by J. Naomi Ay
When she returned to the palace for tea, she planned to take a call from her daughter, Angelica. Although she hadn't spoken to the young lady in weeks, the press kept her very well up to date on her sole offspring's adventures. As of late, Angelica was starring in a reality show that took place on an island.
No, that wasn't right. That show had been cancelled. Now, Angelica was in another show which happened to be in a domed city on a moon. It was called 'Living with Squids', or something like that. Elana couldn't recall the exact moniker. All she knew was that her daughter had a new squid friend, and aghast, lover.
Well, actually, he wasn't a squid per se. Certainly, not the kind that one deep fried and ate with tartar sauce. No, the Crown Princess Angelica's new friend was a creature from planet Squideo II, and though of somewhat high intelligence, looked quite similar to a calamaro.
Elana sighed heavily, and set down her coffee. She loved her daughter very much. That wasn't a question. However, she feared for the people of her realm, and the future of her beloved planetary home, once she met her demise.
Angelica simply was not prepared to be a queen. She was young still, but always had been very fickle. She refused to return home, to fulfil the duties of the princess next in line. Being a vid star was obviously far more appealing, and less work.
That wasn't the only problem Elana currently faced. There simply was no one after Angelica should the normal succession come to pass. Her only grandchild, if you could call him that, was a dual headed Beckwad, which Angelica had somehow conceived. Although, come to think of it, hadn’t Elana heard that he had been split?
Again, Elana sighed heavily, and shook her head. Her life simply hadn't turned out the way she had always imagined.
First off, she had assumed, her mother, the queen before her, would have lived an extra thirty years beyond the ones she did. Queen Elana II’s untimely passing came as a shock to the already suffering Elana III, who had only recently lost her husband, Captain Marik Korelesk. If that wasn’t bad enough, Angelica became pregnant at the age of fifteen during a drunken binge at party full of inter-species rockers.
Like a snowball rolling downhill, Elana’s life went from one crisis to another, as she assumed the throne amazingly ill prepared. Between the economists, the bureaucrats, and the politicians, as well as the sponges and hanger’s on, Elana was constantly being advised what she should and should not do.
The new queen’s head was spinning, while her heart was broken in a thousand pieces. Were it not for chocolate, Elana would have easily called it quits. Within the first six months of her reign, Elana gained one hundred and seventy pounds primarily due to the consumption of Milky Way bars. The dark chocolate ones.
One day when Elana was seated at her royal desk, royal tears flooding down her newly rounded royal face, royal duties undone with no prospect of being completed any time soon, her vid rang.
“Who is it?” Elana called out, her voice choked with phlegm, her nose stuffed with unshed tears.
“Hello Elana,” a deep voice replied, although the screen remained black and blank.
“Who is this?” Elana repeated, sniffling hard, her royal training kicking into gear. No one called the Queen by her first name, save her father or her husband who were both now dead. “What do you want, and how did you get my private number?”
“Elana,” the voice repeated patiently. “You are having some difficulty, and I shall assist you. Cyganus is a protectorate within my empire. Now, tell me about the issues which are before you, and what you aim to do.”
For the first time in a long time, Elana felt a tiny bead of hope. It erupted from her stomach and bubbled out her mouth.
“Oh, thank you, Sir,” the new queen wept, now recognizing the Emperor’s unique and lyrical accent. She shuffled the papers upon her desk before proceeding to discuss the issues one by one.
The Emperor had become Elana’s saving grace. In the beginning, she rang him nearly every day. Always, he advised her correctly, and in a quiet way, taught her the royal rules which she had been lacking. He became a sort of father-figure to her, as well as a confident, and almost a friend. Of course, that was a completely one-sided friendship, as the Emperor never responded to any queries about himself. He merely let Elana prattle on, such that she drew comfort from the thought that someone out there cared for her, and was willing to have a listen.
Once, when the Emperor had been particularly helpful regarding an issue that Elana could no longer recall, she had cried out with exhilaration, “Bless you, Sir. I shall forever be in your debt.”
“Your debt shall be paid, Elana,” he had replied. “You shall know when the time has come to pass. Until then, you shall owe me, and I always collect.”
Elana had laughed, assuming he was joking. He was not. He never joked. And, still didn’t.
Elana, to her chagrin, found herself becoming overly attached to these Imperial Conversations. Every night, she began to replay them in her head, as she lay in her lonely, queenly bed. She imagined the Emperor, instead of in his office in Mishnah, somewhere much closer, such as right here. Yes, right there. His deep dulcet tones would send shivers down her spine. His shiny black and silver hair would be like silk against her skin. And, that eagle tattoo, no, that branding, whatever in the hell it was, her fingers just ached to run across it, as well as his biceps, and his pects, and his…
“Oh god, Elana,” she groaned, rolling over on her formidable stomach. She ordered her frantically beating heart to knock it off, but the humble organ refused to listen. “The man is as old as your father would have been.”
Actually, he was several million years older, not that it mattered.
In any case, Elana’s infatuation was a cross she had to bear, which could only be resolved by one of two things. One, of course, was the Emperor himself, who if he knew of her longings, never indicated so. The other was chocolate ice cream, a gallon or two. During this time, Elana added another seventy pounds, although she refused to stand on a scale to confirm this.
Then, the Emperor disappeared, and once again, Elana was plunged into desperation and despair, so much so, even chocolate ice cream offered no relief. She wasn’t alone in her grief at all. In fact, the entire Empire reeled from the absence of The Man, before proceeding to fall apart for a variety of reasons.
Elana’s life, and her Queendom of Cygnaus simultaneously spiraled of out of control when blow after blow crossed the prominent bow of the ship-wide queen.
On the very day that the Prime Minister of Corganus rang to complain about Cyganian refugees arriving en masse upon their shores, and to threaten an embargo of all traded goods until the illegal immigration ceased, a woman walked into Elana’s office, startling the queen so much so her overburdened heart nearly gave out. It was Hannah, the one-time princess, with a boy the spitting image of Captain Marik Korelesk.
Elana spat her coffee all over her desk ruining a new white blotter she had just installed.
“Hannah,” she gasped. “Who in the hell is this?”
“Kari-fa Elana!” the one-time princess cried. “What happened to you? You look like a heart attack waiting to happen.”
“I’m not waiting anymore. I’m already having one. That boy, he’s the image of my late husband, Marik Korelesk.”
“That’s because your late husband, Marik Korelesk is the boy’s father.”
Before Elana passed out upon the floor, she had the poise and regal aplomb to order Hannah and her bastard out the door. In fact, the Queen commanded the one-time princess off of her planet, and forbid either of them to ever return again. Then, she collapsed next to her desk, as she was too big to fit on top or under it. After which, she stayed in bed for nearly three weeks.
When Elana returned to her duties, she was an entirely new woman. While lying in bed, she had refused to eat, causing a loss of twenty pounds. Once she arose, she decided to continue avoiding all fats, proteins and carbs, mimicking her late mother’s diet of only tiny toast points and tea.
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br /> Elana lost all the excess weight, growing so thin when she turned sideways, she could barely be seen. However, this wasn’t due entirely to food consumption, as the stress in her life had only increased. Angelica was sleeping with a squid, and Corganus was threatening a war. The only grandchild the Queen had was split in two, and everyone else she knew was dead or soon to be. Elana grew very bitter, turning her anger on the unsuspecting people of Cyganus, who were frantically catching every ship, boat, and train off the planet.
Queen Elana began to order executions right and left. Spitting on a sidewalk earned a Cyganian forty lashes. Laughing in a somber place, or not respecting the Cyganian flag would grant someone an indefinite stay in prison.
With an iron fist, Elana continued to rule Cyganus, which was now in such a state of disrepair, it made Andorus III look good. The Queen took no joy from this. In fact, the strife depressed her more, but she simply had no clue how to turn this wreck around.
The only pleasure Elana experienced in her wretched life was the day her sister Marie rang to announce her impeding return.
The Queen wasn’t so pleased that her sister was coming home, as she had despised her younger sibling for many years. Rather, her joy came from the knowledge that Marie had failed miserably in life too, despite being blessed with more beauty and wit. In fact, if anyone’s life had turned out worse than Queen Elana’s, it was only that of the one-time, once-Duchess Marie of Korelesk.
Chapter 15
Vinz never imagined that he would ever have any business which would take him through the ornate glass and brass doors of the Farku Waldorf-Astoria. Certainly, he never dreamed that the reason he would pass through the magnificent marble foyer, beneath the sparkling crystal chandelier, and into the glass lift, which instantly whisked him to the fifteenth floor, would be to meet Gani’s drug dealer for the sole purpose of pleading for her life.
Lee, on the other hand, seemed perfectly at home within all this grandeur.
“My ex-wife used to be a princess,” he said, matter-of-factly.
“Uh huh,” Vinz muttered, noting that the sour alcohol stench pervasive about Lee’s body and breath, had abated only slightly since their acquaintance. However, Lee’s extraordinarily large and toothy grin had vanished altogether, replaced by a dour, morose, hung-over frown.
“I hate her,” Lee continued. “She was a fucking Karut like you, but that’s not why I hate her, and I don’t hate you.”
“Good to know.” Vinz nodded, following Gani out of the lift, and down the silent hallway of knob-less doors. The carpet was so thick and plush, his footsteps instantly disappeared, as did his breath as soon as he exhaled it.
“I once went with her to the Imperial Palace. Her ex-husband, the Imperial Dick invited us to something. I can’t remember what.”
“Really?” Vinz replied, assuming Lee’s alcohol saturated brain was severely damaged. “Your ex-wife wouldn’t happen to be Hannah of Shrotru?”
“Yeah, that’s her,” Lee grumbled, as Gani stopped before a door, her tiny hand reaching out to the ornate brass knocker. “You’ve heard of her?”
Of course, Vinz had heard of Hannah. She was practically a celebrity amongst the Karupatani. In every village he had wandered through the old ladies loved to gossip about the woman.
Although she hadn’t been seen or heard from in several years, Hannah’s fame came from having once snared the Imperial Prince Shika, followed by a brief affair with the Prince’s cousin, Captain Marik Korelesk. This was the same Captain Marik who just so happened to be Duchess Luci’s eldest son by her husband, Duke Berkan, Vinz’s college friend. Hannah had produced an offspring from that illicit union, a child also known as Marik Korelesk, but like his mother, he had similarly disappeared.
“I didn’t know she married a Cascadian,” Vinz murmured, in tones befitting the quiet atmosphere of the muted hall, while they waited for someone to answer Gani’s knock. “Was that before or after the Imperial Prince?”
“Between the Imperial Dick and the Captain Shithead. Not only were we married, but we had two kids, of whom she abandoned. It broke their young hearts when their mother walked away.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Vinz truly was. His heart was soft and ached for Lee and his young progeny. Although he was curious about this union, he didn’t ask who the children favored. Did they look like Lee, who was easily eight feet tall with three rows of teeth, or the diminutive Hannah, who from what Vinz had seen, was a normal, quite attractive Karupta woman. Still, it was tragic none-the-less, as children were children no matter their genetic makeup. “How are they now? Have they recovered from their loss?”
Lee snorted.
“They’ve both joined that ridiculous cult of Rossorian fools. I haven’t seen them in a few years because I refuse to walk around in an blue cloak or pray twenty-seven times a day. Instead, I’m bound and determined to exact my revenge on every Korelesk in existence, especially the brat begat by Captain Marik and my ex-wife Hannah.”
“How will you find him?” Vinz asked, fearing for his beloved Luci and her tribe of brethren, while quickly calculating how to distance himself from this rabid Cascadian man.
“I just will. I know it. I have a feeling in my gut.”
Surprisingly, Lee’s gut feelings were amazingly prophetic. Just as he announced this, the door swung open to reveal Gani’s boss, the aforementioned Marik Korelesk in living color.
“Marik!” Gani wept, throwing herself into the young boy’s arms. “I was attacked and all my stuff was stolen. Vinz and Lee will tell you it’s the truth.” She waved her tail at the men behind her, who were both stunned stupid, and in a state of shock.
“Berkan!” Vinz gasped, when he could finally breathe.
The image before him was like seeing through a time tunnel into the past. The face, the eyes, and the size of him were all the same as his old friend fifty years ago. The only difference Vinz could gather, in this quick assessment through the door, was the boy’s voice was still high and reedy, and his hair was blue like Luci’s.
“Marik Korelesk!” Lee hissed, holding out his giant hand, ready to grasp the boy about the neck and snap it in two.
This would eliminate the prime object of Lee’s quest, giving him more satisfaction than any number of alcoholic drinks. Unfortunately, he was stymied in this action by two things. One of which was Gani’s tail which was poking him in the eye, and the second being Vinz’s hands, which were pulling at his wrist. While Lee’s strength far exceeded Vinz’s, the old man’s grip was fairly strong, thus infuriating the giant even more.
“I’ll kill you,” he roared at no one in particular.
“Bork!” Marik screamed in his high pitched voice.
Out of nowhere the squidman appeared, his eight arms and suction cups immediately immobilizing the Cascadian, who he then dragged across the plush gold carpet into the center of the room.
Gani, still clinging to Marik’s neck and chest, was carried into the suite like a royal princess. Marik hadn’t yet put her down, something which surprised both him and the girl. She was nice and soft, Marik realized, and warm and fuzzy like a stuffed thing. In fact, Marik liked her presence so much so, he decided, he wanted to sleep with her in his bed. He’d toss out all his extra pillows, and the stuffed toys he had clung to for several years. Instead, he would tie this monkey girl there with a rope around her neck, and maybe, one about her wrist.
The boy had no intention of doing anything illicit with her, as young Marik was still far too young for that. No, Gani was to be his pillow and his toy, and nothing more. However, as he carried her off to his bedroom, she didn’t know that. In fact, she figured she was in for fun, as well as forgiveness for having lost her stash, so when the boy tossed her on the bed, she was quite aroused.
“Ooo,” Gani groaned seductively, swishing her tail around in a manner that had made all the other men very excited. “I didn’t know you were into kink.”
“Yep,” the boy replied, although he didn’t
recognize the term, as Dark was a language he had never spoken.
“I’m ready,” Gani purred, watching as Marik tied her wrists with the same kind of plastic tie in which they sealed their bags of drugs. He laced several more together to make a loop big enough to encase her neck, which he then fastened to the brass headboard beneath the Waldorf-Astoria logo.
Gani giggled. This was very unexpected, and so far, lots of fun.
“What about my ankles?” She wiggled her feet, twisting her tiny toes this way and that, wondering if the boy would like them in his mouth.
Marik thought carefully for a moment, and studied her toes, before deciding to leave them unattached as she might need to move them around.
“No,” he replied, with a yawn, for the night before had been another long, insomnious slog of watching the stars, and waiting for the morning to finally arrive. Since Leta-Reta had left in search of his archenemy, the other Korelesk, the boy had hardly been able to sleep a wink. “Do you know any stories? I like fairy tales.”
“What?” Gani giggled again, wondering if next he might want her to dress as a nurse or a policewoman. Although the squidman had been unique, Marik clearly was into all sorts of games. “I suppose I could think of one. What do you want to hear?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Marik yawned again, as he settled next to Gani. He put his head upon her chest, but there wasn’t much there, and it wasn’t very soft, so he moved lower and nestled into her fluffy stomach.
“Ooo,” Gani gasped. “You’re very good. This is already fun.”
“Story?”
“Right. Um…” Gani tried to think. She could tell him about her previous trysts, although neither Dirkeh nor Bork were as interesting as this.