Once J has the music he wants playing, he joins me under the blanket. I propped a couple pillows along the bed under the back windows so we can rest against them. J starts pulling out our snacks, passing me one of the sandwiches his mom made for us, a bag of chips, and a bottle of sweet tea, which taste so much better than the tea back home.
J shifts his body, angling himself more towards me. “So my parents and I were talking colleges the other day. They were asking me if I had any plans to go and so on. It made me wonder what your plans were.”
I take a bit of my sandwich, giving myself a moment to think about what I really wanted to do. College is something I have pondered on, more so recently, and I really want to go, I’m just not sure where or what I’m going to major in.
“I would like to go, J. As far as where or what my major will be, I don’t have the slightest idea,” I reply with a short laugh.
“What can you see yourself doing, babe?”
I shrug and pop a chip in my mouth. “I’ve thought about teaching elementary kids, but I don’t know if I really want to. Really, I just wanted to get through my general education courses before making a final decision.”
“Are there any colleges you are opposed to?”
I’ll go anywhere as long as it takes me away from my parents.
Shaking my head, I reply, “No, as long as it doesn’t me an arm and a leg.”
“Cassie, you make freakin’ straight A’s! I have no doubt that if you apply for scholarships you will get plenty of them.”
Yeah, I’m working my butt off in school for that reason alone. Being able to go to college and fleeing my crack headed parents is what I’m aiming for.
“I have no way of applying, J. I don’t have a computer or internet to do it.”
“You can do it at school or next time you’re here we can do it.” He stops and clears his throat. He shifts so he is fully facing me now, looking serious, leaving me to wonder if what he is fixing to say is bad.
J grabs my free hand, grasping it in between his calloused hands. Have I mentioned that I love the way his hands feel?
“So, I plan on applying to the University of Alabama…and I want you to apply with me.”
I blink rapidly a few times. He can’t be serious? “Y-You really want me to go to college with you?”
He kisses my knuckles. “Well duh, I’m not going to go where you’re not.”
A depressing thought enters my mind. “What if I can’t afford to go to the same college as you?”
“Cassie, other than scholarships, you have loans and grants that can help you pay for school. We will figure all of it out when the time comes, right now, I just want to hear you say yes to go away to Alabama with me.”
I gaze into his eyes, and at this moment, I know I will go anywhere with him. “Yes, J, I will go off to college with you.”
He visibly relaxes and smiles brightly.
“How far away is this university?”
“Eh, not far, probably just over an hour.”
Not far away enough from dear ole mom and dad, but I’m sure by then they will be in another town anyway.
“When are we applying?”
“Well, when do you want to start?”
“In the fall, I guess.”
“Okay, then we will apply within the next few weeks.”
Is it awful that right now I am wishing time would jump forward to graduation?
Should I even be making these promises to him? Probably not, but I can’t help myself. J and I are looking toward the future, and as much as it scares me, I just hope a miracle comes my way in the form of my parents staying here way longer than planned.
Chapter Twenty- Nine
Cassie
Calming silence surrounds us as I cuddle closer to J’s warm chest. We both have been quiet for a bit, just enjoying each other’s company while listening to the sounds of nature. J will occasionally kiss my cheek or some part of my face then go back to resting his head against mine. Nothing about this silence is uncomfortable. I can actually see myself living in this beautiful small town until I die. I sigh, wondering if I will even get the chance to.
J kisses my temple this time, his lips grazing my skin. “What are you thinking about, babe?” he asks softly.
I stare out in the distance at the surrounding trees. I feel as I need to leave a mark on this town, something that I can hopefully come back revisit. If I ever get the chance to.
“I was just thinking about much this town is growing on me.”
His body vibrates with laughter, a sound I love hearing escape him. “That doesn’t surprise me, Cass. I swear you were made for a small town such as this.”
Yet, J doesn’t know the girl I used to be, he doesn’t know how I used to look. I bet he’d think differently if he ever found out. Another secret I am keeping from him. If I knew who I really was, I’d feel like I am hiding myself from him. Maybe I still am, even though I have no earthly idea if I am the Indiana Cassie-pre-drug headed parents-or this Cassie-the one who has to hide everything from everyone.
And I know these secrets will tear J and me apart. Eventually, it will come to light, it always does, but maybe I will be long gone by then so I won’t be able to see the hate in his eyes. Seeing him pull away from me, instantly becoming an enemy to me, will gut me to my core.
“Do you have a knife?”
“That is really random, babe. And yes, I have a knife. You live in the south, Cassie, everyone has a knife and gun around here.”
Like that makes me feel safe. “Can you get it for me, please? I want to do something.”
“Sure, babe.” Without questioning my insanity, he gets up and digs around in his truck for his knife.
I move down to the tailgate, hanging my legs off the end and wait for him to return.
“Found it,” he calls.
He closes the truck door and walks over to me. J starts to hand it over but jerks it back out of my reach when I go to grab it.
“You aren’t going to run off in search of my brother are you?” he asks with a fake serious expression on his face.
“Not today no, maybe tomorrow,” I smirk and take the knife from him when he hands it over to me.
“Funny, Bo will probably shit his pants when I tell him.”
I suppress my giggle, trying to act serious. “Don’t tell him, it will ruin the element of surprise,” I pointedly state.
J chuckles. “Well, now I wouldn’t want to ruin your fun. What kind of boyfriend would I be then?”
“Exactly, now come here and help me.”
Hopping off the tailgate, I walk over the tree I had been staring at earlier. It’s a big oak tree with a wide trunk, which will be perfect.
I look over my shoulder at J when I notice he isn’t following. “What are you doing way back there?”
“Just making sure I don’t get inflicted with the blade,” he smirks. “Are you sure you know how to use a knife?”
“Er, not really.” The only kind of knives I’ve ever used are kitchen knives.
Apprehensively, he steps forward, keeping his eyes glued to the knife like he thinks someone is going to get hurt.
He takes the knife from me and gives me a pointed look. “So, what exactly are you planning here?”
“I want to carve our initials into the tree.”
A look of adoration forms in a magnificent smile. “I think I just fell in love with you more,” he murmurs, his thumb caressing my cheek.
J sets to work on my idea, scrapping the knife against the trunk of the tree. I stand back as he carefully constructs a heart, then his initials- J.A.M-followed by and ‘&’ sign under it. Then finally he carves the letters of my initials-C.A.M.
When he is done, he steps back to examine his masterpiece. J drops the knife on the tailgate before circling his arm around my waist.
“It’s better than I imagined, J. Thank you,” I murmur, laying my head on his shoulder.
We stand like this, admiring our artwork a l
ittle longer before it’s time to head back.
I’m glad we left when we did because thunder starts rolling in the distance.
We barely make it inside with all the comfort we took with us before the bottom falls out. Phew!
“You want to have some more fun?” J asks, his eyes dancing.
“Sure, why not!” I oblige.
J drops the blankets at his feet and waits for me to do the same. He wastes no time grabbing my hand, dragging me out in the middle of the pouring down rain.
“J!” I squeal when he grabs me by my waist and spins me around.
The rain continues to pour, we are soaked, and we definitely need baths, but this is so much fun.
I twist in his arms, wrapping my arms around his middle. I lay my head on his shoulder as his arms lock around me. We sway gently to the sound of rain, not even needing a melody. I can hear the faint sound of his heart beating wildly against his chest. The sound is soothing to me, comforting.
The moment is ruined by Bo when he walks out on the porch. “Hey, why am I not involved in this fun?!”
“It was spur of the moment,” J replies, clearly agitated Bo ruined our moment.
Bo empties his pockets on the porch before joining us in acting like fools. Bo grabs a football from his truck and throws it to J.
“Go long, bro!” J yells and Bo compiles, sprinting through the yard as J chunks it to him.
Bo catches it easily then throws it back to J who in turn, looks at me.
Without warning, J tosses me the ball, and of course, I drop it.
“Butterfingers,” J teases, laughing at me for not catching the stupid thing.
“I wasn’t expecting you to throw it to me!” I say defensively.
Bo has now made it back to us and is also starting to make fun of me. “You’re supposed to catch it, darlin’, not let it fall to the ground.”
“Bite me,” I grumble.
“Oh, I would, but I don’t think little brother would like it,” he jokes causing my face to flame red with embarrassment. J punches his shoulder, which only makes Bo laugh harder.
“That’s not what I meant by that!” I snap.
“It’s okay, darlin’, we all know I’m the brother you really want.”
Picking the football up from the ground, I chunk it as hard as I can at Bo. I’m happy to report I have good aim.
“Geez, I’m just messing with you, Cassie. You don’t have to injure me,” he says, rubbing the sore spot on his arm.
“Bo, you don’t listen unless someone makes you,” I point out.
“Truer words have not been spoken, darlin’,” he smirks. “This has been fun and all, but now I have to go and get ready.”
Walking up to J, I slink my arms around him. “Got a hot date, Bo?” I holler at Bo as he starts to walk away.
He grins widely. “Well, she is hot, but it’s definitely not a date.”
Before I could get a word out, J says something that makes my jaw drop to the ground. “Tell Jess I said hi, will you?”
Jess? My best friend, Jess? That little wench didn’t say a word to me about this! And here I thought she was my best friend?
“Shut your trap, darlin’, it’s not a good look on you.”
That’s it, I’ve had it with his jokes today. J must’ve sensed what I wanted to do because he suddenly cages me in his arms, holding me against him so I couldn’t charge after Bo, who just chuckles and walks into the house.
“I hate your brother,” I grumble to J who shakes his head.
Letting one arm fall away, J starts walking us towards the porch. “Come on, Cass, let’s go get cleaned up and ready for supper.”
I rush through my shower so I can hurry downstairs to help Jane finish preparing tonight’s dinner. After the first couple of times needing a change of clothes, I started bringing my own. Nine times out of ten, I will need to change.
Stopping to take one last look in the mirror to make sure I look acceptable, I freeze when I notice the large purple blemish on my right cheek. J warned me about this and he was right.
Moving the collar of my shirt to the side, I check my shoulder to see if I have one there as well. Sure enough, I do, and it’s slightly bigger than the one on my cheek.
How in the world will I be able to cover this up? I haven’t worn makeup in like a year.
Guess I will just have to let everyone see it.
Walking out of the bathroom, I run smack dab into J. “Whoa there, babe. In a hurry?”
I smile up at him, taking a moment to gaze into his honey-colored eyes. “To see you.”
He smiles in approval. “Can’t say I blame you. I came up here to kiss my girl before all I get to do is sit next to her and maybe hold her hand while we are at the dinner table for an hour.” His voice is a mixture between sounding annoyed and amused.
I have to catch myself from swooning in front of him. He knows just what to say to me.
“Well, then kiss me already,” I demand as I cup the back of his neck to bring his mouth to mine.
“So greedy,” he laughs, then obliges happily to my demand. “So beautiful,” he rasps, his lips grazing mine with each word.
I melt into a puddle of mush in front of him, my body falling into him on its own accord.
His hands dive into my hair, tilting my head up so he can kiss me deeper. Each kiss sends me up in flames. So far, we have only messed around a couple times. I’ve gotten a taste of what he could do to me, and now I want more. The more his mouth coaxes mine, the more I’m sure of it. I want J to make love to me, except I’m not sure exactly how to come out and say it.
I’m not as confident as I used to be. Yes, you can blame my parents for that as well.
A small whimper escapes my lips when his lips leave mine.
He doesn’t pull away, instead, he rests his forehead on mine, gazing longing into my eyes.
“Tonight, you, me, and our spot,” he promises, causing my stomach to flip.
The only response I can give is a nod. J has left me utterly speechless and full of nerves.
Placing a lingering kiss to my forehead, he sighs and draws back completely. His hands fall away from my hair, one dropping to my hand. He threads our fingers and leads me out of the bedroom.
Tonight needs to hurry.
Chapter Thirty
J
“Tonight,” I whisper hoarsely one last time. She nods once then slides out of my truck.
Just before she closes the door to my truck, she stops. “Oh, here is your phone and charger back. Thank you for letting me use it.” She places it on the seat neatly.
I really wish she could keep it so I have a way of contacting her whenever I want, but I can’t keep sharing a phone with Bo. I’m gonna have to talk to Mom and Dad about adding Cassie to their plan as long as I agree to work to pay for it.
“See you in a bit, babe.”
She climbs back in, stretching across the seat for another kiss before climbing back out.
“I love you, Cass,” I blurt out before she shuts the door.
Her face flushes. “I love you, too.”
I smile at her as she shuts the door and walks to her house. As usual, I wait until she is inside before leaving.
Cassie has me strung up worse than a freakin’ bull with a lasso around its legs.
Driving home, I try to come up with romantic gesture for tonight. Tonight will be a big night for our relationship. I don’t know how much experience she has had. Not that I want to imagine another guy touching her, but other than Ellen and one other girl, that’s all the experience I’ve had.
I only have a few hours to come up with a plan and to set it up. I guess I better get started.
I park my truck farther back than I normally have as a precaution. It’s midnight and I am nervous as all get out. A sinking feeling settles in my gut and I’m not sure exactly why until I reach the tree line. Cassie is standing by the window, arguing with someone. I can’t tell who just yet, but I’m definitely gonna find
out as much as I can without being seen. As much as I want to barge in there, it will cause both of us hurt. Her parents will know I came to sneak her out, which will ruin the future ones. Plus, I’m sure they won’t let me see her again. I’m not putting us in that position again.
Getting a closer look at her, it looks as if she has been crying. Man, I wish I could walk up there and fix her hurt.
She argues with the other person I can’t see for a few minutes until she moves away from the window.
A minute later, I hear the front door open and slam shut. I shrink back into the shadows farther, my fists curling at my sides when I make out Zack’s features.
What is doing at Cassie’s, especially at this hour? Zack is cussing up a storm as he slides in his car. He peels out of the driveway, slinging gravel. Scanning the front porch and all the windows, I make sure I do not see anyone before making a run for Cassie’s window. Her bedroom light is off now, but I can hear her softly crying through the window.
Praying that it is safe, I lightly tap on the glass, my heart pounding in my chest.
I hear shuffling then the window is slowly rising.
She is still sniffling again. “Cassie, baby, what’s wrong?” I whisper, asking the question I’m dying to know the answer to.
“Let me make sure they are asleep first, then I will tell you.”
She disappears again, then is back a couple minutes later.
Cassie swings her legs out of the window, and I rest my hands on her hips, guiding her down until her feet touch the grass.
We sprint through the trees, her hand firmly clasped in mine, not stopping until we reach my truck.
I hope like hell, Zack didn’t see my truck. Heck, I’m not even sure which way he turned when he left the drive, I was too busy worrying about Cassie.
He’d rat us out for sure.
After making sure Cassie is seated inside my truck, I run around and jump in.
Once I crank my truck, I turn on my headlights. Cassie and I both let out a scream. Zack is standing in front of my truck with a scowl on his face.
Safe with You Page 17