by Harper Sloan
“Point taken,” I mumble.
“Why would you be upset that he had a life before you? I hate to remind you, but you were engaged.”
“You were engaged?” Susan gasps. Geez, this day started out so perfectly, and now every time I turn around, someone is talking about something I don’t want to talk about.
“I was, and then I found out that the guy was a total jerk and broke it off.” I look over at my grandma. “I'm not upset. I just want to understand why they split up.” Grandma nods her head in understanding.
“What did he do? I mean, why did you call off your engagement?” Susan asks.
“He cheated,” I say and hear my grandmother inhale. I never told my father why I called off the engagement so he was never able to tell her. Since I’ve been home, she’s never asked.
Besides, the idea of telling them that he cheated on me with my mom didn’t sound like a conversation I wanted to have.
“Well, I think you should talk to him about it,” my grandmother says like she just solved all of my problems. I smile, shaking my head.
“I'm going to talk to him, just not on Christmas Eve. We should be having a good time visiting with friends and family.”
“Such a smart girl,” she says, pinching my cheek like I'm five.
“Thanks.” I smile.
“Okay, let me and your grandma finish these and you go visit with everyone,” Susan says, taking the knife and cheese away from me.
“Do you like it?” Asher whispers into my ear. It is Christmas morning and both of our families are over and most are still wearing pajamas. Somehow, everyone decided while they were drunk that we should all have breakfast and open gifts at Asher’s house.
Making early morning plans while drinking is not smart. I made the coffee extra strong and put out aspirin as an appetizer before breakfast. The first person showed up at eight. Asher kissed me and got out of bed. I hid under the covers, hoping everyone would forget I was even in the house. That only lasted about five minutes. Asher came back into the room and dragged me across the bed then tried to stand me up, but I was playing dead and slumped into him, not even opening my eyes.
“Baby, we gotta make breakfast,” he laughed.
“No, all I want for Christmas is to sleep,” I said, trying to cuddle into his chest.
“You can sleep later,” he said while rubbing my back, but that was making me sleepier.
“I’ll be your bestest friend ever if you let me sleep.” He started laughing harder.
“As much as I want you to be my best friend, I need help making breakfast for everyone. I'm pretty sure that last night you were jumping up and down while clapping and saying how much fun if was going to be to open gifts with everyone this morning.”
Crap, I did do that, but that was also after having four cups of eggnog, so I can’t be held accountable for my actions.
“I was drunk. It doesn’t count.”
“Hmm, so all the dirty things you said you wanted me to do to you last night don’t count,” he said, and I shoved my face deeper into his chest, hoping to block him out. I do not want to even think about what a drunk me would say to Asher.
“Don’t worry, baby. Tonight I’ll—”
I cut him off. I didn’t want to know what drunk me said. “I'm awake,” I blurted out. I ran to the bathroom and slammed the door before he could say anything else.
I made baked French toast and bacon. Asher made scrambled eggs that I swear could win awards. He uses whole cream and cheddar cheese. They melt in your mouth and each bite is like heaven. After we all ate, everyone was gathered around the tree. Asher pulled me into his lap so we could open gifts.
I had a hard time finding him something for Christmas, but since he was always on his phone at the job site either going through emails or putting together orders, I decided to get him an iPad mini. That way, he could have a bigger screen and wouldn’t go blind from looking at the small screen on his phone. Plus, I got him a case that has a built in keyboard, hoping that it will make his life easier when sending email and placing orders. I also got him a few shirts and a New York Yankees baseball hat. He isn’t actually a Yankees fan but I love him in hats and I'm a New Yorker, so it was necessary.
After everyone finished opening gifts, it took me a minute to realize that Asher didn’t get me anything. I tried not to let this hurt my feelings but it did. He loved the iPad and was still playing with it as people started leaving the living room.
“I'm going to go clean up breakfast,” I mumbled to myself. Asher hadn’t taken his eyes off his new toy since he opened it. I pulled myself up from where I was sitting between his spread legs.
“Can you throw that shit in the closet for me, baby?” he asked, not looking up from the stupid iPad. I was starting to wonder if it was water resistant.
“Sure,” I grumbled. I picked up the stuff I got him, along with the gifts I got from our families. I set my stuff on the bed then carried his crap to the closet. I debated just throwing it in there, but I didn’t want to mess it up.
After about two weeks of me being at Asher’s house, I'd cleaned out his closet, put all of his laundry away, folded his T-shirts, and hung anything that needed to be hung. I also organized all of his shoes. I loved his closet. I turned on the light without even thinking and set his new shirts on his shelf when I noticed my metal framed mannequin in the corner. I did a double take then saw a huge dressing table in the middle of the room with all my odds and ends on it, including a cool jewelry stand and a tall mirror with swirly legs that looked awesome.
Looking around, I noticed all my clothes and shoes were in his closet and there was a very cool chaise lounge chair in the corner with a small gift box sitting on top of it. My hands started shaking as I looked around, realizing that this was my Christmas gift. It was the most awesome gift that he could have ever given me.
“Do you like it?” I hear him whisper as his arms circle my waist, pulling me back against him.
I can’t talk. All I can do is nod my head. I am speechless. When I find my voice, I ask him, “When did you do this? How did you do this?”
“My guys got here a few minutes after we left yesterday. They put up the new shelves, brought in the dressing island and the chair. Your dad and grandma brought over all your stuff and set it up before heading to Ma’s for the party last night.”
“I love it,” I whisper. It was perfect. A dream closet. “Did you pick out the jewelry stand and mirror?”
I felt his silent laughter against my back. “Liz picked them out for you. When I told her what I was doing, she talked my ear off about closets the whole time I was in her store. I tell you, I don’t know what it is with women and closets, but if the stomach is the way to a man’s heart, a closet is the way to a woman’s.”
I smile and melt deeper into him. Liz has become a great friend and is slowly becoming more open with us. Except when Trevor is around, but I think that’s because he’s always growling at her. When she ignores him, it pisses him off. When she talks to him, it pisses him off, but when another guy tries to talk to her, that pisses him off even more. He normally ends up storming off, leaving Liz looking completely baffled and me laughing to myself.
With the way he looks at her, I know he is seriously into her. It's like watching a romance in the making, just waiting to see who is going to break first.
“I love this closet. I loved this closet before I even really liked you,” I tell him truthfully.
He laughs, turning me in his arms. “Now you love me.”
“Maybe, or maybe I'm using you for your closet. Did you ever think of that?” I ask, smirking up at him. He picks me up suddenly, making me squeal. Then I am on the chaise lounge with him lying on top of me. “What are you doing?” I exhale as his hand finds my breast and the other goes to the back of my thigh.
“I'm going to prove that you’re not using me for the closet,” he says, his fingers tracing the back of my thigh and around the front of my sleep shorts, slipping unde
rneath the edge. He slowly traces my seam with his finger. My hips lift automatically, trying to get more contact.
“People are here.” I moan.
“Then you better be quiet, baby,” he whispers into my ear, his fingers running over my clit, circling twice then dipping down and filling me. I bite down on his shoulder, one hand going under his shirt to his back and the other to his bicep, holding on. “You’re so wet. Jesus, I wish I could taste you right now.”
“Please,” I beg, my face coming out of his neck. I love his mouth. I want his mouth on me.
“My greedy girl. You know I love your pussy, baby, but I can’t. The minute I get my mouth on you, I’m going to want to fuck you and I can’t do that knowing your dad’s in the next room.”
I whimper. His words are turning me on even more. His fingers slide slowly in and out, then his thumb moves over my clit and I feel myself begin to fall apart, his mouth catching my moan. I pull him closer, wrapping myself tighter around him. My eyes are squeezed shut and I can still feel myself spasming around his fingers.
“Oh my God,” I whisper, opening my eyes. I watch in fascination as Asher brings his fingers to his mouth and licks them clean. This causes another spasm. Then his mouth is on mine, kissing me deep and wet. When he pulls his mouth away, we are both trying to catch our breath. “Maybe I'm using you for amazing orgasms,” I say quietly.
“Yeah, maybe,” he chuckles and kisses my nose. I feel my face go soft.
“No, I'm definitely in love with you.” I whisper my confession. It still amazes me that this guy, who seems so rough around the edges, is always soft with me.
“I love you, baby.”
“I love you too.” Tears sting my nose and I take a deep breath.
Asher picks up the wrapped box off the floor where it had fallen and hands it to me. “What’s this?” I ask.
“Your other gift.” He smiles his cocky grin and I can’t help but to roll my eyes. I slowly unwrap the silver paper and lift the lid on the small jewelry box. My heart feels like it is going to jump out of my chest with the anticipation.
“Wow,” I whisper, staring down at the most beautiful necklace I have ever seen. Two silver hearts intertwined, becoming one, similar to an eternity symbol. I take it out of the box and hold it in my hand, not sure if he even knows the significance of the design. “It’s beautiful,” I say, still whispering. I look up and he is watching me closely.
“Will you put it on me?” I ask, handing it to him. My hair is already up so I turn my back to him and he places the necklace around my neck then clasps it. I feel his lips on the back of my neck. My hand goes to the hearts and I pull it away from my chest, looking down at it. He pulls me around to face him again.
“Beautiful,” he says and I start crying. He pulls me into his lap and I shove my face into his neck, absorbing his smell. “Baby, why are you crying?” That’s a good question. I have no idea why I am crying. I just feel really emotional.
“I'm sorry.” I sniffle, wiping my face on his shirt.
“Did you just wipe your snot on me?”
I start giggling. “No, just tears. I promise.”
“Uh huh,” he mumbles and kisses the top of my head. I pull my face away from his chest and look into his beautiful eyes. I’m so lucky. “So, now that you have your stuff here, baby, you know that means you’re officially moved in, right?”
I'm in complete shock. He totally tricked me into moving in. Actually, come to think of it, he tricked my dad. He got his way without having to fight with me about it. I love staying here, but I like having a backup plan.
“Oh my God. You bossed me and got your way, and I didn’t even notice you were doing it.”
“I didn’t boss you, baby. I told you that you would want to live with me.” He is right, as mad as it makes me. I want to be here as badly as he wants me to be.
“You don’t think this is too soon?” I mumble, shaking my head.
“Fuck, no.”
Okay. He is sure about this. Me, on the other hand, I am not so sure. “I don’t want this to go bad because we’re so new. I feel like this is moving so fast. I'm worried that it’s just because it’s new to you and you don’t really know what you’re asking. Like you’re going to lose interest sooner or later and I’ll be heartbroken, and stuck moving out of a house that I love when I knew it was too soon to move into it in the first place.”
His hands move to my neck, his thumbs are under my jaw, tilting my head back so he has full eye contact. “You’re pissing me off.” Eeek! He looks pissed. Crap. “I'm a grown man. I know what I want out of life. I know who I want in my life. You’re not in my head, you don’t know how I feel, so stop trying to make choices for me,” he says, shaking my head gently. “I'm trying to slow down for you. For me, going fast would be you wearing a ring instead of a necklace. Trust me, I'm taking it slow, as slow as I can.”
For some reason, I know he is telling the truth. What he doesn’t know is that if he'd asked me to marry him, I would have said yes, no questions asked. From the moment I saw him, I wanted him. Granted, I thought he was a big jerk after he spoke, but I still wanted him. When my apartment was broken into and he was there with me, taking care of me, and making sure I was safe, I knew then he was really a good man. And the way he talks to me and looks at me, well, that seals the deal.
“I love you. You’re it for me. I knew from the moment I met you that I was done for. I like having you here and I don’t see that changing, unless you don’t feel the same as I do. Then you need to tell me that so I can convince you that you do,” he says, smirking at me. I wonder if he felt the same about his ex. Did he love her?
“Did you love your ex-wife?” I blurt out, feeling his body stiffen under me. “Never mind, I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that.” I try to escape off his lap.
His eyes narrow and he takes a deep breath. “You can always ask me anything,” he says, pulling me deeper into him and pressing my head into his warm chest. “I never loved her. I thought I was doing the right thing. We had been sleeping together for about a year and I knew that I didn’t want anything serious with her. She always hinted at more, but I knew she wasn’t the one. I did care about her, but I wasn’t in love with her.
“I had been gone for a month and when I got back, she was waiting for me outside my apartment. She told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I knew I had to do the right thing. I never wanted my kid to grow up in a house where I didn’t have access to him or her twenty-four seven, so I did what I thought was right at the time. I told her that it would work out and we would get married. That way, she would have insurance for all the medical bills, and I would have full access to my child. I thought maybe I would grow to love her. She claimed to be around three months along.
“When I was leaving to go out with my squad, I was gone for two weeks, give or take. We had been married for a month and she moved in right away. When I came back from an assignment, a friend of mine stopped me before I could go home. He told me that she had slept with him and that he was sorry. I went home and confronted her about what she had done. She didn’t deny it. She said she was trying to get me jealous to make me realize that I loved her. It didn’t work. I kicked her out and told her that my lawyer would be in touch.
“A couple days later, she came by and told me that she had lost the baby. I asked for proof and she never showed me any. To this day, she tries to contact me every once in a while. I don’t take her calls, but she has been known to show up out of the blue. Kenton knows about her because after she claimed to have lost the baby, he did some digging for me. He found out that she never went to the doctor for any kind of treatment during the time she claimed to be pregnant. I guess she thought I would knock her up after we got married and I would never be the wiser. She didn’t count on me staying wrapped up even after she claimed to be pregnant and I had a ring on her finger. But, something in the back of my head didn’t feel right. I never fucked her without protection and I'm thankful to this
day that I listened to my gut.”
I couldn’t believe that someone would do that. Claiming to be pregnant just to manipulate someone else was disgusting. “I'm sorry she did that to you,” I whisper, running my fingers along the underside of his jaw.
“I am too.”
“So, what does she want when she tracks you down?”
“Don’t know. I don’t give a fuck and I don’t take her calls. I want nothing to do with her. I have Kenton keep track of her and what she’s up to. Some people are unstable and she’s one of them. Plus, a few years ago, she showed up in town and started talking shit. I lost a good friend because of her.” Well, I am no longer worried about how he feels about his ex. I hate her and what she did to him, and if I ever see her, I might beat the crap out of her.
“I’m sorry that you had to go through that.”
“Even shit like that can teach you the best lessons.”
“What lesson did you learn?”
“Let’s just say the road to hell is paved with good intentions.”
I smile at him. “Good lesson?” My head comes up when my phone starts ringing from the bedroom. “I should get that. It might be Tia.” I kiss him and climb off his lap to answer it. Being Christmas, I know that I can expect a few phone calls from my friends in New York. When I finally get to my phone, it has stopped ringing so I flip it open to see who the call is from. It is a New York number that I don’t recognize but the person left a voice mail. I put my phone to my ear to listen and have to fight the urge to throw it across the room when I hear my ex-fiancé’s voice.
“Hey, I…um, just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas. I know it’s been awhile, but I wanted to tell you that I love you and miss you, November. I know I messed up.” There is a long pause and I think he's hung up, then I hear a deep breath. “I hope you can forgive me. I miss you. Please call me back.” My face must say it all. Next thing I know, my phone is out of my hand and Asher has it to his ear. He takes it away and looks at it, and then presses a button and puts it back to his ear. I know he is listening to the voice mail I just heard. I watch in fascination as his jaw clenches and I hear my phone cracking in his hand.