by Anne Hampson
Teri had to admit that there was no way of rectifying the position and she dismissed the matter from her mind as she went to the kitchen to help Jaru with the dirty dishes, after which she and he spent a couple of hours preparing for their visitors, who would in all probability stay to tea.
The party arrived without Brand, and although Alec was lively and the children noisy and exuberant there was a noticeable gap, and with a shock of surprise Teri realized that she herself felt a pronounced void as the afternoon wore on. Brand might come over later, Linda had said, but he was not sure. He had a visitor - a business associate - and it depended on how quickly the business was completed.
‘If the man goes about four or half past Brand will come over,’ Linda had said, ‘but if he stays any later than that then Brand will have to give him some tea.’ Teri found herself repeatedly glancing at the clock and at twenty to five she knew Brand was not coming. A flatness fell upon her as she helped Jaru with the tea table. Everything else was ready and by five o’clock they were all seated round the table. When the meal was finished Alec and Susan and their family went off, back to Candida Lodge, but Linda stayed on, and when Teri went upstairs to her room she saw her and Jon strolling off towards a little arbour seat set among spreading acacias, and with huge bougainvilleas spilling over a bamboo trellis. They disappeared and a frown crossed Teri’s brow. Of late, Linda had seemed to keep Jon at a distance, just as Teri had kept Brand at a distance - or tried to. But today Linda had been far less reserved with Jon ... and now they had both gone off like that....
There was nothing in it, Teri immediately told herself. Linda might have some affection for Jon, but he would not complicate his life by allowing himself to fall in love with Linda. And yet even as she tried to reassure herself Teri was wondering why they should have gone off like that, into so secluded and intimate a place.
‘Auntie Teri!’ Wendy had gone with the others as far as the bridge, taking Buster with her; she had run all the way back and was almost breathless. ‘Where’s Auntie Linda? I want her to play with me.’
‘She’s gone for a walk with Daddy. They’ll be back in a few minutes, I expect.’ She hoped, Teri thought, glancing in the direction of the arbour.
‘Which way did they go? I’ll catch them up.’
‘I don’t know, Wendy,’ Teri lied. ‘You’d better wait here with me until they return.’
‘All right. Will you read to me? We’ll sit on the stoep so we can see them coming back.’
Teri had been reading for over half an hour when she saw the couple coming across the garden; there was a careless air about them which in itself was revealing.
‘Did you have a nice walk?’ Wendy smiled at them in turn. ‘You’ve been a long time. I wanted Auntie Linda to play with me, but Auntie. Teri read to me instead and it was nice. It’s a fairy tale about a princess in a castle and a prince who falls in love with her. I wish a prince would fall in love with me.’
‘My, but you’re starting early!’ Linda laughed at Wendy, but her eyes sought those of Jon. She was flushed and there was a glow about her which caused Teri’s heart to jerk. How far had this affair progressed?
‘I really must go,’ Linda was saying a short while later, and added, ‘Not that I want to, but Brand will be mad with me if I stay here for dinner.’
‘Why?’ asked Jon. ‘You can stay by all means. I can send one of the boys over with a message—’
‘No. Thanks all the same, Jon, but I mustn’t. Brand likes us all to be together for dinner. He’s an odd bod, as you know.’ She gave a grimace and glanced at Teri. ‘Stuffy old bachelor, as I once said, and he has these peculiar little whims.’
Teri wondered if her brother would confide in her when Linda had gone, but he went along to the little room which they had set aside as his study and there he remained until dinner time. They never dined until nine when they were alone and Wendy was in bed. Jon was strangely quiet during the meal and several times Teri had opened her mouth to say something about him and Linda, but each time she had lacked the cour-age. And in the end she decided that as it was not any business of hers she had no right to broach a subject which would assuredly embarrass her brother. However, just before they were ready for bed Jon said, in a rather husky voice,
‘I suppose you’ve been wondering why Linda and I went off like that?’
Teri felt suddenly shy, which was an altogether new experience because she and Jon had always been close.
‘I did wonder, yes.’
‘I suddenly had an urge to tell her the truth about Rosalind. I kept thinking about our conversation, earlier, when you said the truth must come out some time and we’d both feel horribly guilty and embarrassed. So I asked her to go over there with me.’
Teri looked puzzled.
‘You didn’t tell her, though.’ She knew he hadn’t, because of Linda’s expression. She could scarcely wear that glowing look had she just discovered that Jon’s wife was very much alive.
‘I shirked it in the end.’ He stopped and Teri saw the little grey lines running down the sides of his mouth. ‘I suppose you’ve guessed?’
Teri’s nerves fluttered.
‘You’re in love with Linda?’
He nodded.
‘We’ve both been fighting it for several weeks now.’
‘So that’s why Linda seemed to be keeping you at a distance?’ Teri spoke automatically, merely voicing her thoughts.
‘You noticed?’
‘I’ve felt for some time that she was beginning to care for you, but I didn’t think you were beginning to care for her.’ She shook her head. ‘Jon, what are you going to do?’
‘Divorce Rosalind.’
‘But Linda still believes you’re a widower.’
The grey lines on Jon’s face became more pronounced.
‘Yes, she still believes that.’
‘Then she must be thinking you’ve got over it rather quickly?’
‘We’ve never mentioned love, Teri. All we did over there was talk - about all sorts of things. I felt that Linda was puzzled, because I’d asked her to come with me as I wished to tell her something, but she didn’t say anything when I steered the conversation into casual lines. We both know we care, but we’ve never talked about it; that’s because of Rosalind. While Linda believes I’m a widower, and that I’ve lost my wife so recently, I can’t mention love, nor can she reveal her feelings or be in any way demonstrative towards me. It’s a purely spiritual thing - hidden yet obvious, alive but suppressed.’
A small thoughtful silence fell between them, Teri thinking, strangely enough, of Brand, and wondering what his opinion of her would be when he learned of the deception. And how would he take to the idea of Linda marrying a divorcee with a child? He had a deep and genuine regard for Jon, it was true, but whether or not he would approve of him as a husband for Linda was another matter altogether.
‘It seems to me that the sooner you make a clean breast of things the better. You can’t let Linda go on believing you to be a widower.’
‘I should have told her this afternoon—’ Jon broke off, heaving a deep sigh. ‘I wish to heaven I’d been open about it in the first place!’
She smiled faintly.
‘You weren’t to know you’d fall in love with Linda.’
He considered this for a moment.
‘It seems quite impossible that I could have done so. When I first lost Rosalind I truly believed I’d go on loving her until the day I died.’
‘I didn’t feel quite like that about Kemp,’ Teri mused, her brow creased in thought. ‘I was hurt, terribly, but after a little while I did come to admit the wisdom of Father’s assertion that I had really lost nothing - nothing worth having, that was. And I was always aware that my case was by no means as bad as yours. I suppose the humiliation of being jilted was what hurt most.’
‘What do you think of Linda - for a sister-in-law, I mean?’ Jon asked, changing the subject.
‘I knew right from the first t
hat she would make you a good wife, and she adores Wendy.’
‘So you wouldn’t mind in the least?’
‘I’m glad for you, Jon,’ but Teri just had to add, ‘It’s not going to be simple - and you’ll be a long while before you can marry Linda.’
‘I know,’ Jon frowned heavily. ‘She, on the other hand, believes it’s only a matter of waiting for a decent length of time.’
‘She’s absolutely sure that you want to marry her?’
Jon smiled faintly, his eyes reflective.
‘She knows - even though I’ve never said a word. Linda knows how I feel just as I know how she feels. Words are not necessary to convey love.’
Teri mused for a space on her own position when Linda moved into the house. They would agree, though, Teri was sure. In any case, it would be a long while before the marriage could take place, as she had just mentioned to her brother.
‘I wonder how Brand will take it.’ Teri looked anxiously at Jon, but he was completely unperturbed.
‘He’ll not mind at all so long as Linda’s happy.’
‘When are you going to tell Linda the truth?’
‘At the first opportunity,’ replied Jon with decision. ‘It’s a distasteful task but an inevitable one, so the sooner I get it over and done with the better.’ He smiled at his sister, serene now that he had made his decision. Little did he know that it would not be from him that Linda would learn the truth, but from someone quite different altogether.
CHAPTER SEVEN
BRAND and his family were dining at the Mango Club and he asked Jon and Ten to join the party, which consisted only of his family and the Daleys.
‘I’m not one for birthday parties,’ he admitted, but went on to add that as long as the whole family were at Candida Lodge they might as well make an occasion of Linda’s birthday.
They dined on a palm-shaded verandah lit by coloured lamps, but danced inside.
‘Did you miss me the other day?’ he asked with a sort of sardonic amusement, and for some reason Teri felt convinced he could have come over to Karunda had he wished. Did this mean that he had deliberately stayed away in order that she would experience some feeling of loss at his absence? She wondered what he would say were she to be honest with him and say outright that she had felt inordinately flat when at last she realized he was not going to put in an appearance.
‘Why should I miss you?’ she prevaricated, and this naturally brought forth that crooked smile.
‘One of these days, Teri, you’re going to surprise yourself - and me - by being honest.’
At this she fell out of step and he drew her to him - quite unnecessarily, she thought, but at the same time she knew a strange thrill at this close proximity and to her own surprise she made no attempt to draw away. His head came down so that his cheek almost touched hers; his mouth was close to her ear.
‘You’re as light as a feather,’ he murmured, his voice coaxing yet vibrant, teasing yet grave in some way that seemed to hold a hidden significance and Teri’s nerves fluttered and her heartbeats quickened. She felt that, had he kissed her, she would have reacted far differently from the way she acted on the previous occasion. ‘It’s too hot in here,’ he was saying. ‘Shall we go outside?’
‘On to the verandah? Yes, of course, if you want to.’
He laughed, much to her surprise and said,
‘No, my dear, not on the verandah. The garden offers privacy and balmy air and moonlight - just the setting for a man and a maid.’
‘Don’t be silly!’
‘Relax - unbend.’ Brand led her to an open french window and, holding her hand firmly, pulled her out after him. ‘I’ll make you shed that ridiculous armour if only by bringing that strong hand into play. That should awaken some sort of emotion in you.’
‘It would,’ she flashed with spirit. ‘You’d learn a little about my temper!’
‘That would be interesting,’ he laughed as, still holding on to her hand, he led her away from the lights, stopping only on reaching the shadows cast by a little grove of mango trees. Before Teri could even think of trying to escape she was in his arms, helpless as he bent his head and kissed her full on the mouth. Her heart raced uncontrollably, her whole nervous system affected by the warmth and ardour of his kiss and the feel of his slender sinewed body very close to hers. ‘Lord, you’re a tantalizing little wretch! Have you completely forgotten that fool who was stupid enough to lose you?’
She became tensed; should she answer in the affirmative she felt sure that Brand would then drop all restraint, taking such an admission as a sign that she was ready for another affair. Well, she was not ready, and never would be. Perhaps Brand was quite serious, wanting to marry her, but although Teri felt she could very soon begin to care for him — should she drop her armour as he had told her to — she was quite determined to avoid putting herself into a position where she could be hurt. Of course, Brand might be sincere, feeling he really wanted her for his wife, but so was Kemp sincere, never dreaming, on becoming engaged to her, that the day would ever dawn when he found himself preferring someone else.
‘What are you thinking about?’ Brand’s soft caressing tones broke into her reverie and she looked at him in the misted purple light given off by the stars and a moon partly hidden by cloud.
‘My thoughts are private,’ she replied with forced coldness, and received a little shake for her trouble.
‘Stop it, Teri? Don’t even my kisses thaw you?’
‘I’m not sure what you mean—’
‘Don’t lie!’ He sounded exasperated, she thought, and yet his hands were gentle on her arms. ‘Let’s walk,’ he said after a pause, and drew her arm through his.
As he had said, the air was balmy, and soft as velvet. The moon, appearing from behind the lacy wisps of cirrus cloud, brought changing shapes and colour to the trees and flowers and even to the low rambling building of the Mango Club itself. Cicadas in the trees pulsed through the silence and in the far distance the rolling hills and kopjes slumbered under the starlit dome of an African sky.
Teri felt as if she were a million miles from civilization — and from all humanity except Brand, whose hand enclosed hers in a firm and distinctly possessive clasp.
‘Hadn’t we better go back?’ Teri suggested as the distance between them and the lights from the club lengthened. ‘The others will be - be . . .’ She tailed off, not quite sure what she had intended saying. With swift irony Brand filled in.
‘Thinking things? They wouldn’t if they knew what an iceberg you are! All right, if that’s what you prefer - we’ll go back.’
She bit her lip as in a moment of revelation she admitted to herself that she had not the least desire to go back. And now she owned that this was the crucial moment when she could overstep the point of no return. How easy it would be to tell Brand that she would like to stay out here with him, in the intimacy of this tropical paradise; how easy to flirt and entice and then respond to his lovemaking ... and how pleasant. Flushing at her thoughts, Teri was profoundly thankful for the shadows which prevented her expression and her heightened colour being interpreted by the sharply perceptive eyes of her companion.
They walked back in silence. No attempt this time to hold Teri’s hand. In fact Brand deliberately put a distance between them; she felt he was baffled and ill- humoured and a sudden dejection fell upon her. She missed the companionship, the intimacy and the strength of his hand which had been oddly comforting.
They had only just joined the others when a young couple, about to pass their table, stopped and greeted Brand. Their father owned a farm some five miles north of Oaksville, Susan told Teri a few minutes later when, after having made the introductions, Brand went off to dance with Doreen and her brother with Joan Daley. Jon was dancing with Linda - had been for most of the evening - but no one appeared to notice anything strange about that; or if they did they tactfully refrained from commenting on it.
‘Doreen’s always liked Brand,’ Susan was saying, h
er eyes following the couple as they passed from the verandah into the ballroom. ‘We did think at one time that they’d make a go of it, but I’m afraid she was a little too eager. Brand has the most peculiar notions; he possesses the primitive instinct for hunting - if you know what I mean?’ Susan added, laughing. Teri nodded, reflecting on what Linda had already said on the subject. Any woman who ran after him had lost him right from the start, Linda had asserted, and added that as no woman could run away from him he was almost sure to remain a bachelor. Teri’s musings turned in on herself, and her attitude towards Brand. She had certainly run away from him ... so perhaps that was the reason why he was interested in her. He was piqued, probably, and had decided to bring her to the level of the rest. Well, she thought with satisfaction, he had failed, utterly, so perhaps he would now abandon the idea and retreat while he could still do so with some degree of grace.
The next instant she was being tantalizingly disturbed by the conviction that he had retreated, finally, out there in the garden. He would not trouble her again; his interest was dead, killed by her own entire lack of reciprocation. Her eyes sought him and his partner through the wide opening leading off the verandah. They became framed in it after a while, and remained there, scarcely moving as they talked, Brand’s head bent and his eyes looking into those of his partner. Teri moistened her lips, a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Surely she wasn’t jealous of that girl! She had never been jealous of anyone in the whole of her life!
As if sensing her interest Brand glanced over the top of Doreen’s head and for an instant their eyes met. Impelled by some demanding wish for his attention, Teri endeavoured to hold his glance, but with a swift rejection of this almost imperceptible overture Brand swung his partner round and they were lost to sight until, five or ten minutes later, they strolled on to the verandah, both laughing at some joke known only to themselves.
Doreen and her brother went over to the table which they had ordered and where two of their friends were already seated.