by Harper Sloan
“My mom was an illusion,” she whispered, her body getting closer like she was trying to press her way inside of me. “She was one person to the world and then with me, she was someone completely different.” I squeezed her to encourage her to keep going.
“When I was around seven, I had a school show coming up and was so excited because I had gotten the main part. I ran home to tell my mom, hoping this was something that we could share. She lived to be on stage and was always away following her dream, so I couldn't stop thinking that she would finally be proud. She would finally see that I existed as more than just some kind of obligation. When I got home, she had already gone out so I went to Miss B. like I always did. I was so excited about the part that I spent all night making sure I knew every line, word for word, so when my mom got home, she would see how hard I’d worked.
“Later that night, my mom called Miss B. and told her she was going out after her performance and to just put me to bed. So, like always, Miss B. took me across the hall to our apartment and put me to bed in my own room. It was the middle of the night when I was woken up by being beaten with a broom. I thought someone had broken in and was trying to kill me until my mom started yelling about me not doing my chores. She kept hitting me over and over again. I remember begging her to stop. Finally, after what seemed like hours, she made me get out of bed and clean the house from top to bottom.”
She took a breath and pushed closer to me. “When I told her why I had forgotten about doing my chores, she told me that I wasn't allowed to do the play because I was too irresponsible. Then, she made me kneel on dry rice for an hour while apologizing for being so stupid and unappreciative. The night of the school play, my mom, who had never gone to a school function, made me go and watch another girl play the role that I had been chosen for. When the play was over, my mom dragged me backstage and gave flowers to the girl, hugging her and telling her how amazing she was.” I could feel her tears wetting my skin.
“My whole life she did things like that,” she whispered so softly that I almost didn’t hear.
“Why didn't you live with your dad?” I asked, pulling her closer.
“She told me he didn't want me either.” I couldn’t handle any more about her mom so I pulled her tighter against me, rubbing her back until her breathing evened out and I knew she was asleep.
“Asher? Where’s my daughter?” I hear Mike ask on the third ring.
When I met November at the strip club, I was only there to make sure the new guy we hired was doing a good job. I saw her with Mike at the bar and wanted to walk over and take her from him. Then Justin, a new bouncer, caught sight of her walking out to her car alone and was headed to tell her about the rules, but I told him I would take care of it. I was pissed at myself for wanting her and disgusted with her for dating someone old enough to be her father.
Obviously, the joke was on me. When I walked up to her and she turned her keys over in her hand to use them as a weapon, I was instantly proud. She was so small that it wouldn’t take much to hurt her, but she didn’t back down. Then she argued with me and I saw her cheeks flush. It took everything in me not to wrap her hair around my fist, press her against the car, and kiss her.
When Mike called from the other side of the parking lot, she said, “Over here, Daddy,” in a way that had me biting the inside of my cheek to avoid asking her what the fuck she was doing with someone as old as Mike.
Then Mike came over and patted me on the back and introduced November as his daughter. You could have pushed me over with a feather. One, I’d known Mike my whole life and he never mentioned a daughter. Two, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. When she laughed at me, I swear I felt that shit in my soul. Then she shook my hand and electricity went through me. I knew I had to get out of there. I said her name, turned around, and walked off.
Then, a week later, I go to visit Gran and I see her there. I was in shock, and a dick, as usual. So what do I do? Force her to walk out with me then crowd her until she agrees to meet me at the bar.
I knew she was as attracted to me as I was to her. When I was standing in front of her and her eyes glazed over and her lips parted, I knew she was mine.
“Asher?” Shit, I spaced out.
“She’s out with Ma. They went to spend a girls’ day in Nashville. You get any word on the break-in or have any idea who may have done it?” I ask, putting on my boots.
“No. I made an appointment to have a security system put in on Monday. I have no idea who she could have made an enemy out of or who would hate her enough to follow her to Tennessee from New York. That shit doesn’t make sense. She hasn’t dated much. Her mom kept her under her thumb. She got free when she went to college and that’s when she got engaged. I think that situation fucked with her head so much, she stopped dating all together.” I know it’s irrational, but every time it’s mentioned that she’s been engaged, I want to find the fucker and slaughter him.
“Yeah, she mentioned him. Do you think he may be trying to find a way to get her back?”
“Not sure. All I know is they were engaged and she called it off not long after he proposed. She never told me why it didn’t work out, just that he agreed with her.” He was fucking her mom and got caught, I'm sure he didn’t have much choice but to agree. Not that I could tell Mike that shit.
“Well, I called a buddy of mine who was part of F.A.S.T. with me in the corps. He works in New Jersey now and is in the DEA. He has a few friends on the force in New York that he’s gonna check with about her case and see if there were any other crimes that happened in the same area that match what happened to her.”
“Good. I don’t know what’s going on, but I feel like I'm missing something.” Yeah, I know the feeling. Being beaten in New York, then the strange car at the rest area, and now the break-in here. Something is going on.
“I'm going to bring out some motion lights and set them up around your place and do the same at mine. I don’t like her staying at your house alone at night while you’re at the club, so I'm going to continue keeping her here with me. I would appreciate your agreement. She’s the most stubborn woman I have ever met, so the only way she’s going to agree is if you tell her she can’t stay there unless you’re home.”
“Really? The only reason you want her staying with you is because you don’t want her here at night by herself?” I hear Mike chuckle through the phone. It’s not the only reason I want her here. I like her in my bed, wrapped around me. She has the sweetest pussy I’ve ever tasted. She gets wild the minute I touch her, and I like knowing she’s in my space, but once again, I'm not going to tell him that shit.
“Never thought I would choose you for my baby girl, but fuck me if I'm not glad about this shit now.”
I know everyone judged my lifestyle before, but Jesus, I was single, and every woman I fucked knew I was going to stay that way. Now, November is different. She isn’t trying to impress me or get to my money. She laughs at herself and has a good time no matter what we’re doing. That’s why I know she’s it for me.
When I married Joan, I felt like I was doing the right thing when she claimed to be pregnant. I was going to be involved in my child’s life, regardless of how I felt about the baby’s mother. It helped that she was hot and had a mouth like a fucking cyclone. I was on my way home from an assignment, a man I considered a brother, stopped me and completely broke down.
First, I thought someone we knew died but then he told me that he'd slept with Joan. When I went home that night, I kicked her ass out and told her my lawyer would be in touch.
A week later, she came to me crying, saying that she miscarried the baby. I knew right then that she played me. When I asked her for paperwork from the hospital, she couldn’t give me any. Fucking cunt.
“I’ll let November know she can’t stay here unless I'm home,” Mike said, bringing my mind back in focus.
“Thanks, Mike. I’ll hit you up later this week if I hear anything from New York.”
“Sure
thing, bud. Talk to you then.”
I hang up with Mike then grab my keys and a water bottle from the fridge.
“Jeep, Beast.” I see him waiting at the front door when I get around the corner. I never thought I would want a dog again, but I like having him here. And I know how loyal he is to November. We just need to work on him knocking her down every time she lets him inside. That shit would not be funny if she were pregnant. An image of November, round with my child, filters through my head and I stumble into the wall.
“Holy shit,” I say out loud, leaning into the wall and trying to pull myself together. I take a few deep breaths then push away and walk to the door, stumbling out to my jeep. I open the door for Beast to jump in then I stand outside for a few minutes, letting the cool air help calm me. The fucked-up part is that I'm not even afraid.
“Shit,” I say, shaking my head. Part of me wants to make her that way as soon as possible.
“Trevor!” I yell as I walk into my brother’s house. I head into the kitchen, grab a beer and take a drink when Jen walks in. Now I know what the fuck my brother’s been doing.
“Hi, Asher,” Jen says, running her hand along my arm. I turn around and hold her wrist.
“Don’t.” I drop her hand, taking a step back.
“So, the rumors are true? Never thought I’d see the day that Asher Mayson was pussy whipped. Though, for the life of me, I don’t see—”
“Time for you to go, Jen,” Trevor says, cutting her off while putting on his shirt.
“What? I thought we could hang out for a while. You know, watch a movie or something…” she says in a whine. I almost feel bad for this bitch. Then I remember that she’s a bitch and will never be more than an easy fuck. The same thing she was to me.
“When have we ever watched a movie?” He shakes his head. “You drove out here to fuck. I gave you what you wanted and now you need to leave.”
Shit, my brother was harsh, but then again, I never had to deal with kicking chicks out of my house. That was a lesson I learned early on. Unless you want them showing up at your house at all hours of the day and night, never invite them there.
“Okay. Will you walk me out?” she asks and I see my brother’s face change. I know exactly what he’s thinking.
“Look, Jen. You and I know this will never be anything more,” Trevor says softly. I see her face go hard.
“You’re a fucking joke,” she says, poking him in the chest. “I had to fake it every time we were together,” she yells, her voice getting louder.
“That’s why you keep coming back? Look, I don’t have time for this shit. Now get the fuck out of my house and don’t come back.” I watch as my brother crosses his arms over his chest and glares down at her. Then, she turns and looks at me and I know I'm next on her tirade.
“I hope you know that your bitch is going to find out the way you guys treat women,” she says, glaring at me. “And when she leaves your ass, I will be there cheering her on.”
“She knows how I treat bitches, and trust me, Jen, you were one of the biggest. Now, I suggest you get the fuck out of here like Trevor asked you to, or I will call the sheriff and have you removed.” I watch her stomp to the counter and grab her bag, and hear her stomp down the hall. Then I hear the door slam.
“Jesus, she’s a pain in the ass,” Trevor says as he scrubs his hands down his face. “You do know that the women in town are in a fucking tizzy because of your ass, right?” he asks and I raise my eyebrow at him. “Seriously, they think now that you’ve settled down, we’re all going to follow in your footsteps and start handing out rings. I mean, if I had a November of my own, I might consider it, but there’s only one of her and I don’t see you being done with her anytime soon, so that doesn’t give me much hope.”
“I'm never going to be done with her. And if by some chance this shit doesn’t work out, she’s off limits,” I say, being one-hundred percent serious. I have never cared if my brothers went after a chick I fucked. But if one of them even thinks about getting with November, I will kill them, brother or not.
“I fucking knew it.” He claps his hands. “So the Mayson curse is real. Fall in love on sight and all that bullshit.” I want to laugh. From the time I was young, my father and grandfather told me and my brothers that we were cursed. They said that we would only find one love. When we met the woman who was ours, it would be like an explosion. Nothing else would matter but her. We all thought it was bullshit. Now I'm not so sure.
“The moment I met her, I knew she was the one, as cheesy as that shit sounds,” I say, taking a slug from my beer.
“Wow,” Trevor says, looking stunned. “I don’t blame you, man. She’s fucking hot and funny.” There are a lot of things that November is; hot and funny are only a couple. She is also a good person and that is hard to find in a woman these days.
“So, are you ready to get this shit done or did you call me out here to gossip with you?” I ask, done talking about her. Part of me wishes I was the only person who knew her. I don’t want to share her with anyone.
“Let me get my boots and we can go. The truck is in the garage. It shouldn’t take long to pull the engine.”
I take a swig of my beer and watch my brother leave the room. I can’t wait for this day to be over.
I wake to a ringing off in the distance. I know it’s the alarm. I'm silently praying that Asher turns it off before I'm so awake that I can’t fall back asleep. I cuddle deeper. He’s pressed into my back. His arm leaves my waist, and finally, beautiful silence. His arm comes back around me, pulling me even deeper under him, and I feel his breath on the back on my neck.
The goose bumps he’s causing are bringing me to the surface of consciousness. It’s Monday, the day after shopping with his mom. I got back to his house at around eleven. He and Beast were waiting out on the porch when we pulled up. Asher kissed his mom then helped me carry all my new stuff into the house, where he threw them into his closet. Yes, threw, not set them down nicely. He swung his arm back and tossed them through the open closet door. When he turned around, I could tell he missed me as much as I missed him.
The next thing I knew, my clothes were gone. He picked me up, threw me onto the bed, and made slow love to me. It was so beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes. I was glad the darkness hid them from him. Afterwards, he pulled me close and dragged the blanket over us. I had my head in the crook of his arm and his fingers were at my hip.
We both talked about our day. He told me that he helped Trevor pull an engine from a truck he was rebuilding. I never knew that you could pull an engine from a car, or truck, for that matter, and I really had no idea why you would ever want to. Our conversation went something like this:
“Did you have fun with Trevor?” I asked, running my fingers along the ridges of his abs.
“No, but we did get the engine pulled from his truck.”
“Why would you take the engine out? Doesn’t a car need that to run?” Yes, I'm stupid, I know, but hey, I'm a New Yorker. We hardly drive. We take the subway or a taxi to most places, and if my car needs a mechanic, I take it to Juan and leave it with him. I don’t hang around to see what he’s doing while my car is in the shop, which is probably why my repair bill is always a lot…hmm. I could feel him laughing silently, then he couldn’t hold it and burst out in a loud laugh, and I started to get offended.
“Yeah, your car needs an engine to run. He just wants to put a stronger one in his truck.” This fascinated me. I mean, who knew that you could change your engine and get a faster one?
“Cool,” I whispered, thinking that I should get a faster engine for my bug.
“Not gonna happen,” he said, looking down at me. Then he kissed the top of my head. I grinned into his chest. It was funny that he thought he could boss me around. I seriously couldn’t wait to pull up to meet him on a motorcycle.
“How was it shopping with Ma?”
“Um, let’s just say that I will only be going shopping with her every few months. I fe
lt like I should have prepared better. Maybe ran around Target a few times, or even went to the strip mall and marched into each of the stores a few times. She’s a serious shopper, and if they had a competition, I'm sure she would come in first place.”
“Yeah, that’s Ma,” he said through his laughter. Then, I wrapped myself tighter around him, listening to his heartbeat and feeling him run his fingers through my hair. I fell asleep feeling like this was exactly where I was supposed to be.
I doze off again, only to be woken by the sound of the alarm for the second time. I feel his lips kiss my shoulder, and his tongue run up my neck just below my ear as he kisses me again. Then he squeezes me into him. His warmth leaves me and I feel the cool air rush in behind me, and hear the alarm go off yet again. I roll over until I am lying where he had been. I pull his pillow down and wrap myself around it. I can hear the shower, and I open one eye and look at the time. It is dusk out, and the alarm says it is five thirty. I can’t believe he has to get up so early. I have to get up by nine so I can get ready and go see the lawyer. I see the closet light come on and I lift my head.
Asher is wearing a towel, and I watch in fascination as he pulls it off and pulls on a pair of black boxers that mold to his thighs and ass. He seriously has the most amazing body of anyone I have ever seen. He must have felt me looking because he turns around, smiles, and shakes his head.
“Go back to sleep, baby. It’s too early for you to be up.”
“Do you always wake up so early?” I ask, cuddling back down into the bed.
“Depends on the job.”
“Hmm,” is all I am able to get out before I fall back to sleep. I feel my hair slide off my neck and lips just below my ear.
“I’ll be home around six, and I’ll call you when I take lunch, baby.” I feel him kiss me again, but I am too far gone to get any words out, so I just grunt my agreement. I hear him chuckle then he kisses me again before he leaves.