Keeping Sam

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Keeping Sam Page 17

by Joanne Phillips


  ‘You can say that again,’ Marie laughed.

  Relieved, Kate told her friend to close her eyes.

  ‘What? Why would I do that?’

  ‘Because I said so,’ Kate said firmly. She crossed the room and pulled the yellow silk dress from its cover. She’d had to guess Marie’s size, but she thought she’d done a pretty good job. She carried the dress over to Marie and held it up against her. ‘Open your eyes,’ she said.

  Marie peered into the mirror, her gaze skimming up and down, her expression turning from puzzled to admiring and then back to puzzled again.

  ‘Did you make this out of those old curtains of my grandma’s?’

  Kate nodded. ‘You don’t mind, do you? You said you’d like it if they were put to good use. And I thought the yellow would set off your hair perfectly. Be honest – do you like it? It’s fine if you don’t.’

  ‘Like it? I love it! But … are you saying this is for me?’

  ‘Of course it’s for you.’

  ‘But I can’t take this.’

  ‘It didn’t cost anything. You gave me the fabric yourself.’ Kate laughed at her friend’s expression. ‘Just go and try it on, okay? Decide if you like it after you’ve tried it on.’

  Still protesting, Marie allowed herself to be manoeuvred downstairs and into her room.

  ‘I’ll wait out here,’ Kate called from the hallway. She grinned. It felt so good to be able to do something nice for someone else. She dug her bare toes into the carpet and waited. ‘You’ll knock Big Tony dead in that,’ she shouted. ‘He won’t be able to resist you.’

  She heard Marie call something back, but couldn’t hear what it was. A knock at the door made her jump a little, and she turned to open it, still laughing to herself. Standing on the pavement, braced against the slope of Bow Hill, was Elizabeth.

  ‘Oh, hi,’ Kate began, but then she saw that the social worker was accompanied by a uniformed policeman, and that both of their faces were grave. ‘Is it Sam?’ she asked at once, her smile turning to ice in an instant.

  Elizabeth shook her head. ‘Sam’s fine, Kate. This has nothing to do with him.’

  Nothing to do with Sam? Then what …

  ‘Oh, right,’ Kate said, nodding vigorously, suddenly understanding. ‘You’re here about Evan. Well, you took your time.’ She addressed the grim-faced police officer, who looked to be no more than about eighteen, with pale skin and a patchy beard and skinny, sloping shoulders. ‘I was expecting a phone call, but this is better. It will be easier for me to explain in person.’

  She stood back to let them in. The officer looked at Elizabeth, who shrugged and followed him inside.

  ‘Kate, it’s amazing! Look at me – I’m a goddess.’ Marie twirled into the hallway, nearly knocking the policeman against the wall. ‘Oops,’ she said, giggling. ‘Sorry. Just having a bit of a fashion show here.’

  ‘Marie, they’ve come about Evan.’ Kate smiled, and gave her friend the thumbs up. ‘You look amazing. Have a great time tonight. I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow.’

  ‘Kate,’ Elizabeth said, stepping forward and laying a hand on her arm, ‘I think you should be careful what you say.’

  ‘But it’s only Marie,’ Kate said, laughing. ‘I tell her everything.’

  ‘No, but this officer has –’

  ‘I have a warrant to search the premises of a Miss Kate Steiner,’ the officer said, and his tone was so pompous that Kate almost laughed again. But then she processed his words, her eyes narrowing as she looked from him to Elizabeth, and finally to Marie.

  ‘What did he say?’ she asked, directing the question to the one person who looked the most puzzled of them all.

  ‘He had a phone call,’ Elizabeth began, but the policeman cut her off again.

  ‘We received information yesterday to the effect that a Miss Kate Steiner of this address is in possession of a Class A drug, and I now have a warrant to search these premises to ascertain the exact –’

  ‘Drugs!’ shrieked Marie, throwing her hands into the air.

  Kate shook her head slowly. No, she thought. This must be some kind of joke.

  ‘You’ve got me mixed up with someone else,’ she told him, but Elizabeth shook her head.

  ‘When they looked you up on their database they found out about the court case and contacted me. I said I’d come along to … To be here in case you need support.’

  To see for myself, was what Elizabeth had been about to say, Kate was sure of it. She searched the other woman’s face, but all she saw was a wary coolness.

  ‘It isn’t true,’ Kate said. ‘You’re wasting your time, but go ahead and search my room. You won’t find anything.’

  ‘The warrant isn’t only for your room, Miss Steiner. Our source said you are close friends with the other residents here. We’ll be searching their rooms as well.’

  ‘My room as well!’

  ‘I’m sorry, Marie.’ Kate threw a furious glare at the police officer. ‘I’m sure it won’t take long.’

  ‘But I have … personal things in there,’ Marie whispered.

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘Artwork.’ Marie pulled a face and opened her eyes wide. ‘Big Tony – he likes to, you know, draw me. And stuff.’

  ‘Oh.’ Kate didn’t know what to say. Her friend’s reticence to allow her into her private space made sense now, but there wasn’t much she could do to protect Marie’s privacy in the face of a search warrant.

  ‘We’ll start with your room, Miss Steiner,’ the officer said, and he stood to the side to let her pass, indicating that she should lead the way.

  ‘Who made the phone call?’ Kate asked Elizabeth, who began to trudge up the stairs behind her.

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘Not that you’d tell me if you did.’

  ‘I believe it was anonymous.’

  Kate laughed bitterly. ‘I’m not an idiot. Obviously it was my mother. Trying to muddy the waters again. She must be getting desperate if she’d stoop this low.’

  ‘Have you spoken to your colleague in Manchester?’ Kate asked the officer when they reached the top of the stairs. ‘You know all about the attack, right? That I was unconscious, that I was in hospital for months?’

  ‘I’m aware of the unresolved matter of an amount of cannabis that was found in your flat a year ago, yes,’ he answered. He gestured towards the door. ‘In there?’

  Kate nodded mutely. She made to follow but he barred her way.

  ‘If you’d just wait out here, Miss Steiner,’ he said. And then he closed the door in her face.

  Kate turned on Elizabeth, her eyes flashing fire. ‘How could you let her do this? Don’t you see what’s going on here?’

  ‘They got a phone call, Kate, and they have to –’

  ‘But he wouldn’t be here, would he, if not for the other drugs? You don’t just go dashing off to get a search warrant based on one anonymous phone call. But you know that had nothing to do with me, you said so yourself. That first day, when I arrived here to see Sam, you told me you were on my side.’

  ‘What I actually said was that I am on Sam’s side,’ Elizabeth told her calmly.

  ‘Well,’ Kate said, thinning her lips in disgust, ‘sooner or later you are going to realise that they both mean the same thing.’ She drummed her foot on the floor, wondering what her mother was doing right now. Probably sitting at home rubbing her hands together in delight.

  ‘You said something about Evan downstairs,’ Elizabeth said. ‘About something you’d remembered?’

  ‘Like you care,’ Kate snapped. ‘And if you had your finger on the pulse the way you should, you’d know that I reported it to the police two days ago. Yes, I remembered. It was Evan who attacked me and left me for dead. He wasn’t in Scotland – he was right there, large as life. And I have proof,’ she added, interpreting Elizabeth’s expression as one of scepticism. ‘He made a slip-up. He mentioned something of Sam’s that he could only have seen if he was in the flat long after
he’d left us. And I never once let him in willingly, so clearly he was up to no good. Evan knew I had some jewellery that was worth a bit of money, and he knew where I hid the little bit of cash I’d managed to save. It was him who ransacked the place, right after he knocked me out.’

  ‘I see.’

  Kate glanced at Elizabeth warily. The woman was so damned closed-off. It was impossible to know what she was thinking.

  ‘It really was him. I’m certain of it. As soon as Evan mentioned Sam’s sailor suit it all began to fall into place. The doors of my memory … they just sort of flew open.’

  Elizabeth nodded. ‘You’re right. It would happen like that. And the nightmares you’ve been having?’

  ‘I finally turned around,’ Kate said simply. ‘And there was Evan. I guess when I saw him there, in my flat, I flew at him and we argued. And this time, his temper took him too far. He must have panicked when I blacked out. Panicked and run away.’

  ‘It makes sense, when you think about it,’ Elizabeth said. ‘He didn’t hurt Sam, didn’t touch anything of his. Not even in his room. That was always something that bothered me about your case.’

  ‘That’s true.’ Kate hadn’t thought about this before, and her blood ran cold just thinking about what might have happened to Sam if the intruder had been someone other than his own father.

  ‘But, Kate, if it was Evan who hit you, then it must have been him who –’

  ‘Hid the drugs in my flat, I know. I’ve been thinking about that. I think he must have broken in before, when Sam and I were out, and hidden them there. Maybe he was sleeping rough, wanted somewhere safe to put them. He left his key when he walked out on us, but of course he could have had a spare cut that I never knew about. I think he came back to get them, maybe he had a deal or something, couldn’t wait until we went out again.’ Kate laughed, but there was no humour in her voice when she said, ‘Of course, we rarely went out anymore. I was so depressed I could hardly think straight.’

  Elizabeth didn’t speak for a minute. Kate looked at the door to her room and wondered what was taking so long. Elizabeth followed her gaze.

  ‘Kate, has Evan ever been here? I mean, have you ever left him alone in your room?’

  ‘No. Well, not really. Only that first time when he turned up and I was out, and the other day when he tried to … He went into the bathroom, and I …’ She swallowed. ‘He was only on his own for a few minutes.’

  ‘A few minutes is all that it would take.’

  Kate’s hand flew up to her mouth as she realised what Elizabeth was saying.

  ‘You don’t think that he –?’

  The door to her room swung open and the police officer stepped out, holding up a clear plastic bag with a triumphant flourish.

  ‘Miss Steiner,’ he said, ‘I’m going to have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. There are one or two things we need to discuss.’

  ‘Kate?’

  Marie was standing on the stairs clutching the house phone to her chest. Her face was ashen, the yellow silk dress incongruous against her devastated expression. ‘Kate, there’s a call for you. It’s the hospital. It’s about ... Kate, it’s Sam.’

  Chapter 28

  ‘She was drunk.’

  Kate stated it flatly, keeping her hands locked together on her lap, her eyes fixed on the wall opposite. Back in the same hospital, only days after she’d been here for her father. And look what had happened to him.

  Elizabeth shook her head. ‘I don’t think so. The paramedics didn’t say–’

  ‘I could smell it on her. I could see it in her eyes.’

  ‘She wasn’t drunk, Kate. It was an accident. Samuel tried to climb over the stair gate. There was nothing she could do. It happens. It’s a lot more common than you might think.’

  Kate shuddered, thinking how much worse it could have been. This time it was only a broken arm, but what about the next time? ‘He shouldn’t have been coming downstairs on his own in the first place. If she’d been caring for him properly–’

  ‘Okay, fine.’ Elizabeth stood and scraped back her chair. The waiting area was quieter now than when they’d first arrived, but the few people seated nearby glanced up at the social worker’s exasperated sigh. ‘You don’t know what happened because you weren’t there, but you’re going to think the worst of her because that’s how it is between you two. Frankly, I’m sick of it. She’s breaking her heart over this, she feels so bad about it. But you know best, Kate. I’m going to get a drink.’

  Kate watched her cross the waiting area, then she jumped up and followed, weaving around the chairs, nearly tripping over a rucksack someone had dropped between two rows of plastic chairs.

  She found Elizabeth by the coffee machine, blowing into a cardboard cup.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘It’s just hard to keep perspective.’

  Elizabeth sipped her drink and said nothing.

  ‘Is she?’ Kate asked. ‘Is my mother breaking her heart?’

  ‘What do you think? She didn’t get to him in time, she had to watch him fall. She said the sound of him screaming was like–’

  ‘I should have been there!’

  ‘You shouldn’t have stormed off when your mother tried to explain to you what happened.’

  ‘No.’ Kate bit her lip and nodded. ‘You’re right. That was immature. I was angry at her, and scared. Scared for Sam.’

  ‘So, you’ll talk to her?’ Elizabeth looked at Kate over the rim of her cup, one eyebrow raised. ‘Like a grown-up?’

  ‘Elizabeth, it’s what I’ve been trying to do all along. But first,’ Kate said, turning back in the direction of the wards, ‘I need to check on Sam.’

  ***

  Bones. White and smooth. Holding you together, but still so fragile. Breakable. On the X-ray, Sam’s bones had been translucent and glowing, the fracture disturbingly distinct. His broken arm was encased in a plaster cast now, with just his chubby wrist poking out of the end, his hand palm up, fingers splayed, the way they had been during sleep when he was a baby. Kate stroked his cheek but he didn’t wake up. He was exhausted, poor lamb. At least the painkillers were working.

  She glanced up at a movement in the doorway.

  Her mother edged into the room uncertainly. She held Sam’s favourite teddy. She must have gone home to get it.

  Kate returned her gaze to her son.

  ‘He’s such a brave boy,’ her mother said. ‘I was so proud of him.’

  Kate said nothing. She brushed a stray hair from Sam’s face, watching his eyelids flicker in the safety of sleep.

  ‘Kate, I–’

  ‘Mum, just leave it, okay? Elizabeth’s explained what happened. I know it wasn’t your fault. Sam will be fine. Let’s just ... Look, I’ve had a hell of a day. Do you think we could just sit for a while? Just not talk?’

  Barbara nodded mutely and tucked her chin into her neck. Kate allowed her shoulders to drop. She wondered what was happening at the police station, whether she’d still have to go there or whether Elizabeth would be able to sort it out. It all depended on whether or not they believed what she’d told them about Evan. The way her luck was going, it seemed unlikely.

  ‘You broke your wrist once,’ Barbara said softly.

  ‘Mum–’

  ‘I don’t suppose you remember it. You weren’t much older than Samuel. We brought you here, to this very hospital. Such a long time ago now.’

  ‘I didn’t know that,’ Kate sighed.

  ‘He did it.’

  Kate froze. She looked down at Sam. Every detail of him seemed so distinct and clear, and the shape and sound of her breath seemed suddenly loud and uneven. She moved her head slowly, feeling every bone in her neck grind.

  ‘What did you just say?’

  Barbara blinked furiously, then met Kate’s eyes. She nodded. ‘He did it. I can’t remember what you were supposed to have done that time, but he was drunk and clumsy and he picked you up and then he dropped you.’ She swallowed. ‘Ironic
ally, the time he broke your wrist was actually an accident. If you can call it an accident. But that doesn’t excuse all the other times. It doesn’t excuse how he treated you. Or how often I ignored it.’ Her voice cracked at the same moment as her face began to crumple, blurring and melting, tears making tracks down cheeks. ‘I denied it, Kate, for all these years. I’m so sorry.’

  ‘Mummy?’

  ‘Hey, sweetheart.’ Kate turned to her son and forced herself to smile. Her heart was pounding. ‘How are you feeling?’

  ‘Nana crying.’

  ‘I’m fine, Samuel,’ Barbara said, wiping her eyes on a handkerchief. ‘Just so happy to see you feeling better.’

  ‘Feel funny,’ Sam said. He lay back, his bottom lip wobbling. Kate kissed his forehead, then gave him a tumbler of water to sip from.

  ‘The doctor said you might feel a little sicky for a while. We’ll wait for him to come and see you again, then you can go home.’

  The word hung in the air between them, a hollow sound, full of meaning.

  ‘Why?’ she whispered. ‘Why did you lie for him? And why are you telling me this here, now?’

  Barbara had made an effort to control her tears, but now they started afresh. ‘I don’t know,’ she sobbed. ‘Just seeing Sam in pain like that, it brought it all back to me. I remembered you, so helpless, so needy. I let you down, Kate. I wasn’t ...’ She choked on her words, turning her face away. ‘I’ve been searching my soul to find a way to explain this to you. The truth is, I didn’t want it to be true. I thought that if I just ignored it, if I pretended it wasn’t happening, then it wouldn’t be happening. I wouldn’t be that person, married to a man who drank too much and got so angry and did those terrible things to us.’ She took a violent, shuddering breath. ‘To you.’

  ‘No cry, Nana,’ Sam said, reaching out his good arm to pat Barbara’s hand. The older woman’s skin was mottled and lumpy; Sam’s perfect and unblemished. Kate laid her hand on top of Sam’s and said nothing. There was a dull throbbing in her head, and her throat was raw, but other than that she felt strangely calm.

  ‘Aren’t you going to say anything?’ Barbara asked, her eyes pleading. ‘I thought you’d be furious with me.’

 

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