by Smoke, Lucy
Grayson scoffed. “Yeah, because you don’t have shit for brains and no money either.”
“Grayson!” I couldn’t do this anymore. I’d had enough. Turning sharply, I wrapped a hand around his arm and pulled him from the room and into the hallway. He went begrudgingly, but he went. When we were out of earshot, I dropped his arm and spun on my heels, poking a finger in his chest. “You need to lay off,” I snapped. “I know you’re mad—hell, I don’t blame you. But we need the information that he has and if you can’t keep your mouth shut then maybe you should stay back here and let us question him.”
“I don’t trust him, Harlow.”
I shook my head. “I know,” I replied, “but right now, I don’t care. Now, can you keep quiet or are you staying back here?” Grayson and I faced off, one pair of electric blue eyes boring into me while I remained unwavering.
“Fine. I’ll stay here.”
“Good. You do that.” I circled around him and made my way back into the living room, my hands shaking in anger. If he wanted to sulk about it, he could do so well away from me.
I got back to the living room and shook my head when Marv narrowed his eyes on the fact that I was alone. “Leave it,” I said. Marv looked like he wanted to argue but Texas jumped in prodding Josh to keep talking.
“So, you were going to have to pay but didn’t have money?”
Josh blew out a breath. “Yeah, so I called Erika, told her I needed to leave. She wanted to know why and I…I couldn’t lie to her. I just told her everything.” Josh thunked his head back on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. “She told me it would be fine and she would take off the next semester and I could go to another rehab center and—” He cut himself off.
I moved across the room until I stood with my back against the wall.
“After I got off the phone with her I realized how fucking stupid I was. I shouldn’t have told her shit. They tapped the fucking phones and when they found out I couldn’t fucking pay they beat the fuck out of me. Finally, they told me it would be fine because my girlfriend sounded like a nice, pretty girl and—” Once again, he cut himself off, but this time, an agonized emotion passed over his face. “Fuck!” He threw an arm over his eyes, blocking out the room.
“Tell us why, Josh,” Texas said. “Why did Erika matter?”
“Because they can sell her.”
Time froze, and horror gripped me. My body remained stationary, but it felt as though the entire world had zoomed out so far away from me that if I reached out to touch it, I would fall into the blackest of spaces where nothing existed but fear. Sell Erika? As what? To who? What did he even mean “sell her?” My brain either couldn’t or wouldn’t comprehend what Josh was saying. It was too appalling, too disgusting. Because even though I asked myself what he meant, I knew. I had seen those cold case television shows, documentaries on drug trade, and illegal industries. I knew what bad people could and would do to young girls. And Erika was pretty. Not just pretty, but beautiful. Oh, God. What would they do to her?
“Shit.” Marv’s low curse dragged me back to reality, but reality was a painful, terrifying existence. With eyes wide open, I watched as Texas jerked his head back in shock.
“What?” Texas’ voice was raw with disbelief.
Josh uncovered his eyes, but still, he didn’t meet our gazes. “They could sell her to the porn industry,” he said.
A gruff voice sounded from the hallway. “Wow,” Grayson said, “I did not see that one coming.”
Chapter 11
"Hold on, explain this to me," Marv snapped, leaning forward. "So, you what? You knew that they were going to kidnap Erika and sell her or something to pay off your debt?"
Josh gulped back a breath as I stood on weak knees, using the wall at my back for support. I didn't even know if I wanted to hear the rest, though I knew I needed to. Whether I wanted to hear it or not, I couldn't move on my trembling legs, so I remained in place, a witness to the rest of Josh's story.
"I left the rehab center and I went straight for her, told her I didn't want her to get caught up in it—I didn't want to scare her, I left what they told me out."
"How would they even let you out, though?" Marv asked. "I mean, wouldn't they have kept a special eye on you?"
Josh finally tilted his head down again. I looked at his face and wondered how someone who could have been at one point so attractive could fall this far. "After the detox, it took a little less to get me high, but I told the guy that it still took a lot so that I could get more. He gave me a bunch of different stuff and I saved some of the pills. I crushed it up and slipped it into some of the night staff's coffee so they wouldn't see me leave. I left, grabbed Erika, and then we hid."
"And you were at the motel the entire time?" Marv prodded.
Josh shook his head. "No, I had to leave to get food and they must have caught me on a cam somewhere or someone must have seen me—I don't fucking know—but they followed me back, figured out I had Erika with me. They barged in. I tried to stop them, I fucking swear, man." Josh's eyes sought out Texas who remained shocked as he listened. "They took Erika, fucked me up." He gestured down to the bruises on his front and side and back. Now that I looked, there were distinct yellowish blotches around his neck and jaw and eye as well. Maybe it was hard to see before because he wouldn't ever look forward. But now that he was looking, almost pleadingly at Texas, he was facing me too and I could see them.
“How long ago?” Marv demanded.
I held my breath, waiting for an answer. Josh exhaled heavily. “Couple of days ago.”
“Why didn’t you stop them?” I finally blurted.
“Me?” Josh turned his gaze on me. “What the fuck do you think I could do?”
“Yell. Scream. Call the cops. Something!” I snapped.
"I didn't know what to do,” he replied shakily. “It just happened so fast. I didn’t even realize what was going on until it was too late. They took her and if she fucking gives in, then..."
"Then what?" I demanded when he trailed off.
Josh jerked as if he had forgotten I was there. But I had to know. I had to know what he knew, what they'd do to her. Even as my stomach churned with dread and worry, I waited for him to answer with baited breath.
He lowered his gaze. "All she has to do is sign. They'll keep her until she signs and once she does, she's fucking locked in and gone. They can do what they want. They've got the money. She'll sign their fucking contract and they'll have her on a fucking set somewhere the next day sucking some porn star’s joystick for the camera."
Bile rushed up my throat. I couldn't wait a moment longer. I dashed from the room, cutting around Grayson as he stood in the entrance to the hallway. Even though he had promised to stay back, of course he had broken it. I didn't care in that moment. The second the bathroom door was flung open, my knees hit the cool tile and I vomited what little I had in my stomach from a breakfast of granola and yogurt. My back bowed, and my abdomen clenched as I threw up. Images flickered through my mind and I didn't even realize I was crying until little drops hit the rim of the toilet bowl as I hung over the edge. Reaching up, I gripped the handle and flushed the remains of my only meal that day down the toilet.
A shadow in the doorway let me know that someone had joined me. I didn't know if it was out of some sort of misplaced embarrassment or what, but I couldn't seem to turn and see who had followed me to witness my brief moment of illness. Instead, I carefully reached for the roll of toilet paper, tore some off, and used it to wipe my mouth before dropping that, too, into the bowl before flushing once more. Getting off the cold floor, I moved slowly to the sink where I washed my hands and, after a brief moment of shaky unease, reached for the bottle of mouthwash to gargle the sour, acrid taste from my mouth.
"Harlow." Texas' voice was gentle as he stepped into the already small bathroom. I flinched at the way it ricocheted off the walls. I bit my lip and shook my head. I couldn’t speak for several moments.
"We can't let
this happen." Though I was sure my voice was quiet, it sounded loud—like it, too, was echoing in the tiny bathroom interior.
"We won't," Texas assured me. When I finally raised my gaze to meet his in the reflection of the vanity mirror, the hardness in his dark brown eyes startled me. His hand closed over my shoulder and he gently prodded me to turn around and face him. I did, looking up at his jaw, and then my gaze couldn't help but flicker down to his mouth—his lips were straight, neither fuller than the other—before I peered up into his eyes. "We won't let that happen to Erika," he said.
I nodded. I believed him, but the fear was still there. The shock of Josh's crude words made shivers chase up and down my spine. I curled inward, forward, resting my brow on Texas' chest and his arms came up to surround me.
And it was there, in that small outdated bathroom—with the broken floor tiles hidden behind the toilet, and the dirty mirror, and the tiny fissure in the upper corner of the back wall—that I let Texas hold me as I cried. And it was then that I realized that I loved him. I loved him for holding me. I loved him for protecting me.
But I didn't just love him. If I was truly being honest with myself, I loved Marv just as much as I loved Texas. Because Marv was out there with Josh. Marv hadn't turned me away when he found out what I had done with Bellamy. I loved Texas and I loved Marv. And Knix and Bellamy? I cared about them. I wasn't quite sure yet if it was love, but it was a deep trust that I hadn't felt before. And Grayson...Grayson was a wild card that I didn't know what to do with. I could have left him out of my thoughts. We hadn't kissed. We hadn't touched. We hadn't done anything. And yet when I asked myself the question: If I had to choose, who would it be? Grayson was there in the lineup, standing alongside the others. I wondered if they would hate me for his presence there in the list of my heart.
* * *
I stared blankly at a loose thread on the arm of the couch as Knix paced back and forth in the living room, his big body taking up way too much space for how many people were now crammed into the small three-bedroom duplex. I couldn't draw my gaze away from that stupid loose thread as I listened to the guys talk.
"We need a bigger house if we're all gonna be staying here," Texas grumbled as he shifted to the side to let Bellamy step over his legs and sit on the middle cushion between the two of us.
"You want us to wait?" Grayson snapped at Knix. "By the time Alex calls us back, it might be too late."
"He's likely to call back tonight," Knix said absently as he scratched the side of his jaw.
When I finally managed to pry my gaze away from the dark burgundy thread sticking out of the seam of the couch, I looked up and caught his expression as he passed me. I frowned. Knix looked way too tired, like he'd been up all night and had gone into work at the rehab center early this morning.
"It's not like him to make us wait too long. He knows how important this mission is."
"And if he doesn't call tonight?" Marv asked. Marv wasn't nearly as furious as Grayson was by Knix's answers, but he obviously wasn't happy with it either if the expression on his face was anything to go by. He sat across the room with his arms folded over his chest and his chin tilted down as he contemplated the conversation.
Knix stopped and turned to both Marv and Grayson. "What do you expect us to do?" he asked. "You want us to head to H. B. Holdings and demand they release Erika? Most people that work for H. B. Holdings probably don't even know about their less than legal business dealings. We don't know who could be in on it. We wouldn't even know where to start. Think this through. Alex will be able to give us some insight. He has far more connections than any of us and he can get more information."
"We know that at least one of the nurses is in on their illegal activities," Marv reminded him.
Knix nodded. "Did Josh give you a name?" At the mention of Josh, my eyes moved to the hallway. The guys were right to keep him away, relegating him to one of the rooms until they knew what to do with him. He had caused enough trouble, but a part of me wanted him to be in here with the rest of us, trying to figure out a solution to the problem he had caused.
"James Cook," Marv said.
Texas groaned long and loud. All eyes turned to him. "That's the name he gave? Come on," Texas huffed. "He wasn't even trying to hide it."
"What?" Marv asked, sitting forward. "Do you recognize it?" Texas slanted a pitying glance at both Marv and Grayson. "James Cook is the name of a drug dealer on the TV show Skins. Don't you two watch any television?"
"No, of course not," Marv replied.
"When the hell would I have time for that?" Grayson agreed. They both paused for a moment as if realizing that they were actually agreeing on something for a change. After an irritated glance at each other, Grayson shook his head and turned back to Knix.
"So, he gave a fake name. We still have a description of the guy. We can't just sit here and do nothing."
Knix clapped a large palm on Grayson's shoulder and shook his head. "We aren't doing nothing, I promise, Grayson. This will get figured out. Let's give Alex a few hours to call us back and if he doesn't, then we'll figure something else out."
Grayson shrugged off Knix's grip. "I can't believe you." He took a look around the room, passing over me briefly. "You talk a big game about how great Iris is, but all I've seen is that you stick your nose where it doesn't belong and when you could help someone, you choose to sit on your asses and wait."
"You wouldn't know what Iris does, would you, though?" Marv snapped. "You were a prospect for Iris for what? A week?"
Grayson closed his eyes, drawing in a heavy breath that made his chest rise and fall. "Fuck this," he finally said.
I wasn't sure if he was speaking directly to Marv or if he meant the whole room, but he turned and strode towards the front door, punching it open. I jumped when the door slammed shut and the rest of us were left in the wake of his exit.
"Well, that went well," Bellamy said.
I shook my head and stood up. "Marv," I snapped, "you need to stop provoking him."
"Are you leaving?" Texas asked as I headed towards the very door Grayson had just slammed.
"Yeah," I said. "I'm gonna head back to the dorm. All this—" I cut myself off, gesturing absently, "has left me exhausted. I'll be back tomorrow to see what Alex said." I flicked a glance at Knix. "And Knix, if he doesn't call tonight—we're going to the police."
Knix shook his head, but before he could open his mouth, I looked at him firmly. "I don't care, Knix. If Alex doesn't call and you have no way of getting to Erika. I will personally go to the police with or without you."
He looked startled by my declaration, but he didn't say anything more as I opened the door and stepped out onto the porch. One glance around told me that Grayson had already taken off. I sighed and headed down the driveway. Just as I got to the mailbox, the front door opened again and Marv appeared on the steps.
"Hey, hold up a second," he called, jogging across the grass, heading towards me. Marv reached me at the end of the driveway, his eyes hooded.
"I'm not going to apologize," I said. "I meant it."
He shook his head. "I wasn't going to ask you to," he assured me.
I narrowed my eyes at him. "You weren't?"
"Harlow, I get it. Erika is your best friend. You have every right to be worried. Knix isn’t trying to be an asshole.” My lips pinched down. I knew that, but it didn’t stop my anxiety or my worry. I wasn’t like Knix. I couldn’t look at this objectively. “Knix isn’t trying to hurt you. He wants to find Erika as much as you do, he just wants to do it by the book. It’s how he was taught.”
"I know,” I say quietly, dropping my gaze.
“Hey.” He tipped my chin up before dropping his hand again. “We’ll find her.” I nod, because what else can I do? I know he’s right. Knix is just following the straight path when I want to find a shortcut because I want to see Erika now.
An awkward silence stretched between us. I looked down at his white t-shirt. Then, slowly, as if I was watc
hing someone else's limb, my hand came up and touched the soft fabric over his chest.
"You know," I said, "it's kind of weird to see you in something so...casual."
"Yeah?" He smirked, tilting his head back.
The hollow of his throat was just above the V-neck and I found myself staring at it, wanting to put my lips there. I hadn't told Texas what I realized in the bathroom and I wasn't sure I wanted to. If, in the end, they wanted to make me choose—if I had to—then it wouldn't be right, it wouldn't be fair, to tell them I loved them now. In fact, it might hurt more when I inevitably wouldn't choose.
"Sunshine." I bit my lip, the corners of my mouth lifting in a half-hearted attempt to smile at the ridiculous nickname. I was growing so attached to these guys and their casual pet names and their touches and their words and their bodies sleeping next to mine, making me feel wanted and safe and…loved. I looked up and met Marv's gaze. "I'm not gonna say I like what you did with Bell," he admitted, "but I'm not gonna say that you had no right to do it."
I clenched my teeth to keep from saying anything as I waited for him to continue. Even though Marv had brought me back here after he overheard the conversation I had with Lizzie and we had taken a nap like nothing was wrong, I knew it was only a matter of time before we talked about it again. I had to be patient, I reminded myself.
"You didn't exactly know what was going on," Marv continued. "I mean, it's not like we really did either. We—I—damn, it's so fucking hard to talk about this. I'm sorry. I'm probably not making any sense. But what I'm just trying to say is that I'm not mad at you. And I don't think Knix or Texas would be if they knew either."
My eyes widened. "You mean you didn't tell them?"
He sighed, but his lips quirked up slightly. "When would I have had time, Sunshine? Between finding out and God, I needed that fucking nap today because I know that sharing a bed with Texas is gonna suck ass, and then Caruso Number Two showing up, well, it hasn't exactly been a slow day in the office, you know what I mean?"