“Can I buy you lunch?”
“Deal.”
My phone pinged then with a text message from my mom. Then another one. And another. Three in total.
You need to come home tonight no excuse. ~Mom
Something big is happening and I need your help with dinner. ~Mom
In fact, head on over now if you can. You’ve missed a lot this last week, Beau. We need to have a chat about this job that’s keeping you away from the family. ~Mom
“On secondthought…how would you like to meet my family instead?” Smile forced, I begged with my eyes for her not to abandon me.
“You need a crutch.”
“Fuck and yes. Please.” Was about to drop to my knees in the middle of the sidewalk, when she slapped my arm and nodded.“Thank you,” I breathed out,“and if theyask, you work at H. P. Builders too. That’ll keep them from asking questions, I don’thave answers to.”
“Lead the way, Beau. Just lead the way.”
The drive back to my childhood home was short, considering it was the middle of rush hour. It was well past five o’clock when I parked my car in the driveway.
It’d taken longer to stuff our faces than to get here.
Burgers, fries, and a strawberry milkshake had hit the spot. More than made what was coming bearable. Anytime you were full, things that could bother you on a normal day, didn’t.
I was stuffed and ready to face the firing squad.“Twenty bucks says she gets overdramatic and this entire night is about my sister Gloria. God knows what she did now.”
Zoe grabbed my arm when I made a move to open the door.“Wait…just give me two minutes.”
“Okay.” Weird chick, but she’d become my best friend these last few weeks. Our relationship was flawless, an even give and take.
“Step one: minimize conversation, Beau.” Taking a deep pull from her shake, she looked at the empty cup with longing.“Trust me, let them talk, and you answer when you’ve got no other choice than to do so. Helps keep them at bay.” She was right, and I nodded. Made sense.“Two, and this is the most importantpart, we need to go back for another milkshake once done here. God, you spoil me and I love it.”
“Shut up!” I laughed and exited the car. But it’d worked. Her silliness had lessened a bit of the tension in my body. Having her here would help a lot.
Mom was already outside and ready to start her harassment, when she noticed that I wasn’talone. Then, she was the perfect hostess.“Why didn’tyou tell me you were bringing someone with you? Those manners, child,” she scolded, then turned a warm smile toward Zoe.“Hello, dear, I’m Barbara. This brat’s mother.”
“Ouch!”
“Hush, now. You’re late,and it’s about to happen.” Looking from me to Zoe, she helda hand out for her to shake.“Welcome to our home.”
“Thank you for having me, Mrs. Carter. It’s apleasure to meet you.” Look at her laying the charm on thick. “Please don’t get too upset with Beau. My car broke down, and she picked me up so I wouldn’tbe stranded.”
“That’s my girl.” Crazy woman approved.“Now, let’s head on in before we miss it. Everyone’s out back.” She turned, and walked in while I gave Zoe a shrug because I had no clue what was happening.
Not that it took me long to figure it out.
There, in the center of the patio was Ivan, down on one knee while my sister gasped in shock. Family and friends surrounded the couple, my mother and father off to the side with a wide smile on their faces.
No one looked concerned with the fact that this was all happening too fast.
“Gloria, I’ve been in love with your sassy mind and sweet smile since you barged into my office demanding answers—telling me to do my job and fight for Aubrey.” Everyone around them laughed but me. To be honest, I think Iwent into shock at that point.“You and kiddo mean the world to me, make me happier than I’ve ever been, and I yearn to be a better man for you both each day. I love you, smiles.”
“I love you too, baby,” she whispered through tears.
“So, marry me. Let’s do this right and make our family official.” Ivan presented her with a ring, and she was nodding before it was even near her finger.
“Yes!A thousand times, yes!” Ivan slipped the ring on her finger and stood up then, swinging her around in a circle while those of us witnessing, applauded.
All eyes were on them, and yet, I couldn’t find the one person who should be here celebrating this moment.
Where was my niece?
“Aren’t you going to congratulate me, sis?” Gloria said a few minutes later,and I looked up; I’d been in a daze since he got down on one knee. Trying to process everything around me.
Was I happy for her? Yeah, I was.
There was never a moment where I doubted my own feelings toward the situation, but it’s thesuddenness that had thrown me for a loop. Zoe’s hand in mine kept me grounded; she squeezed whenever I needed to clap or act enthused.
“Congratulations, babe.” I pulled her to me and gave her a good hard squeeze. My eyes watered, and the sniffle coming from her let me know she was emotional too.“You’re going to be a stunning bride with the cutest flower girl ever. Is munchkin excited?”
“Thank you, Beau. To be honest, I thought you would scold me and say it was too fast.”
“It’s rather quick…” I looked down at her stomach“…are you?”
“No, brat,” she laughed,“but I’d like to be in the future.”
“I’m really happy for you.” Looking around the room once more, I spotted my favorite kid in her grandfather’s arms, pulling on his mustache and laughing.“Is she excited? It’s a big change for her.”
“Yeah, she really likes Ivan.” A wistful smile broke out across her face. Made her look softer.“Aubrey even lets him put her to bed. Wants him to read to her every night from one of the books you gave her last Christmas…it is too cute for words.”
That put me at ease, a weight I didn’t realize I was carrying slippingfrom my shoulders, and I let out a sigh.“She needs a dad.”
Not that piece of shit sperm donor that did nothing for her. Hadn’t seen her now in five months.
“He’s so good with her. Makes up for everything Xavierhasn’t done for her.” And then she did something that caught me off guard; she kissed my cheek. Whispered her next words low enough so that no one would hear.“Can’t wait until it’s your turn, Beau. You’re going to be an amazing wife and mother someday. I’m proud of you, kid.”
Would I have that someday with the man I loved?
And I realized then, that what I was feeling toward Gloria was jealousy. Because I wanted Hendrix to feel for me what I did for him. A task that was damn near impossible.
It was clear as day that his heart lay with someone else.
“You ready to head out?” Zoe asked me, after dinner was served and everyone had eaten. Her phone and mine had been inundated with messages, Daddies wanting to know where their sugars were.
Hers with care, and mine with demands of compliance.
“Yeah, let’s bounce.” She walked off then to say goodbye to my family, while I pulled out my phone and typed out a quick text to Hendrix.
Bad day. Need to be alone. See you tomorrow afternoon. ~Beau
Within seconds he replied, but I ignored and hugged my family before walking out. Not even Aubrey’s sweet raspberry kisses could get me out of the sudden funk I was in.
Today served to make me realize just how much I needed a timeout, a separation to get my head back on straight and remember my role in his life.
I was a signed name on a dotted line, and nothing more.
TWENTY-FOUR
Banging on my apartment door woke me.
Groggy and now grumpy, I looked over at the bedside table and groaned.“Who the hell would be knocking on my door at two-forty in the morning?Asshole better be bleeding or dying.”
Bang. Bang. Bang.
The force from each blow caused the wooden structure to shake and my wall
s to protest. It would seem their sole purpose was to wake up my entire building and have me evicted.
Afraid to have a noise complaint drawn against me, I crawled out of bed.
More knocking. Harder.
“Stop it already. I’m up!” I yelled out, before swinging the door open.“What’re you doing here?”
In hindsight, I should’ve paused and thought things through. Having on more than a nightie would help the situation. That, and looking through the godforsaken peephole in the door.
“Do you need me to answer that idiotic question?” Hendrixentered my humble apartment and slammed the door with his foot. For his every step forward, I took one back.“Answer me.”
Cat and mouse.
Hunter vs prey.
I was about to be fucked, and I knew that.
“No,” I whispered, afraid to make too much noise and cause him to snap.
He looked disheveled. Tired. Angry as all get the hell out.
The why evaded me, but what mattered was the destruction he would cause in his wake.
“What did I tell you the first night you spent in my home?” left him on a growl, the sound shooting straight down to my womb. My panties dampened, thighs pressed together.“Repeat the words. Let me make sure you understood them.”
“That I would sleep at your place,no excuses.” He reached a hand out, but before he could touch me, I ducked and went around the other side of thecouch.“But tonight was an exception; I needed some quiet time. Too much happening at once,and I was overwhelmed.”
“Don’tgive a fuck if the world around us burns to the ground, Beau.” Another step in my direction, and I eyed the door to my room. It was my sole escape from him.
“I’ll break the door down,” he seethed, closer to me now,and I panicked. Made a run for it, but I got no farther than the couch’s armrest when his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me tight against his hard body.
One second, I was standing upright, and the next face down over the edge of the sofa. Ass up, I was exposed and vulnerable.
“Wait. We should talk,” I cried out as his hand fisted my panties and pulled them down with more force than needed. The material stretched, laid tattered at my feet while his cock rubbed along my slit. Spread the visible proof of my desire before slamming balls deep into my pussy.
To the hilt, and then all the way out.“No. No talking, nymph.” Sliding the bulbous head over my puckered hole, he smacked my cheek while letting me feel his weight against my sensitive flesh.“Don’t you remember shutting me out earlier today? How many times I called or sent you a text?Worried fucking sick.” Two more slaps, and heat bloomed across thearea he’d hit.“You drove me to this. All your fault.”
“But, Hendrix, I—” The scream got caught in my throat. He bottomed out in one smooth buck of his hips, pace punishing. Didn’t stop pounding into my core—he rode me hard and fast.
Aggressive.
It evoked in me a painful pleasure; I was standing on the precipice of nirvana within a few strokes.
“Feel me, sweetheart,” he spoke into the sensitive skin at the back of my neck, his lips leaving open-mouthed kisses anywhere he could reach.“That’s it…fuck, you feel good. Too good. Might never let you go.”
It was those words that threw me over the edge. My cries were muffled into the fabric of my couch, while his groan above me reverberated throughout every sensitive inch of my body. Hot ropes of come landed on the area no one had explored, another piece of me marked by him.
Weightless, my eyes drooped and I gave in to exhaustion. The last thing I heard was his hum and something that sounded an awful lot like,“I’ll never accept her walking away. We’ll be fucked in this together.”
“Want to tell me now why you decided to stay here for the night?”
I jumped, not expecting him to still be here.“Do I have to?”
In the light of day, it seemed pathetic that I reacted the way I did to Gloria’s proposal, and the smoothness in which Ivan was accepted into the family.
For a moment there, I felt as if I were a spectator, rather than family.
“Come sit with me, nymph.” Hendrix grabbed my hand in his, while balancing a large cup of coffee with his other. I eyed that cup with longing, even let out a small whimper, which caused him to laugh.“Made it for you, whiny. Wouldn’tdream of having any kind of conversation without caffeine in your system…know better.”
“You’re smarter than you look, grouch.”
He looked back at me from over his shoulder, hazel eyes narrowed.“What’s with the nickname all of a sudden?”
“If the shoe fits…hey!” I yelled out, suddenly airborne before being settled on his lap, my head tucked under his chin.“I’m going to sue you for all the manhandling and rough treatment. My pussy aches because of you.”
“Good.” Strong hands wandered across my body, fingers exploring the tender flesh beneath his shirt which I’d pilfered the last time I took care of Aubrey. Slept in it.“Not that I mind, but when did you steal my shirt?” His tone held amusement, so I knew he wasn’t mad.
“Plead the fifth.”
“Bet I could make you talk…” One long finger slid through my folds, pausedjust outside my entrance.“Would be so easy, Beau. Want to play that game?”
“No,” I said in a needy whimper, and he chuckled against the top of my head. Immediately, his hand slipped from beneath my shirt and settled on my thigh, holdingfirm.“Then tell me what the hell is wrong with you? What upset you so much that you decided to sleep here lastnight?”
“Ivan proposed to my sister,and it threw me off.” Blurting it out seemed like the best way to handle it. Maybe he’d question me less.
“That’s it?” The disbelief in his tone caused me to look up and glare.“Nymph, that sounds like a bullshit excuse, and you know it. Give me more than that…the truth this time.”
Pushing myself up from his lap, I paced the space of my living room. Tried to get my mind and answer in sync. There was no way in hell I’d ever tell him what I felt for him.
Emotions that were throwing me off my game—kept me from seeing this crazy, intense thing between us as anything other than a business transaction.
Hendrix didn’t care for me.
As a human being? Maybe, but not like I needed him to.
“Look, Parker.” I ignored how his pupils dilated and nostrils flared when I called him that.“It was a long day and overpacked with surprises. Feeling overwhelmed is not something far-fetched.”
“Weddings are a happy occasion to most.” Didn’t miss how he phrased that. Did he not care for the institution of marriage? Had he been married and burned?
That photo album, and the picture of a happy couple spun through my mind, a nonstop reel of reminders that he had loved before. The way he watched her while she smiled at the camera, was not the look of a man taking a picture with family.
Love. Honest to God love, had come through those photos loud and clear.
“Look, I don’twant to argue or get into a heated discussion over the sanctity of marriage. That’s not what bothered me. Not at all. I’m happy for Gloria—”
“But…” he interrupted, waving his hand in the air as if telling me to get on with it.
“But, I’m tired of being an afterthought or an always dependable accessory. And before you interrupt…” he laughed at my mock glare and hand on my hip“…I have my reasons for thinking so. Everyone makes decisionsthat impact me—take away my choices—and I am expected to just keep trucking along.” My heart raced, pulse pounding in my veins. This morning it’d hit me,and talking to Hendrix now was forcing those emotions to resurface.“Want to know what my first thought after she said yes was?”
“Tell me.” He stood then and walked over to me, pulling my small body against his. Arms wrapped tightlyaround my midsection.“Let me help you.”
“My first thought was: who’s going to help her plan this wedding.” Didn’trealize I was crying until a tear rolled down my cheek and onto
the corner of my lip.“On whose shoulders would this fall on? And, Hendrix…time and time again, it comes back to me. Everyone expects me to solve every single problem in their life without giving a crap about how I’m affected in the process.”
Tipping my chin, he brought my eyes up to his.“Say no. That your job won’t allow for you to be at their disposal. Blame it all on your demanding boss.”
Moments like these, when he said or acted like he cared, confused me, blurred the lines I was fighting to stay on the right side of.
“Not that simple. Marriage is—”
“Over-fucking-rated. Do it once,and the appeal is…” Hendrix interrupted, but then clammed up. He’d said more than he wanted to.
All women have a way of connecting the dots—of putting the trail of clues together until there was a concise picture in front of us. We are detectives. Ruthless. Cunning.
And right now, my oh shit detector had gone off. Blaring red signals across my processors.
“Personal opinion,or just a general observation? Remember, you owe me a question a day. Honest answers.”
Hendrix stepped back from me, turned around,and gazed out ahead.“I’m done.”
“Is this about the picture in your office?” His entire body tensed, hands clenching into tight fists.“Because I already saw—”
“I’m going to need you to back off, Beau. Remember the contract; mind your own business. No more questions.” The finality in his tone made me relent, for now.
This conversation wasn’t done by a long shot. After the gala,we’d talk and I’d get the answers needed.
Would decide if I should lay my heart on the line or walk away with my pride intact.
Either way, my jealousy would be justified or laid to rest.
Hate that I love you.
TWENTY-FIVE
“I can do this,” was my mantra once more.
The woman reflected at me in the mirror was different. Poised and elegant, I’d even venture to say beautiful in a vain way. She was everything I always knew I could be, and yet, the tremor in my hand belonged to the fear I couldn’t bury in the sand.
Craving Sugar Page 17