“Come on. Get down here and wake me up.”
“Down where?”
“Here,” he directed with a hand behind my head. With his help, I lifted it and moved between his legs. I was never coming to him after a bad dream again. Dick.
That was how my morning started. I gave Paxton a blowjob, hoping I would be rewarded for good behavior. Paxton laid there relaxed, hands above his head, eyes closed. Once in a while he’d moan, or shove my head down and his dick in. For the most part, he just laid there and let me do the work. I knew I wouldn’t be getting my turn when he directed me to roll to my back and move down.
I laid on my back, face side up and he mounted me. His upper body was held up by his elbows, and his knees held his hips. Surges of endorphins went straight to my throbbing sex, and I thrived on the rush, as Paxton moved into my mouth
Paxton pumped hard, in and out, toying with me until he halted his movements, shuddered above me, and left his ecstasy in the back of my throat. Just like that, he was finished. I wasn’t rewarded for shit. Not even close.
“I’ll have bacon and eggs,” he said as he slid out of my mouth and walked to his bathroom. Fucker.
I sat up and looked at the closed bathroom door with a sigh. The pulsating between my legs tamed as I looked around Paxton’s room. He had good taste, or I did. I liked the sea-blue stripes behind the bed. The silver accents with pearl white furniture. I walked toward his balcony and opened the door, taking an instant breath of fresh air. The ocean still looked just as powerful, but with more beauty, unlike the night before. It didn’t feel dark at all. Not even when my eyes focused miles out. Where the blues and green turned black. That view was even better than mine. A few feet in the air made a world of difference.
I smiled when I saw Paxton’s chair facing the one I sat in all the time on the first floor. There would have been no way I would have known he was there, staring at me while I took it all in. The vast sea, the sun kissing the ocean, or the bright moon, hovering above.
I yawned when I heard the shower start, and I walked back in. He’d be expecting his breakfast and coffee in about fifteen minutes.
The yawns kept coming as I descended the stairs to the dark house. I looked in on Rowan first, knowing there was no need to look in on Ophelia. She was curled in a little ball, right beside her sister.
I flipped the light on in the kitchen and started coffee first. The two zucchini’s caught my eye when I turned the knob on the radio. I really needed to use those up, I thought as I changed the station. Who wanted to listen to depressing news at six o’clock in the morning?
I set the table with butter and two plates out on the breezeway and poured us coffee. Everything was ready except Paxton. I set out to get him only to run right into him, coming from his office. My hands crashed into his strong chest and he grabbed my arms.
“Watch where the fuck you’re going,” he snapped with pinched eyebrows, glaring right down to me.
I did what my mama had preached since I was two. I think. I killed him with kindness. One quick peck from the tips of my toes.
“I just sucked your dick at six o’clock in the morning. I feel like I at least deserve a good morning.”
“You sucked my dick because that’s what you’re supposed to do. I don’t smell bacon,” he countered with a softer tone while his hands moved me aside.
I led Paxton toward the Florida room where I had set the table for breakfast. I liked it out there in the mornings. It was peaceful. “You don’t need all that greasy stuff. It’s going to get hot out today. Eat some nourishment. You’re going to need the energy.”
“You just told me you would listen. This isn’t listening,” Paxton complained as his feet shuffled to the patio. “Muffins? Seriously?”
“Zucchini muffins. Try it.”
“I’m not eating zucchini for breakfast. I’ll stop along the way somewhere.”
“Oh, sit down and eat. I wouldn’t complain too loud. Not when someone else is cooking for you.”
Paxton pulled out his chair and sat with a growl. “That’s because—”
“Yes, Paxton. I know. That’s because it’s my job. It’s what I agreed to. I want to see that contract. I’m sure I have stipulations or loopholes.”
“You don’t have anything. You have me. That’s all you need. I tell you what to do, and you do it. That’s what works for us. That’s what we do.”
“That’s what you do. I don’t feel like I have a say in anything.”
“And you didn’t have a problem with it before you forgot who you were. If you’re faking this shit to get away with acting like you are, I’ll find out. And believe me when I say it. You’ll be sorry,” he threatened as his eyes moved to the bite he’d just taken from his muffin. He liked it. Score.
I brushed off whatever arcane punishment he had in mind with an eye roll, sipping my coffee. “Do you really believe that, Paxton? Do you honestly think I am faking any of this?”
“I sure as hell hope not.”
“You know. What time should I expect you to be home?”
“I’ll be late, I’m sure. I’m starting a new job this morning. Just fix my plate and you can warm it up when I get home. You got everything under control for the girls today, right? You know what’s going on?”
“Yes, I can handle the girls.”
“And the groceries?”
“Yes, Paxton. I’ve got it.”
“What is this shit?” he abruptly asked with a thumb hitchhiking over his shoulder toward the house.
“What?”
“Why isn’t it on the news?”
“What’s wrong with this?” I questioned.
“Miley Cyrus? Forget it. I’ve got to go. I’ll call and see how things are later.”
Paxton stood, grabbed another muffin, and walked away with his coffee. I cleaned up, and waited to hear his truck leave before I laid down on the round cabana bed and stretched out, the sound of the ocean permeating my mind. Seagulls came to life in the distance, and the sun lit the morning with warm light.
~~
“Where’s my sister. You said my sister would be here,” I complained. My butt sat on the edge of the chair while I stared at the door, waiting for her.
The lady I’d become familiar with leaned over, elbows on knees. “She’ll be coming. I need to talk to you about something, sweetie.”
My eyes moved from the door to Sherry. “What?”
“I have good news and bad news.”
“What?” I asked again. I didn’t care what order she gave it to me in. As long as the good news meant we would be together again, that’s all I cared about.”
“I’ve found permanent homes for both of you.”
Even I could hear the desperation in my tone. “Together?”
Sherry leaned closer and took both my hands, sadness taking over her expression. Tears swelled in my throat before she spoke a word. I wasn’t going to be with her.
“I’m sorry. I’ve tried so hard. If you could just remember a family member. Anyone that could take you both. It’s hard to find a place that can accommodate one eleven year old, let alone two.”
“You mean nobody wants us.”
“That’s not true.”
“Who is it?”
“There’s two. A couple in Michigan.”
“The Walkers. I remember them.”
“Yes, they came here and met you both a couple months back. They want to help, but they can’t take you both. They run a home where they adopt the hard-to-place kids, but they have guidelines they must follow. They can’t take you both.”
“Why? We’ll be good.”
“I’m sorry, sweetie.”
My lips puckered no matter how hard I tried to control them. “Is that far away from Florida? Michigan? Can I still see her?”
“It’s a long way, but maybe the Walkers will let you phone each other.”
“Where’s my sister going?” I questioned, eyes wide with fear and pending pain.
“
She’s going to stay here in Florida. There’s a program in trial that she’s going to go into. Her name is Ms. Porter. It’s a program to help older kids who need a place to live, matched with an elder. Someone that needs help doing things.”
I pulled my hands from hers and frowned. “She’s going to be a slave to an old person?”
Sherry resumed her posture and explained the situation. “No, no, it’s nothing like that, sweetie. Ms. Porter gets along just fine. She’s lonely. It’ll be good for her. For both of them.”
“Can I see her?”
“Ms. Porter?”
“Yes, I want to meet her.”
Sherry looked around and sighed a deep breath. “Okay, I guess that’s all right. Wait here.”
I slid from the chair and followed close behind Sherry, stopping at the door. I peered out, seeing the Walkers to the right. They were fairly young and they seemed to be nice people. I could tell they loved each other. Not like the kind of love my mom had with guys. This was different. Exclusive. Mr. Walker held her hand and they laughed at something in a magazine.
My head snapped to the grouchy lady in the corner next. She was huge. If I had to guess, I would say she was pushing four hundred pounds.
“Why do I have to meet the other kid? Why can’t I take the one I signed up for and go home? You’re making me miss my shows.” I really didn’t think she was that old. Just really big. That’s why she looked old.
“They’re sisters. Who knows when they’ll see each other again?”
“Fine, whatever.”
I darted back to my chair when Sherry turned. She didn’t come all the way in. She waved her hand and nodded for me to come. The Walkers turned and smiled at me. I couldn’t remember the wife’s name, but I remembered his was Trent. She waved her fingers at me, but I didn’t respond.
“This is the sister,” Sherry said with her hand on my back.
“Hello.” I was more interested in where they were taking my twin than the cute little couple on the other side of the room.
“You do look just like the other one,” the lady said.
“Yeah, we’re twins,” I said in small voice. Mouse-like. I cleared my throat and straightened my posture. I had to be brave. I had one chance and I couldn’t blow it. “Ms. Porter, can you please take us both? I’ll help you clean and do everything. We won’t be bad. I promise,” I begged.
Her head tilted to the side and her heart softened. Maybe it was the tears. I don’t know, but I know she felt something. She didn’t speak, she only smiled a sad smile, and I knew it was a no.
“Sweetie, we talked about this,” Sherry said quietly as she knelt to my level. I looked at her through tears, seeing her in a blur.
“Gabby!”
“Izzy!”
Excited screams echoed through the room when I saw her. My Clyde. My eyes left everyone in the waiting room to go to her, and my feet carried me to her in lightning speed. We embraced and cried like we hadn’t seen each other in years. Three weeks away from her seemed like three years.
“Girls, why don’t you step into my office? You can visit there while we have an adult conversation out here.”
~~
My head jerked and I jumped a foot. “Jesus, Row-row.” The tear I wiped with the back of my hand reminded me of the sad dream.
“What’s the matter, mommy?” Rowan asked, worry in her tone.
“You scared me. What time is it?”
“I’m hungry.”
“Okay, I’m coming. Where’s Phi?”
“She’s pooping.”
“Oh, well great. Don’t say that in front of your dad.”
I stumbled to the kitchen, trying to wake up. All it took was the time on the microwave. “Ten o’clock! Go get your sister. We’ve got to go. We have gymnastics. You have gymnastics. Ugh. Your dad is going to kill me. Ophelia. Let’s go,” I called. I couldn’t believe I’d slept that late. Paxton would be livid.
My finger glided over the calendar, stopping on Monday morning gymnastics. Ten a.m. I should have had them there already.
“Go, Row. Get dressed. We have to go.”
“But I’m hungry.”
“Oh, yeah. Food. Here, eat a muffin.”
“Hmm, this is good.”
“Go dress,” I pleaded while I ran to find them clothes. I hopped on one foot when I remembered I wasn’t ready for that. I wouldn’t be running anytime soon.
“Hey, I want a muffin,” Ophelia stated as soon as she saw it.
“I licked them all.”
“Rowan, you did not. Stop saying that. Go grab a muffin, Phi and then get dressed. We’re late.”
“Dad’s gonna be mad,” Ophelia warned.
“Thanks, Einstein. Go get dressed.”
That was the start of my crazy day. We totally missed gymnastics, I got lost, and took them to the stupid art by the bay at the time they were supposed to be at dance, or maybe it was piano. I don’t know. Neither of them were any help. All they did was argue who was right and who was wrong. Rowan insisted we were supposed to go to dance. I didn’t even have that on my notes.
“You know what? Let’s forget this stupid schedule. Here, tear it into little pieces,” I said while ripping the page in half.
“Daddy’s gonna be mad,” Ophelia said with great assurance.
“Daddy will get over it. Let’s go home, make a lunch, and head down to the beach.”
“Yay!” they both yelled in unison.
I didn’t even care that Paxton would go nuts. This was absurd, and I was finished before I ever started. They could do two things. That was enough. If Paxton didn’t like it, he could take off work and keep track of it. My mind wasn’t ready for that. I thought about my dream with a heavy heart. I knew that was the last time I saw my sister, and it made me sad. I missed her.
We did make it to the grocery store, and once again, I did my own thing. I didn’t buy the hotdogs, the sausage patties, or the ham-hock. What the hell was that for? Again I thought about how pissed Paxton would be, and again I didn’t care.
I was sure that Paxton’s bark was worse than his bite. I mean, what was he going to do, spank me? He hadn’t even grabbed my face or my throat in quite a while. And if he did, oh well. I couldn’t do this. It was stupid.
Rowan and Ophelia didn’t mind. They were elated to go to the beach and have a picnic. I needed a drink, and a moment to think about the separation from my sister.
“You guys can pick two things. You can pick one and you can pick one,” I told the girls while I overstepped my boundaries as we all put away groceries.
“I just want to do the golf ball,” Ophelia said while giving me her one and only pick.
“Don’t open those, Phi. We’re going to eat lunch,” I said as I watched her try to open the bag of pretzels. “What about you, Row-row?”
“Hmm, maybe I’ll just do golf, too.”
“No, you can do golf and something else. You can pick something, too,” I said as I placed two cans of soup in the pantry, explaining that she didn’t have to pick the same one.
“Do you like gymnastics or piano, Phi?”
I stopped putting my groceries away and smiled down at them. She wanted to make sure Phi was okay with her decision. They did love each other. Hurray.
“Well, I forgot about piano. I like that.”
I tossed a bag of noodles to Rowan and solved the problem. “Tell you what. We’ll do three. Golf, piano, and gymnastics. How’s that?” Both girls agreed with yeses.
“Go put your swimsuits on while I make us lunch,” I said, wiping something sticky from the island. Chocolate milk maybe.
I took a deep breath and searched out my buzzing phone. A text message from Paxton.
Paxton—How’re things going?
I twisted my lips to the side and thought about how to reply. It wouldn’t really be a lie if I said fine. They were fine. Just not up to his par.
Gabriella—Fine. How’re things with you?
Paxton—Ha,ha, funny … How
’re are the girls? Everything okay?
Gabriella—Yes. Everything is fine. Stop worrying. I’ll see you later.
Paxton—Did you get the roast? Make it for supper. Corn and mashed potatoes. Make a brown gravy and some sort of bread. Rolls.
Gabriella—What would you like to drink with that?
Paxton—I’m just going to ignore that for now. I’ll take it out on your ass later. Take care of my cubs.
Gabriella—I’ll be waiting, and of course I’ll take care of them. They’re my cubs, too.
“You can fix this?” Ophelia asked with both her hands behind her back, wearing her swimsuit in some weird way. I had to remove the whole thing to figure out what part she had over her head. It was all twisted up.
I played with my girls. We ate fresh salads, and peanut butter and jelly. We used seashells to dig a ditch, and made a lazy river out of sand. Ophelia and Rowan made a game out of it, using their juice boxes as boats. We climbed high up on the boulders that Paxton had forbidden us to climb, and we laughed. A lot. All in all, I’d say they had a great day. A great day without all the distractions.
We ended our beach day leaned against one of the giant rocks. One tired little girl under each arm. The tide tickled our toes and we stared out to the endless ocean, the sun high above our heads.
“I like this better than dance. Can we do it tomorrow, too?” Rowan questioned, green eyes beaming up to me.
I brushed her wet, blonde strands to her back and smiled at her. “We’ll see.” I wasn’t sure how Paxton was going to handle my disobedience. I was sure it wouldn’t be pleasant. He would be pissed. No doubt about it.
Rowan told me about our last vacation. Apparently, I was sick and stayed in the hotel most of the time. I pondered if that was truth or not. I was more apt to say I was being punished. Ophelia helped with the story, telling me about the zip line they slid down. Even though I wouldn’t have remembered it anyway, it still hurt my heart a little. I wanted to experience that with them.
“Let’s head home, girls. We need to get cleaned up and start supper.”
“Can we help?” Rowan asked as she took my hand to pull me to my feet.
Suit Page 20