by Kahlen Aymes
“A guy like me, that’s rude as fuck Shelly.”
“You know what I mean, you’re a jock who prances around campus with a different freak on your arm every week. She’s a good girl, shy as you can see. I don’t think a guy has ever spoken to her before, I could tell by the shocked expression on her face when you spoke to her she wasn't expecting that."
“Shelly, you know me. I don’t date those girls, I don’t even party with the majority of them. They’re just there.”
“That right there is why Lindy did that.”
“Okay, I give. Why did she do that?”
“Because for you girls are just there, every girl in this school has had a crush on you at some point in their lives.”
“Oh Shelly, I didn’t know you cared.”
“Do you want me to explain, or not?”
“I’m sorry, please go on.”
“Girls have crushed on you since we were in kindergarten, these girls today wear whatever they can to show off skin or so tight they can't sit down. They fall all over you, worshiping you. Every game you are in, the stands are always packed with girls hoping to get a smile from you. When you entertain that, you get a reputation. Now, you may or may not be okay with your reputation but to be honest, if we weren’t friends already I wouldn’t want to be.”
“What kind of reputation do I have?”
“Well, as I’ve heard it a lot in different circumstances. You’re a love them and leave them type.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means what I said, you love them you leave them. Rumor is, you go out with a girl, you fuck and then you’re onto the next.”
“That’s not how I am though.”
“That’s how you’re perceived. Girls talk and if you reject them, they talk shit. That’s just how it goes. It hurts your credibility that this week I’ve seen you with four different girls, each one of them holding onto you like they’re your girlfriend.”
“I was just going along with what everyone else did, how everyone else acted.”
“You used to be different.”
“I know.” I conceded.
“Also, you don’t notice the good ones like Lindy. You only notice the ones willing to give you whatever you want at the time they’re with you.”
“You make me sound like a whore.”
“Well, if the rumor fits.”
I let Shelly’s words absorb into my brain, I had a lot to think about. Did others perceive me as a manwhore? When the warning bell rung I grabbed my backpack and thanked Shelly, I had a lot of thinking to do.
Slipping into AP English, I took my seat in the back. Mr. Roberts never called on me so I could sit back here and ponder everything Shelly said.
“Okay class, since school is almost over for those of you who are seniors I still have lessons to teach. Therefore, I’m handing out these packets, please take one and pass it back. This counts as half your grade for those of you juniors and under, for seniors this will be extra credit.”
The person in front of me handed me the packet as I looked up something caught my eye. How could I have been so blind that Lindy was in class with me and I never noticed her, not even once? The guy who sat behind her had tapped her on the shoulder, I watched as she turned around to speak to him. She smiled and my chest ached, what in the hell is that all about?
He passed her a slip of paper she read before nodding her head, with these actions, I became agitated. I dove into my work filling out the packet and finishing before anyone else, giving me the opportunity to sit back and watch Lindy.
Every little movement she made captivated me. The way she brushed her hair back from her ear to the way she seemed to daydream for a second or two before catching herself and going back to her work. She was unlike any girl I had known, the way she carried herself and the way she acted to the people around her was refreshing. I spent the better part of my days watching girls falling all over themselves flirting with whoever looked at them and here Lindy was going about her school day not caring how people looked at her.
That day I became a stalker, a voyeur if you will, I became consumed by Lindy and with her differences and I had to know more. With my newfound stalker status, I watched how other girls looked at her. Girls with painted on faces that wanted to have the natural beauty that this girl possessed looked down on her and I also noticed that other people didn’t even give her a second glance.
She had friends, she had friends in every school clique. From the emo kids to the stoners, she seemed to fit in well. The popular clique, the group I was part of, she avoided it at all costs.
One day a week later, I got to see first-hand one of her friends get tripped by two of my so-called friends and went flying across the floor. The old me would have laughed but I became angry.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I yelled out to the group that surrounded me.
None of them spoke as I pushed my way from the group and over to the kid kneeling on the ground trying to pick up his papers and books that flew out of his hands during the aftermath of his fall.
“I’m sorry about them, they don’t reflect how the rest of us act.”
“It’s okay Clinton, it’s not like it’s the first time or the last.”
I looked him dead in the eye and nodded. “It will be the last time for you, I promise.” I handed him back the last book and helped him to his feet. “Get to class, I'll take care of this.”
Turning around my friends stood in a half circle behind us.
“What the fuck, Delaney? You friends with the nerd herd?”
“No, I’m not...”
“I thought so.”
“You thought nothing, I didn’t finish my sentence. What I was saying is no, I’m not friends with that kid but I should have been instead of being friends with you.”
“The fuck?”
“I’ve been such an asshole, laughing at other people’s misfortunes, not stepping in when you fucked with a kid because he wasn’t wearing hundred dollar sneakers or driving a car made before he was born. Let’s not forget how you treat girls.”
“Don’t act so innocent, you’re just as bad.”
"See, right there is where you were wrong. I may talk to girls, they're nice and want to be around me, I even took a few on dates. I never found one who wanted anything more out of life than dating a jock and what presents they could get. I even heard a few of them talking about getting pregnant on purpose to trap one of you idiots.”
“Don’t fuck with the whores, Delaney.” One guy yelled out.
“I don’t fuck with anyone for that purpose, I don’t know if anyone has good intentions anymore. I know my friends don’t. Soon we’ll be out of high school, headed to college where shit like this won’t fly. There will be bigger and tougher people out there and you’re liable to fuck with the wrong one who kicks the crap out of you instead of just grabbing their things and leaving. I want so much more than this shit.” I waved my hands around the group.
The group looked at me and then at themselves as if pondering over what I had said to them.
“Clinton’s right, what are we doing? Ever since we became seniors, we’ve become bigger dicks to people. We shit on girls all the time for no reason, it's not cool.” Jeremy, my best friend since kindergarten said.
“You’re just agreeing with him because you’re his buddy.”
“Fuck off Tyler, I’m sick of you acting like you rule everyone.” Another guy yelled out followed by agreements.
A few minutes of the group saying they hated what their friendships had evolved into, Tyler got upset cussed us all out before storming off down the opposite end of the hallway. Not that I got into confrontations often, I knew the path we were all going on wasn't one I wanted to be a part of anymore.
Last bell rung and I turned to go to my next class when I looked up and saw Lindy standing at the end of the hallway, books clutched in her arms. She mouthed ‘thank you’ followed by a smile that could light the darkest of days b
efore she turned and left.
Having Lindy acknowledge me for something was pretty fucking spectacular.
Chapter Two
Clinton
Over the next few days after dealing with my ex-friend Tyler, I noticed a change in Lindy. She acknowledged me in little ways. In the beginning, when she would catch me staring at her, she’d go wide-eyed and red faced which transitioned into small smiles with the biting of her lower lip to where we are now, she smiles these big toothy grins before waving at me while her cheeks go a shade of pink.
Every day I try to psych myself up to go talk to her, I’m just not convinced that if I tried she wouldn’t run away like she did that first day. I wanted her to come on her own I still hoped she would.
When I got to AP English class, the only class I shared with her. I took my seat in the back of the class like I did every day and waited for her to show up. I hadn’t seen her yet, which was odd because most mornings lately I would wait in the parking lot just to see her, just to see that first morning smile meant only for me but she hadn’t arrived by the time I left for an early morning meeting.
When class started and Lindy still wasn’t there, I grew worried. When I came across Shelly in the hall after my English class I had to find out if she knew anything.
“Hey, Shelly.”
“Hey, Clinton.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“You kinda just did.”
“I’m being serious right now.”
“Sor-ree dude, just trying to make light of the situation. What’s your question?”
“Do you know where Lindy is? She wasn’t in class and I’m kinda worried.”
“Why Clinton Delaney, do you have a crush on my friend Lindy?”
“Look, do you know where she is or what?”
“Oh, you wanna get rude? I have to go.”
“No, wait, I’m sorry. Forgive me, please.”
Shelly looked at me for a minute before she sighed a long drawn out exaggerated sigh. “Yes I do, but not because she confided in me but because I overheard her telling Mr. Moriarty she wouldn’t be around today when he asked her if she could attend the talent show meeting during free period.”
“Okay, so where is she?”
“Look, Clinton, What I will say is that I want you to understand it’s not you.”
“Lay it on me.”
“I can’t tell you why she isn’t here.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s not my place to say, so I’m asking you to please not push this. I won’t change my mind. This is her thing and I like Lindy, I don’t want her to hate me for sharing her business without her permission.”
I was not angry at Shelly’s answer but I understood why she didn’t want to share that info. “Well, if you talk to her will you let her know I missed her wave this morning?”
“Oh Clinton, you care about her.” Shelly awed.
I shook my head with a humph. “Now, I have to go,” I said before walking away from her, her laughter following behind me.
Lindy remained on my mind for the rest of the day, I hoped that she was okay. After school I didn’t want to go straight home like I normally did, I took a ride around town first. Halfway into my drive, a car passed me going in the opposite direction, a car that looked just like the one that Lindy drove in the same metallic blue hers is. I whipped a U-turn at the nearest intersection and drove down the road in hopes of finding out if it was her or not.
I was a block behind the car when I was stopped at a light, I watched as the car turned right into the parking lot for a grocery store. When my light turned green, I proceeded in that direction. When I pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store, I saw that the car I had been following was in a space the next row over and empty. I parked my car and almost ran towards the front door of the store.
When inside I walked past every aisle to find her, just as I was about to give up I found her standing in the middle of the ice cream section, staring, unmoving.
“Lindy?” I called out and seemed to startle her out of her ice cream induced trance.
When she looked up, I noticed that her face was patchy and red, her eyes were glassy and she looked like at any second she would cry.
“Hey, I thought it was you. Are you okay?”
“Um,” She said as she shook her head as if she couldn’t believe I was standing there. “Hi Clinton, I’m okay.”
“Are you sure? You look like you’ve been crying.” I said to her and she nodded.
Before she could answer, a guy walked up behind her.
“Hey sweetheart, everything okay?”
Was this guy her boyfriend? Is that why she didn’t date guys or go any further than just a smile and wave with me. Is it because she likes older dudes? I was a tad bit jealous.
“Yeah, everything is fine. This is my friend Clinton, he’s in my AP English class.”
Friend, she called me her friend and I wanted to fist pump at the progress we’ve made. However, the way the guy was looking at me made me want to punch him square in the mouth.
“Clinton, this is Thomas Flannery.”
Thomas the douchebag, I thought.
“My Dad.”
Dad? Fuck me.
“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Flannery.”
“Thomas, please. It’s nice to meet you, Clinton.”
“I didn’t mean to interrupt, I saw Lindy here in the aisle and I came over to say hello and to fill her in on the extra credit we got today. I am convinced he wants us all to have four point ohs for our final grade.”
“Well, there’s nothing wrong with that. Can’t hurt to have that extra boost. Sorry for being too forward, you’re Clinton Delaney, the team captain?”
“Yes sir, baseball and football.”
“Have you chosen a college yet? Will we get to see you playing for a pro team one day?”
“Well, that’s a funny story.” I laughed.
I saw how Lindy looked up her smile just seemed to take all the confliction away.
“No one knows this but I won’t be playing sports in college,” I admitted and Lindy gasped. “Sports were not where I wanted my focus. I liked the team camaraderie but the hits all of the injuries, they scared me. I got a concussion in my sophomore year and hated it, I worried that this is what my life would be like. People in my position end up with a lot of negativity. However, most think it’s okay because of the money.”
“You’re right, a lot of neurological issues are beginning to come out in more players as they age. Quarterbacks that take hits from players that are three times their size are often affected the most. The money isn’t worth it if you have to spend all of it having to take care of yourself.”
“That's what I thought, I see a lot of my heroes end up destitute because they’ve had to pay a whole lot of their money trying to make themselves well again. So I opted to go to medical school, I want to become a neurologist.” I admitted and then the strangest thing happened, Lindy burst into tears and ran away.
Turning, I was planning to run after her but a hand on my bicep stopped me. I turned to look at Thomas’ face and he was almost in tears.
“Let her go, son.”
“I don’t know what happened, did I say something?”
“Look, I don’t normally pry into my daughter’s private life. Or in Lindy’s case, her lack thereof. However, I know I’ve heard your name a few times and not because of sports. When you mentioned neurology, it struck a cord with Lindy. No one knows about this but I will tell you, then I will tell you where to find her while I call for a ride home.”
“I can give you a ride, sir.”
“No, you should go to Lindy. Today is Lindy’s birthday, it’s a day she’s hated ever since she realized what the day was also for her. I drug Lindy out of her bed with the promise of ice cream and nothing more, so imagine my surprise when I saw you standing here and she was my little girl again on a day she tries to forget.”
I watched as Thomas reac
hed into the freezer, grabbing a small pint of ice cream before asking me to follow him. Thomas snatched two spoons and a stack of napkins from the salad bar on our way to the cash register to pay. Once it was in a bag, he handed it to me.
“This will help ease the pain.”
“What pain is she in? Is she sick? Can I help?”
Thomas and I stood under the awning of the grocery store as he looked out into the parking lot, I watched as a tear slid down his cheek.
“Eighteen years ago today, I welcomed my baby girl into the world. There was nothing more precious than holding that little girl in my arms while her mother looked on wearing a big huge smile. Other than the color of her eyes, she looks like Larissa did when she was eighteen. Lindy’s gone to Harper’s road park, there is a spot at the top of the hill that’s where you’ll find her.” He said before pulling out his phone.
“Sir?”
“Go on, just make sure you give her the ice cream first.”
Chapter Three
Clinton
I took what Lindy’s father said and I took off towards the park, I took the backroads as much as I could to avoid the traffic. I got to the almost empty park and I followed the road towards the back, the further I drove in the more I didn’t think she was here. What if she got caught up in the traffic I avoided? What if her dad was wrong and she didn’t come here. I was just about to turn around and leave when a little glint in the distance caught my eye.
In the back under a huge willow tree sat Lindy’s blue car, I drove with purpose towards it parking right next to it. I climbed out of my car grabbing the bag with the ice cream before looking around. Sure enough on the other side, there was a hill where a bench sat and there Lindy was sitting. Running up the hill, I ran at an angle so she didn’t get scared when I approached.
Lindy must have heard something then as I watched her head turn to see me coming, I heard a loud squeaky noise and her hand slapped over her mouth.
I got to the bench, almost out of breath. I stood there panting before her as she looked up at me wide eyed. “I didn’t mean to scare you, your dad told me where I could find you.” I said just as I thrust my hand holding the bag with the ice cream in it forward.