by I. T. Lucas
“Wait a few months until you do. Don’t call them from here or the club either. I’ll get you a burner phone.”
“I have one.”
Not the kind he was talking about. “I’ll get you a safer one. You can trust me to know which one is best.”
Her green eyes pinned his with an unreadable expression. “I trust you with my life.”
Chapter 42: Callie
Brundar gazed at her as if she’d grown horns. But Callie had meant it.
“Don’t look at me as if I’m missing a screw. I still don’t know why you’re doing all of this for me, but I know that without you none of this would have been possible. You gave me my life back. If not for you, I would’ve been still trapped with Shawn, and one day he might’ve snapped and beaten me to death. So yeah, I trust you with my life. Deal with it.” She grabbed his plate and hers and carried both to the sink.
She’d never met a more frustrating and confusing man.
He was her angel, but there was palpable darkness in him. It was leashed and contained, but for better or worse it was there. She could deal with it, even embrace it, because without it Brundar would not be who he was—her fierce protector.
That wasn’t the problem, though. She needed to understand his motives, she needed him to open up to her, she needed to have him.
It was a need more than a want. On some primitive level, she felt that he belonged to her, and she was more than willing to give herself to him. The attraction didn’t make sense. So yeah, he was criminally handsome, and right now he was her only friend, but it was like falling for a robot. A capable, helpful creature like one of the cyborgs she’d read about in her sci-fi romance novels.
“Why are you angry?” He seemed truly perplexed.
She dropped the plate she was rinsing into the soapy water and turned around to glare at him. “You want to know why I am angry?”
It was a rhetorical question, but he answered it anyway. “Yes. I just asked you that.”
God, what was wrong with this man?
“I’m frustrated.”
“With me?”
“Yes, with you.” She walked up to him, invading his personal space. “Are you attracted to me, Brundar?”
He swallowed. “Of course I am. Who wouldn’t be?”
“Good.” She took a step closer, crowding him. “Then you won’t mind this.” She cupped his cheeks and kissed him.
He stiffened, not responding to her kiss, keeping his lips tightly pressed and not allowing her tongue inside.
Crap. What the hell had gotten into her? Was she trying to dominate a dominant?
No wonder he didn’t want that.
Callie took a step back. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have.” She turned, intending to flee into the bedroom and bury her flaming face in a pillow.
He caught her elbow. “Wait.”
Embarrassed, she closed her eyes as he turned her around, refusing to look at him.
“Look at me, Calypso,” he commanded.
She shook her head.
His fingers closed on her chin.
“Open your beautiful green eyes and look at me,” Brundar repeated softly.
He thought her eyes were beautiful? Gathering her courage, she opened her eyes.
“I want you. But not like that.”
“Not like what?”
“I have to be in total control. Do you understand?”
She nodded.
“I can’t have you kiss me. I can’t even have you touch me.”
“I know you don’t want to be touched, and I’m sorry I did. Well, I’m not. But you know what I mean. It was an impulse. But are you going to touch me? Because I really need you to. Is that okay for me to say? Or is it not allowed either? You never told me the rules. I don’t know what’s okay and what’s not. It’s all so confusing. You’re so confusing. I don’t know what you want from me—” She was blabbering, but she was so sick of holding it all in.
He put a finger to her lips to shush her. “Yes. I’m going to touch you. But you might not like my rules. And that’s okay. The only way this works is if your rules and mine don’t conflict.”
Callie let out a breath. That made sense, and it made her feel more in control. Somehow she’d managed to push him a tiny step closer. “Tell me.”
He sighed. “First rule. No emotional entanglement. Not because you’re not great but because I can’t. There are things about me I can never tell you that make a relationship impossible.”
He might as well have stabbed her heart with a knife. The pain of his rejection was sharp and all consuming. She needed to at least understand why.
“Is it something personal? Something about me? Am I missing something?”
He shook his head and parted his legs, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer.
She remembered he didn’t want her to touch him, and even though her hands itched to burrow into his beautiful blond hair, she fisted them by her sides.
“You’re perfect. And if I were free to do as I please, I would have made you mine and never let you go. But I’m not.”
He’d told her he lived with his brother. Had he lied? “Are you married? Do you have someone?”
He chuckled. “I’m married to my job and my duties.”
An excuse if she’d ever heard one.
“A lot of people have demanding jobs.”
“My job prohibits a relationship with a—” He stopped. “A woman.”
She humphed. “Does it allow a relationship with a man?”
He smacked her butt, igniting her arousal. “Don’t be a smart ass, Calypso.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Or what? You’ll spank me? I’m shaking in my proverbial boots.”
Another smack followed, harder than the first. “At this rate, you won’t be able to sit by the time I finish the list of rules.”
She shrugged.
Brundar shook his head. “You’re enjoying this too much for it to be effective.”
He had that right. If she could think of another smart-ass remark, she would have made it. “I’m listening.”
“Good girl.” He patted her behind. “Rule number two. You’re not allowed to touch me, which brings me to the last rule. If we get intimate, you’ll be tied up and blindfolded. That’s the only way I play.”
Callie frowned. It required a lot of trust, especially since all they had done until now was kiss. What if she got scared? She’d never been tied up or blindfolded before. Still, his list of rules was surprisingly short.
“That’s it? I don’t have to call you sir or anything?” She could deal with calling him sir, but she was never going to call him master.
A smile tugged at one corner of his lips. “Only if you feel like it.”
“How about treating you with respect and stuff like that?”
“You already do. Most of the time. But that has nothing to do with playtime. I expect respect from everyone I come in contact with, and provided they do, I respond in kind.”
Funny he would say that. Apparently, Brundar didn’t realize how his curt answers could be perceived as rude. His definition of respectful was very different than hers.
“I like that. Being polite is important to me.”
“Good, any other questions? Anything you disagree with?”
“No. I’m game. But what if I get scared? Or overwhelmed? I like you, and I trust you, but we’ve never done anything aside from kissing. Which by the way, was amazing. But it’s difficult for me to leap from that straight to bondage. Do you know what I mean?”
Chapter 43: Brundar
Brundar knew exactly what she meant. A newbie wasn’t ready for bondage. Not with someone she didn’t know well and didn’t spend a lot of time with.
Telling her that it was the only way he did things would hopefully deter her from her tenacious pursuit of him. Brundar wasn’t strong enough to keep pushing her away. It was difficult enough to control his attraction to her, doing it on two fronts was impossible even for a fighter lik
e him.
The only way to stop that thing between them from moving forward was for Calypso to realize that he wasn’t what she wanted. The other option was him walking out the door and never coming back.
He’d tried to distance himself from her, but it didn’t work. The pull was too strong.
“I know, sweetling. You’re not ready for someone like me.”
Eyes cast down, Calypso chewed on her lower lip. “I want to try. If I tell you to stop, will you?”
Fates, why the hell was he so relieved that she still wanted him?
He could’ve said that he wouldn’t, scaring her off. Instead, he told her the truth. “Yes. Immediately.”
She nodded, then sighed. “I know you don’t like to talk a lot, but there is so much I don’t know, and so much you can tell me.”
Sweet girl. She was so brave.
Calypso deserved so much more than he had to offer. The least he could do was sate her curiosity. For her, he would make an effort and talk. Hell, if it made her happy, he would talk from now until next morning.
The thing was, he wasn’t sure he could answer all of her questions.
Brundar didn’t dwell on the psychology of the various kinks people engaged in. He couldn’t explain them to her even if he tried. He wasn’t even sure if his particular kink was the result of what had happened to him as a boy, or if the need for control was just a part of who he was, his genetic makeup.
Pushing to his feet he took her hand, walked her over to the couch, sat down, and pulled her onto his lap.
The world righted itself.
Calypso leaned against him, her body molding into his. Without him having to remind her, she tucked her hands between her thighs.
Good girl.
“I’ll do my best to answer your questions. But the truth is that I’m not an expert.”
“You’re not?”
“I know a hundred ways to tie a woman up, and just as many to bring her pleasure. I’m also an expert with the whip.”
Callie shivered, and he tightened his arms around her. “I know how to use it correctly, but it’s not something I enjoy doing. I’m not a sadist.”
She let out a breath. “Thank God. I can’t even imagine the pain. Why would anyone want that?”
He chuckled. “That’s one of the questions I’m not qualified to answer. For myself, I know that a punishment like that can be cathartic, but it’s not something that excites me sexually.”
She frowned. “Have you ever been whipped? Or are you talking hypothetically?”
He shifted, the almost healed scars on his back more itchy than painful. Kri had tried her best, but she had a lot to learn about wielding a whip.
“The first one.”
She looked at him with horrified eyes. “Why? Who did it to you?”
Fates, how could he explain this to her in a way she could understand?
“It was ceremonial.”
“What do you mean? Like hazing?”
Not exactly, but it would do. “Yeah. Something like that.”
She shook her head, her eyes blazing with anger. “God. Men are such morons, always coming up with crazy and crazier ideas to prove worthy of their dicks.”
He smacked her flank. “Watch it. That wasn’t cordial or respectful in the least.”
Calypso wiggled on his lap. “I don’t remember spanking on your very short list.”
It wasn’t, but the scent of her arousal intensified after each smack. Sweet Calypso enjoyed a little playful spanking.
“It’s not on mine. But it’s on yours.”
A deep blush bloomed on her cheeks. “How do you know what’s on my list?”
Another thing he couldn’t tell her. “An educated guess. You just squirmed on my lap, and it wasn’t because you were in pain. I didn’t smack you hard enough for it to hurt.”
She pouted. “It did.”
He might need to add another rule. Honesty was not something he required from his playmates, but he needed it from Calypso. It was hypocritical of him to demand truth from her while he piled lie after lie, but that was different. He lied to protect his people, she lied because she was embarrassed to admit what turned her on.
It wasn’t going to work unless she talked to him.
“Don’t lie to me. That’s another rule.”
She wiggled again. “What are you going to do about it?” Her voice got husky.
“I’m going to turn you over my knee and spank your cute little ass until you admit the lie, say you’re sorry, and mean it.” He teased her, knowing it turned her on.
“What if I like it?”
“I promise you will not.”
“You’ll punish me? For real?” She looked worried.
“Only if you want me to.”
Closing her eyes, she put her head on his chest. “This is all so confusing. Why would I want you to punish me?”
“The why isn’t important. Only the what. You make your own rules, and it’s okay to change them and make adjustments as you go. You might think you like something and then realize you don’t, or the other way around. But you won’t know until you try.”
“It’s all a big game. Isn’t it?”
“That’s why I call it playing.”
“Is everyone in the club like that? Or is it just you?”
He shrugged. “As with every type of game, some take it more seriously than others. Some like to play twenty-four-seven, while others like to play once a month, and everything in between.”
She seemed confused. “I don’t know what my rules are. And what happens if I refuse one of yours or you refuse one of mine?”
“There are hard rules and soft rules. The rules I laid out for you are my hard rules. If you refuse, we don’t play, and the same goes for you.”
“Is there a chance your hard rules will one day become soft rules?” she whispered.
Fates, there had been so much hope in that whisper, he knew he was going to disappoint her no matter how hard he tried not to.
It wasn’t that he hadn’t harbored the same insane hope, a hope that one day he would find his fated mate and would crave her touch as much as she craved his. But Calypso could never be that mate. All she could be was a transitional lover he would have to abandon sooner rather than later.
The only reason he was succumbing to her was that she needed guidance and he hated the idea of her falling into the hands of some pervert who might hurt her. He would teach her the right way to go about it, help her explore her needs and once she was ready he would disappear from her life.
“Not likely. If you can’t accept them, we’d better stop right now.”
She lifted her eyes to him. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily. I’ll take whatever you can give me and love every moment of it.”
He lifted a brow. “And you know this because?”
“I just do. Call it a woman’s intuition.”
Right. A woman’s intuition. Calypso’s was obviously malfunctioning. If it were working right, she would not be sitting in his lap, hoping for a future that couldn’t be.
His phone buzzed, and he pulled it out of his pocket.
“It’s not a good time, Anandur.”
“We need you at County. Roni is transitioning.”
Damnation. They needed him for the extraction. Other than Yamanu, his shrouding and thralling abilities were the strongest. “Take Yamanu.”
“Are you serious? And miss all the fun?”
Yeah. It was a rare opportunity to practice his skills, but he had more important things to do.
“Yes. Is he okay to go?”
“Of course he is. I just wanted to save this for you.”
“Some other time.”
“There won’t be another time.”
“There always is.” He clicked the call off.
“What was that about?” Calypso asked.
“My brother wanted me to take part in a prank.”
She lifted a brow. “You? Pranking someone? Boy, did he
choose the wrong man.”
“My thoughts exactly.”
Chapter 44: Brundar
The phone call had been a most welcome pattern interrupt. Brundar had allowed himself to get carried away.
What the hell was he thinking, sitting with her in his lap as if they were lovers?
She needed information and he was more than willing to provide it, but he shouldn’t have done it in such an intimate setting. Calypso’s arousal was playing a number on him. He was hard as a rock, and it hadn’t gone unnoticed.
Calypso’s cheeks were flushed, her eyes glazed in desire. They both needed a splash of cold water to break the spell.
“Come on.” He lifted her off his lap and helped her to her feet.
She looked confused for a moment, then glanced at her watch before lifting her gaze to him with a frown wrinkling her forehead. “It’s not time for my shift yet.”
“I know. You need a tour.” He stood up.
Her breath hitched. “You’re taking me to the club? I mean to the lower level?”
“Yes.”
“I thought not being twenty-eight I wasn’t allowed in there.”
“Not as a member and not as an employee, but there is nothing prohibiting me from taking you on a tour. There is no one there this time of day during midweek.”
She swallowed. “I need to get dressed first.”
“Take your time.” He sat back and crossed his legs. “I’ll wait.”
“I won’t be long.” She hurried off to her bedroom.
As he waited for Calypso to get ready, Brundar wondered what would scare her off. He could show her the various rooms and the equipment they housed. Some of them were set up for those with darker tastes, the instruments of torture sure to terrify her.
Calypso wasn’t a masochist, and she seemed fairly emphatic. Just imagining what went on in those rooms should cool her off.
By the time the tour was over, sex would be the farthest thing from her mind.
Which was his goal. The scent of her arousal was scrambling his brain. It was impossible to be around her and resist such powerful and blatant invitation.
“I’m ready.” She came back, the strap of her purse slung over her shoulder, wearing the club’s informal uniform of black jeans and black T-shirt with Franco’s logo embossed in red on the right breast.