“I want you to stand by your word, Natalie.” He couldn’t hide his agitation.
“This wasn’t what we talked about.”
“It’s a hurdle, that’s all it is.” His voice was calming, trying to talk sense into the woman before him. Michael was a natural salesman; all he had to do was convince Natalie what was in it for her. Benefits before features, he reminded himself.
“There’s a big payoff at the end, and when our assets are liquid again, monthly payments. Besides, you get to spend time with me.” He tried to grin, tried to make it playful, but he wasn’t in a playful mood and his façade spoke the truth. It was an illusion to lure her back with money. But obviously that’s all it was to her, money. The truth hurt.
Why should it? It was about the money from the beginning – it’s just that after they’d spent time together, after they made love, he was feeling things, embers were stirring inside. It was silly to believe this would be different.
Natalie looked down, her fingers rubbing her arm mindlessly. She didn’t know what to say. Sucking her cheek in, she gently bit the inside of it trying to corral her stress. She didn’t mean to let him down, but this was bigger than she was ready to tackle.
Being seen with them could hurt her reputation, and she relied on her image to make bank. Okay, so maybe lately it hasn’t been paying the bills so well, but it was still her livelihood. Only it wasn’t. She’d signed a contract, taken a job to be Michael’s companion, and now she wanted out. Not out of his life, she would still be his friend, but out of the contract. The terms had changed. Only, he wouldn’t want her as a friend if she was the kind of person to walk away when things got tough. Is that who she truly was? She was learning more about herself than she wanted to know.
She felt resignation in her chest, the tightness finally buckling, her shoulders slumping. “Fine. I’ll stay for now. No promises,” she shot out, “and if it gets to be too much, I want out. This isn’t what I bargained for.”
Michael’s face brightened, but he wasn’t sure he believed her. And truth be told, it was an iron clad contract, but he wanted her to at least feel like it was her idea. Life would be so much easier if she went along for the ride, instead of bucking and fighting every step of the way.
“It will all blow over. My father’s going to plead guilty, pay a fine, and maybe get some time off at a white collar correctional facility.” He couldn’t bring himself to say the word jail aloud. It made it too real.
Natalie knew it wouldn’t be that easy, or that short. The media would draw it out, attack like piranhas and latch on to the story. That’s what they do; feed on those who are foolish enough to get themselves into these predicaments. He was a big enough name to be recognized by many, and small enough that they could vilify him without people standing up to them. He was the perfect size of small potatoes that made a big mistake. Someone more powerful might come after them, but someone like Kent Davidson would simply have to squirm and take it.
Michael moved in closer, his fingers tangling in her soft hair. “Can we go back to where we were?”
“I’m not ready.” Her shoulders were tight, and as much as she said she’d stay, she wasn’t feeling good about it.
“Right.” He stepped back and brushed off his disappointment. He’d settle for any warmth, like when she took him in her arms as he walked in; only all that was left was a polite coolness. “I should go. I’ll be in touch.”
“Right.” She wasn’t stopping him. Natalie needed time to absorb what this truly meant, and what it didn’t mean. Her bank account would be dry, and without money, it was hard to be enthusiastic about standing by his side. It’s not that she didn’t like the guy, and let’s face it, his father did the misdeed, but once again her life spun on its axis and she felt out of control.
“Michael, I’m sorry you’re going through all of this.” It was the least she could say. She should have said more, but she couldn’t find the words.
He nodded and then left.
Only days before she was in bed with him, thinking that life had given her a pleasant surprise. He enthralled her, drew her in, and had her wanting more. Now all that was left was a chill in the air when he left. So much for falling in love.
Pulling open the door, she ran after him. “Michael, wait.”
She saw the surprise in his face as he turned around.
“Don’t go, not yet.” Lowering her head, she apologized. “I don’t want to leave things this way, not after…after the other night.”
Watching her face, he saw sincerity. It was what he needed more than anything right now.
“Come back inside.”
He sat beside her, on the edge of her bed. “I’m not my dad’s biggest fan, but I don’t want him to go to…well, you know.”
“Maybe he won’t. Maybe there will just be a fine.”
“He owes millions.”
She was at a loss. She truly had no concept that their little industry was making that kind of money. It was hard for her to wrap her head around. People don’t talk about the companies that make bits and pieces for machines, but this one was apparently doing well.
“I feel like a fool, tying up all my investments in one place. I put all my eggs in one basket, and now I’ll pay for it. I never expected my own father to betray us.”
“I’m sorry.”
They sat beside one another with nothing left to say. The truth was, they were still getting to know one another, and while they’d made love and shared some time together, there wasn’t another connection – a friendship that had grown over years, knowing each other’s ins and outs, knowing what to say to make it better. It became obvious that they had a long way to go to make this a real relationship.
Sure, they could make love and there was some sexual tension between them, but friendship, that’s what was lacking. Natalie wanted to be his friend, wanted to help, but wasn’t sure how to bridge that barrier. These things take time. She figured time was the one thing she had if she was going to follow through and stand by his side.
She decided to pacify the moment with a simple, “It will all work out.”
The awkwardness stood between them. He was grateful she was beside him, but the lack of a bond, a true bond, was obvious. He had feelings, he was sure of that. But were they just feelings of lust? Could it be more than that? They connected, but not in a way that he needed right now. He didn’t need to make love to Natalie, he needed her to comfort him and chase away his demons.
He wasn’t used to needing anyone and had always been more than capable of taking care of himself, but for the first time in forever he felt completely alone and vulnerable.
With his father’s mess, the company in trouble, and most of his money in accounts that were frozen, Michael Davidson was overwhelmed. Michael’s chest caved in, and with barely more than a mumble, he said thanks. His eyes glazed over as he stared ahead. All he wanted to do was to curl up into a ball and burrow under the covers. That wasn’t the man he was, and yet in this moment, nothing else mattered.
He was the take charge guy, the guy willing to lead the masses, the guy that always had an answer – and this new feeling surging through him caught him off guard. He didn’t like it one bit, and yet as the shadow climbed over him, he felt trapped beneath it.
Michael took a deep breath, swearing the oxygen wasn’t making it into his lungs or to his brain. He felt numb and detached as he leaned into the woman beside him.
Natalie put her arm around Michael and crumbled, seeing him hurting so badly. A little compassion was what he needed, not some stupid words like “it will be okay,” she scolded herself.
Silently, she stroked his arm. This was what he needed more than anything – to not feel alone.
Michael felt like a child, missing the comforting touch only a mother could provide – something he’d never known. Maybe this is what it felt like -- warm, safe, and not feeling so alone. He appreciated Natalie’s efforts, and was happy he came back.
He had no
idea what his future would hold, but for now it looked like he wouldn’t be alone.
Chapter 4
Natalie didn’t expect it when the news got bigger. Not only had Kent Davidson been charged with tax evasion, but her period was late. The last few weeks, she did the best she could to soothe Michael. He seemed to be getting a grip on the reality of the controversy. She didn’t have the heart to tell him yet, because she had no idea what it would mean. It was that stupid second time they made love that night, they went without a condom. She should have known better, and the last thing she needed was to end up pregnant.
For some reason, the news latched on to Kent’s story as they dug into his past. He was fodder for gossip, having been married so many times, and the idea that his first wife died in a boating accident was suddenly seen with suspicion. That was the hardest part for Michael to hear. His father swore it was ruled an accident, but the seed had been planted, and his faith in his father tainted.
It was an accident, Kent swore, but no matter how he said it, he knew his son would always have doubt over the incident. The damn media was tearing into him, leaving nothing but scraps of his life. How they could fling half-truths and total lies was beyond him, and if had the means after he paid back the taxes, he’d go after those bastards for putting his family through this.
His latest wife cut and run, and he could have cared less. He didn’t feel anything for her anyhow. She was just a warm body in his bed and a person to spend his money he no longer had. But Michael – Michael was the one person he did give a damn about, and seeing him hurting so badly was shredding him apart.
Natalie’s possible pregnancy had her reeling. With her period late, she couldn’t fathom what this would mean. First off, she was in no way ready to be a mother, and Michael wasn’t in the position to be a father right now. This wasn’t a child born from love, but one from a lustful moment. She never wanted to think like that, but she couldn’t help herself. And how could she bring a child into this chaos?
She’d have to make a choice, and it would be difficult. Having a baby meant doing the responsible thing, and that meant a peaceful and happy home. She couldn’t let him live in a family that was crumbling and taking everyone down with them. No, she’d have to get out of the contract and raise the child alone. That thought alone overwhelmed her.
Natalie pulled her arms closer to her body, taking a deep breath, realizing the impact this would have on her life. She couldn’t afford a child; she could barely afford to take care of herself. Would she have to go back home – let go of her life here in the city, and admit that she’d failed? She’d do it for her child, to give them a more stable life, but that meant that Michael wouldn’t be in the picture and that wasn’t fair to him either. Would he go with her? Would he start over?
This was crazy. She probably wasn’t even pregnant, and she’d put herself through all this stress for nothing. It would be here soon and life could move forward, though she had no idea what her life would consist of at this point. There was supposed to be an engagement, but she wasn’t doing anything until she found out the truth. She’d put off going to the pharmacy to pick up a pregnancy kit, but today was as good as any other day to find out. She almost didn’t want to know, because it could once again shift her world in ways she wasn’t ready for.
Pulling on her shoes, Natalie headed out the door. She bumped into Mrs. Burton as she was coming home. “Say hi to Emily for me,” she said, and then went on her way. She was relieved she wasn’t responsible for the little cat anymore, but she did enjoy her short time with the kitty. It’s just that she didn’t want somebody, anybody, counting on her every single day. It made her feel caged in. Oh my gosh, if she had a child…she just wasn’t ready. It’s not that she wouldn’t love her baby; she would, she was sure of it, but she didn’t want to have a child this way. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them, her or her baby.
Natalie was lost in thought as she wandered down the aisle of the local pharmacy. She hadn’t expected to see Victoria there. She hadn’t talked to her much lately, since she wasn’t picking up new jobs, and Victoria wasn’t much of a “do your own errands” kind of girl.
“Victoria?”
“Hey.” They both stood there holding their purchases. “Don’t get too close, I have a cold,” she said, her red nose confirming her statement. She glanced at the box in Natalie’s hands. “Oh.”
Natalie shrugged, embarrassed to be holding it. She could claim it was for somebody else, but she knew she didn’t have many friends to point to. “Yeah, well, here’s hoping it’s negative,” she said.
“Is it his? Oh, that’s wrong. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”
Natalie didn’t answer. She couldn’t, the tears were welling up. “I’m not ready.”
“It will all work out,” she soothed, and then begged off.
Natalie felt foolish, crying in the aisle with her pregnancy test kit. This wasn’t what she wanted.
As the women went their separate ways, Natalie emotions got the best of her. It’s not like she planned this, and she wasn’t even prepared to be a mother. And Michael had enough crap going on in his life, that he didn’t need the added pressure of this. It was immature of them to skip the condom the second time. Scolding herself, her emotions swirled faster than she could keep up with. It was like somebody was blending the perfect concoction of mess inside of her brain and body.
Natalie stared at the box in her hands and made her way to the check-out counter. Paying for the kit, she carried the bag out of the store, numbness washing through her. Sighing deeply, Natalie was lost in thought as she stumbled through the crowd to make her way home. Should she take the test now, or wait until first thing in the morning? There were two tests in the kit, maybe she’d do both.
How would she tell him? What would she say? The outcome was too much to wrap her head around, and each possibility could change everything.
Biting her lip, Natalie pulled at her collar. It’s like she couldn’t breathe. It was so hot suddenly, and her shirt was smothering her. Tugging at the material, all she wanted to do was cool off and breathe, dammit, just breathe. She self-soothed, trying to calm down, and as she sucked in her cheek, she slowly counted in her brain, forcing herself to focus on calm, basic breathing. Oh my god, just breathe. The darkness was coming at her fast. Natalie stood frozen on the sidewalk, oblivious to the stares as she started to hyperventilate.
“Breathe into this,” a stranger said, having dumped food out of a brown lunch bag and offering her the paper sack.
She heard him and did as he said, but felt like he was in the distance. She was about to drop, pass out right there on the street, and did as he instructed, breathing into the brown paper bag. Slowly her head cleared, and on regaining her composure, she turned to thank the man that had helped her.
“Are you okay, lady?”
She nodded. “I will be.”
“Keep the bag in case you need it again.”
“Thank you.” And just like that, he was on his way. A random stranger stepping in to save the day, and as he faded into the crowded sidewalk, she wished she’d gotten his name. Standing, looking around, she felt foolish. Rushing back to her apartment with her newly cleared head, she made her way up the stairs. When will that stupid elevator be fixed? She hated climbing so many stairs, especially on a day like today.
Letting herself in, Natalie threw the box on the counter and sat down. Her foot was bouncing, tapping quickly, and twisting a strand of hair around her finger, she stared over at the box. She hated that thing, resented the box, and yet it held all the answers. She didn’t want to know, and yet she needed to. It would predict the future.
Her mouth was dry, and as the feeling overtook her, she stood to get a glass of water. She avoided the box, not wanting to touch it. It was still shoved in the plastic bag, but she knew it was in there, simply waiting to be used, taunting her.
Drinking her water, she stood warily watching the box as if it would do something. Fi
nally finding her courage, she took it out of the bag and read the directions. She knew what to do, but it would delay the inevitable. She could do one today and one first thing in the morning, or maybe she’d just wait until the morning. That probably made better sense. She knew she didn’t have the patience to wait and would be checking one today. She just wasn’t ready yet. Soon, she told herself…soon.
When the moment came, relief washed through her. One down, one to go, and if tomorrow’s was negative too, she’d have her life back. Climbing onto her bed, she smiled, realizing what a close call it was. She wouldn’t make that mistake again…in fact, sex was off the table for now. There was no way she was ready to be a mother. It was painfully clear to her.
Natalie Cooper felt like she’d gotten her life back. Now she had to untangle this mess of a contract if she could. It was foolish to sign those papers, and she just might have a loophole with the mess going on. Sure, Michael would ask her to stay, but she knew this wasn’t going to work out. Now that their lives had stumbled, she had the perfect out. The question was, would he let her go?
Chapter 5
The morning offered the same negative results as the day before, and Natalie felt like a free woman. Her step was lighter knowing she’d gotten lucky, fate offering her another chance. There was no way she was messing up again – she just wasn’t ready to be a mother. She was just barely taking care of herself these days. She’d focus on losing those extra pounds that Victoria would tell her about, and look for more high profile work, maybe even a new agent. She hated that it came down to a few pounds – but if that’s what they wanted, she’d let go of the pasta and bread, and slim down even more. She came to New York to model, and it was damn well time she got better paying gigs – whatever it took.
She had no idea what she was going to say to Michael or how she’d break it to him, but she wanted her life back. The clarity she finally had told her what she needed to know. She needed to find that loophole and take back her life.
Contractual Obligation: The Trilogy Page 8