“We’ve been giving you a stool softener. Are you okay to sit here for a minute while I change your bed?”
I held the cold bar with my hand, trying like hell to deal with the pain. It was mostly in my chest and my right hip, the one with the blue brace, sticking straight out in front of me.
“I can’t,” I huffed. No way in hell was I doing that. I could barely sit there. Just peeing took the rest of my energy.
“Okay, just sit there and relax. We’ll get your bed changed and get you something for the pain.”
Needless to say, my resting on the toilet in the awkward positon brought forth number two. The nurse was right outside my door, humming to a familiar tune, but I didn’t want her. I fought through the pain to wipe myself, too embarrassed to ask for help. That decision was regretted along with the one to walk to the bathroom in the first place.
I was in so much pain. Not quite as much as the night before, but close. As much as a hot shower sounded amazing, I couldn’t do it. It was too much.
“You would feel much better if you let us help you shower. Maybe put a little makeup on for that good-looking husband of yours.”
“He’s not my husband,” I said out of anger, assuring the stupid nurse with an insolent tone.
“I’m sorry. I know this must be hard for you. That was inconsiderate of me.”
Well, damn. Her smile and soft tone attenuated my attitude. My stiff posture relaxed and I recanted, but only on the outside. The inside was still angry, confused, and fed-up. I didn’t want to do it anymore. I just wanted to wake up and know. Know everything. None of this was right. I didn’t feel like Gabriella Pierce. The gospel tune nurse Julie hummed sounded more familiar than this.
My shoulder felt like it was popping out of socket when I slowly raised my arm. I scratched my itchy scalp and I withdrew again. My hair felt disgusting and I suddenly felt dirty, but I was in too much pain. I couldn’t do it. The debate on whether to shower or not lasted for two seconds before I even made a decision.
“I’ll take a shower, but I need something for the pain first.”
“Good girl,” the nurse said with a pat to my shoulder. Thank God the shower had a seat right in the center. The embarrassment that I felt before was long gone. I didn’t mind a bit that she did the washing. Everywhere. The only thing that mattered was the pain. It was too much. I needed to lay down. As much as I wanted to brush my teeth, a quick drive by once over was all I could manage. At least it was better than nothing.
My hospital bed felt amazing. I was clean, my bed was clean, and I was ten times more comfortable than when I was up. As soon as my muscle spasms stopped, I relaxed and closed my eyes. My breaths whistled between my teeth and my hand gripped the railing on my bed, praying for comfort.
“Are you sure my hip’s not broken?” I asked through painful gasps. Julie moved my leg as little as possible, situating it back into the brace, securing it with straps.
“It’s not. You have a fracture right here,” she directed with her finger, just below my knee. “Your ankle has a fracture, too,” she explained.
I half listened, feeling the pain medication kick in. I gave up as soon as she covered my legs, dropping my head to my pillow. My hand pressed in on my right side, trying to ease the pain in my ribs and chest. The light above my head went out, and Julie told me to rest. I didn’t reply. I couldn’t reply. I hurt.
Nothing was in my mind. I wasn’t frightened anymore. I didn’t think about my two little girls, my husband that I didn’t know, or the accident that I couldn’t remember. The only thing that I could think about was the pain. The pain took precedence over everything. Every thought.
My silent cries did nothing but plug my nose. Tears ran down my eyes and I sniffed, trying to ease the pain.
“Shhh. It’s okay. You’re okay. I’ve got you, baby,” I heard the acquainted soft voice of Paxton. The bed railing went down and his body moved in beside me. Right to the bed. I didn’t even bother to open my eyes. What was the point? Paxton laid on his side and pulled me to him. My upper body was turned into him, my head resting on his chest. I don’t know if it was him, the angle of my body, or the pain meds, but the pain did subside. For whatever reason, I did feel better in his arms. Comfort maybe.
No words were spoken between us. Paxton held me tight in his arms and kissed my forehead. That’s it. He did what any decent man would do for his wife. He took care of me.
Time didn’t seem to matter when you didn’t know who you were or where you belonged. I woke later in the same positon. Paxton’s chest. The rise and fall of his deep breathing told me he was asleep. A deep delta sleep. My eyes opened, but I didn’t move. Other than the pain I felt in the back of my knee, I felt at peace.
I looked up without moving my head when I felt the kiss to my head. “Feel better?”
A deep breath fell from my chest and I tried to move. Paxton didn’t let me. His strong arms were no match for my weak body.
“You smell better and you had a nice nap. I would say that’s a start. Wouldn’t you?”
“I don’t know you. I don’t think this is right,” I said, matter-of-factly in his chest.
“I’m not sure that I believe that, but I’ll play. Sounds interesting.”
“You’re such an ass. I bet our kids hate you.”
“They love me. You love me, too. You just don’t remember yet, but you will. There’s a lot you’re going to have to learn. You want a play games? You’ve gotta play by the rules, doll,” Paxton said as he slid from my bed, delicately moving me from his chest.
I squirmed my way to a sitting positon with the help of the bed. I didn’t know what to say. How the hell did you reply to something like that? The rules? What the hell? I chose to steer around that one. Avoid it altogether. “Where’s my mom?”
Paxton poured water from the pink pitcher to my cup. “How the fuck would I know? Drink.”
I sucked cool water from the straw when he held it to my lips only because I was thirsty. Not because he insisted. “We’ve been married for six years and you don’t know where my mother is?”
“You didn’t come with a mother. You didn’t come with anyone. Just you.”
“How can that be? Surely I have a family. Surely someone gave birth to me.”
“I’m your family. Rowan and Ophelia are your family. You’re good at this,” Paxton smirked with a finger, wiggling in the air toward me.
“And you’re an idiot.”
“Now you’re just stupid. Don’t ever call me that, or anything else again. Do you understand me, Gabriella?” Paxton questioned with a stern tone. His fingers dug into my chin and he held it there, forcing me to look into his pine-green eyes.
“It had to be lust. There’s no other explanation,” I said with a jerk. My neck hurt from the sudden jolt, but at least he knew I wasn’t about to cower to him. Not for one second.
The cold-hard-look on his face softened and he smiled. “Lust?”
“Yes, why else would I marry someone like you? Certainly not for your charm.”
“You love my charm. You just need to remember how much.”
“I don’t even know what that means.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll show you,” Paxton assured me as Dr. Mirage finally came to see me when I was actually awake. About time. I mean the doctor of all people should know you can’t talk to a patient right after a high dose of narcotics.
Paxton stood by my side and held my hand. I tried to pull it away, but he squeezed, keeping it right there in his. I was no match to his strength. Not in this condition.
“How do you feel?” the short doctor asked in broken English.
“Better I think, but I still don’t remember. What’s wrong with me?”
Dr. Mirage addressed me like he was giving a lecture to a class of medical students. “The brain is a very complex organ. I wish I could answer that. It took five days for the swelling in your brain to subside. I chose to keep you in a coma for four more days after that. Your body neede
d the deep NREM sleep in order to heal. It helps with repairs, regrows tissues, builds bone and muscle, and strengthens the immune system. I’m very pleased with your progress. You’ve got a couple good gashes on your head. You took a pretty hard hit, but if you keep up the progress, I’ll release you to go home? Maybe Friday.”
Paxton squeezed my hand when I spoke. I could tell it was to shut me up, but I wasn’t shutting. Go home? “What day is it?”
“It’s Tuesday,” Paxton answered.
“Go home? You can’t be serious. I don’t even know my name. You can’t just send me home with someone I don’t know.”
“I know it’s frustrating, but really all we can do is wait. I’ve seen these things cure themselves over night. I’ve seen them take months, years, and sometimes never. The best thing for you is to get you home where you’re familiar with things. Your home, and I hear you have a couple kids. That’s the best place for you right now.”
“I’m not leaving!” No way. No way in hell.
Chapter Two
I made Paxton mad so many times during the next few days. Intentionally. I was so sick of hearing him talk. I didn’t care how hot he was, how built, or how alluring he was. I didn’t want to go with him. He wouldn’t talk to me about anything important. Like my own kids. He was still on the game kick, thinking I feigned a brain injury. Freaking idiot.
I’d put up enough fight over the past couple days to get someone from social services in there. They wouldn’t help me, either. Paxton showed his charm when they talked to us both first. He had the two women eating out of his hand in a few seconds. And then politely excused himself so they could talk to me alone.
“This guy’s whacked in the head. I’m not leaving with him,” I assured the middle-aged women, jutting my thumb toward the door. It hurt too much to put any more effort than that into it.
The taller one offered little help. “We can make a home visit if you’d like. I can’t imagine what you must be feeling, but I really do think you should go home. Your family is the best place to be.”
It was a hopeless case. Nobody cared about me. Nobody saw the monster I sensed in him. I had no choice but to leave with him. It wasn’t even like I could run away. I could barely even walk, and where would I run to?
By two in the afternoon, they set me free. The cuts and broken bones healed by the day, but not my memory. My body felt stronger every day. My mind did not. Nothing. I had nothing to go on. My entire memory laid in six days. That’s how many days it had been since I had woken from a dark somberness to this. To hell.
I stood in my room overlooking the parking lot, and I waited. I just didn’t know what for. I didn’t feel like I belonged with Paxton. I didn’t feel like a mom, and I sure as hell didn’t feel like leaving with him.
“Ready, my love? I brought you a sundress to wear home. Hope that’s okay,” Paxton said, like we were going home with our first-born child. Like a proud papa.
I turned slowly and looked at him. “Yeah, it’s fine. Can you get the nurse for me?”
“For what?” Paxton asked, brows curled into a frown. His toe kicked the door shut and he opened the bag.
I reminded him of the obvious with a distasteful glare. I could barely sit on a toilet, and he thought I could handle moving my arms and legs in painful positons. Idiot. “I can’t dress myself yet.”
Paxton took my hand and helped me sit on my bed, propping my crutches against the chair. The scent of his cologne drifted between us when he brushed hair from my face. “Who do you think will be doing this at home?”
“No. I want a nurse. You’re not dressing me,” I said with an assured tone.
His fingers glided over my face and down my neck as his lips lowered to mine. My breath caught deep in my chest when his hand came to a stop around my throat. Is wasn’t the grip he held around my throat as much as the icy-warm words to my lips. The words were cold, spoken with warm breaths.
“I will be your nurse. I will change your clothes, and I will wash your pussy. We clear on that, baby? I don’t really like debating things. You know?” he questioned with a tighter grip and then another kiss.
Yes. I knew. I knew exactly what he meant. Don’t rock the boat. As much as I wanted to stand up to him, put him in his place, I couldn’t. I cowered with nod.
“That’s my girl,” he said with soft kisses to my lips. His grip eased up on my throat and his thumb lifted my chin. It hurt to look up like that, but the adrenaline pumping through my body kept me from saying so. A steady thump pounded in my chest as he kissed me. His tongue traced my lips, but I didn’t part them. I held them in a thin, straight line. He couldn’t make me kiss him back.
“Open. Your. Mouth,” he ordered, planting a kiss on my mouth between each word.
I wanted to tell him no. That was my intention, but it’s not what I did. I dropped my jaw, lowering my bottom lip for his tongue. It was those eyes. Those piercing, dark eyes. There was something there. Something behind them that scared the hell out of me. This was the first time since I had met Paxton that fear gripped me to my bones—at least from what I could remember, anyway. He’d intimidated me several times, but it hadn’t really scared me. Not like this.
Paxton hovered above me, kissing me with his hand around my throat. I’m not sure if I kissed back or not. I don’t think I really had a choice. It was hard not to with his tongue shoved in my mouth like that.
I felt the string being pulled from my green hospital gown on my back when he pulled away. Paxton stood in front of me and slid my gown over my shoulders. His eyes glittered with hunger as undressed me like we were about to make love right there in the hospital room.
I sat on the edge of the bed and watched his face and his lustful eyes. He licked his lips and ran the flat of his hand over my beading nipple. It didn’t go erect because of arousal; it hardened because of the chill. Of course, Paxton and his ego assumed it was their doing.
“I knew you missed me,” he said in a boasting tone, his gaze searching mine. The pounding in my heart picked up a thousand times harder, thumping loud in my head. With his power, Paxton showed me who was in charge, putting me right in my place. Wherever that was.
I didn’t speak a word—not that I could have if I’d tried, but still. I didn’t know what to say. This was about to happen whether I approved or not. Paxton and his power trip degraded me with elegance. Like it was his honorable duty to disgrace me with dignity.
His words were soft and loving, yet bold, and callous. “I’m so glad you didn’t mess any of this up. It would have been a shame.”
My chest was a faded black with grayish-yellow bruises, and I had numerous scrapes and cuts, mostly down my right side. I still didn’t speak. I listened. Listened and watched. I had a feeling all of my rebellious outbreaks were coming to an end. I feared him. I was afraid of where I would be taken, and what the hell I would be walking in to.
“I didn’t think this day was ever going to get here,” he said while admitting to a fact that told me his intentions with me. They weren’t good. Even I knew that. His hand grazed my leg and he dropped to one knee. The lace of a garment tickled my ankles. I didn’t move. A Thong? He had to look up and order me with his eyes before my foot lifted for him. He dragged white, lacy panties up my legs and over the bulky brace, stopping just below my knees. Paxton took both of my hands and drew me to a standing position.
His lips kissed my stomach as he stood, arranging the sexy panties around my hips. He pressed his hand against my bare ass and pulled my naked body into his chest. The force of his tongue proved to be enough of an order.
“Oh, my. Sorry,” my favorite nurse, Julie said from the door.
Paxton laughed and pulled his lips from mine. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I’ve missed her,” he admitted with a soft smile. His hand pulled on my thong and the thin lace settled between my ass cheeks. One tug and he let me go, continuing with the dress. No bra. Just the dress.
Julie talked to us about my discharge instructions,
explaining my meds to Paxton while he helped me into my sun dress.
Paxton shook the nurse’s hand and thanked her for everything. He took my things and left to retrieve the car, and I debated on saying something again. Beg for mercy…and hope she would listen.
“You’re a lucky woman, Gabriella. I know it’s hard for you to see that right now, but you are. You’re going to be okay. Thank your lucky stars you’re alive and you have such a nice-looking man to take care of you. That’s more than a lot of women I’ve seen come and go here. We just sent one to a Jane Doe to a nursing home a week ago in worse condition than you. Not one person claimed the poor soul. She didn’t have a husband that loved her like you do. Things will work out. I’m a very good judge of character. You hooked yourself a good one,” she assumed with a nod and a wink.
Good judge of character, my ass.
All I could do was sigh and thank her. Attempting again to tell them I didn’t want to go wouldn’t help. I had already tried that. Several times. Julie wheeled me out the double doors to Paxton, who drove up in style. I arched a brow when I saw the car he rolled up in.
Jesus. Was I rich?
“What do you think?” He smiled with an open hand toward the pearl-white SUV. A Lexus. Wow. I was rich. Or somebody was. Paxton, I presumed.
“It’s nice. Is this our car?”
“It’s yours. To replace the one you crashed. Do you like it?”
How could I not love it? “Yes, I do.”
Julie locked my wheelchair and whispered in my ear. “See there. You’re the first. Not many men pick their wives up in brand new Lexus’s. You take care, you hear?”
“Yes, thank you for everything, Julie. I appreciate all your help.”
“Just doing my job. You folks take care.”
Paxton helped me ease into the passenger seat and fastened my seatbelt with a kiss. A familiar kiss. I’d been kissed so many times by him that I was getting used to it. It didn’t bother me at all, and that strange, awkward feeling I’d had before was gone. It didn’t feel like it was our first kiss anymore. I didn’t know if that meant I was starting to recollect something, or he just did it so much.
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