"Don't say that. They had a leak and kidnappers and everything." I wanted to defend him from himself.
He smiled ruefully. "They plugged the leak, but it took some time. Then it took more time to find you — and a lot more time to get close enough to find out exactly where you were being held and coordinate a raid that actually had a chance at success."
"I was on the ranch, mostly. I didn't think it would be that hard to find," I said in a small voice. That place had become my whole world. It had felt huge, too huge to miss, the center of the landscape dominated by Hoss and his network of power.
"It was, though. Some of those places are more secure than a small country. He's a piece of work, Kinterel."
I nodded. I knew that. "You shouldn't have gone undercover."
"Somebody had to, to be sure you were there. And I wanted you to know we were working on extracting you."
"You scared me. I thought you'd be killed, for sure."
Somehow, while we were talking, our hands had found each other and were now holding on. We walked together like that, hand in hand, slowly, around the garden and then around again.
I didn't pull away. It felt right; there was something settled and calm about holding his hand. None of the heart-pounding, sweaty-palm feeling of tumbling into a crush, but something warmer and sturdier, something real.
Had he even noticed we were holding hands? He wasn't pulling away.
"Drew," said Neal hesitantly. "After we found you, I specifically did not want to be your bodyguard anymore. Aside from the fact that I lost you once — never again — I — I'd rather not have that professional relationship between us."
"I understand," I said quietly. I started to pull my hand free.
He gave it a squeeze and held on. "I don't think you do, Drew. I — I tried very hard to be professional, but from the minute I saw you, that day in the bookstore, you turned my head. I couldn't do anything about that while I had to protect you. You and your big, sweet eyes and your zest for life and the way you care about everything and try to do your best, no matter what. It kills me that they hurt you and tried to twist you into something you're not. But you're still you. Maybe not as happy and lively as you used to be, but you've been through so much. You'll get your smile back. Your beautiful smile."
His smile looked a little fractured now. "Those long months while we tried to get you out, keep you alive — it was horrible. Not nearly as bad as it was for you, of course, but... I don't want to lose you again, Drew. And I don't want to be your bodyguard. I'd like to be your boyfriend, if you'll consider going out with me. I feel like there's something here that could be real. I'd love to try, if you'll take the chance with me. You don't have to decide now. Take your time. I'm just putting it out there — I want to go out with you."
Really? Was I dreaming? My mouth had gone dry, and I felt lightheaded, but I found I could, after all, speak. "Go out?" I teased softly, my mouth quirking up into a tiny smile. "Go steady, maybe?"
"Date me," he said, grinning. "Pretty please?"
"You're pretty dated already."
His eyes sparkled warm and happy. "Oh, so, what do the kids call it these days, then?"
"I don't know." I didn't; I couldn't think of anything else at the moment but him, standing there, his eyes shining, my hero, my crush — and more. He liked me, too. He'd liked me from the first, but he'd been too honorable to do anything about it.
It hadn't been just me with these feelings. He wanted me; he'd wanted me before I had any useful ability at all.
I stood as tall as I could and kissed him. His mouth was soft, and the kiss was sweet, only hinting at how purely sinfully hot it could get later, when we were alone, when we had time, when we were ready.
"Oh," said Neal, rather breathlessly, when we drew apart. Then he grabbed me in a tight embrace and kissed me again, and the world melted away.
Not a bodyguard, not a crush — a boyfriend, and someone who had cared enough to keep looking for me for months and not give up, someone who liked me no matter what locks I could or couldn't open.
Whatever life headed for us next, we'd be facing it together.
He definitely had the key to my heart. But it wasn't locked at all, not for him, my Neal.
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