by Smoke, Lucy
“But you can’t change the fact that you did,” Lizzie pointed out.
“Well, if you’re going to use logic,” I said, “maybe you could use it to help me out of this situation.”
Lizzie grimaced. “If I could, I would.” My phone buzzed in my pocket. I froze. Lizzie sighed and moved towards me, putting her hand slowly in my pocket to retrieve it. “It’s not going to bite you,” she said, holding it out to me.
“It’s them,” I replied with a grimace, staring at the phone, waiting for it to turn into a snake and bite me on the ass in some weird twisted kind of karma revenge plot.
She continued to hold the phone out to me, quirking a brow. “You have to talk to them sometime, Harlow.”
I knew that. We weren’t at Lander to explore ourselves and have fun and learn new things like Lizzie. We were here for Erika and we still had a job to do. The phone buzzed again, and I groaned, snatching it from her hand. Gulping down a nervous breath, I swiped the green button and put the phone to my ear.
“Hello?” I said as Lizzie leaned back against one of the railings. I stared at where the white rails met the red brick of the column.
"Why do you sound out of breath?" Bellamy asked.
"Um, pacing?" I replied, the answer sounding more like a question as my gaze flicked to Lizzie's face. She smacked her forehead dramatically and scrubbed a hand down her face.
"Pacing?" Bellamy repeated. "Are you okay?"
"Yes?" I winced at the squeak in my voice.
"You don't sound okay. Where are you? What happened?" The worry in his tone just made me feel even worse.
"It's fine, I'm fine," I said quickly. "I'm sure you called for a reason."
"Uh, yeah. We need you to skip your classes and meet at the house," he said.
"Yep. Sure. Can and will do. No problem. I can be there soon." Lizzie's eyes widened, and her eyebrows shot up. I ended the call before he could say anything more.
“What did he say? Where are you going?” Lizzie asked.
“I have to go meet the guys.” My phone buzzed with an incoming call, but I didn’t recognize the number—it certainly wasn’t any of the guys or Grayson. I ignored it and turned back to Lizzie as she moved away from the railing.
“Did they tell you what for?” she asked
I shook my head, but I knew that it probably had something to do with Erika and Josh and H. B. Holdings. I needed to put my own anxiety and stress aside about my would-be relationships and focus on the matter at hand—finding Erika and making sure she didn’t sign her life away to clear Josh’s debt. I shuddered at the thought.
“I’ll see you later,” I said, swinging around the brick column and white railing of the front patio-porch of Chipley Hall.
“You’ll have to tell me everything!” I winced. I doubted I’d be able to tell her everything, but I waved behind me anyway in non-answer.
I got to the duplex half expecting that all of the guys, plus Josh, would be there waiting on me. And I was mostly right. When I got through the front door, everyone was there, minus Josh and Knix. I looked around curiously.
“Knix is with Josh.” Bellamy rose from the chair across the room and answered my unspoken question. “They’re talking with Alex about whether or not Josh should go back to Charleston.”
“Alex is here?” I stepped around the side and looked down the hallway. I could hear voices, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying.
Marv moved forward, a hand on my arm and pulled me away from the mouth of the hallway. “They’re on a video call,” he said. “But we’ve already talked to Alex about what we should do about Erika and H. B. Holdings.”
He fell quiet and four sets of eyes were on me—Marv’s, Bellamy’s, Texas’, and Grayson’s. I blinked, realizing that Grayson was quietly sitting on the couch next to Texas. Pulling my gaze away, I looked up at Marv and prompted him. “And? What’s the verdict?”
“We can’t come to an agreement,” Bellamy admitted for him.
I turned away from Marv, feeling his hand drop away from my arm. “So, we don’t know anything more? Why are they in there discussing whether or not Josh should get to go home then?” Frustrated anger rose within me. “It’s not fair. This is his fault. Why does he just get to leave and let us clean up his mess?”
I didn’t realize how brutal that must have sounded until Grayson flinched. I bit my lip. “I’m sorry,” I said almost as quickly. “I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”
Grayson avoided my gaze, his head shifted to the side, and his eyes skirted away as he stood and shrugged. “There’s nothing to apologize for if it’s the truth,” he said.
Even Marv was looking at Grayson curiously. The usual rage and burning distrust was muted. What was it with him? Ever since we left the rehab facility last night, he had been acting strange. Quiet. Reserved. Less smartass-y—if that was even a word. I frowned, my brows drawing low as I advanced, slowly, towards him.
“That didn’t mean I wasn’t being rude,” I said, “and I’m sorry for that.”
Grayson shrugged once more and strode towards the front windows. When he got there, he paused, lifting a hand and moving the curtains to the side so he could peek out onto the street. “Alex said that it’s a little more difficult to get the police involved. We wouldn’t be allowed to continue our investigation, probably.”
“He didn’t say that exactly,” Texas piped up in a rush. “That we wouldn’t be allowed to, but…uh…yeah, he did talk to a contact in the police department in Charleston.”
Grayson remained at the window, face placid and eyes shrouded in darkness.
“In Charleston?” I shook my head and looked back at Texas.
He nodded. “Yeah, there’s an issue with getting them involved because there’s no evidence.”
“And a bunch of relative civilians claiming what they already know but haven’t been able to make stick is just going to frustrate them further,” Grayson muttered.
“Alex did manage to find out more information and Knix and I have been working with Josh, trying to establish a dialogue with Josh’s contact in H. B. Holdings, hoping to give them the illusion that Josh might be able to actually pay back his debt,” Bellamy said, distracting me from Grayson’s words once again.
I felt like I was being pulled in several different directions and I wondered—a fleeting thought that held a lot of weight and meaning—would it be any different if I didn’t choose someone?
“Apparently, Josh managed to wheedle some more information about what might happen to Erika if he doesn’t make the payment,” Marv continued where Bellamy left off. “They don’t start the girls out in,” he paused, his lips curling in distaste, “adult movies.”
“Wait.” I held up a palm before letting it fall after I had their attention. “Are you saying he actually made contact with someone again? And they talked to them?” I jerked my head to each of them. “Well?” I demanded when no one answered immediately. “Did he get to talk to Erika? Did any of you hear from her? Is she okay?”
Bellamy shook his head and moved towards me, his hands coming to rest on my shoulders. He kneaded the muscles—but no matter how magical his hands, the tension would not alleviate. “We couldn’t speak with them. Josh had to talk alone, and no they didn’t let him speak with her. We had him ask. I’m sorry, Sweetheart.”
I deflated. Blinking back tears, I clenched my fists at my sides. “It’s… not your fault,” I said. “Just tell me what else.”
“They start their girls gently, but since Josh’s—and therefore, Erika’s—debt is so steep, they’re going to want her to sign a contract of employment. For all intents and purposes, it’ll be legit. It’ll be legal. But gaining her signature of consent is the main issue. If Erika refuses to sign the contract, they could try to push her to other people or try to sell her ‘debt’ to even the score.” Bellamy’s hands fell away slowly—the tips of his fingers trailing down my arms and making the baby hairs there stand on end.
“We’re not any closer to finding out where she is, are we?” My voice croaked, stopping and cracking at the end. I was desperate. I felt like we were declining—not only the guys and me, but this mission too. This was more than just finding a thief or derailing a revenge plot. This was about Erika—my best friend. The girl who had held my hand when I quit gymnastics and had still remained my best friend throughout high school even though I could never do the things she wanted to do—couldn’t go out shopping, to the movies, or have regular sleepovers. I couldn’t even afford to go to prom, but she hadn’t cared. She’d been my friend no matter how old my clothes were or how much I slept in class or…I couldn’t leave her to this.
“Well, not exactly,” Texas said. “Alex’s police contact knows that there is an informant on the inside that they’ve been working with—a mole that got made ages ago. He’s only double crossing to save his own skin for immunity or something when they finally do manage to get this into court.”
“They haven’t managed to get anything he gave them to stick so far,” Grayson snapped, turning away from the window to glare at Texas. “Don’t give her false hope.”
“The informant could help us,” Texas argued, brown eyes narrowing.
Shaking his head, Grayson stepped up to the middle of the living room where Texas stood to meet him. They remained motionless for several moments, eyes crackling with energy before Grayson huffed out a breath and shoved a hand through the short strands of his hair. “Maybe I should just pay the damn debt and we get Erika back. Leave the rest to solve itself,” Grayson snarled as if he didn’t particularly care for that idea and scrubbed the hand on top of his head down his face.
“No,” Marv said, folding his arms over his chest, “we’re not doing that.”
Grayson turned to him. “No? Well, then do you have a better plan? The girl’s in danger, isn’t she? Shouldn’t we fucking do something about it? What about if we pay off the debt and use that as evidence?”
“Would it hold up in a court of law?” I asked, turning to Bellamy who shrugged and nodded back to Marv who was already shaking his head.
“There’s no telling if they’d get any repercussions except for having to pay for an attorney. They can probably bribe their way out of anything but ironclad evidence. Even if Grayson pays Josh’s debt, it’s still our word against theirs. Plus, Josh might end up on the stand right along with them.”
“At this point, that’s fine by me,” Grayson said. “Let him rot in jail. He did this to himself.”
“Grayson…” I bit my lip and shuffled across the floor towards him. He turned away. “Wait!” I held my hands up and all eyes turned to me again. “What if we send someone in—like Bellamy and Knix, but someone new. Someone that might be able to gain some insight into the illegal parts of their business? Wouldn’t they have drug dealers at the bottom of their totem pole?”
“We are not sending you,” they all said at once. Bellamy and Marv and Texas all grimaced or frowned while Grayson continued to scowl.
“Well, we have to do something,” I snapped, folding my arms over my chest.
“We will do something.” The new voice made my back straighten, shivers dance up my spine, and my palms sweat all in the same instance. Knix stood in the apex of the hallway, looking over the living room, his jaw turning until his eyes caught mine and he paused, taking me in. I swallowed as he shifted his gaze to the side, continuing. I still felt the weight of the look he had given me on my shoulders. "For now, though, we need to be patient."
"What did Alex say?" Marv asked.
Knix sighed and shook his head, rubbing a large hand through his hair. Though I was frustrated by the non-answer, I noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the droop of his shoulders. Even exhausted, he filled the hallway to almost capacity, but he was definitely not at full speed. I unfolded my arms and moved across the room towards him, reaching out to gently touch his arm.
"Okay," I said, shocking not just myself, but the others as well.
"Harlow?" Bellamy's voice was close at my back. I didn't turn around but met Knix's curious gaze.
"We need to regroup," I said, firmly. Knix frowned as I finally pivoted my head back to the rest of the room. I took in the rest of them. Grayson's silent stare. Marv's own dropped brows. Texas' frown. Bellamy's slow movements as he shuffled back. "We're all exhausted, especially you guys. How much sleep have y'all been getting?" I asked.
They looked at each other, but it was Texas that answered. "We take shifts."
I nodded. "And I can bet that you don't always get to sleep when it's your turn for one reason or another."
Marv, Texas, and Bellamy looked down. Although Grayson met my gaze head-on, I knew for sure he wasn't sleeping. He was too busy running off in the middle of the night, convincing me to break into rehab facilities that dealt drugs to their patients. I nodded once.
"Alright then, we take a night. Get some sleep. That's not a request." They all seemed pretty shocked by my new tone, but I had decided to put our relationship issues to the side for now. We could deal with all that after we worked this job. I would make sure Erika was safe—probably chastise her and lock her away from boys for the rest of her life like an overprotective father—and then I would approach the guys. This thing between us couldn't go on the way that it was. I mean, sure, right now they said I didn’t have to choose, but anyone would expect a decision sooner or later, right? What kind of person wouldn’t choose? No one was crazy enough to start a relationship with more than one man and keep it. That kind of relationship wasn’t built to last. It wasn't fair to them and to be honest, it wasn't fair to me. I cared about all of them—yes, even Grayson. Despite his rough exterior and his hard edges and smartass tendencies, there was a vulnerability beneath that called to me. There was a lonely man under his facade. One that I wanted to wrap my arms around and protect. I couldn't very well do anything about that now, though. I had to find Erika first and fix our problems one by one.
"Harlow's right," Knix said, sounding infinitely more tired now that I had pointed it out. He turned his big, blue eyes, sharp and deep as the ocean, on me. "We'll take some downtime and then go hard. You’ve got class tomorrow. Do you want me to walk you back to the dorms?"
I bit my lip. I glanced beyond him to the clock hanging on the wall. Class—although educational—was now just a cover. I wasn't here to become a college student. I was here to play a college student. Normal, when I was anything but now. Still, if I was going to keep up appearances, I probably shouldn’t show up looking like death warmed over. "Yeah," I finally decided, "thanks, I'd appreciate that."
Knix nodded and began shuffling me across the room towards the door. "No thanks necessary, Little Bit."
* * *
By the time I finally got back to Chipley Hall, I was just as exhausted as the guys. I felt like I was held together by really crappy glue and scotch tape. Maybe Lizzie could tell because as soon as I walked in the door and face-planted on my bed, she quietly moved over to my side of the room and gingerly sat on the edge of my bed to stroke my hair back from my face.
I faced her. "That bad?" she asked.
I closed my eyes. "It's complicated," I said.
She continued stroking her fingers through my hair and I let her. It felt good. It reminded me of when I was a little girl and Erika and I would play hairdresser. She'd braid my hair and twist it in pretty ways, then I'd put diamond stickers in her hair since I couldn't do much more than brush it. I wasn't even good at braiding. I missed her so much, and I wished I could ask for her thoughts on the guys. I wasn't so sure about asking her for advice after everything that had happened, but I definitely knew I needed to get my best friend back. Lizzie was sweet and nice, but she was no Erika.
Yeah, to some people, Erika probably seemed flighty and irrational. But she had always had my back against bullies. She was over-passionate, and she fell in love way too easily. She was a mess of a person, but a well-meaning mess of a person. She was my mess. Cold tears leaked
through my closed eyelids. Lizzie must have noticed because she left and when she came back, I felt the softness of a tissue pressed into my hand. Lizzie was sweet. She probably thought I was crying over the guys—the truth was, I was crying over much more than them. I was crying because sometimes life was just too much.
Grayson was obviously shutting down. Maybe it was about his brother, maybe not. But it reminded me of my relationship, or lack thereof, with my brother. Michael hadn't called me in weeks. I hadn't talked to my mom either. The guys wanted me to choose, Erika was in danger, and I felt like a crushing weight was sitting on my shoulders.
Logically, I knew it wasn't all on me. I wasn't responsible for everyone in my life. But things would be so much easier if I could have just one person to blame or one person to go to. Lizzie continued to stroke my hair, murmuring soft words of reassurance. I turned and curled into her, my head on her lap.
"It'll all work out, Harlow," she assured me. Even though she had no clue what was going on, I sincerely hoped so. I hoped like hell that it did. Because if it didn't work out—if all the issues I was faced with didn't resolve themselves—I didn't know what I would do. I didn't know what would happen.
Chapter 14
Someone up top must have sensed my emotions and decided to add dreary weather to my list of issues. Because the next day, as I got up after a night of crying, one look out my window revealed dark thunderous clouds and drops of rain on the window. Go figure. Weeks of sunny weather had come crashing down into a day of rainstorms.
I dressed warmly in jeans and a long-sleeve t-shirt before pulling on a rain slicker. A glance at my cell told me no one had called. Perhaps, the guys were still sleeping. Or maybe they had headed to their own classes for a change. Since I didn't know what the plan was, and I had yet to come up with one, I decided to stop skipping class and head to Gothic Lit.
Despite my hopes to not look like warmed up death, I probably resembled exactly that when I walked in and headed towards my seat. I passed by several somewhat familiar faces that blurred in my memory. The only way I knew they were familiar was because a few of them raised their hands to me in greeting. College, I learned, was a lot friendlier of a place than high school. Where everyone would have ignored another student walking into class, here we were all acquaintances at the very least and respect was a little higher on the totem pole.