back of neck with my hand and stood up. "I'm gonna go and clean up a bit before bed."
"Who were you with tonight?"
"Just a friend." I leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Get some rest. I love you, Mom."
"Night, Baby," she said as I reached the doorway.
"Night, Mom."
I gently eased the door closed behind me before moving down the hall to let Cleo out for some bathroom time. I didn't have the money to get her a proper litter box, so it was unsurprising that I found a few wet spots throughout the kitchen and hallway. I cleaned up as best I could and then laid out some old papers throughout the kitchen, hoping that if she had to go again in the middle of the night or tomorrow when I was gone, she'd do it there. By the time my head hit my pillow, I was more than ready to sink into oblivion.
Chapter 8
Alex's Diner was filled for the Saturday morning rush. Normally, I would have been among the waitresses rushing around with trays of coffee and eggs, but not this morning. I spotted Marv sitting at the counter talking to Alex. He was dressed down for the morning in a pair of slick, black slacks and a light-blue button-down rolled up to his elbows. There was a light smattering of stubble on his chin and jaw line as if he hadn't shaved in the twelve hours since I had last seen him. I liked him like this, I decided, still dressed up, but more casual. He appeared more approachable.