Embarrassed, he couldn’t look his older brother in the eye, instead keeping his gaze on the floor. “No, I didn’t. I don’t know why I didn’t tell you…or Mom, Dad, or Dev, either. I was just…I honestly don’t know.” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “Do they know?”
Ian nodded. “Yeah, they do. I told Dev back then, but Mom and Dad asked me about four years ago when I thought you would come out. When I asked how they knew, Mom just smiled and said it was a parent thing.”
Groaning, Nick stood and paced the room. “Great…just fucking great. So whenever Mom asked if I was dating someone, she meant a guy and not a girl. And here I was, inventing chick names for my fictional girlfriends. She knew I was lying the whole fucking time.”
Stepping into his path, Ian took hold of Nick’s shoulders. “Don’t worry about it. They understand how hard it can be for some gay people to come out. But now you know you don’t have to lie to anyone anymore. We love you, ass-hat—gay or straight—doesn’t fucking matter to us. As long as you’re not fucking any farm animals, we’re good.” He smirked. “Well, one other thing does matter. I don’t want to see your junk any more than I want to see Dev’s or Dad’s, all right?”
Nick snorted. “Yeah, I get it. And the feeling is mutual.”
His smile dropping, Ian became serious once more. “I have to ask, though. Are you sure about this? The lifestyle isn’t a game and I trust Jake as a Dom, a teammate, and a brother, one hundred and ten percent. That being said, I want you to be sure this is what you really want.”
“I’ll be honest,” he admitted. “If you asked me that two months ago, I would have said no. But now, in my gut, I know I have to give this a shot. I’ll regret it if I don’t. And no matter what happens, it will stay between Jake and me. I won’t be some sissy-teenager demanding you fire him or not to talk to him because we broke up. I promise. I’m going into this as an adult with an open mind.”
Pulling him into a hug, Ian slapped him on the back before releasing him. “Glad to hear it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to try and get my Angel on the line for some phone sex. She can’t come home fast enough for me.”
“TMI, big brother,” he called out as Ian hurried out of the office, shutting the door behind him. Eyeing Jake, Nick leaned against the desk and crossed his arms. “You knew, didn’t you? That’s why you gave me a time limit to come out to them. You knew my family knew I was gay, and you didn’t tell me. Why?”
Jake stood and shrugged his shoulders. “You weren’t ready to hear it. This was something you needed to do on your own. Coming out is a very personal thing. In my case, I didn’t have a choice, but in your case, your family knew about you for a long time and it didn’t matter to them. You just needed to come to terms with it.” Jake hooked his fingers into the waistband of Nick’s jeans and pulled him forward. “Now, where were we?”
CHAPTER 21
Nick swallowed hard before opening the door to the lobby of the club. Tonight would be different then all the other times he’d been here. Tonight, he’d be here as a submissive. Jake’s submissive. Part of him was excited for what they’d planned to do later, but he was nervous about how the people he knew here were going to react to him being a sub. He dreaded the snide comments he was sure someone would make and knew he’d be tempted to deck the speaker. Jake had tried to reassure him everything would be fine and no one would insult him, but he still had butterflies in his stomach. Heck, he still hadn’t seen Devon, and while he now knew his brother was aware of his homosexuality, he was nervous about the announcement.
The security guard standing in Tiny’s normal spot at the double doors separating the lobby from the club wasn’t someone Nick recognized, so he flashed his club card as he walked past. The red-shirted guard pulled open one of the doors for him, allowing him to enter. Pivoting to the left, he quickly spotted Jake standing at the bar and the butterflies took full flight. The Dom was gorgeous, dressed in his black leather pants and boots. The grey T-shirt he wore hugged his entire torso. Nick’s gaze traveled over every mesa and valley of muscle as his mouth watered.
Jake was talking to Mistress China, but Nick knew the moment he’d noticed him walking toward them. Eyes which had been haunting him for over two months locked onto his own. Heat and lust had their green color morphing from jade to dark emerald.
When the Domme noticed she’d lost Jake’s attention, she glanced over her shoulder and smiled. “Hello, Nick.”
“Mistress China. You look beautiful as always.” The petite woman was wearing her usual head-to-toe black. Nick assumed the comfortable-looking tank-top, jeans and two-inch-heeled boots meant she was the club’s Whip Mistress tonight.
He noticed her eyeing him and Jake, before her grin widened. “Well, it’s about damn time.”
Both men stared at her, but it was Jake who spoke. “What’s about time?”
She used one finger to point back and forth at them in a rapid motion. “You two.” Nick’s mouth dropped and she placed a hand on his shoulder while giggling. “Don’t look so surprised. I’ve been watching you since you first started gracing us with your rare visits. I knew the first night we met what gender your cock preferred.” Jake chuckled, but she ignored him. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I never call you Master Nick like the submissives and other Doms do. I figured out that you weren’t a lifestyle top, and you would never let just any guy dominate you. I was hoping you’d hook up with Jake because he needs a strong, intelligent sub, but he never seemed to be around when you were.”
Nick was flustered. Had his submissiveness been that obvious? He didn’t think so. The Domme turned her attention to Jake. “You know, Master Jake, I have an idea.”
He crossed his arms and smirked. “This should be good…or bad, knowing you.”
Mistress China frowned, but it was evident she wasn’t insulted. “If you don’t want my advice then that’s your problem, because I’m going to give it to you anyway. I think Nick would make a great switch.”
Nick’s eyes widened in shock. What the hell was she talking about? A switch flip-flopped from being a Dom to a submissive, and there was no way Jake would go for that. Right? But the look Jake was giving him said he was considering the crazy idea. “I…I don’t think…”
“Easy, Junior.” Jakes voice had dropped to a lower bass and it sent a shiver through Nick’s body. “I think I know exactly what Mistress China is suggesting. Out here in the public area, you can be an assumed Dom. You carry yourself that way anyway and the subs seem to think you are one. You’ve never played, so no one thinks differently. But behind closed doors, you will submit to me. We’ve already established that neither one of us is into public humiliation, and I prefer to play in private. I think it’s the perfect solution for you to be comfortable when your brothers and the rest of the team are here. You won’t have to follow submissive protocols in the presence of other Doms, either. I’m not saying we’ll be hiding the fact that we’re together, and there may come a time…an agreed upon time…when the switch thing may get thrown out. But for now, until you become more accustomed to the lifestyle, I think it’s a great idea. We just have to float it by your brothers and Mitch.”
At that moment, Nick knew it had happened. He was positive now. He’d fallen desperately and completely in love with Jake Donovan. The man knew his fears and concerns without even asking about them. And then, with a little help from Mistress China, he’d found, and agreed to, a solution for those insecurities.
“Float what by us?”
All three turned to see Ian and Dev had approached along with Kristen, who greeted them with the respect shown to every Dominant in the house. She said hello to Jake, Nick, and China using the title of Master and Mistress in front of their names. Nick had to hold back a grin at the knowing wink he’d received from her.
Instead of answering Dev’s question, Jake nodded at Nick. The new submissive took a deep breath, and realized this was going to be a lot easier since his conversation with thei
r older brother that afternoon. “Dev, I had a talk with Ian earlier, and…well, I came out to him. I’m gay.”
Devon raised an eyebrow as if waiting for him to say something more. It was obvious Ian hadn’t told him about what had happened earlier, because his gaze flashed back and forth between his brothers. “And?” When Nick didn’t say anything, Devon added, “No shit. I’ve known for years. So has Ian. It’s about bloody time you came out, but don’t expect a fucking medal.”
Kristen let out little gasp, then put her hands on her hips and gave her Master the evil eye. “You knew?”
“Of course. We’ve known since he was a teenager.” Devon glared at his submissive. “But, Pet, why do I get the feeling that’s what you’re surprised about and not that my little brother finally came out of the closet? You know I don’t like you keeping secrets from me.”
Her gaze fell to the floor and she bit her bottom lip. Nick felt sorry for her and intervened. “She only found out yesterday and it was because I wanted advice. I made Kat, Kayla, and her promise not to say anything to any of you, unless you asked a direct question about it. They were going to tell you the truth if they had to.”
Devon crossed his arms and frowned at Kristen. “Is that true, Pet?”
“Yes, Master, it is. We promised Master Nick we wouldn’t say anything, but told him we wouldn’t lie if you asked us about it.”
The older brothers glanced at each other. “Technically, she didn’t lie,” Ian said with mild reluctance.
Nick didn’t want any of the women to be in trouble with their Doms, so he intervened once more. “Dev, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t punish her for keeping my secret. It was mine to tell, not theirs.”
Rolling his eyes, Ian snorted. “The kid’s got a point. And he also has something else to tell you, Dev, and I get the feeling your subbie knows about this, too.”
His eyes flashing from Ian to Kristen to Nick, Devon held out his hands in exasperation. “Okay, what am I missing?”
When Nick faltered a moment, Jake put his arm around his shoulders and took over. “Nick’s a submissive. My submissive.”
If Devon’s jaw dropped any lower , it would’ve been at his knees. Nick felt uncomfortable as it took a few moments for his brother to recover from the shock. Dev scratched his head while gathering his thoughts. “Holy…um, wow. Didn’t see that coming.”
Beside him, Kristen giggled. “Those were Kayla’s exact words, Master.”
Frowning and crossing his arms again, Dev glanced from Nick to his teammate, the man he considered to be another brother. “Jake, I’ve got no problem with the two of you hooking up for a fling, but Nick’s never expressed interest in the lifestyle. I’m just worried this isn’t for him. I mean, isn’t this sudden? And no offense, but you’re not known for long term relationships. I don’t want either one of you getting hurt if this goes south.”
Nick tensed but held his tongue when Jake squeezed his shoulder. Yeah, this was one of those times he would have to let his Dom be…well, his Dom. Jake didn’t seem to take offense at Dev’s statements as much as Nick did. “Well, it’s not as sudden as it seems to everyone else. We actually got together after your wedding, and although I was a little resistant to becoming a couple for the reasons you stated, and a few more you didn’t, Nick seemed to have other ideas. Yeah, this is new for him, but we were all new to it at one time or another. And I know I don’t have a great track record with relationships, but you and your new bride are exhibits A and B in my defense, Dev. A year ago, this was just a world Kristen wrote about, but then she met you—the Dom who introduced her to the lifestyle. The Dom who never spent more than a weekend with a sub and hadn’t been on a real date in over ten years. You’re the last person here who should be against this. I expected it from Ian, not you.” Devon still seemed to be struggling with the new situation as Jake continued. “The only thing I’m worried about at the moment is Nick being uncomfortable with the fact that he is indeed a sexual submissive, when outside the lifestyle, he’s a pure alpha.”
He wasn’t stupid enough to roll his eyes in front of a bunch of Dominants, but mentally that’s what Nick was doing. Jeez, his brothers and Jake were standing at the bar of a sex club, talking about his sex life, in front of two women. Could anything be more embarrassing than that?
Lifting her hand to shoulder height, Mistress China wiggled her fingers at the other Dominants. “But I think we found a solution to that for now. Nick can be classified at the club as a switch.”
Ian raised an eyebrow. “That’s not a bad idea. The subs call him Master anyway. We have several male and female switches here, so no one would think anything of it.”
“Are you…” Devon paused. His question was about to be directed at Nick, but he caught himself and glanced to Jake for permission—that’s the way things were done in this D/s setting. A nod of the head told him to continue. “Are you sure this is what you want, Nick? I’m not trying to be a ball-buster, but this isn’t a game we play here. I know you’ve observed a lot when you’ve visited, but do you really understand what this is all about?”
The tone of his voice told Nick his brother was sincerely concerned about Jake and him. While he was grateful Dev cared, no one was going to change his mind about this. If he didn’t give this a try, he knew he’d regret it for the rest of his life. Straightening his stance, he eyed Devon. “Yeah, I do. I’ve been doing a lot of research and after talking to the girls yesterday, I’m more convinced than I was before. I don’t know what’s going to happen down the road, none of us do. But I do know if I walked out that door now and never came back, a part of me would be left behind.”
Trained as SEALs, they never left a man behind in combat. It was a loose analogy, but one that his brother got. Dev stared at him for a moment, but Nick refused to back down. This was his life, and he knew his brothers meant well, but the final decision was his to make.
“All right, little brother. I wish you both the best and I hope it works out. We love you both, so don’t go fucking this up, okay?”
Ian groaned and rolled his eyes. “Do not…I repeat…do not call for a group hug, because I’m still bitching that Angie is gone for the weekend and I refuse to get all touchy-feely with you people. I need a fucking drink.”
As their older brother stepped closer to the bar and hailed the bartender, Devon held his hand out and Nick, then Jake, shook it. Taking Kristen by the elbow, her Dom gave her a tug toward the grand staircase. “Come on, Pet. You’re the only one I want to get touchy-feely with right now.”
CHAPTER 22
As Mistress China left the two of them alone, Jake felt Nick’s shoulders relax. He didn’t blame him for being stressed out over everything, but a Dom knew how to relieve that anxiety. Stepping in front of his sub, Jake blocked his view of the rest of the club and waited until their eyes met. “You okay?”
“Yeah. I mean, I know they care about both of us, but this has nothing to do with them. I didn’t expect that from Dev.”
“Devil Dog is just worried about you. And rightfully so.” He ignored Nick’s frown. “Any experienced Dom worries about a new submissive, whether it’s a family member, friend, or someone they’ve never met. This lifestyle isn’t for everyone, and we’ve all seen people become Doms or subs for the wrong reasons. We’ve also seen subs leave the lifestyle because of a bad encounter with an inexperienced or callous Dom. Questioning a new submissive is very common, Nick. Top it off with the fact they are your brothers, I would be more concerned if they didn’t question your decision. All right?”
Nick nodded as the last of the tension eased from his body. “Yeah. I’m good. And you’re right.”
He couldn’t help the smirk which spread across his face. “Of course I am.” Nick smiled as he intended. Glancing over his shoulder, Jake spotted the next person he needed to talk to. Turning back to his sub, he instructed, “Go downstairs and see if there’s a room available. If there is, tell whoever’s on dungeon duty that you’re with me, then w
ait for me in the room. Strip down to your briefs and present before I get there.”
Taking a deep breath and letting it out, Nick dipped his head once. “Yes, Sir.”
Damn, he loved hearing that from him. As his submissive walked toward the stairs, Jake took a moment to watch him. Nick’s jeans hugged his ass like a glove and emphasized his cut waist. A snug T-shirt enhanced the broad shoulders and muscular upper arms. That body should come with an explosives warning. Boom.
When Nick disappeared from his sight, Jake headed toward the other end of the bar where Dr. Roxanne London, a pediatrician, and her wife/submissive, Kayla, were having a glass of wine. They were friends of Kristen’s and had joined the private club almost a year ago. Roxy was experienced with the bullwhip and was on her way to being approved as a Whip Master at the club, along with two other Doms. Every new Dominant member had to take classes at The Covenant before being cleared to play. The first class covered general play such as spankings, ball-gags, basic restraints, and such, while the rest of the classes included the more dangerous types of play—whips, canes, wax-play, and Shibari rope bondage, among other more skilled activities.
“Good evening, ladies.” After they returned his greeting, he addressed Roxy. “Mistress, I have a favor to ask. Normally I would request a moment alone, but since your subbie already knows about my new submissive, I have no problem with her staying.”
Mistress Roxy’s eyebrow went up as she eyed Kayla then Jake. “I didn’t know you had taken up with a new sub, Jake. Someone we know?”
He grinned at Kayla. “You want to tell her?”
The five-foot-two blonde was a complete contrast to her seven inches taller, red-haired Domme, but they were a perfect complement to each other. Kayla giggled as she fingered her leather and silver collar. “It seems Master Nick is actually a submissive, Mistress. And I’m very happy for you both, Master Jake. I assume he told you about the conversation he had with Kristen, Kate, and I, and I hope we helped him make the right decision. He had a lot of questions and we tried to be neutral with our answers, so we didn’t influence him one way or the other. We wanted him to make up his own mind. Did he do the research we suggested?”
Topping the Alpha: Trident Security Series Page 15